Vitamin M's Movie Ratings - Rotten Tomatoes

Movie Ratings and Reviews

Grindhouse
Grindhouse(2007)

Very funny, very exciting. Both films are a lot of fun but very different. the fake previews are great and usually hilarious. And without ruining much Deathproof is a little slow but the car chase in the end was the coolest most intense car chase I've ever seen. The person hanging on for dear life on the hood probably helped that intensity.

1408
1408(2007)
½

Darn scary! and that's all I'll say!

Hot Fuzz
Hot Fuzz(2007)

The begining is funny in that British way but kind of slow and steady. Then the last 20 minutes of the film they kick it up a notch and from the moment the hero does a flying kick to the face of some old lady with a shotgun the movie was on and became a nonstop adrenaline pumping belly gufawing slap in the face bunch of awesomeness.

Knocked Up
Knocked Up(2007)
½

One of the funnier movies I've seen come out in the last decade.
It's fresh, funny, heartwarming, realistic and just a great film expierce.
One of those rare films where you feel like you can recommend it to everyone because everyone should see it.
Great stuff. The preview for Superbad (with the similar cast and producer) alone was funnier then half the comiedes I saw last year.

Transformers
Transformers(2007)
½

I loved this film. It's just wall to wall entertainment. Except for the pain in my bladder I barely realized 2hours and 30 minutes passed plus previews. just an absolute thrill ride with some good humor and one of the hottest chicks ever.
oh and GIANT F#CKING ROBOTS DESTROYING EVERYTHIGN IN SITE!!!
Loved it. I need to see it again but if I still love it as much the second time around then it will probably move into my top 10 most fun movies ever list.

Spider-Man 3
Spider-Man 3(2007)
½

Definetly the funniest of the three spider man films and the least watchable.
The action scenes were very good but were like oasis in a desert of empty annoying sand that gets in your underware and just rubs horrendously. The characters were all stupid and horrible selfish and I understand that they are all going through a "change" here but they don't come out better in the end just with more baggage. And to top off one way up and way down film they kill Venom the only interesting character in the bunch. They really didn't need to do to much to make this a pretty good movie instead they did just about everything wrong.

Apocalypto
Apocalypto(2006)

The best film of 2006. Possibly as good as Braveheart.
Gibson proves again that he is a master filmaker who just happens to also be addicted to violence. But not in a bad way. The violence isn't supposed to be satisfying to weirdoes. Hostel was torcher porn. this is a realistic adventure action movie that dosn't turn the camera away in the heat of battle.
Be prepared for some uncomfortable images but watch this film!!!!

Smokin' Aces
Smokin' Aces(2007)
½

Not at all what I was expecting but I still really liked it. Less balls to the walls action, more humor, more characters then I can shake a fist at. Intense and fun and completely unexpected.

Children of Men

One of the best films of the year. Amazing camera work, great acting, great story, great production, great film. Period. I loved every heart pounding minute.

Casino Royale

Best Bond film ever. Maybe my favorite film of 2006 and one of the better more entertaining action films in recent memory.
Just all around fantastic.

Ghost Rider
Ghost Rider(2007)
½

Horribly written and directed but still better then the horrendous DareDevil. Mark Steven Johnson has destroyed the movie careers of two comic book characters. The film was at times funny, far too light hearted, never scary, rarely exciting and only occasionally cool. The acting was horrible except for Sam Elliot. And the battles were over too quick with too little of anything to them. I still had a mildly good time watching it but I like mindless crap.

Crank
Crank(2006)
½

This is the movie equvilent of the cocaine. The main character Chevy might need to keep his adreniline pumping but if I were him I would just watch this movie, he'd definetly stay alive for the 80 minute run time.
I'd also liken it to playing Grand theft Auto while halucinating.
So yeah I liked it.

Snakes on a Plane

Snakes are scary! Planes are scary! Sam Jackson voicemails are hilarious!
SOAP is an enjoyable movie, very dumb at times but just remember you are watching a movie called SNAKES ON A PLANE!! and a snake bites a booby.
silly stuff.

Beerfest
Beerfest(2006)
½

DAS BOOT!!!!!
CHUG-CHUG_CHUG!!!
yeah I had fun.

