Lux Obscura's Movie Ratings - Rotten Tomatoes

Movie Ratings and Reviews

Nymphomaniac: Volume I

I don't know how you make a movie with so many gratuitous and explicit sex scenes into such a boring, dull tour de force. I mean the revelations in this film were so superficial, meaningless and trite that I cannot fathom why someone would be interested in this film unless it was to see Shia Le Bouf's manhood or this new, poor actress show her vagina to the world and ruin her career. And if you're watching this for the nudity and yourself a favor and turn it off now, then go to your computer and navigate to your favorite porn site....The funny thing is that porn is so much more engaging than this film. Hell I'd rather listen to Stellan Skarsgård talk about fly fishing for 2 hours than watch this film again.

For the people rating this high....I'm sorry but comparing fly fishing to sex, or musical composition to sexual satisfaction is not deep. It's pretentious drivel. It's almost too stupid to be considered pretentious. The film just meanders on from exhausting scene to exhausting scene. There is no real pathos here, or any poignancy to any scene save for the super suspenseful end climax where.....SPOILER ALERT...her vagina gets numb.

Wow. Thanks Lars for making Ghost Rider 2 look deep. I would also like to say that Lars is a very competent director and it's such a shame that he believes that his writing is up to par. I really wish for him to direct something from another writer, perhaps then we'll see his true potential.


Review to come.

48 HRS
48 HRS(1982)

Quintessential 80's Eddide Murphy movie, complete with humor I'll never seem to understand. Case in point: Eddie Murphy's joke about how he's so good in bed he 'should have his dick bronzed'. Oddly every synopsis of this film refrains from mentioning how utterly racist detective Jack Cates (Nick Nolte) is. He is almost nonsensically and idiotically racist. He lets his racism get in the way of solving the murder of two of his colleagues. He calls Reggie (Murphy) n***er, charcoal, watermelon, spear chucker....etc.
The story of Cates' is odd, because he is technically a very very bad detective. His horrible MO led directly to the death of an officer. And yet he wins in the end, which would make him a good detective... But there is a lot of things that are unbelievable about this film, for instance Cates' relationship, we never for an instant feel it's legitimate. The insane ups and downs of their relationship seemed like a roller coaster, and that was just within the first few scenes. This goes on throughout the whole movie. So does this undercurrent of Reggie and his quest for some "trim". Ultimately when he amazingly achieves in getting some "trim", the woman he just met insanely agrees to wait six months for him to get out of prison.
While the overall story is technically a good idea. The execution leaves much to be desired. Particularity in the acting dept. We only are convinced by Eddie half of the time. And James Remar does a horrible job as Ganz. His acting belongs in the B-rated films he was finally destined for. Not once was I convinced he was killer or dangerous. David Patrick Kelly must have played the same character throughout my entire childhood in the 80's. He had one note: scenery chewing neurotic highly explosive weirdo. In fact everyone in the film seemed almost unjustifiably volatile. As if overacting was the only way to bring the ridiculous script to life.
The few redeeming factors: nostalgia, the handful of topless scenes, the sets, and the score. San Fransisco brought some reality and grit into this film. And James Horner's score created drama and excitement where there was little.


Review to come.

Django Unchained

At times genius, hilarious and bold. Other times, cheezy, ridiculous, meandering and a bit too full of itself.

This is the best film of the year ( that I've seen ) which doesn't say much, but it's also definitely Tarantino's weakest film to date.

One third of the way through, I thought to myself 'this is the best movie of the year'. At the closing credits....I wasn't so sure. But ultimately it is because this was a real shit year for movies for me. I've yet to see Argo or The Hobbit though.

I'm not sure where to start with this review. I will say there is an insane amount of the use of the word 'nigger'. I'm sure it's some kind of record in the history of cinema. There are also buckets of blood. Not particularly gore...just blood splashing (not splattering )...literally splashing from people. Among the other possible offensive things....Jamie Foxx's character hangs dong.

Now, Tarantino had me at the first third. It was funny, beautifully shot and engaging. Not very innovative, but good. Christoph Waltz was great but largely the same character he played in Inglorious Basterds. Which was odd, because it made him untrustworthy in my opinion, when he clearly should have been a good guy. Jamie Foxx was rather boring and sometimes over the top, apparently feeding off the ridiculousness of the film itself.

The movies pacing changes when we hit Candieland and Leonardo's outrageous and pretty believable Calvin Candie. Samuel L. Jackson also throws out all the stops and becomes Samuel v 2.0 uttering the n-word and mother fuckers galore. His character becomes even deeper as we see the twisted and convincing relationship he has with Calvin Candie. There's some great film making there, with a very tense scene in the dining room etc.

Where I got lost was the final 30 mins or so. Seemed totally unnecessary and drove the film from cool "throwback" violence with ultra fake blood to scary movie 3 territory. I kind of understand why he took it there, and why the film didn't end when it probably should have. But a little editing would have made it a way better film.

One other thing that didn't feel right, was the universe didn't feel fully fleshed out. We had snippets of a lot of ideas: the whole broomhilda/ seigfried story, the Australians (?), mandingo fighting. But I felt they were just pieces, never threaded together enough to feel like a whole.

Which brings me to the soundtrack. Overall great, Tarantino lifts the original Django theme song (nice), some Ennio Morricone music ( great ), Rick Ross.....wait wha?....yeah Rick Ross ( surprisingly good )....and then the last third some uber generic hillbilly junk... Brother Dege (?), Elisa Toffoli ( more junk). Those two songs felt out of place. They gave their respective scenes a tinge of the generic and affected them negatively.

Now overall this film has some redeeming moments, but maybe perhaps a bit too "meta" for it's own good. See it matinee. Overall 68%


**********Here there be Spoilers************

Ah...looper. I wanted to like you. It's just time travel movies are inherently full of paradoxes. I was wondering how they would handle it and after drawing pages full of diagrams and trying to comprehend some of the inane decisions of Rian Johnson which were created by intentionally leaving expository elements out of the film, I finally came to a satisfactory conclusion that would allow me to embrace Looper. The only problem is that it takes quite a bit of 'reading into' the story or embellishing elements that may be only hinted on in the actual movie.

But the true reason for my low rating wasn't solely based on the major plot holes. It was based on the actual characters. I felt that Johnson didn't do a good enough job depicting why Old Joe's love was so strong that he'd kill a child in order to save his wife, not to mention how that would even affect present Old Joe. ( Think..the montage in Up with his wife, we needed something like that ) . Because we're not torn anymore after Old Joe kills a child, Old Joe becomes an antagonist....and we need him to be humanized. There was also little chemistry between JoGoLev and Emily Blunt. I loved the gray area Johnson was dipping his feet in with Cid's character and the whole nature vs. nurture argument. ( Which falls apart a bit if you imagine that 'the rainmaker' must exist in all timelines and the whole story hinges on nurture being stronger than we must read into the fact that Cid would have acknowledged Joe's sacrifice for him and started to see Sara as his real mom because of order to stop the loop ) In that regard, I was just annoyed with the cheesy way the director depicted the angry Cid...slow motion facial just came across as amateurish. The hover bike scenes also looked dated..Star Wars anyone? And the action scenes.....felt very comic book, I thought I was watching The Fifth Element for a moment there.

There were a few things that would have made this film better and easier to understand. One would be: to make the scene where Joe has to kill his future self a random anomaly. Or make it a plot point that the Loopers don't know they'd be killing themselves. A cruel mob joke....maybe. It just seems illogical that the entire film hinges on the Loopers needlessly going back to kill themselves.

anyway. It's worth watching on demand or netflix or dvd.

Bakjwi (Thirst)

The classic tale Thérèse Raquin......with vampires.
and in Korea.

Thirst is the story of a young woman (Tae Joo) who was orphaned by her mother to a dress shop owner and basically becomes an indentured servant who is forced to be unhappily married to her son...a sickly schlub ( possibly psychosomatic or a hypochondriac ). Her mother-in-law may seem to be well-intentioned but in many ways is deeply selfish. When the opportunity arises, Tae Joo enters into a turbulent and sordidly passionate affair with one of her husbands old friends, Sang-Hyun ( who just so happens to be a vampire priest ). This film follows the plot of Thérèse Raquin so closely I just copy and pasted the plot from wikipedia and altered every so slightly to fit this film.

My problems with Thirst arise with mostly the elements of the story that Park initiated. The vampire priest. The first third of the film just plops story elements on the viewer and felt very unfocused. The editing was choppy as well. We learn little about Sang Hyun or what drives him. I didn't even fully understand why he subjected himself to that science experiment etc. Why is he so frustrated with life? What propels this sequence of events? It was like, well, Park needed him to be a vampire and a priest so whats the best way to do that? Oh a science experiment gone wrong.

In the middle third, we realize he is a vampire and the narrative establishes his affair and lust for Tae-Joo. This is essentially where the Thérèse Raquin story begins. Insert a bit of vamp into that and a steamy hospital sex scene and I'm slightly more interested now. I didn't really see the black humor in any of this. Perhaps life just has bits of humor even if you're a vampire. It can just be part of the story. And in that, I suppose i could have missed it. But the love/lust between them seemed genuine. There were two great scenes involving their affair and one was the shoes scene ( shot entirely from the ground level ) and the second was when he was holding her and bounding on the rooftops. Both of these scens had magic in them.

