Thrillhouse's Profile - Rotten Tomatoes

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Rating History

Baller Blockin
4 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

Durnit, I did something to my ankle. It had been raining on Friday, I was going down some stairs, and I landed on it all wrong. The funny thing is, the first thing people ask me when I tell them this is "were you drunk?" I was 100% sober. I guess I'm just a fool. But it's getting better... I think.

I stumbled upon [url="http://www.channel101.com/index.php"][color=blue]Channel 101[/color][/url] the other day and found these two incredible [url="http://www.channel101.com/shows.php?show_id=12"][color=blue]short films[/color][/url]. I mean, check out that fight choreography!

And now for some film reviews: These guys in my dorm rented [b]Baller Blockin'[/b], the Cash Money Millionaires movie, as a joke. It was the funniest 50 minutes of unintentional hilariousness that I've seen in my life. The movie is a solid zero, but for entertainment purposes it's a perfect 10. Plus, it has to set some record for the most uses of offensive language per minute.

I saw [b]Troy[/b] over the weekend, too, and it did not disappoint me. The spectacle was good, but I found myself surprised at how good the characters were. Eric Bana was a perfectly noble Hector, Orlando Bloom's girliness paid off for once, and Peter O'Toole was a great Priam. And Brian Cox is quickly joining Steve Buscemi and Jim Broadbent as one of my favorite character actors. He was such an asshole. I loved him. Oh, and Ajax is this year's biggest badass. If the gods were in there, it would've been really cool, but it also would've been at least an hour longer.

Half a Loaf of Kung Fu (Dian zhi gong fu gan chian chan)
6 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

[b]Dog Star Man[/b] - Another one of those delightful experimental shorts, except by "delightful" I mean "literally hard to watch". It's supposed to be a film about vision, whatever the hell that means. All I know is, halfway through I needed to give my eyes a rest from just looking at it. 2/10.

[b]Street of Crocodiles[/b] - An interesting animated short by the Quay brothers, whose work has apparently influenced some Tool videos. There are some really cool visuals (especially the screws unscrewing themselves) but that's about it. 5/10.

[b]The City of Lost Children[/b] was co-directed by Jean-Pierre Jeunet, so you know you're in for something special. And indeed, this is a very brilliant movie. The titular grimy port town is the most atmospheric city I've seen since [b]Dark City[/b]. The supporting cast is memorable - the evil "cyclopses", whose electronic eyewear leads to one of the best deaths ever; Uncle Irvin, the brain in a fishtank; the cloned brothers (I love those guys); the conjoined twins, and Krank, the old man who steals children for their dreams. Yes, this is truly the stuff of a wonderful dream, but the film has the muddled narrative of a dream, too. Keeping track of things can be a real chore, which is too bad, because it sinks an otherwise delightful movie.

As an experiment, [b]Timecode[/b] is a great success. It's a film done in one take, in real time, and divides the screen into four sections to follow the four storylines, which often intersect. This sounds confusing, but it's surprisingly easy to follow the action from one screen to another (the director also helps by fading out the volume on the three unimportant screens). So I feel obliged to give it some props. As a film, however... that's where everything goes downhill. The story is, frankly, shit. I didn't care about the characters, their relationships, or their troubles. The large cast also makes things hard to follow, as it's hard to introduce everybody and give them a proper set-up. The dialogue was improvised around a basic storyline, and although the actors have credentials (Salma Hayek, Holly Hunter, Stellan Sarsgaard), their improv ability is average at best. The dialogue between Hayek and Jeanne Tripplehorn in their limo is particularly amateur, and almost cringe-inducing. You'd think that a movie like this would keep you on your toes, but I lost interest after an hour. I respect Timecode, but I have no problem in trashing it.

[i]EDIT:[/i] Oooh, I forgot one. I'm sure none of you will care, but I also saw [b]Half a Loaf of Kung Fu[/b], an early Jackie Chan film that I heard of through my film class (don't ask). The plot is paper-thin, but that's to be expected. The fighting is pretty lame until the final battle, which is pretty good. However, how many kung fu movies have you seen that reference [b]Jesus Christ[/b] [b]Superstar[/b]? That's what I thought.

I originally planned on reviewing [b]Do the Right Thing[/b] in this entry, too, but I'm going to have to delay it, as I've discovered that it's going to require a lot more thought than the previous ones. Stay tuned.

The Warriors
The Warriors (1979)
10 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes
½

[b]Anna Karenina:[/b] If you're a fan of old-school, B&W, Garbo romance movies, you'll eat this up. If you're a fan of the Tolstoy book, you probably won't. How do you take a 900+ page book and turn it into a 90 minute movie? Take the Cliff Notes version, cut that in half, and change Alexey Karenin from a loser to a villain. It's interesting to view the movie as an adaptation; not so much to view it on its own terms.

I've got [b]The Chronic[/b](what?)[b]les of Narnia:[/b] Better than Harry Potter 1 and 2; not as good as Harry Potter 3 and 4. Still, that's pretty good. The effects, visuals, and most of the actors (esp. James McAvoy and Tilda Swinton, plus Michael Madsen's voice work) are top-notch. Demerits go to the vapid performance turned in by Peter and the fact that Jim Broadbent was reduced to a cameo.

[b]Syriana:[/b] Talks a lot but says little. The film's main theme - people are corrupt, especially oil companies! - is nothing new. There have been good movies that said old themes in new ways, but this isn't one of them. Don't be mistaken that Gaghan's script refuses to be dumbed down for mass appeal; it's just not good. And what a waste of a great cast.