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby

I laughed until it hurt!
"Help me Tom Cruise! Help me with your magic!"
"Walker and Texas Ranger."
"Shake and bake."
Just about a perfect comedy, maybe not as good as Anchorman but close and only repeat viewings will tell for sure.

Mission: Impossible III

I like it. Tom Cruise is nuts but JJ Abrams made one hell of a movie here. It was real without being boring and exciting without being fake. Now that's usually pretty impossible for most filmakers.

X-Men: The Last Stand
½

I was very excited to see this film but my expecations were low with the leaving of Singer, the hiring of Ratner and the reactions I had heard of the script. Overall though I enjoyed the film. It's a bit of a mess and the deaths and depowering of some individuals was unneccessary and dumb but a little scene of chess at the end made up for it in my mind.
Now let Joss Whendon do his X-men!

Inside Man
Inside Man(2006)
½

Great little hiest flick, the trick in the end was a little obvious and the twist a little contrived but the whole thing was pretty darn excting, funny and entertaining. Denzel and Clive were both great and Jodi Foster played the utter b!tch we all know she really is. And Spike Lee actually showed that he can make a good film!

Silent Hill
Silent Hill(2006)

I think I understand what happened in this film...even if what I understand dosn't make sense. Either way it gave me nightmares and scared the crap out of me as well as disgusted the spit out of me. I think a person would need to be pretty preverted to have truly enjoyed this movie but it is put together well visually but poorly written. Ganz has the visual flare. He just needs to make Brotherhood of the wolf 2.

Lucky Number Slevin

A lot of fun. I loved the humor and dialouge in the first half and the second half was all events action and revelation. So I guessed the big "twist" within two minutes, so what, I still enjoyed the crap out of this film.

Crash
Crash(2004)
½

This is a good movie and if it proves one thing in winning the Oscar, it is that there were not a lot of incredible Oscar worthy movies this year.

I thought it was humorus and sometimes emotional even if it was forced. The story was good, the acting was great but the only reason this film won the Academy award was because it had the most controversy, some people hated and others loved it. That's the only reason. Brokeback didn't win because nobody was going to create a controversy because it's not nice to pick on gay people. Either way this movie will soon be forgotten as most good but unspectacular movies do.

note: I saw this movie in it's original release opening weekend and I forgot to even post a review on this site, the only reason I remember now is because it's getting all this recognition.

Ultraviolet
Ultraviolet(2006)

I actually felt like leaving the theater and I never do that.
There was no story and no worries. Milla killed everyone in site and was never in any danger so why would I even care. The action was nice usually and the look was interesting but it needed some humor or a likeable character or a story or something. I will say that the most likeable character was Milla's stomach, that thing is nice....but it may have had a little too much screen time.

Fun With Dick and Jane
½

It's a silly little movie that is neither that great nor that bad, not too funny nor too dramatic. It's no Ace Ventura but it's not The Majestic either. It's just fun with Dick and Jane.

Underworld: Evolution
½

Not as fast and fun as the first. The style is much less Matrix and much more Van Helsing...in fact the whole thing is very Van helsing except much better. Anyway its just a fun little pop corn movie with a hot vampire chick. (but in the sex scene you don't see much so don't get your hopes up).
Oh and the story dosn't make too much sense but who really cares in this type of movie.
On repeat viewing I found it to be a little worse and so have dropped it down to a 5 (from 6) but the above is still mostly true.

Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance
½

What a film. It's just nuts...but beautiful...but violent...

King Kong
King Kong(2005)
½

I can't say whether this was the best film of 2005 yet, that may take a few more viewings and a few viewings of a few other movies to compare but it is damn good! The first hour is slow moving but very intersting and important then as soon as they reach the dreaded skull island everything picks up and the viewer is pulled through 90 minutes of high octaine fun, excitement and scary intensity. Giant bugs freak me out and the Dinosaurs were amazing. Then comes the last half hour in which I really did feel the saddness of the characters as I knew what lay ahead. I left emotionally spent and with some eye strain but it was worth it. What a movie!

Jarhead
Jarhead(2005)

This is quite the war film, much more emotional then it immediately seems, almost touching, but also funny and smart with secenes as intense as any other war movie. No action but it's just not that type of movie.
Very good. Probably in the top ten of the year...maybe.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Pretty darn good movie overall, definetly different then the last three but close to the third in style. Darker, more grown up and very exciting. I just hope the movies continue to evolve they way they have so far. Just damn good stuff.
The best Harry Potter movie and one of the best big budget films this year.
I'd give it more like an 8 and 1/2 if there was an option.