Now the story continues to follow the Thérèse Raquin narrative but veers slightly off course with Tae Joo's character. Park suddenly felt the need to make her a blood thirsty pyscho...again here the character change felt a bit rushed, though we do get some insights into her true manipulative self earlier on in the film. And I suppose it's hard to deal with becoming one of the living dead.

This review is turning out to be quite long, so in brief, I'd say there are few wonderfully delightful scenes in this remix of a classic tale. The visuals were, for the most part, commanded well and the score felt invisible, which can be a good thing. Overall the film felt a bit too long, but climaxed in a nice, satirical, vampires meets The Honey Mooners kind of way.

The Dark Knight Rises

Even the greatest stumble now and again.

Where should I start with The Dark Knight Rises? Initial disclaimer, I'm a big batman fan ( who isn't ), and have been since I was a small child. I'm also a huge Chris Nolan fan. The man has an amazing track record and is a craftsman through and through. But I knew in my heart, it was inhumanly possible to keep pushing the bombastic and dynamic and the celluloid the way he has been the past few years.

I saw this with zero preconceptions at 3am Friday morning. And initially I forgave the pace. It seemed like it was driving ever forward at 100 mph, scene after scene, never lingering, never wavering in its mission. But it felt choppy. I accpeted that thinking it was building to some humongous climax. The pace felt very much like inception and this coupled with the many flashbacks created a dreamy quality within the film. It was like that space between sleep and wake, a delusional limbo where things just happen devoid of reason. Like Prometheus there were many little inexplicable things, that defied logic but hey we're watching a movie about a man who dresses as a giant bat, some things are forgivable. In the case of inception we forgave these little things because they could be chalked up to being part of a dream...we didn't need them to be explained or reasoned. But here....we kind of do.

The things that I couldn't forgive we're the action scenes. The actual fight choreography seemed utterly fake compared to the other Nolan batman films. The battles with Bane were very underwhelming. Perhaps it was his treatment of batman himself, felt way less gritty and mysterious. I know the story definitely mixed Frank Millers The Dark Knight Returns with the Bane story arch and this probably led to the different light that batman was held in. I also couldn't look past the cheesy one liners, it seemed a lot of the dialogue was written with this ( ridiculous ) self referential, tongue in cheek popcorn flick, fast food mentality a la these more recent super hero flicks.....which would be fine if the previous films weren't so dark and serious.

What was amazing was the amount of characters and story elements that he fit into this 3 hour film. It encompassed current events like terrorism, the 99%, the dangers of nuclear power ( Japan ), and civil war ( a la Syria/Libya ) among others. And I couldn't somewhat help to think that somewhere there is a good 5 hour version of this film.

Ultimately Nolan was probably trying to satisfy everyone and obviously.....well you know what happens.

True Grit
True Grit(2010)

This is a great modern western driven by very good performances all around. Combining a great, classic adventure story with sharp acting and beautiful cinematography.

Bridges embodied alcoholic marshal Rooster Cogburn and Hailee Steinfeld demonstrated serious acting chops ( and I hate child actors). The chemistry between Bridges and Damon was simply first rate. Their clashes were very believable and felt off the cuff.

Another reason True Grit really shines is that the Coen's held back some of the darkness that permeates their other films and decided to stick to the source material. You also can't discount Roger Deakins. The cinematography was just about breathtaking at times. He truly is a master. The score was perfect as well.


The warden was right, Bronson is nihilistic. Unfortunately so was this film. It's one big, full frontal, purposeless display after another. The story lacks direction, structure and a sense of space. I get that he's not trying to do a typical character study but while Refn is a craftsman for sure, I feel he doesn't have the finesse or vision to create something on par with A Clockwork Orange.

What we get is scene after scene of aimless, drifting story filled with kubrickian ( I made that up ) style craftsmanship. Sweeping dolly shots juxtaposed with striking imagery or violence coupled with classical music (the art room scene stands out in particular). But as style can be learned, taste cannot. Refn can ape Kubrick all he wants but this film is mostly heartless. He's pandering to a taste that already exists basically recycling it without most likely understanding it. Here though we get to see Refn's modus operandi, his habit of pairing 80's pop music (nostalgia/irony) with violent scenes and his command of mood and atmosphere.

For all it's visual prettiness though, the lack of structure leads the viewer to be lost, we don't know how much time has passed between his stints in the jail, we don't know who these people are in his life, we get no character growth or even narrative climax. And making it even more disorienting Refn includes these surreal one man show scenes meant to guide the viewer through Bronson's psyche which have the complete opposite effect. The final scene creeps up on you as you're wondering where this is all going and sets itself apart from the other slow motion, violent clashes by giving Tom Hardy's wang more screen time.

The acting was obviously a stand out here. Tom Hardy gave it his all, literally. Which is commendable. He did very well with what he was given but I couldn't help feel slightly underwhelmed due to the shallowness of his character.

The worst part is that Charlie Bronson's wikipedia page is more interesting than this film and it makes me wonder why Refn couldn't create a cohesive, meaningful character study or if even Bronson was worth one. I mean it's 30 years of solitary a 2 hour film, makes me wonder if Bronson/Peterson's life was meaningless after all.

Valhalla Rising

It's a brutal, winding tale of a viking vision quest gone mad with religious zealotry and psychedelic horrors very much akin to Aguirre Wrath of god and Apocalypse Now with the directorial sensibilities of Terrance Malick.

In other words, yes I liked this mind fuck, viking, primeval take on Heart of Darkeness. I have a soft spot in my heart for beautiful slow shots juxtaposed against gruesome viking battles, which are then compromised by hallucinatory nightmarish dream sequences. Sure you can make the argument that Refn is just wanking off in a post modern fool kind of way...but that's just like your opinion man.


First off let me say I'm a fan of Richard Ayoade. He plays Moss in The IT Crowd.

Submarine is one of those films you watch the previews for and know your going to like and hope that when you finally see it that it's doesn't play into all the bad things that could have made it more of a genre rip off than a sincere story telling effort.

Submarine, I think, in different hands could have come off as a hollow, pretentious Wes Anderson wannabe film. But here, Ayoade handles everything with a care and craftsmanship that doesn't make the film just a mimicry of the quirky, dry humor and flawed characters that Wes Anderson perfected.

Overall, it's an often humorous story of teen angst, awkwardness and anxiety. Essentially it's a coming of age story but manages to cover his parents broken marriage and his quest to reunite them. It really resembles the plot of the Squid and the Whale, only waaaay less depressing and uncomfortable (mom divorcing dad, possibly finding love, dads a teacher, kids trying to cope and reunite them, set in the 80's etc).


Dororo was a bit overly long and slightly tedious but I understand it had to pack half of an entire manga series into one film. That manga was written by the illustrious Osamu Tezuka.

The story itself was very interesting and possibly worth the price of admission. It's just the downside was the wooden or bad acting, lack of chemistry between the actors and very dated/ugly CGI.

You almost can't go wrong with a guy that has a demon killing sword for an arm though.


Slapstick aside, this film wasn't bad. Maybe it was Kenneth Branagh's Shakespearean touch, or Natalie Portman's exquisite features. Could have been Hemsworth's biceps. I'm not too sure. But there was enough glue to hold it together, barely.

The pace was fast, never boring. But the scope of the film was utterly small. Which might be good for an origin film. It introduced us to the characters and all that tiddle. The problem was the action sequences weren't that exciting, and they were either too short or missed their mark. The chemistry just wasn't there between Portman and Hemsworth, no matter how hard the film forced it on us. And the characters themselves were either not beleivable (Portman ) or one dimensional (Hemsworth), with Loki (Hiddleson ) doing most of the heavy lifting. And he could have very well been the best part.


Thematically boring, poorly written, pretentious, overwrought, ridiculous, cliche-ridden, ludicrous, unbelievable drivel that you will wish you could not only stop time but go back in time and stop yourself from watching this. Oh but looked good. Great cinematography, lighting etc. And that may be just enough of a pretty coating to fool some people.

But it's a misplaced, juvenile critique of an uninteresting character and an illogical premise. Take the base of the story: the narrator/protagonist claims to not having slept in weeks, so he has eight extra hours a day. Yet he shows no physical or mental signs of chronic insomnia (a la The Machinist). The worst that happens to him: he eats a lot of candy and gets a graveyard shift job.

The other characters seem more like caricatures. The events actually feeel embellished or made up in a hokey, cheezy way. I have worked retail, even graveyard shift and have better, more entertaining stories than this. Much ado about nothing. Also there was no chemistry between the characters and no redeeming qualities about the protagonist. You don't feel for him or empathize with his seemingly shallow relationships. There point.

There was some slightly perverted gratuitous nudity. Which can be a plus with this film.

The Game
The Game(1997)

What a great looking piece of preposterous nonsense. Great atmosphere and a nice pace can't save this film from it's utterly ridiculous ending. The farcicality of the whole story just kept increasing exponentially with every passing event. I'm not exactly quite sure when this thing jumped the shark. But by the end, it was impossible to suspend my disbelief. Also despite what reviewers say, the story arch is completely predictable once you know the main premise.


Sonatine is the yakuza film equivalent of japanese modern architecture. It's minimal, practical, sparse, beautiful, peculiar, thoughtful, and at times inventive. The narrative is very slow with occasional moments of extreme violence. But it's take on the gangland violence is cold and very matter-of-fact which exacerbates the existential nature of the film without being too overtly heavy handed ( as opposed to doing it with dialogue ).

