Lux Obscura's Profile - Rotten Tomatoes

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Rating History

I Am Sartana, Trade Your Guns for a Coffin (C'è Sartana... vendi la pistola e comprati la bara!)
2 months ago via Rotten Tomatoes
½

This film was 90% garbage and 10% wasted good ideas. Firstly, the production was horrible. It looked like the budget was $10,000 bucks and very well should have been. Everything looked pretty cheap. The cinematography was invariably horrible and the gunfights were random and nonsensical. Now there were some redeeming factors in the wildly odd gunfights, but mostly they came off as obscurely stupid (gun in bread loaf)...

George Hilton couldn't hold a candle to Garko's Sartana. While Garko came off as calm, cool, sly and invincible. Hilton was just a douche-bag, cocky and pedestrian. His wit was MIA. Now this is mostly the writers fault, but definitely some of the blame is to be awarded to Hilton.

The best part of the film was the fabulously gay Sabbath (played by Charles Southwood). His eccentric outfit was complete with white parasol. Good thing he kicks ass with a rifle. He was very funny and the best part of the whole film.

Overall, it's only for very very hardcore spaghetti western fans. Stay away, you'll never get that hour or so of your life back.

Nymphomaniac: Volume I
2 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

I don't know how you make a movie with so many gratuitous and explicit sex scenes into such a boring, dull tour de force. I mean the revelations in this film were so superficial, meaningless and trite that I cannot fathom why someone would be interested in this film unless it was to see Shia Le Bouf's manhood or this new, poor actress show her vagina to the world and ruin her career. And if you're watching this for the nudity and sex....do yourself a favor and turn it off now, then go to your computer and navigate to your favorite porn site....The funny thing is that porn is so much more engaging than this film. Hell I'd rather listen to Stellan Skarsgård talk about fly fishing for 2 hours than watch this film again.

For the people rating this high....I'm sorry but comparing fly fishing to sex, or musical composition to sexual satisfaction is not deep. It's pretentious drivel. It's almost too stupid to be considered pretentious. The film just meanders on from exhausting scene to exhausting scene. There is no real pathos here, or any poignancy to any scene save for the super suspenseful end climax where.....SPOILER ALERT...her vagina gets numb.

Wow. Thanks Lars for making Ghost Rider 2 look deep. I would also like to say that Lars is a very competent director and it's such a shame that he believes that his writing is up to par. I really wish for him to direct something from another writer, perhaps then we'll see his true potential.