Wedding Crashers

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death. Now that was funny and so was The Wedding Crashers.
The whole thing was just a whole lot of fun but I will say that it's fair share of wince inducing scenes and especailly the sappy/ridiculous ending kind of ruined the overall feeling. The 40 year old Virgin was definetly the better comedy with far less pain and far more big laughs.

Doom
Doom(2005)
½

It wasn't a piece of crap and it's probably one of the best video game adaptations ever and it even managed to have a few scares but it was still nothing new and not worth the time or price of admission.
The setup is too long and the action and scares too few. Most of all the action takes place durning the first person shooter scene which lasts maybe 3 minutes and it was nothing spectacular. And what the hell the Rock suddenly goes all evil in the end of the movie (even before he was bitten) and then he and Urban have a really crappy fist fight and the movie is quickly over.
They didn't even leave anything intersting for a sequel probably because there was nothign intersting to begin with.
At least Resident Evil was entertaining and Uwe Bol movies are funny as hell because their so awful but Doom? It was just the same thing as a dozen or so cheaper sci-fi channel movies who were also trying to rip off Alien.
Anyway it wasn't awful, it just never went anywhere.
oh and the chick in the movie dosn't wear a bra and that's spectacular!

Serenity
Serenity(2005)
½

I borrowed the season dvd's of Firefly from a friend and watched the 14 episodes in three days and was instantly a fan of the show. Witty, sarcasatic and so much fun I found myself busting out in audible laughter at least once an episode. Meanwhile the show was exciting and sometimes even dreadfully tense and even frightening. The effects weren't always the best but the acting and writing that drew out these characters was amazing and I instantly fell in love with each and every one.
I've only been waiting for the film for a few weeks but it did not disappoint. It was everything the show was but bigger and faster. The mythology gets a little screwed up but it's forgiveable. This is just a great film and I want more or at least another try at the series!
SO my highest possbile recomendation is that everyone rent the Firefly DVD's watch them quickly and then run out to the multiplex and watch the film. If you like to be entertained then you will thank me, if you're an a$$ then you might not.

Transporter 2

Despite having two of the most ridiculous scenes I have ever witnessed on the big screen (the bomb under the car is one) this movie is still so much good fun.
Jason is just cool and he gets everyones ass. He completely kicks Bonds ass and the Punishers ass and Jackie Chan's ass. The action is great if not far fetch and the effects are a lot better then much more expensive movies have been. And the story makes a whole lot more sense then the first one, which is still very little but come on, that blonde chick with the guns was hot!

The 40 Year Old Virgin

The movie definetly has dry spots. Areas where I had a constant smile but wasn't laughing that hard and then it would happen, a scene would begin and sustain constant belly laughter for a solid 5 minutes. This happened about three times for me and that's better then most comedies. And that's what this is, better the most comedies. Carrell is absolutely perfect and I was so glad he played the character as he did. Not the perfect comedy (Anchorman) but closer then most (Guess Who).

100 Girls
100 Girls(2000)

I watched this movie on late night HBO some time ago and it actually was quite funny and entertaining. And the kid in it was great. And there were hot chicks everywhere.
Good writing too.

You Got Served

Okay I gave this film a 1 ouf of 10 but I will say that everyone in the world should be forced to watch it once every five years to remind everyone how stupid those two kids from the B2K are.
Anyway this movie is so awful it reaches to that level where it is so awful it's good. It's a work of awful art. Not many could create something so inane and ridiculous. The dance scenes can be eye catching and make you wish you were able to do something that cool before remembering that it isn't actually cool. I mean a guy slides across the floor on his head, that's awesome, what use does that have in society, none whatsoever except to make me laugh hysterically. So the dance scenes are fun and often hilarious and sometimes exciting but the acting and story is what really makes this a truly great awful movie. Oh it's so awful and their homeboy ghetto laugauge is all the more funny since these arent' ghetto thugs, these are 'dancers' and I say that while raising my voice to a squeak and making my wrist limp. So ridiculous but so much fun.