Now Kitano does have an agenda here. He's establishing a style, a very anti-hollywood style. And at times it might not feel entirely genuine ( such as the scene where a yakuza man gets offed and Murakawa ( Kitano ) and his girl friend just stare into the abyss, sans any type of normal reaction, supposedly soo deep in their existential angst that they can't bother to react or are too apathetic to.

But despite a few of these moments, the film wins by focusing on the frail, candid and odd beginnings of relationships that Murakawa is building here on what he seems to think is his last mission as a gangster.

The Keep
The Keep(1983)

Michael Mann's second film and one of his most interesting. It's definitely his only attempt at art house horror or period piece horror / mystery....are those genres?

What is done successfully here is making an interesting atmospheric film with decent acting on a low budget. The cinematography is worth the price of admission alone. It's just permeated by gorgeously framed shots. The acting was ok given the dialogue can be cliche, but by far the only stand out was Gabriel Byrne. Scott Glenn's Glaeken Trismegestus was mysterious for sure....a bit too mysterious..we never get an explanation as to why he is there at all besides to battle the nazi killing demon. It felt like a substantial part of the story was missing. Especially the final battle....which seems very underdeveloped.

Some of the special effects are really great though, and have an element of craftsmanship about them, which I'll attribute to the cinematographer. A plus for me was the score by Tangerine Dream. It dates the film but it's mood setting nevertheless.

One biiiig note, the sound editing on here is worse than a dubbed B-rated Kung-Fu movie from the 70's. The worst part is the contrast between sound effects and dialogue. At times some words will feel softer than a whisper and you will turn up the volume to hear the conversation and then BOOOM and creepy sound effect blows you ear drums. Oh you will be riding that volume button.

Passion Play
Passion Play(2011)

Passion Play. Great cast. Horrible film. Inane story. The old :An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge thing. well probably. It's nonsensical at best and not in a David lynch kind of way but in a film student, my first story, shallow but inspired kind of way. Mickey and Megan have zero chemistry and probably less believability as their respective characters.

The pluses: Megan Fox is great looking and Bill Murray gives it his 89%.

The Man Who Wasn't There

It's hard to describe this movie. It felt like a warm summer night breeze meandering it's way through an open window, swimming through the hallway and ever so gently rustling the curtains in the living room on it's way out of an open screen door. It's a gentle thing.

And I'll end the poetic nonsense there. You can't hate this film but you also can't love it. It's like water in a way that it can be anything, light and heavy, clear and murky. You watch it feeling like it doesn't have an end, at least not one that you can predict. But the Coen's keep you interested, through beautiful lighting, noirish storytelling and an attachment to the wonderfully detached Ed Crane. And obviously the emotionally distant Ed Crane creates a discord between the viewers involvement in the story. But that's exactly what the Coen's wanted, even if it's not the best decision, it was still on purpose. I think what actually helps keep interest is how perfectly the actors and the Coen's caricature what our vision of the 40's are. It retains that feeling of nostalgia but with all the visceral realism of modern cinema.

It's definitely worth watching once, though you might forget it like that breeze through your window last summer.

The Last Circus

It's like Tim Burton on bath salts.

The brutality and absurdity of this film seemed to grow exponentially with every passing minute. We have explicit sex scenes, brutal clowns, civil wars, unrequited love, machetes and machine guns all done with a nightmarish, woozy, gritty touch.

I know the method to this madness lies within some metaphor about the Spanish Civil War...but you don't have to get into all that to enjoy this might help understand it.

The Host
The Host(2007)

One of the best first acts in a monster movie I have seen in a long time.....and somehow it just trails off from there into a horrible, pretentious, poorly written, often ridiculous piece of cinema.

It really seems as if the writers were making it up as they went along. The pace was inexplicably boring. Yes, boring, not something you want in your monster movie. Then there were scenes that made little sense and defied any logic at all. These scenes helped pick away at the any suspension of disbelief I had. It was odd that even in the beginning they fought with a giant, fanged monster, with no regard to personal safety or illustrations of fear.

The main character was impossible to relate to or root for. In fact, every character was a fool, loser, douche and couldn't do something right to literally save their own lives....well until the end when all of a sudden, somehow, their powers combined, with that of a random homeless person, to ultimately

Not to mention all the supposed "hidden meanings"....the monster is a symbol for western imperialism....really? and the blood is black because President Bush wanted oil?........ oh yeah. The director did a great job of hiding these things because honestly no one, no one outside of his circle would ever get those implications. Its not possible. It really isn't. Obviously I'm not korean. But nothing in this film drove me to analyze it that deeply. And the monsters ultimate end, preposterous.

On a different note, the cinematography was excellent. 2 stars for that.

The Horde (La Horde)

All 30% go to Eriq Ebouaney for doing a decent job. -70% for a hilariously thick headed group of 'survivors', numerous plot holes, and ridiculously acting "zombies" or "demons" or whatever those things were. I could not suspend my disbelief....not because of the zombies....but because of the horrible storyline.

Absolutely do not waste your time on this garbage. It lures you in for the first 20 mins and then tells you that you are not, in fact, going to disneyland....but to santas village.

And mind you I have watched Dead or Alive and this is barely better than that.

District 9
District 9(2009)

It took me two years to get around to this film. But I'm glad I did.

I would be hesitant to categorize it as a sci-fi film, but the aliens are hard to ignore. It's just this film can transcend that because it has some message. It's that we all are all aliens?....idk...well anyway mindless killing and hate are never a good thing and more than likely steeped in ignorance. Ok ok, it's about Speciesism...and probably the first feature film to be based on the topic. Or maybe not, after all, we had Free Willy.

The pace was supremely excellent, and the set up (documentary style 1st third) worked really well. The special effects were good, but I did sense some phoniness. For the budget, this film came out awesome.

The art direction was probably a high point. Most of the designs were really cool, from the aliens to the mothership to the weapons...just great.

I loved how the protagonist doesn't have a redeeming bone in his nerdy body until the last third of the film. You have no real reason to root for him. You're really rooting for the 'prawns'. And in that way it's slightly ham-fisted against big weapons manufacturers and blood thirsty soldiers.....but who cares those people are probably assholes anyway.

The cinematography was well enough but just blends with most big budget film styles. Nothing in particular stood out, good or bad. Same with the score. But those aren't minuses. They just aren't pluses either.

And dammit I'm stilll waiting for District 10.

Sartana's Here...Trade Your Pistol for a Coffin

This film was 90% garbage and 10% wasted good ideas. Firstly, the production was horrible. It looked like the budget was $10,000 bucks and very well should have been. Everything looked pretty cheap. The cinematography was invariably horrible and the gunfights were random and nonsensical. Now there were some redeeming factors in the wildly odd gunfights, but mostly they came off as obscurely stupid (gun in bread loaf)...

George Hilton couldn't hold a candle to Garko's Sartana. While Garko came off as calm, cool, sly and invincible. Hilton was just a douche-bag, cocky and pedestrian. His wit was MIA. Now this is mostly the writers fault, but definitely some of the blame is to be awarded to Hilton.

The best part of the film was the fabulously gay Sabbath (played by Charles Southwood). His eccentric outfit was complete with white parasol. Good thing he kicks ass with a rifle. He was very funny and the best part of the whole film.

Overall, it's only for very very hardcore spaghetti western fans. Stay away, you'll never get that hour or so of your life back.

Se incontri Sartana prega per la tua morte (If You Meet Sartana Pray for Your Death)

Spaghetti Western check list:

Double cross? Bundles and bundles of them. So much so you will have no idea whats going on...but thats ok.

Anti-hero? Yes, it definitely has a cool, sharp dressed anti-hero with some cool weapons. Garko is one bad ass dude. He's a card shark. A sharpshooter with his rifle and has a little....trick up his sleeve.

Body count? Decent.

Mexicans? Oh yes. El Jefe is the great Fernando Sancho, who plays a mexican bandit in a good amount of spaghetti westerns and probably every film he was in.

Two timing hell cat? Yes, it's got one.

Coffin full of gold? Double check.

Klaus Kinski? Definitely. His angular face is a welcome addition to any film. And he's wonderfully creepy here.

Other? Some very snazzy cinematography is going on as well. Also even though the film was semi-convoluted, it still flowed pretty well and kept me interested. Kudos to Gianfranco Parolini the director, he made on entertaining film. He was also the man behind the similarly named Sabata trilogy.

Django il bastardo (Django the Bastard) (Stranger's Gundown) (The Strangers Gundown)

So it's a Django knock off. One of those Django clones. That alone gave me some preconceptions about this film which happened to be totally wrong.

This film would probably be better of having nothing to do with the Django name. It could stand alone without any ties to Django...and it practically doesn't have any, save for the name of the character.

This dude is really a badass. The film begins with him dropping a cross with a villains name on it and the date. His MO, tell you exactly when your gonna die and make it happen.

I like this guy. He's peculiarly thin, but still tough, has a beard and practically haunts the films antagonist. Also par for the course is his dark get up complete with poncho.

Oh did I mention it has slight horror qualities. Yeah, he's presumed back from the dead, and appears in walls of smoke and darkness...yes this is cool. The film is practically his killing spree. Not really any gore but a less spiritual version of High Plains Drifter...with a bit more spaghetti thrown in.

Il Cieco
Il Cieco(1971)

If I got anything from this film it's that blind people can be assholes too.

