Jimmy Jazz's Profile - Rotten Tomatoes

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Rating History

Clerks II
Clerks II (2006)
11 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

Have I mentioned recently that I despise modern film, with a visceral passion that makes Sick Droogy look like Gene Shalit? Well, if not, then I'll take this opportunity to say that the American film industry has gone off the fucking rails, and I have no optimism about the future.

Clerks II is actually the first film I've bothered to see in the theater all year, and I just saw it because it was too hot to do anything else with my girlfriend yesterday. After the abominable disasters of [i]Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [/i]and [i]Jersey Girl[/i] (which was somehow even worse) I had little expectation for this film. It exceeded my expectations, but that's not saying much.

First off, Smith expects us to swallow far, far too many improbabilities. Dante and Randal toiling away for a [i]decade[/i] at the Qwik Stop? Dante is being swept away to Florida by a wealthy blonde? The charm of the original Clerks came from the believability that two relatively bright slackers would do all kinds of outlandish things to avoid being bored to death in mcjobs. Smith expects us to believe that these characters have been frozen in carbonite for 10 years, it's a huge stretch, and it puts the film behind the eight ball from the beginning.

Next, Brian O'Halloran (Dante) is just a lousy actor. He delivers all of his lines in a screechy monotone with the same deer in the headlights expression in every scene. This was forgivable in the original, where he was basically playing straight man to the much funnier Jeff Anderson (Randal), but is unforgivable in a script where he's supposedly playing a romantic leading man(!).

What makes the film tolerable are the aformentioned Randal, who actually delivers a few surprisingly emotional scenes towards the end, and the new characters played by Rosario Dawson and Trevor Ferhman, who both manage to have fun with the material. Combine that with a recurring gag riffing Silence of the Lambs, and Clerks II is worth watching. Once.

Silent Night, Deadly Night
12 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

Seriously, if I hear [i]Frosty the [/i]Fucking[i] Snowman[/i] one more time it's going to be a [i]red[/i] Christmas.


The Fast and the Furious
12 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

I bought a duplicate of the car in my 10/15 entry...for $5000 more than that one. Someone bought the first one while I was arranging the financing. :( So, I had to buy a brand new 2005. Oh well, at least it has the original wheels and seats. Verdict so far: schweet. I feel like Vin Diesel.





Pimp My Ride - The Complete First Season
12 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

My Toyota lease is up in January so I've started car shopping. I found this 2005 Nissan Altima SE-R for $22,000, which is like $6,000 under Blue Book, at a Pasadena Dealership. It only has 1,500 miles! I ran an accident report, came up clean. Jeez, if this is for real I might buy it tomorrow.


Heaven's Gate
Heaven's Gate (1980)
12 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes


[left]I really wanted to like this movie, but wound up agreeing with most of the critics at the time of its release: it's a mess. It's tremendously ambitious, but delivers almost nothing. Some scenes are as elegant as paintings, others look like the lens was smeared with ash. The story only works if you are sympathetic to the plot's victims: small immigrant landholders who are targeted for assassination by the county's big cattle barons, but Cimino treats these characters exactly how the barons see them: as violent gibbering anarchists who scream rather than talk.[/left]

[left]There are flashes of brilliance (including a skating fiddle player(!)), and the underrated Kris Kristofferson delivers a solid performance, but by the end I was just glad it was over.[/left]

[left]The backstory behind the film: how it almost destroyed UA and became a metaphor for out of control film costs, is a lot more interesting than the film itself.[/left]