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Rating History

Doctor Mordrid
6 months ago via Rotten Tomatoes

I was having a pretty good time with Full Moon movies lately with both Head of the Family and Gingerdead Man 2: Passion of the Crust being among the better surprises from the studio, so I was set to enjoy more of their features. Jeffrey Combs is no stranger to Full Moon movies, and being a favorite cult horror icon of mine, I picked Doctor Mordrid to be my next film to watch.

Doctor Mordrid felt similar to the Marvel Comic's character of Dr. Strange, and I've read that apparently this was what this film was intended to be an adaptation of before the licensing for the character fell through. But that didn't stop Charles Band and crew, who rewrote the script a little and changed some of the characters. I guess there were some good intentions with this movie, but it still resulted in one of the least effective films I have seen from this studio.

Something similar with most Full Moon films is that they aren't that long. This has its pluses, and it has some negatives. Doctor Mordrid is a short film at a little over 70 minutes, but nothing happens in that time span that is either interesting or could remotely considered story development. There is no build up to the film's finale, and the movie is almost completely incoherent. Maybe a longer run could have helped flesh out this film.

The film is supposed to be about a sorcerer, Mordrid (Combs), who is protecting Earth from a possible invasion from another dimension, but not a lot of magical stuff happens in the film. I guess budgeting limitations prevented the film from going all out with Mordrid's magic abilities, but a little more than the sorcerer vs. sorcerer showdown finale was needed to sell this film as a movie about people with magic powers.

I liked at the end of the film there was stop motion animation used to bring to life the bones of a couple of dinosaurs in a museum. But other than that, this ranks among my least favorite Full Moon films. It looks as if the films in this Charles Band Collection are going to be another brutal collection of films to get through.

Evil Grave: Curse of the Maya (Curse of the Maya)
7 months ago via Rotten Tomatoes

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[left][font=Courier New]My love of zombie films seems to be getting me into a lot of trouble lately. When I browse the DVD sections of stores and I stumble on a new zombie film, 9 times out of 10 I will most likely purchase the film. That is the only reason I watched David Heavener?s [i]Dawn of the Living Dead[/i]. Had it been any other monster that was featured in this film I would have never put myself through this terrible film.

I don?t think I have ever written or spoken these words before, but here we go. [b]This is the worst zombie movie I have ever seen![/b] Yes, there is an endless supply of crap zombie films out there, but none have ever been as lifeless and dull as [i]Dawn of the Living Dead[/i]. Not once does a clear story emerge, and never does an exciting or thrilling moment ever pop up as well.

It is funny that the DVD boasts about having Todd Bridges in the film. You probably remember him as Willis in [i]Diff?rent Strokes[/i]. In [i]Dawn of the Living Dead[/i] Bridges plays Herardo, a mentally challenged man. Pity his appearance and mannerisms are among the most offensive portrayals of a mentally challenged person ever on film. And why exactly did this character need to be in the film in the first place? I hope not for comic relief.

Speaking of offensive, just take a peek at the film?s representation of the Mayan culture. Some have argued that Mel Gibson?s [i]Apocalypto[/i] was disrespectful to the Mayan people. But I challenge you to watch [i]Dawn of the Living Dead[/i]?s take on their traditions about death. How a zombie movie could emerge from all that is beyond me. Utterly foolish!

I haven?t experienced other films of David Heavener, but I understand that he isn?t the most talented filmmaker out there. If [i]Dawn of the Living Dead[/i] is a good representation of this man?s talent, then I guess it would be best to stay away from his work. And speaking as a zombie lover, this man has no idea how to make a film about them. Here?s to hoping he never makes another one.[/font]
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Night Train to Terror
12 months ago via Rotten Tomatoes

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Some of the greatest horror films of all time have been anthology films, which feature a collection of short stories tied together with some sort of wrap around story. [i]Tales from the Crypt[/i], [i]The Vault of Horror[/i] and [i]Creepshow[/i] are just a few awesome anthology horror films that have always had a place in my home video collection. Everything I love about horror anthologies is everything that isn't in [i]Night Train to Terror[/i]. This obscure horror find has got to be one of the worst horror films ever put together. With every step the film took, it was another fumble to bring the movie even further down. But I would be lying if I didn't admit that I had some fun watching this film.

The movie takes place on a late night train ride, and God (credited as Himself, but actually Ferdy Mayne) and Satan (jokingly listed as Lu Sifer) are on-board exchanging tales of terror between each other while they wait for the train to derail. I know, you're probably thinking that this is a terrible thing that is going to happen to the passengers of this train. But once you actually see the passengers, you won't be able to wait for that train to derail. For some reason, the passengers are singing and dancing through the entire film (mind you the same damn song over and over again). It was like they were filming a cheesy 80's music video, with awful choreography, bad hair and terrible clothing styles. And since the train is about an hour or so away from derailing, why the hell do these people spend that amount of time singing and dancing the same routine again and again?

I thought that maybe the three tales of terror that fill the rest of the film would have made up for this, but they didn't. These are some of the worst horror stories ever put to film. One would think that two key players in the "Greatest Story Ever Told" would have been capable of telling better tales than they do in the film.

The first story is about a man named Harry Billings (John Phillip Law) who helps a psychotic doctor abduct people to cut into parts and ship around the world, the second is about a group of people who get a thrill out of risking their lives in suicide games and the final story had something to do with an apprentice to the Devil who is trying to destroy mankind (I stole that line from Wikipedia, since I really didn't understand what was going on in this final story).

None of these stories are ever interesting, and they all feature some of the worst acting in any horror film. And for the most part, all of these stories are very incoherent through most of their run. The special effects in each of these are extremely sub par, but I did get a kick out of the terrible stop motion used in a couple of the stories.

[i]Night Train to Terror[/i] is worth the curious viewing to those who love bad horror films. Almost everything to this film doesn't work in the slightest, but there is some undeniable fun to the overall experience. And when the final moments come, and that annoying group of singers on the train finally meet their demise, you'll find that even though they are gone... that damn song still remains in your head! [url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_zxET6T9f0"]Check it out on YouTube if you dare.[/url][/size][/font]