This was a very entertaining piece of low brow western cinema. The premise itself being pretty darn low: a blind cowboy loses his 'cargo' to a band of rapist dirty mexican two timing bandits....not so bad you say?...well that 'cargo' happens to be 50 gorgeous women who have been betrothed to some miners in some Podunk town in the good ol' USA, by mail order of course. Little mention of how the women came to 'meet' the miners or what the situation was, one can only assume that the women will be ravaged by their 'husbands' just as they were by the mexicans.

Again feminists need not apply, and probably none will...what femenist watches some early 70's Euro-Western starring Ringo Starr?

To the nitty gritty: The movie was fairly well acted, this is my first Tony Anthony film and it surely won't be my last. He has some mojo for sure....not your usual tough guy mojo though. He gets beat pretty bad, but always somehow manages to come out ok. But I'm reluctant to rank him up there with the likes of Zatoichi. Ringo is actually not bad as the bandit leaders brother. Magda Konopka, who plays their sister, could have been the hottest of all 50+ women in the film. There was also some hardcore over acting done by Raf Baldassarre as the Mexican army general.

Overall the story basically consisted of the Blindman and his amazing horse, losing the women, getting beat up, finding the women, getting beat up and then losing them only to get them back....repeat a few more times. Along the way we laugh at his jokes, cringe at some of his antics, and watch women get treated like cattle. Tony comes across as really determined, and in effect sometimes seems like he's being an ass, but this is offset by the fact that he is blind and does appropriately get pummeled pretty good through out the film.

I'd ultimately say it's worth a watch if you into the genre.


Hands down one of the best spaghetti westerns ever made. It has everything, action, women, more action, anti-hero, machine guns, a pile of bodies that'd make any serial killer bow down with respect, bleak settings, red masked men and evil Mexicans.

Hell, this film starts out with double cross. And of course there are two warring groups of bandits. While all the elements are seemingly ripped from other spaghetti westerns, somehow it does everything right. Nero is awesome as Django. The beard and Union army pants round out his perfectly dark anti-hero appearance. With his smoke firmly placed in mouth, and silent tough guy persona, you can't help but to root for him. Corbucci does an excellent job of turning Django into some kind of mythical figure. Did I mention he also hauls around a coffin? Just pulls it along with a rope. Bad-ass.

The movie flows well, doesn't really slow down as Django double and triple crosses the various goons and villains. There are also some awesomely iconic scenes and some horrible nonsensical violence (Mexican skeet shooting?). Surprisingly this film is well shot. The close-ups are amazing.

So while the story wasn't über was crafted well. This film is about craftsmanship, setting, characters and appealing to the side of us that wants to punch our boss in the face. The anti-hero. If you're into the genre...definitely buy this.

Blue Velvet
Blue Velvet(1986)

I'm not sure if there is something wrong with me, but I didn't find this film to be as strange or as good as it has been made out to be. That in mind though, it is definitely worth watching if only to experience Dennis Hopper throwing everything he's got (and convincingly so) into lines like: "Baby wants to fuck. Get ready to fuck. You fuckering fuckers. You fucker." and "Let's FUCK! I'll fuck anything that moves!"

I think the overall story and the performances here make all the difference. Dennis Hopper gave it his all delivering pretty odd and sometimes horrendous lines. Laura Dern was surprisingly great and brought a ton of depth to perhaps a semi-shallow character. Rossellini just about pulled off the severely damaged, mentally ill masochist that was Dorothy Valens. I think she had just enough awkwardness to make it work.

In my opinion, though sometimes strong, Kyle Maclachlan might have been a weak link. I'm not sure if anyone could handle what the script threw at him. He definitely gave it a valiant effort. The tender spot here were just some of the social interactions were bland, and seemed superficial. Like Lynch was writing what he thought people would say to each other in a perfect world or something. One actor that irked me was Sandy's father, his acting was so bad and dialogue so stiff, I thought he was being sarcastic the whole time. I was expecting a twist in the story that ,upon further realization, never crossed Lynch's mind. The dialogue actually felt amateurish at times and reminded me of an after school special.

Now I don't know if that's what he was going for but that's what I felt. I mean Heineken....what was up with that? Somehow all this was offset by this dream like feeling which is what makes this film hold up even now. Lynch's penchant for throwing these almost cheesy but perhaps out of place meanderings brings that nice 'what the hell?' reaction. I like that. But it almost seems like he indulges these sometimes juvenile art student gimmicks (ie. Robin story and the ending).

There definitely some odd scenes involved. And actually some great memorable moments. And that stands for something. I think the overall story and themes are good. Just maybe needed a bit of polishing.

Youth of the Beast (The Brute) (Yajû no seishun)

The disjointedness is only offset by huge amounts of badass.

This thing has style, crazy style. And ,as some more street than myself would say, SWAGGER. Chipmunk cheeks Shishido kicks some ass here, this amount of invincibility has only been achieved by mostly bearded men and Bruce Lee of course.

Suzuki hit the nail on the head with Youth of the Beast. It starts strong and keeps the train riding on the rails until the ending twist. Not all unsurprising but a pretty decent twist nonetheless.

A lot of cool things are included here; torture, cat tonguing, sadism, inventive upside down fighting, great one-liners, drug use. And this yakuza film definitely feels like the precursor to stuff like Ichi the Killer. Another boon is a handful of trippy sequences, druggie hazes, odd yellow wind storms....good stuff. Perhaps it's not as visually violent and sexual as Ichi the Killer, but it's close, more so if you consider the time in which it was released (censorship).

Just overall, it feels like one nice ride. The story was easy to follow, especially if you have seen Yojimbo (hint: loner plays two gangs against each other). Suzuki is at the apex of his game, and chipmunk cheeks Shishido plays a very good anti-hero. You empathize with him and want him to win. It's most definitely a 'guys' movie if there ever was one, particularly because the female characters were either weak, whores or drug addicts, and they were all beaten regardless.

Popiól i diament (Ashes and Diamonds)

I had not seen the previous two films and I seriously wished I had...or even just paid attention in history class or something. I had little idea of what was happening politically in Poland during WW2, I did get up to speed but perhaps didn't need to know the specifics as this film could be about any uprising or civil war.

The reason I say that is partially a result of the plot being based on the decisions of one man, in life and in love. Zbigniew Cybulski did a great job as the formerly cool and calculating assassin. Eva Krzyewska was very gorgeous (good job Poland) and it was easy to see how she could tame even the most savage of beasts. Her performance was really natural, just her facial expressions alone conveyed a lot.

This is not an action film or perhaps even a thriller. It's a drama. Though there were a few humorous parts. The cinematography was excellent. Really, some beautiful and memorable shots all in lit amazingly, black and white goooodness. Thats probably what elevated this film to a high degree. It's treated really as a piece of art in places (the ending as well).

Overall, it's a film with a strong anti-war/anti-politics message with some superb shots, and slightly depressing story presented with a real handle on metaphor and beauty.

Tokyo Drifter

And it was all a dream.

errrr....In this case, that type of ending would have actually made the film better.

I can sum this film up in a few phrases: horrible, horrible editing, cool suits, decent action, oddly lit yet beautiful scenes, some great ideas, no story or character development, no real characters at all, a ton of caricature.

The horrible editing and odd pacing led to a probably totally unintentional dreamy aspect of this film. Also the action scenes were odd, people would get killed or shot then a hard cut to somewhere else completely with the same characters...only they weren't dead, just shot in the hand and they're running or something else retarded. A lot of the scenes really were just fragments.

I liked Watari as the anti-hero, he had a good spark in his eye. But Seijun Suzuki has done better.

30 Days of Night

Oh man, bought this because I have a simple vampire fascination. I know, most vampire movies are lame as all hell, poorly written/acted and a lot are straight to dvd cliche ridden drivel.

This one had a slight and effective twist. Yes, this entire town is above the arctic circle and has to endure 30 days of straight darkness. The vampires then come down to feed (rather haphazardly and without care) to their hearts content.

That was one thing that bothered me, the vampires seemed to waste a lot of food within the first few minutes. All I could think in the overhead blood pillage scene ,where we see quite a few of the townspeople getting decimated, was are they gonna have enough people to last a whole month? Turns out they didn't really have to, the dang movie skipped from Day 7 to Day 27...uh really. 20 days, of what? thats like 67% of the title...we get nothing.

A few more qualms: why do the vamps shriek soo much here?? why? it's irritating and seems to serve no purpose.

Why do they not run after Eben when they flipped his car? They just stand in a circle and stare at him as he runs away.

Does there always have to be an idiot in the group of survivors? The one guy who decides that running into the street and yelling "Daaaddd!" at the top of his lungs is a good idea.

Why do the survivors run through the middle of the road all the time? aren't they trying to lay low?

Again, what was the point of the UV light scene? It accomplished nothing at all, and also the same thing played out when Beau went on his tractor rampage....why? again, no one escaped because of it. In fact none of their ploys to distract the vampires served any logical purpose or resulted in anything beneficial. Even Eben's in final gamble, Stella doesn't run away. Why? And where did all those townspeople come from in the end? From the buildings engulfed in flames?

Why not go to the Utilador thingy earlier? It was like 100 yards took them 20 days to decide to walk there...with no cover...

I'm sure there are more. But I found myself questioning a lot of the actions of the characters. And yes, the characters ended up being very 1 dimensional. Hartnet does a decent job, but nothing to write home about. Ben foster is a standout again, and yet again the psychopath.