[b]The Warriors: [/b]I like the fantasy world the movie sets up: ridiculously costumed gangs fighting it out in a decrepit, almost alternate universe NYC. I like the mesh of themes: it's part comic book, part Greek epic, part Western, part mideval quest. The rock-synth soundtrack is pretty good, too. Alas, the script sucks. The dialogue is clunky, the plot is episodic, and the women's roles are poorly-written (then again, it's not like any of the male protagonists are fully charactarized, either). I wanted to dig it, but I couldn't.

[b]King Kong:[/b] Special effects = awesome. Visuals = awesome. Fight scenes = awesome. PJ's love of scary natives and huge bugs = creepily awesome. The relationship between Naomi Watts and Kong = surprisingly effective and well done. Jack Black = surprisingly good in a serious role, and not really out of his league either, because he's playing an asshole. King Kong himself = awesome. Yes, the three hour runtime is a bit of a drag, but only for practical purposes - I had to take a bathroom break. It doesn't matter because the final two hours are mostly wall-to-wall action. It's an action movie, a love story, and it even has an anti-cruelty towards animals message. Cruelty towards dinosaurs, however, fucking kicks ass.

Anna Karenina
Anna Karenina (1935)
10 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes
½

[b]Anna Karenina:[/b] If you're a fan of old-school, B&W, Garbo romance movies, you'll eat this up. If you're a fan of the Tolstoy book, you probably won't. How do you take a 900+ page book and turn it into a 90 minute movie? Take the Cliff Notes version, cut that in half, and change Alexey Karenin from a loser to a villain. It's interesting to view the movie as an adaptation; not so much to view it on its own terms.

I've got [b]The Chronic[/b](what?)[b]les of Narnia:[/b] Better than Harry Potter 1 and 2; not as good as Harry Potter 3 and 4. Still, that's pretty good. The effects, visuals, and most of the actors (esp. James McAvoy and Tilda Swinton, plus Michael Madsen's voice work) are top-notch. Demerits go to the vapid performance turned in by Peter and the fact that Jim Broadbent was reduced to a cameo.

[b]Syriana:[/b] Talks a lot but says little. The film's main theme - people are corrupt, especially oil companies! - is nothing new. There have been good movies that said old themes in new ways, but this isn't one of them. Don't be mistaken that Gaghan's script refuses to be dumbed down for mass appeal; it's just not good. And what a waste of a great cast.

[b]The Warriors: [/b]I like the fantasy world the movie sets up: ridiculously costumed gangs fighting it out in a decrepit, almost alternate universe NYC. I like the mesh of themes: it's part comic book, part Greek epic, part Western, part mideval quest. The rock-synth soundtrack is pretty good, too. Alas, the script sucks. The dialogue is clunky, the plot is episodic, and the women's roles are poorly-written (then again, it's not like any of the male protagonists are fully charactarized, either). I wanted to dig it, but I couldn't.

[b]King Kong:[/b] Special effects = awesome. Visuals = awesome. Fight scenes = awesome. PJ's love of scary natives and huge bugs = creepily awesome. The relationship between Naomi Watts and Kong = surprisingly effective and well done. Jack Black = surprisingly good in a serious role, and not really out of his league either, because he's playing an asshole. King Kong himself = awesome. Yes, the three hour runtime is a bit of a drag, but only for practical purposes - I had to take a bathroom break. It doesn't matter because the final two hours are mostly wall-to-wall action. It's an action movie, a love story, and it even has an anti-cruelty towards animals message. Cruelty towards dinosaurs, however, fucking kicks ass.

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe
10 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes
½

[b]Anna Karenina:[/b] If you're a fan of old-school, B&W, Garbo romance movies, you'll eat this up. If you're a fan of the Tolstoy book, you probably won't. How do you take a 900+ page book and turn it into a 90 minute movie? Take the Cliff Notes version, cut that in half, and change Alexey Karenin from a loser to a villain. It's interesting to view the movie as an adaptation; not so much to view it on its own terms.

I've got [b]The Chronic[/b](what?)[b]les of Narnia:[/b] Better than Harry Potter 1 and 2; not as good as Harry Potter 3 and 4. Still, that's pretty good. The effects, visuals, and most of the actors (esp. James McAvoy and Tilda Swinton, plus Michael Madsen's voice work) are top-notch. Demerits go to the vapid performance turned in by Peter and the fact that Jim Broadbent was reduced to a cameo.

[b]Syriana:[/b] Talks a lot but says little. The film's main theme - people are corrupt, especially oil companies! - is nothing new. There have been good movies that said old themes in new ways, but this isn't one of them. Don't be mistaken that Gaghan's script refuses to be dumbed down for mass appeal; it's just not good. And what a waste of a great cast.

[b]The Warriors: [/b]I like the fantasy world the movie sets up: ridiculously costumed gangs fighting it out in a decrepit, almost alternate universe NYC. I like the mesh of themes: it's part comic book, part Greek epic, part Western, part mideval quest. The rock-synth soundtrack is pretty good, too. Alas, the script sucks. The dialogue is clunky, the plot is episodic, and the women's roles are poorly-written (then again, it's not like any of the male protagonists are fully charactarized, either). I wanted to dig it, but I couldn't.

[b]King Kong:[/b] Special effects = awesome. Visuals = awesome. Fight scenes = awesome. PJ's love of scary natives and huge bugs = creepily awesome. The relationship between Naomi Watts and Kong = surprisingly effective and well done. Jack Black = surprisingly good in a serious role, and not really out of his league either, because he's playing an asshole. King Kong himself = awesome. Yes, the three hour runtime is a bit of a drag, but only for practical purposes - I had to take a bathroom break. It doesn't matter because the final two hours are mostly wall-to-wall action. It's an action movie, a love story, and it even has an anti-cruelty towards animals message. Cruelty towards dinosaurs, however, fucking kicks ass.