B73G's Profile - Rotten Tomatoes

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Rating History

Club Dread
Club Dread (2004)
7 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

The most entertaining thing about this movie is the popcorn fight I started which is what happens when you spike my coffee with 12 sugars. You know who you are. I gave it 2/10 because it gave me an opportunity to be an @SS!

Unaccompanied Minors
10 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

While not a classic, this is the best of the poorer holiday movies. Not good like Elf, but not bad like Santa Clause 3.

Where it falters is how stupid the adults are in this and how flawed it is. Let's chase kids on a kayak in snow. I guess actually catching them at their destination (since they know where they are going) is not in the playbook. Not to mention the airport feels the need to illegally detain kids. And BTW, no one over 18 should be playing with a slinky...except me of course.

Where it's good is it has the right element of holiday cheer to it. The formula just works, much to the same way it did with Home Alone...but this is actually Home Alone meets the Breakfast Club with a very little hint of Die Hard 2 (light) in it.

Blood Diamond
Blood Diamond (2006)
10 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

I can sum this up in three words:

FAR TOO LONG!

This movie could have been great had it been about 45 minutes shorter. Well, you guessed it--there are major pacing problems.

BLING BANG!

Must guns go off every second? We get the point! But like Armageddon, it just overdoses in problems. Guns kill people, they are vicious. Just in case you didn't catch it, we'll show it again, and in case you still don't get how vicious these people are, let's show it again. Sometimes giving a director the "green light" isn't always a good thing.

Apocalypto
Apocalypto (2006)
10 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

Gibson likes gore in his movies. I guess that distracts people from his intoxicated acts of intollerance. Oh well. The first part is slow, lots of walking and there's ball eating (I know, WTF???) Then there's more walking, then there's craziness, an eclipse and running. Lots of running. I didn't know it was possible to run like that for 48 hours straight. Guess he's done his cardio workout for the rest of his life.

The movie is subtitled, but it doesn't hurt it. What does hurt it is how slow the first part is and the easily avoidable clichéed use of the classic fallacy of appealling to pity towards the end (say that 10 times fast Mel...better not, might go anti-semetic on us...).

Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj (Van Wilder 2)
10 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

Where is Ryan Reynolds and Tara Reid? This movie does everything wrong. And I mean everything!!!!!

Taj instead of being his own character almost tries to immitate Van Wilder. "Sit up straight", "write that down." Those are Van's lines. And Van said them with a smoothness that Taj just can't come close to, and much less with his accent. Tad's accent worked great in Van Wilder but in this one, you'd rather forget he ever had one and wished Kal Penn spoke in his normal voice. At least then we might have something that ressembles the confidence and smoothness of Van Wilder. Next misstep, movie is set in England. Now you have to deal with a whole set of other accents. The Brits deliver the class they have in American-style comedy. Not a good fit.

Next misstep, it follows the same pattern of its predecessor! Same kind of asshole. Same kind of girl. Same kind of challenge with the girl. Same outcome to that challenge. Same kind of set-up against the protagonist. Same reaction to the set-up. Same redemption from the set-up. Even the same type of "gross-out" scene. Same visit by the family. Need I go on?