On the plus side, the action was great. The effects were pretty sweet and there was a nice deal of tension in the air. The atmosphere was definitely a boon. I think the feel was right....

I have soft spot for vampire flicks though.

Jigoku (The Sinners of Hell)

Equal parts bold, daring and confusing, this film has some hypnotizing effect over the viewer. Perhaps it's a result of the polarizing imagery and incredible cinematography. I loved the way some of these scenes were shot and framed. Some of the angles feel crazy at first but prove to be memorable in conjunction with the setting and subjects.

It was like a woozy nightmare. I can't really put it to words, but Shiro's decent into hell is one crazy dream-like ride. Some parts reminded me of the old Vampyr film, where the director created the impression of an out of body experience in the coffin scene. Pretty much this whole film felt like it was one long astral projection in a lucid dream of the protagonist. I felt bad for him, like "What? More, man...?" His life went from the top of mount fuji bliss to the bottom of hell disparity and death. The first half of the film deals with life and death and the second half focuses on this chaotic horrible afterlife. The only downer is that the first half's melodrama knob was turned up to 10, it becomes borderline implausible....and then the question begins to worm it's way in..."When exactly does Hell begin for Shiro?"

The many beautiful scenes however are offset by some of the more horrific parts of the film. The hell scenes are 1 part alluring, 1 part mesmerizing, 1 part grotesque and the rest is mostly confusing. Did I mention the title sequence is perhaps one of the best I have ever seen in my whole life? It was pretty much a classy, vintage erotic montage of titles and Robert Brownjohn eat your heart out.

In the end a very landmark film for me, if even the story seems a bit implausible and over the top. Great visuals, amazing feel, obscure happenings and a small aura of eroticism all combine for a memorable viewing experience and make this film pretty darn unique.


Well we all know now that Pixar can make a movie about anything. A French rat who happens to be a chef and controls a dude with his hair....ok. Oh and it's funny, and interesting and doesn't even disgust people who don't eat meat. Nice.

I was unsure about Patton Oswald being a main voice, but the story shone through. It had a great message, or perhaps messages. The characters for the most part were likable. Not entirely likable in the case of Linguini. He seemed kind of like an asshole (pardon my French}. But he had good situational humor. I think the entire message was about being anything you want, or being who you are or something about 'being'.

The Town
The Town(2010)

I think 'well done' is the phrase that best suits this film. I almost forgive Ben Affleck for marrying J.Lo.

It's just a well made heist film. Reminiscent of Heat, but not as good, or entertaining, but it paints the characters in a similar way. The the main cop(traditional good guy) is not so good. And the robber(traditional bad guy) is not so bad. Seeeee how they did that. They switched it up. oh and the hostage falls in love with the kidnapper.....seee how that works...I'm sure that has never been done before....

Anyway despite all that, it managed to keep my attention. It also managed to be well acted, led by the somehow always good Jeremy Renner (this guy is intense). Affleck managed to do well, subtly so. His direction I can only describe as 'competent'. It was well done, well made. Believable dialogue, characters and settings. I will say Hamm makes a good asshole. I do like how he was illustrated as unchanging, and Afflecks McRay actually had some growing to do. They were polar opposites and that is almost always entertaining.

Detroit Metal City

Really great film that manages to have a scene where the main character screams 'fuck' 500 times and not offend anyone. Oh yeah and he also says he's a 'rape machine' I so bad for laughing at that?

This film is like all bark and no bite, but that's somehow a good thing here. It had an innocence about the story that felt really wholesome, so much so that even when it was trying to be repulsive or shocking, it was almost the opposite.

I laughed a lot despite the language/culture difference (subtitles). I think the story spans culture. It doesn't matter. Also even thought the film is about metal music, it's not limited by that. I would actually watch this movie with my mom and I'd bet she laugh her ass off.

Sword of the Beast

I think. I loved this one. It started out in the middle of a sexual rendezvous in a field, and I thought I was watching another Onibaba.

But although this film does have it's share of rapes, sexual assaults, and all around lusty sexual moments....(not too many, but more than perhaps the average film today), it's focus is on pure animal violence or the perception of such compared to the "honorable" samurai murders and violence that their code permits or simply chooses to turn a blind eye to, is a diatribe I can support.

Though, that last paragraph ,in itself, is a mouthful and a paragraphful. I do like the focus of the film, it's deeply rooted and feels worth exploring. It exposes the ideal samurai that we all imagine when we think of the word or culture in a different light.

On the film itself, it seems to start in the middle of something and never fully fleshes out the main characters history or back story, but it does complete him enough through the main story for us to identify with him and his quest. The fight scenes are pretty great, Yuuki takes on 20 + men at a time, and he does so with a sense of realism and survival. The cinematography was pretty good, not spectacular but not bad and was exceptional in some action sequences.

What I also liked was the palpable feeling of impending death. I know that sounds morbid but it kept me interested. The husband/wife relationship between Yamane and was some good drama as well.

I would assert that the deep story and a handful of great action scenes put this one at the higher end of the spectrum of samurai film.

Samurai Spy
Samurai Spy(1965)

OOOOhhhhh gooodie, I'm the first bastard to review this thing.

Ok I'll make it good. I have to be honest here, and say that I was desperately lost on the plot within the first 10 mins. Yeah, it was like one of those intros where they tell you a back history of an ancient war, with names of generals, lords, shoguns; all of which you will not remember, and you'll be asking yourself who was who and who fought for what within a few seconds.

On top of that, it started slow. I was almost bored. Then something happened and the film started playing in a familiar fashion. The hero was almost invincible, and the villain was the same. They had stare downs and met and talked, philosophized and kept a cordial respect of each others power.There were a dozen action scenes with ninjas and smoke and blood baths. Some fight scenes were meh, some were great, and some were just good ideas not executed perfectly. I suppose this could be the precursor to stylized ninja movies. And in that respect I liked it.

Sometimes the plot would get in the way, but it did get better and more noir-ish, basically becoming a 'Whodunit' with ninjas and samurai. Which I liked very much.

The ending was just about laughably ridiculous like they tacked something on there in the 11th hour of filming...I don't know. But still, definitely worth watching if you are a fan of the genre.

Spoorloos (The Vanishing)

Nice and creepy thriller that portrays kidnap and murder and murderers very bluntly. It lays the cards on the table and makes no excuses or sleight of hand. I like that. I like that it illustrates the murderer as a complex person, with a life and history. The film doesn't portray him as total darkness although he very well might be. But what we see is a fully fleshed out life.

The pacing was very good. We're in search for answers just as the protagonist Rex is. And although we find some of them before he does, it doesn't detract from the story and it definitely adds to the tension and perhaps suspense.

What this film does well, is put you in Rex' shoes as well as give you insight as to how everything happened the way it did. It fills the gaps pretty satisfyingly, but I was still searching for answers at the end. Which I suppose is good.

Do yourself a favor and do not look up the ending before you see this film. It was a great question mark/exclamation point to the story. You will be yelling at the screen like I was. All in all it was more Edgar Allen Poe than Saw VI, so if you're looking for gore etc...look elsewhere.

Såsom i en Spegel (Through A Glass Darkly)

I think initially this film struck me as powerful, horrifying, intriguing and disturbing. The viewer is as hypnotized by Karin's(Harriet Andersson) decent into madness as her family is. We are just spectators in this horrible transformation. Perhaps it is like looking through a glass darkly. Through those ancient mirrors made of metal, we all are darker when we truly see ourselves. But the film is even deeper than madness. It's hard for me to put into words what it is.

It's seems an affront on god, but what Bergman film isn't (or at least question what people think god is). This one especially painted a grim picture of god. When Karin finally seems him, she retreats in screams and horror. Bergman asserting god isn't what he/she's made out to be, perhaps it's even a monster. Perhaps it's chaos. Obviously Karin was lost, between two worlds as she says. Her spiritual world, behind the wallpaper is one of visceral warmth and sensuality....I don't know why. She seems to orgasm at one point while in this world waiting for god.

She also seduces her own brother resulting in the infamous "incestuous clinch" read into it however you want. I'm not sure why Bergman so desires to dabble in the taboo. The scene did prove how deeply disturbed Karin was and how it affected the people around her...but perhaps that could have been done another way. There was so much going on for a film with basically little as far as plot is concerned.

I loved the play the Karin and Minus put on for their father. It mirrored the story and alluded to what was to come. It felt foreign and genuine to me. Bergman was also amazing at capturing Karin's dementia in a truly terrifying yet simple way. The camera work was especially great, amazing close ups, great lighting, and some awesome shots were the camera lingered as characters moved in and out of the frame (I think he had a new cinematographer in this one).

My qualms with the film were with some of the relationships. The brother/sister relationship that he painted felt very much like a boyfriend/ girlfriend relationship. There was all to much sexual frustration and flirtations between the two ( and even allusions like the spilled milk scene). Minus was illustrated as basically the object of her seduction, too full of lust and angst to resist his sisters temptations. And as good as Bjornstrand is, the father didn't seem too believable. But perhaps that was because he truly was estranged from his family.

All in all, you will not soon forget this film, and with it's flaws it is still a very good film. It will be burned in your cranium like a water mark on your brain. In the least for how truly disturbing it is. Once it gets going you will be enthralled by it, waiting to see what happens next and just how far Karin will descend. Oh...and god is love.