Red Eye
Red Eye(2005)

The two main characters in this film get the absolute crap kicked out of them.
Anyway this is a fun movie and that's about all there is to say about it. It's not art but it's probably one of the most fun movies I've scene in the theater in the last year. It's also like 75 minutes long so don't expect an epic. The actors kept me very interested even when nothing was happening and I can't wait for Red Eye Two:Pink Eye season...or Eye Redder? Or the return of the get ass chick with the stick.
Also it remineded me of a very similar fun movie called Cellular. See both of these if you like light fun films.

The Island
The Island(2005)

The Island begins by displaying some intrigue and character interaction that Bay rarely uses in his films. The first half of the movie is very good but the second half eventually falls in the typical blow everything up mentaility, not that I mind but it just felt like a big shift in the film.
Anyway some of the action scenes were incredbile some of them ridiculous but they were all fun. Anyway it's a fun little movie that was better then most of the big budget films of the last year and should have done better in the theaters then it did but on the other hand it's forgettable enough that I don't think I really care that it failed.
Okay I wrote all that a few days ago but upon further reflection I dropped my rating from a 7 to a 6 because I saw the film RedEye. Red Eye was able to have a lot more fun and suspense and maybe even a better build to the action in about half the run time, so yes the Island was entertaining but you would be better served and save more time by just seeing Red Eye twice.
If anyone actually reads this you may notice that yes I am now am now championing the Red Eye and anything Stephen Chow does. I can't wait for Kung Fu Hustle 2.

Shaolin Soccer
½

This movie is flat out awesome! Every small detail is hilarious and every build up to every joke is incredible. The action is awesome and yet still funny. Too bad no one gave chow access to ILM or this thing would be flawless. Anyway the special effects are good enough and if you can look past them entirely then you will see one of the smartest, funniest most action packed movies of the millenium. And after you see it go and see Kung Fu Hustle which is every bit as totally awesome! Totally!

Batman Begins
½

Best Movie of 2005 as of yet. Best Summer BLockbuster of Summer 2005. And it will probably remain my favorite movie of the year until King Kong is released.
Great movie and I can't wait for sequels with the same cast and creative team. Please everyone go see this movie and make the studio's beg for Nolan and the whole cast and crew to come back and make the next film. People complain about the crappy movies that come out every year, go support the one that is worth seeing again and again!

Mr. & Mrs. Smith
½

It wasn't the best film of the summer by any means, War of the Worlds is better and I hope Batman is better but Pitt and Jolie have a just plain fun movie here. I laughed almost non stop and the action was pretty good too. That ending could have been better but I'm saying that a lot lately.

War of the Worlds

It was exciting and intense and then it ended and I was like damn, where's the climactic ending? But I knew what I was getting into and anyone who remembers anything about Wells will know how this sucker is going to end but I had just hoped that Steve would have brought something new to the finish.
Either way I walked out and I couldn't stop talking, not just about this movie but about movies in general. and even if once out of the theather I realized about a dozen parts of that movie that are purely ridiculous (even if you do believe in aliens and tripod killer robots) even though the ending was a bit of a let down, even though Tim Robbins is just weird, if anything this movie just made me excited about movies. Spielberg hasn't made a masterpiece but he has made a truly exciting movie and in this day and age, a movie that continues to excite even after the credits have rolled is rare indeed.

Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith

I'm not a big Star Wars geek but I still found myself lulled into a melancoly stuper at the end of The Sith, Williams music and the that final desert sunset didn't make me cry but they showed me that I would not laugh at those who did. Then I wondered how such horrible dialouge and ridiculous love story could have had such an effect on me? I guess it's because that no matter how badly the relationship was written I still believed it all was happening. I understood what Lucas was trying to do and if nothing else the ideas worked...well so did the fighting and shooting and blasting and rolling and running and jumping and flipping and yelling and everything else in the film that was just awesome!
I even think you can forget the first two films ever happened, Episode III seems to stand alone fairly well, so I'll try to forget about Jar Jar and everything else that didn't work with this series and just concentrate on this one fine film. It wasn't perfect but damn I could see it wanted to be.
Oh and I want a lightsaber really bad!
In the same way my wife wanted a samurai sword after seeing Kill Bill Vol 1.

