CliffSmith's Rating of Pick-up

Cliff's Review of Pick-up

5 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes


Directed by: Bernard Hirschenson

[size=5][b]The Teacher[/b][/size]
Directed by: Howard Avedis


Wow, now, I saw a fair amount of Grindhouse films before they became a big thing (again), but now I know EXACTLY where QT got some of this stuff. That weird rainbow opening logo thing was real. I'd seen things like it, but this film has it explicitly.

Anyhow, the movies:


Hmm...well, it is what it is! Some guy who's suppose to drive a bus across Florida to deliver it ends up picking up two hippie chicks, getting stuck in a detour through the swamp, and thus spending most of his time having sex with them. Sounds good to me! Throw in some random new age shit like terrot cards, astrology, and random politicians, molesting priests, first encounters and clowns randomly showing up in swamps (nope, not kidding), and you've got yourself a movie!

Anyhow, as a pure exercise in atmosphere, it works pretty well. It's got lots of great shots of the swamp and naked hippies. As anything else? Well..not so much. But it does what it does.

[b]The Teacher[/b]

Man oh man, did I learn a lot from this film! From this film, I learned the following things:

1. Mothers sometimes talk about their sons in the creepiest way possible to their friends, by declaring that they are attracted to them even though they are, you know, their Mother.

2. Those same mothers don't notice when a 28 year old teacher is spending way too much time with an 18 year old kid, even after really blatant flirting involving chasing each other in swimmsuits happens.

3. 28 year old school teachers who are upset with their 40 year old husbands for not growing up like hooking up with 18 year olds (no, I didn't really get it either).

4. Really hot babes that are being stalked by guys with knives don't really think it's a big deal until the guy actually kidnapps/kills someone.

5. People frequently have sex without taking their pants off.

Anyhow, the movie makes absolutely no sense whatsoever...and I loved every second of it. Basically, it's about this "Hot for teacher" babe who's loser husband took off for 6 months to race motorcycles who starts up an affair with her awkward 18 year old student. In the meantime, however, this other kid who was peeping on her dies when his insane brother, who was also peeping on her, accidentally kills him. But he blames the non-crazy brother's best friend, who of course ends up being the guy who sleeps with her.

So yah...this is quinnessential grindhouse goodness. Babes, fun if totally idiotic plot, neat locations (I really liked the old manufacturing plant thing, and the fact that everybody has a huge swimming pool, even on a teacher and loser bike racer's sallary), a few funny jokes, and even some killings to round things out. The sex/nudity is relatively tame, so is the violence, but the whole thing is just so silly and absurd it works. Haven't had this much fun with a grindhouse type film since Sunny Boy and Sugar Baby.

Pick Up - [size=4][i]6.0[/i][/size]

Teacher - [size=4][i]8.0[/i][/size]