Kiru (Kill)
Kiru (Kill)(1968)

I gotta say that Nakadai is probably on my top 5 actors list of all time. He's so enjoyable in this. I love how he isn't afraid to be the butt of the joke. In that regard, he reminds me of Johnny Depp. But Nakadai has way more depth in general, he can do anything.

Back to the film at hand: I liked the beginning, and the parody elements. But the story overall was too convoluted to catch any real steam. The only things driving it forward were Nakadai and the friendship that forms between the main characters. I literally Lol'd ,as they say, on a few parts.

Also I know it was probably a parody, maybe, perhaps of Sanjuro because the villain was the exact same actor, the story line was also insanely similar. They were both based off the same source material but I just don't see why it has to be a parody as opposed to a different interpretation. Eh either way it didn't work out great, an average film albeit a pretty good looking one with a few cool elements and some funny moments. Was a little on the long side at 2 hours.

I would only refer it to hardcore cine-files and aficionados of samurai films. I would however recommend the tribal drum soundtrack....nice, reminded me of the score to Onibaba.

Wild Strawberries

Good yes. Best movie ever....well.

It's surprisingly deep for a film that is essentially about a an old man taking a car ride and having some dreams. But I should come to expect deep when watching Bergman. This film to me was about of course, life, death, existentialism, the existence of god (common Bergman so far) and our being for ourselves and of course others.

I'm always amazed how he comes out with these stories though. They seem to keep my attention when they shouldn't. Bergman was an innovator in the way stories are told on the screen, they feel so natural. His touch is very sophisticated. But maybe it's the black and white, it's mesmerizing. It could also be the babe combo of Bibi Andersson and Ingrid Thulin....wa wa wee wa.

I think all the actors did a fine job. I believe that Bergman's strength is the conviction of his actors and the way his stories so effortlessly unfold like onions. This one felt like a road trip movie, which it was. I almost always like those because in film the characters tend to find themselves during those trips, which makes for entertaining cinema for the most part. This one in particular. I love how we see the relationships form on screen, and how subtle the story is tolf through the characters and not by beating us over the head or insulting our intelligence.

(List of road trip favorites off the top of my head: National Lampoons Vacation, Little Miss Sunshine, Sideways, 28 Days Later, Children of Men....well all of these are to some extent).

Being There
Being There(1979)

It's been a long time since I have been this perplexed. I mean it was a great film. I'm not quite sure what I just watched. I picked this one up blindly on a recommendation from a friend twice removed. In short, it's a film about a man who probably has the IQ of a carrot, and his adventure into the outside world for the first time.

I know I laughed a lot. I also felt fear, oddly enough. Fear that Chauncy would be found out, that he wouldn't survive. I suppose that shows I cared for the characters. This film was great because you really have no idea where this simpleton is going to take you. And in a way he's along for the ride as well.

Peter Sellers is a film legend though. A complete chameleon. He embodies the character of Chauncy. He definitely created this endearing child-like innocence in Chauncy. And Shirley Mclaine is a cougar in this one. Definitely one of Sellers best films and it's good to see him leave this world on a high note.

Overall, it's hard to describe. A very special film for sure. I would hate to relate it to Forrest Gump because it's better than that and more than that and perhaps a bit less than that. The story is similar but more realistic and at the same time somewhat unbelievable. Perhaps it's part dark comedy, part socio-political commentary and part magical. In the end, Chauncy can do no wrong, hell, he's even Christ-like. And did Chauncy pave the way for George W. Bush's presidency?

The Seventh Seal (Det Sjunde inseglet)

This film got inside my head. A dark worm. An existential inquisition. It punctures somewhere in your psyche. It's about a man playing chess with Death. Winner take all.

Along the way we learn about relationships, religious savagery, sheep mentality and maybe even love. But we aren't told, unfortunately, the meaning of life.

Max Von Sydow is a damn screen legend. And Gunnar Björnstrand (the squire) is pretty great as the devil on his shoulder...or better yet doubt in his mind. He is such a skeptic, but it provides for some great moments, even humorous ones. Oh, Can you get a better antagonist than Death himself? I don't think so. Great creepy job by Bengt Ekerot. And Bibi pretty is she? wow.

This is must see, some scenes are just plain ghostly, some, plain ghastly, and some mesmerizing. It might be worth it for the sadomasochist parade alone.

Ultimately though, it's the little things that killed the perfect rating for me. There were a few continuity errors and some gaffs that (I'm really picky these days) threw me out of the zone. They are pretty slight to be honest. Also some of the camera work didn't feel as advanced as it could have been.

Definitely a pretty great film overall. How does Bergman do it?

Batman Begins

Every once in a while there are a few extra fries at the bottom of the bag. This movie is that last french fry soaked in oil and salted to perfection, plus there is a packet of ketchup right down there next to it. You eat it sit back and ponder the meal as if it could have been your last. Yes, this movie is very very good.mmmmmm.....

very fresh

----originally written in 2006---damn you RT, just try to edit a rating and the thing re-posts it----

The Social Network


not much of a film, so my review matches.

probably the biggest film disappointment in the last couple years for me. Even bigger than Big Fish (recently reviewed) because I was actually looking forward to this one.

This is like a complete non-story, no character development, no depth at all, it felt like an phony incoherent diatribe. And I hate Zuckerberg. I've not liked him for years. So this should be up my alley, but it felt fake, like a polished turd of a story. There was no meat there, and whatever sinew that was left was largely over exaggerated to make the film seem unduly dramatic.

Again like Big Fish, it finished strong, but is that what is 'getting' everyone to give positive reviews. I almost wished they changed all the names, and companies, I feel as though because they used real, current figures that people take this as some based on a true story lifetime channel gospel like a bunch of thirty-something housewives.

The most beautiful scene was of course the rowboat scene. But other than that nothing seemed to stand out, even the 'award' winning soundtrack was close to forgettable. It suited the film, but wasn't amazing. (And I like Atticus Ross). The dialogue was neither witty nor deep. It could hardly hold my attention. The character relationships were shallow and hollow. For example: Eduardo and Zuckerberg...why were they friends? what was Zuckerberg thinking when he decided to cut ties with his "only" friend in such a cruel fashion?....yeah I got nothing too, that because the film doesn't tell us or show us or anything.

And lastly...why does Eisenberg play every character like they some form of Asperger's syndrome?


Romantic Comedy? Thriller? Fashion show? Adventure? Suspense? While all of Auderey's clothing was supplied by Givenchy, this film can be summed up as a Sus-venture-com-rom-er.

You cannot go wrong with Hepburn and Grant. This shit is classy. Like the Sartorialist kind of classy. Like that Euro classy, where they drink tea and eat venison and fennel pork loin. They sit at a river side cafe, and eat crackers and cheese that costs $20 a pound. It's creamy and slightly nutty but altogether has a taste that can only be described as 'cheesy'...the cheese, not the movie.

But also in this film you have a man with a hook hand, a corduroy suit wearing James Coburn and moustached Walter Matthau.

I'll say that when this film started I had no idea what I was getting into. And ultimately I was really satisfied with it, even though perhaps it turned out to be .0001% more romantic than thriller. But who's counting..right? There were some truly suspenseful moments as well as some truly hilarious ones. I don't know how Donen did it, balanced it all, I haven't really seen anything like it before. Imean you can have serious comedies, but suspenseful romantic comedies?

Overall worth a shot if you like rom-com's, or thrillers or adventure type films (not Indiana Jones type adventure but enough).

Double Indemnity

The high watermark for film noir. 1940's, black and white, murder and intrigue....sexual entrapment...lust...should I go on?

It starts with the protagonist narrating the story into this space tube (well it was a dictaphone...nifty little objects that record on wax cylinders). Obviously he begins spinning the web of the story, working his way forward to the present time.

It somehow kept me enthralled (yeah a big word) for it's entire running time despite it's perhaps pedestrian subject matter (insurance fraud). Perhaps that's because the actors made the characters so real. Stanwyck plays her quintessential black widow to MacMurray's easy fool/sucker very well.

Wilder gets right to it here, no nonsense, everything is just about perfectly placed and paced. The narration helps drive the story as well. And the film felt like it was just percolating in darkness. I'd say a definite must see for fans of the genre.

The Magnificent Seven

Great premise, nice story...too bad it was done better and more skillfully a few years earlier. Otherwise my rating might be higher for this. I love Westerns.

But I also love Kurosawa films. And I'm sure you all know he made a substantially better version of this film starring a maniacal and hilarious Toshiro Mihune and good ol' fishlips (I say that with a lot of respect) Takashi Shimura.

But back to Mag7 as I call it. I'll say it does do a few things in a great way. 1. Casting: I frickin' loved this motley crew and would have them back me up in a foxhole any day 2. Fleshed out villains: Eli Wallach's Calvera had a ton more depth than whoever the leader of the bandits was in Seven Samurai.

Now to some of the things that went wrong...why did they choose to meld Mihune's noble maniac peasant with Kimura's young inexperienced samurai? It just didn't mesh no matter how hard Buchholz tried, the rash Mihune parts just don't go with the pretty boy innocent parts of Kimura (the girl falling in love etc). Also this seemed to throw off McQueen's character's position in the group at first. It's hard not to look at this without thinking about Seven Samurai. I'm sure to someone who has not seen Kurosawa's 3 hour epic wouldn't mind these things.

One other thing that bugged me was the accents. Buchholz was playing a Mexican with a german accent, and of course Brynner's undefinable accent...just where is this "Chris" from?...well it was a bit more excusable and perhaps even added to his character's mystique. And most of the 'mexicans' spoke with horrible forced 'mexican' go along with their bad acting.

