mercurydrinker's Profile - Rotten Tomatoes

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Rating History

Koi... Mil Gaya (I Found Someone)
7 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

"Koi... Mil Gaya" from now on referred to as "Jadoo" is Indian's first attempt at a sci-fi film and what an attempt it is. Jadoo is ostensibly an ET remake, but it could be more accurately described as ET meets Grease meets Forrest Gump meets Space Jam meets Spiderman 2, seriously.

Jadoo follows the story of a retard whose father was a scientist who discovered a way to contact extraterrestrials. His father dies in a car crash and the retard discovers the computer used to contact the aliens. 5 musical numbers, a dozen costume changes, 25+ instances of product placement for Coke and Nestle and 80 minutes later we finally see the alien Jadoo. Jadoo could be described as the lovechild of a Dolphin and that blue opera-singing alien in The Fifth Element. Jadoo gives the retard and his posse of 8 year old kids (it's kinda creepy in a Michael Jackson sorta way) super powers to defeat a gang of Indian bikies in a game of basketball, in order for the retard to prove his love to a chick who is betrothed to the gang leader. Or something. The plot is long and complex, with many Brechtian devices, Shakespearean qualities and Italian Neo-realist sensbilities, but thats pretty much the story in a nutshell.

What sounds, at first, like a mess of a film, is truly the greatest example of cross-genre and cross-cultural blending so seamless and directorial brilliance that is so, er, brilliant that it would make Stanley Kubrick cry, Spielberg blow his brains out and Hitchcock collapse to the floor in a spasming nervous wreck.

Quite simply put, this film is a sublime cinematic experience without any comparison. It stands as a grand pillar to man's greatest achievement, towering above all others, like a giant phallic symbol in a vast desert plain. It has the heart of It's A Wonderful Life, the epic scope of Ben-Hur, the narrative brilliance of Citizen Kane, the suspense of Rear Window, the grandeur of Metropolis, the hilarity of The Great Dictator and the intelligence of 2001: A Space Odyssey. After watching this film you will not want to watch another film again, nay, you will not want to live life again, for your life will be absolutely complete.

A thousand years from now when future film scholars discuss the classics of this era, they won't be speaking of Citizen Kane, Casablanca or Gone with the fucking boring Wind, rather they will be watching this film on infinite loop, breaking down every single frame and simply gushing at its sheer genius. Film students across the universe will debate and ardently argue what the true meaning of this film is. Why did that retard kick the ball? Was it for the love of his girlfriend or an expression of his final belief in himself without the aid of the magical abilities of a blue extraterrestrial?

In short, this is the greatest motion picture of all time, and the most profound cinematic experience I have ever had. If you've just finished reading this, drop what you're doing now and book the next flight to India, to purchase this holy relic of a DVD. Alternatively watch this video on youtube: [url=](Click this only if you wish to have your life irrevocably transformed)[/url]

Pink Flamingos
10 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

My month in a series of moments, impressions, thoughts:

[*]Social networking sites are quite frankly, the devil. They?re scarily addictive and just plain scary, imagine just purusing a few MySpaces and finding random people you haven?t seen in yonks or bumping into your sister?s entire extended network. Also the idea that people can track entire conversations you have with other people is also creepy.

[*]The more you have, the more you smoke. After a two month hiatus, it?s back with a vengeance and I?ve gotta slow down. Leelo and Mundee, hope you both enjoyed your birthday sticks?

[*]Nothing beats a good movie marathon, although a film like Pink Flamingos should be destroyed, like mass-Nazi-book-burning destroyed. Sex while chickens are crushed? A man showing off his sphincter? A fat woman eating shit? Need I say more?

[*]Podcasts/Vodcasts are a brilliant invention. I think I listen to them more than music nowadays.

[*]Curb Your Enthusiasm is awesome and Larry David is my God.

[*]There is quite frankly too much music, films, TV and books to go through. Everyday I?m bombarded with "have you seen this?" "You should check this out!" "Download this!" "Oh my god you haven?t read that?" People should just stop making music, films, TV shows and books, just so I can catch up.

[*]Australia seems to be one of the few countries that 'celebrates' its defeats more than its victories, I'm thinking in terms of ANZAC day and the Eureka Stockade, does this say something about a nation's psyche?

[*]$6 Steaks at the Regent, yes please!

[*]I can't seem to come off right in phone interviews for some reason. I can pretty much kill (in a good way) a face to face interview, but the phone for some reason makes me a bit edgy. Hopefully one of these interviews will pan out... I really need to start my career.

[*]I?m happier and more depressed than I?ve ever been.[/list]