Willow
Willow(1988)
½

What a great piece of escapism, I just watched it the other day and I can still remember every line just like I could ten years ago when it was all that I watched. Mad Mardigan is the man!

Kung Fu Hustle

Oh my goodness is this movie fun! When I wasn't laughing hysterically I was dropping my jaw at the amazingly out of control battles. and the scene during the opeining credits with the axe gang doing a little dance was just great!

The Interpreter
½

Smart, tight, well acted, well written, and even funny, but not as many thrills as you might think.

Fight Club
Fight Club(1999)

I was like a big enjoyable poke to the eyes!
Blew me away and made me forgive Pitt for Joe Black and has caused me to watch every Edward Norton movie since (even if they've mostly sucked).

Jurassic Park

I love dinosaurs! This movie is a child hood dream/nightmare come true and it looked so real and was so fun and jaw dropping. It put Raptors on the top ten villians list!

Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi
½

Okay it had Ewokes (which I loved at a younger age) but it still has Carrie Fisher in a metal biki, the biggest space battle to date, and dark silouettes weilding glowing light sabers to some of the most heart pounding film scoring ever. But yes it had Ewokes.

Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back

Just incredible. It has definetly grown on me with age but I was addicted to the Hoth battle for most of my childhood years.

Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope

What a great movie! It's just as fun now as it was the first time I saw it and I've seen it a lot (although nothing compared to many of you geeks I'm sure).
It's just pure fun. Action by the truck loads, cool characters every where, humor in just the right places, space ships, wookies, and Han Solo.

Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace

It's dumb but parts are really exciting. I love Darth Maul, such an ominous villian. The pod race felt faster then anything I had seen on screen. Too bad the best two characters in this new series died in the first installment (Qui Gon Jin and Darth Maul RIP).

Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones

Entertaining and visually dazzling but the dialouge sucks, the romance is ridiculous and why couldn't Darth Maul still be around?
Yoda was cool as hell but Anakin is anything but.

Gladiator
Gladiator(2000)
½

This is a great epic, the style is perfect, and Maximus takes his rank among the most badass warriors in film history thanks to Russell Crowes brilliance.

Saving Private Ryan

The best war film ever and in my opinion one of the best films ever. How it lost the Oscar to that piece of shit Shakespear in Love I will never know. Probably the biggest atroscity in Academy history.
But I will not dwell on the negative, this is a triumphant, sad, violent, intense, perfect film.

Braveheart
Braveheart(1995)

What a damn good movie.

The Matrix Revolutions

Maybe a bit of a let down compared to the first two but still an amazing movie that I can't get enough of.

The Matrix Reloaded

Not as ground breaking as the first and maybe a little pretentious but damn I love this film. Everything about it is badass cool.

The Matrix
The Matrix(1999)

This movie is insane. I love it. Intense, smart, action packed, and a collection of the coolest shots and most badass images ever scene...well until every single movie since copied it. In short it is the most influential film of the last decade, whether you like its influence or not.

The Aviator
The Aviator(2004)

It was really long. Oh and Dicaprio was amazing, Kate deserved her Oscar and I everything about it was ripe with the era. But it was really long and I got sleepy and my bum hurt after awhile and my contacts started buggin out but I liked it enough to stick with it.

Constantine
Constantine(2005)
½

I liked it. The mood was great and Keanu is more badass then people give him credit for. Weiz was only okay and the story of the Mexican with the spear thing seemed kind of tacked on even if it was important to the end of the story.
Oh and I don't agree with it's philosophy.
Overall it was better then it should have been but not as good as I wanted it to be.

Hitch
Hitch(2005)
½

I was suprised but this movie made me belly laugh all through out and I left with a satisfied grin on my mug.

Taxi
Taxi(2004)

I watched the directors cut and it bothered me...that's about it, no entertainment, no likeable characters, no story, no nothing. Oh and I hate Queen Latifa now.

Blade: Trinity

What a piece, although Ryan Reynolds was hilarious. Come on Van Wilder 2!

Ocean's Twelve
½

I need to watch it again, but I think I liked it more then the last. Very stylish.

The Incredibles

Wonderful action, brilliant comedy, great voice acting!

Robots
Robots(2005)
½

Nice but some of the conclusions make no sense and overall it's just a bit of alright.

Kill Bill: Volume 2

:D I can't wait to watch them back to back.