The deaths of some of the seven didn't feel as poignant as in Seven Samurai. That is perhaps due to the pacing of the film, one minute they were safe, the next we're in the final fire fight with nothing in between. There was little time for very much character development. In Kurosawa's film, the town was under constant siege, and this added to the frustration and even fear that the villagers and the viewer had. There is also an element of precise expertise in Seven Samurai, every scene felt carefully shot. There were also no memorable shots, no great scenes in The Magnificent Seven, nothing terrible...but just not beautiful.

All the main actors gave it their best though. I think they were really commendable and without them this film would not have worked. One last insight....was Brynner the Vin Diesel to McQueen's Paul Walker?

Big Fish
Big Fish(2003)

For me, this is a fail.

If you don't know, it's a film about a boy and his estranged father who weaves not strange enough to be interesting tales about himself....and his son's ability to cope with that on his father's death bed.

An ending alone does not make a film. This film felt flat from the beginning. It didn't give us reason or rhyme to believe in or like the central character. He seemed like a self centered prick with pathological narcissism and delusions of grandeur. His gee-whiz/aw shucks attitude seemed like a put on. Everything he does is to his own benefit, despite the detriment of others or perhaps in spite of it. He doesn't care. And we shouldn't care about him.

The stories themselves lack any true imagination. The whimsy felt massively forced. The laughs non-existent and vanilla. The stories are simply exaggerations of reality. It seems to me they sound better on paper which would mean Burton failed to capture them, which could be true. The other problem with the stories was that they revealed no mysteries of life, no moral compass, they just were. They weren't insightful or even funny. And then just went on and on and on, you were dying for the old man to just stop already, his only form of communication was through his ego....

One other problem is the accents. Everyone had a different southern accent, some falling in and out of them at will...I'm looking at you McGregor. Some people were just horrible actors....giant man, yes, you. The only one who was semi-convincing was Albert Finney, who was so good he almost made me like the old narcissistic a-hole of a character.

CGI also killed a lot of the imagination of the movie. It felt blatantly fake, and now, dated. I mean, a CGI fish....really.

There were however fleeting moments of something, I won't call it greatness, but maybe adequacy. The dance scene in the town of Spectre, the final scene with the ringmaster at the circus...I don't know why that creative energy couldn't have spread to the rest of the film. The ending was also well done, the best part by far of this film. You can breath a sigh of relief that after 2 hours the reason behind the entire film is finally revealed, but was it worth it?


"A detective attempts to recreate a woman in the image of his lost love."---this synopsis is ridiculous....

"An obsessed detective tries to cure his psychosis by digging even deeper into it."---maybe thats a bit better.

Truthfully 1/3 into this film I was desperately trying to figure out where this was going. The first half of the film was really like a bad trip, I mean he's just following this 'psychotic' woman, who just happens to be smoking hot. Ok so what guy wouldn't want to fall in love with her? Is she a ghost? Is she real? Is she really crazy? Ultimately Det. Scotty doesn't care and eventually I didn't either.

This film is about obsessive love, erotic infatuation and ruse gone wrong. Well, horribly wrong. I don't want to give too much away though because the ending is where it matters most.

There is some marvelous camera work here too. Of course including the memorable 'vertigo' shots. And some great scenes of note, the spinning, swirling, dream-like kiss that transcends time and space (in Judy's apt.) you'll know it when you see it.

All in all, the first half of the film is intriguing yet very slow paced. Meticulous if you will. It centers on the supernatural. The second half of the film heats up a bit and was more about the erotic obsession of Det. Scotty. The best demonstration of it since Onibaba (just not better or deeper than Onibaba). The ultimate cherry on top is the finale which will leave your mouth agape. I was staring at the screen

Great film in many ways, and is almost deeper than you can imagine (given the Carlotta storyline and how she basically haunts the entire film).

Spirited Away

Summary: Beautiful, enchanting, fascinating, profound film by Hayao Miyazaki.

Spirited Away is filled with seemingly boundless imagination. The cast of characters is a lineup of monsters and gods and faceless ones and things you would think no one could imagine and inexplicable beings so fleshed out that you wonder how on earth someone could have created them.

The plot is equally ginormous and fleshed out. Yet initially you have no clue how it's going to be played out. I mean after the first 10 mins, your just as lost as Chihiro. And there lies the adventure, the discovery, we are all in her place, marveling at the same sights, traversing this strange land full of fear and wonder. This is great film making.

And yet none of it is without a moral compass. A story to tell, yes, and all the while it educates us. Not in an overbearing way but in subtly, it's there, subliminally hoping to guide us in our 'real' lives. You see, the story MAY seem like one grandiose dream, the characters feel like unimaginable beasts conjured up in a haze on the way to oblivion.....but they're not, and it's not. Some of it is based on actuality, real life, the greedy workers, the no face who thinks he can buy anything, they represent us, or different facets of humanity and real life. Same goes for the 'polluted' river god, tarnished and ruined by humans. And also Hayao took a lot of the characters and themes from Japanese folklore, he was seeking to bring about a resurgence of Japanese tradition and sense of self.....(sigh), that was a lot of words and I apologize.

My amazing conclusion is that this film is very close to perfect, if not perfect, too bad perfection is unattainable. But a great, great coming of age film, filled with glorious imagination and beautiful story telling that will stand the test of time and be considered a classic for many years to come. Congrats to Miyazaki and Co.

Observe and Report

Consistently dark and hilarious film which can serve as a type of dowsing rod for how psychopathic your humor is...

I ,for one, must be bat shit crazy. Because I was laughing throughout the film. The word 'subversive' is thrown around in a lot of reviews but I don't find it that perverse. Maybe perhaps because I always have straddled the line between mean and funny, rude and hilarious but life is that way. Life is vague, the funny moments aren't always so clear cut. I laugh at the little things in life. And in this film a lot of the little things are very funny. And for that I may be a fool, but so be it, I like to enjoy life.

And yes, the protagonist is a demented, narcissistic, bi-polar seth rogan with a serious hero complex. His whole life view is skewed. Maybe, because I had worked in a mall for years and have a friend who wanted to be a cop and has a mean, rude, sense of humor which was probably a result of his borderline personality disorder...maybe all this stuff prepped me for Observe and Report. Or, possibly the film is just a very very very dark comedy and is actually funny.

I digress, though, right? The soundtrack was excellent by the way. Punk. Psych. More Punk. Fit the film extremely well.

It was well acted, except for Ray Liotta who seemed on the verge of laughing the entire time and Celia Weston who was hamming it up a bit too much as Ronnie's white trash(?) drunk mother, or she was just too perfect for the part, I still haven't decided. The only other thing that threw me off was Anna Faris' lack of commitment to the role, I mean she didn't take off her top in both of her sex scenes...really, c'mon Anna where's the dedication, the realism? There is no way someone is gonna bang you let you keep that brassiere on.

Overall a funny, odd, perhaps even quirky film. I could have done without that slo-mo schlong shot though. Ok, THAT was subversive. Ultimately, if you like dark humor, then this would be like a frickin treasure chest of laughs to you (whatever that means).


Very, very good film noir. It was a almost a slow starter, but pulls you in. JJ Gittes is so deep in it, that I felt overwhelmed, in a good way. The plot was an onion. So many layers and yet you just want Gittes to peel them all back.

Polanski lays it all out well enough. I'd say most of the kudos go to the screenwriter though. But Polanski's touch lends a lot of realism and grit. You don't doubt for a moment where you are or when.

Of course Jack is great in it, and reasonably so, the part was written for him. Faye is truly beautiful, and pulls off the emotionally and mentally broken Evelyn Mulwray very very well. Earned a best actress nod for it too.

John Huston, to me, seems like the only person capable of having the presence to pull off Noah Cross.

Whats funny is how part of the story is then played out in Polanski's real life a few years later...odd.

My only gripe is the ending. I don't want to spoil anything but I think it could have gone either way and Polanski wanted that ending and so it was. But it almost seems given the theme of the film, that, that ending was the only "right" one.

To Catch a Thief

Ok lemme set this straight. This film is a 70%'er. Yep, not 80%, but Grace Kelly's face gives it an extra 10% watch-ability. Plus Cary Grant is one stylish dude here. Oh yeah and Brigitte Auber is down right cute as hell.

Now for a Hitchcock film, this is mediocre. We all know he's capable of better. It was lacking a bit of polish and completely lacking in any of Hitchcock's trademark suspense. Some of the editing was meh. No amazing shots really, I can't think of one that stood out, whereas I can pull a few out for North by Northwest, Vertigo, and Rear Window. No scenes really stood out either, the chase scene through the winding mountain roads was nice but not amazing.

But, it was really nice to look at. Grace Kelly lights up the screen and the French Riveria in the 1950's just adds to that glamor and beauty. The cars were...well...beautiful too. I mean it just looked exotic and warm and amazing. Very escapist,um..because I'm not filthy rich and a cat burglar and couldn't possibly live in the south of France in the 1950's.

Cary Grant was great Grant. He's the ultimate guy, he's funny, sharp witted, rude, can say the wrong things but be rewarded handsomely for it. He's also a survivor, not a super bad ass but just does enough to survive. And did I mention he can wear an ascot and not look like a tool?

Overall, it's definitely worth your time, TCAT won't change the world, but will let you escape it for a good while.

A History of Violence

I felt very heavy after watching this. It hit me kind of like Viggo was hitting those mobsters. I know part of it appealed to the machismo in every guy. But the Cronenberg part of it, was obviously rife with sadness and confusion.

Now I will address a few gripes people had with this film: acting, fanciful action, not enough action etc. First, the acting by some of the characters was not great (the son in particular) but at other times it was really great ( Ed Harris). About the fanciful action, well, they started real enough, and yes got a bit less real but not completely unreasonable. Tertiary, the lack of action lent to the realness of the film if you want a fucking action movie go watch The Expendables. The writing, yes, was lacking in parts and seemed cliche or perhaps trite.

And now a special paragraph about the sex scene on the stairs....I thought it a mixture of lust, make-up sex, love and a good amount of kinkiness. Plus the other sex scenes that people thought weren't good for children or whatever...ok but busting someones face to mush is?

Overall I liked the film, hence the 77%. I liked the commentary on what is real for us and what is real for others, what we wish to be and what perhaps we are or have been. Existential in a way: our being for us and our being for others.

Jungfrukällan (The Virgin Spring)

I don't know if I've ever felt or seen the range of emotions that this film portrays. Loss, anger, guilt, remorse, vengeance, lust, rage, love, hatred, jealousy....this film is a roller coaster. A heavy ride, it weighs you down, lifts you up and then pulls you down again. There is a freedom and purity of the whole environment: actors, settings, dialogue that feels very very real. Bergman displays animal brutality here, and obsessive love, and almost everything that makes us human. I almost shed a tear at the end and the poignancy of the whole final act. I liked the use of music, well, laymen would say lack thereof but I'd beg to differ. All the music in the film, the little there was, was initiated by the characters, it was an element. Overall the film's linear, nothing fancy, yet is very close to perfect, the story itself is the centerpiece here and bergman frames and hangs it flawlessly.


Not entirely bad but definitely not as good as a lot of message boards and amazon ratings make it out to be.

I'll start with the things I like. The story is ok, I like the oddness of the settings, the dream world, and the elements of it. I like the premise. I like the idea of Ink himself. The story flows well, and some of the acting is ok. The screen faced guys are cool, very Jean-Pierre Jeunet-esque. Overall feel is kind of Sandman, which is good. A lot of the fighting was very passable, especially for a low budget indie.

Now the things I don't like, a lot of the costume design (the screen faced guys wardrobe, the story tellers costumes, the tape over the dudes eyes, ink's humongous fake looking nose). A good bit of the acting. Some of the plot seemed convoluted (the last 30 mins or so). I think some things needed to be fleshed out more in the world that was created. Of course overall the film looks cheap and rightly so. The effects range from pretty nice to not very good. The soundtrack is below average as well falling into cliche very easily.

Somehow the story got increasingly cheesy towards the end. It made me want to fast forward (don't worry I didn't). Gotta say though, I saw that coming. I don't see a lot of the chrisitanity that others see..but yes there are sort of angels and demons (polar good and bad sides), and a kind of purgatory, but it doesn't come off too preachy if much at all.

Ink wasn't bad, and for the budget it worked as probably best it could. A better fleshed out version with better acting and dialogue and effects could garner a higher score.

I would give it a positive 6.2 or so.

North by Northwest

This one gets you within the first few minutes and reveals itself like an onion. You just keep wanting more and the deeper it gets the more you are there with it. I love the fast talking dialogue and Cary grant is a pimp here. 1. great gray suit, 2. crop duster death scene, 3. getting laid on a train....this guy kicks ass....but I'm being superficial. Despite the spies and chasing and women, this film was pretty funny. The auction scene was hilarious. Hitchcock is a master and here he is in his element. It may not be his best film or smartest but it's a very worthwhile adventure.


I could tell you about how beautiful this movie is, in black and white splendor, with multiple camera angles from multiple cameras shot simultaneously, with the sunlight through the trees and the dyed black rain.

I could tell you how influential this film is, inspiring films such as Courage Under Fire and The Usual Suspects. Praised by critics and film makers and even sparking philosophical terms.

I could affirm to you the wonderful acting in the film, the wildly, berzerk Toshiro Mifune as the bandit or the sulky, frenzied, desperate Machiko Kyo as the samurai's wife.

Or I could possibly elaborate on a hundred other reasons as to why you should see this film...
But you know, I'm not going to.....because when I saw this film for the first time, I didn't know any of those things either, and I still enjoyed it immensely.

One Hour Photo

This felt kind of personal for me. I worked for over 2 years as a one hour photo-tech in a chain pharmacy store. A lot of the beginning of the film was pretty much my life at the time....and yes that's where the similarities end. The regular customers they describe, the 'seeing families grow up', the arguments with the machine techs over quality, cutting the negatives, giving free stuff when you messed up...all were very spot on. People get some very interesting photos developed...sometimes. But I digress.

Back to the critique: This film caught me by surprise, it was really creepy and I was seriously almost biting my nails during the final third. The pacing seemed slow at first but it was just establishing Sy's character and his relationship or lack there of with the Yorkins. Robin Williams was really great as the lonely, isolated, perhaps abused stalker that Sy was (similar to his role in insomnia). I felt sorry for him, more than afraid of him. I also loved the bit of sleuthing Sy did in the middle to get the film really going, that was a good spark that ignited the rest of the story.

I think Romanek did a great job capturing the job itself, the depth of Sy's character and perhaps what photos represent to us in general. There was some philosophy buried in there as well as suspense, which was unexpected. I like that Sy wasn't painted in one color, and was illustrated as someone who wasn't purely evil, but a product of a horrible childhood, misguided fantasies and loneliness. When his world implodes, not once but twice he finally breaks.

Fire and Ice
Fire and Ice(1983)

Barbarian action at it's best. This is how the rotoscoping should look. No weird silouhettes, or just pure live action with a color overlay. And as far as babes go, Teegra is THE hottest animated chick ever, who did they rotoscope for her??geezus.

Don't get me wrong, it's mindless with a super linear storyline. But just a fun adventure. Batma...I mean Dark Wolf makes it interesting too...he is such a bad ass. You just know he will save the main pretty boy in any predicament. And man o man Nekron was one of those evil, powerful, demented gays who can control ice and your body with his mind (like Anderson Cooper). Somehow this reminded me of Avatar (not the gay part but the story). Which is odd because in Bakshi's Wizards the main character is named Avatar. Cameron..whats going on here?

Pretty much only for animation dorks, people who like barbarian movies, as well as most straight men can sit through this just to oogle Teegra.


It looks stupid and cheap. The sound effects are dated and bad. The music is 100% forgettable. There is a disconnect between the voice acting and what is really happening on the screen. The character designs try to be funny and scary at the same time and the roto-scoping effects look ridiculous.

But...I didn't hate it. I don't know why. The story wasn't the best but there were redeeming elements of it. This anime has some moxy or imagination that you just can't buy. I mean, Orc Nazi's fighting sword wielding elves, a death robot named Peace who rides a ridiculously goofy looking horse/lizard bi-ped and one sexy as hell, curvy in all the right places fairy....not to mention the main wizard has a clown nose and mickey mouse hands and almost sucks at wizardry.....what the fuck.

The story made sense though, I'm not sure how. The animation looked silly but dealt with some dark themes. The ending was pretty damn awesome. It's just hard to look past it's goofy surface. I would almost like someone to reboot this.

12 Angry Men (Twelve Angry Men)

I must apologize if you've heard it before but this movie is amazing. I thought it was going to be boring. Put it off and kept putting it off. Then I just said screw it, and popped the dvd in. One of the best decisions I have made recently.

I'm assuming it's impossible to not like this film. I mean sure, the premise seems boring, and who likes grumpy old men or worse yet, listening to them. But it's made so well. Somehow 12 old-ish guys in room talking is very compelling cinema. I was laughing and yelling at the screen. The whole piece is a critique of society at large, and every personality that goes with it. I love Henry Fonda's stoic rebelliousness. He came off to me as the alpha male, even though he seemed demure. Kudos to him for pulling that off.

Just do yourself a favor and see this one.


I can't explain why this affected me so. It's a very very dark, eerie, carnal and erotic film. And even those words can't really describe it well. The setting, pace, cinematography and music were astounding, this whole film just congealed into one animal, with every piece accenting the next. I'm still not sure how to rate it.

It was definitely good. Had a decent amount of female nudity, that's a plus in my book. But also contained a lot of cold blooded murder.

I'm gonna probably do an RT first and quote fellow reviewer Snapshot and say "it becomes a narrative essay on primitive sexuality, sexual politics, the fear and exhilaration of sexual vulnerability" and I would also add the jealousy that stems from that. The main young girl is fiendish about sex, same with the character hachi, and as blunt as it is, it is a very real and raw element, and here Shindo brings that to life. The setting itself was a character in the story, the thick grassland that seemed to consume everything, haunting every step, concealing dark things. It was very Hitchcokian in nature. The film could also be seen as a critique of the ramifications of war. I'm trying to sum everything up in a neat couple of paragraphs and probably not doing it that much justice.

I would conclude that this film is not for everybody, it is however one of the most haunting, carnal things I have seen in a long time.

My Neighbor Totoro

Ok this is a review of the Japanese version with subtitles. I can't watched dubbed film, even if it's animated.

First of all this anime had a cute factor of +1,254...which is quite high, actually it's off the charts. Totoro is just seeping with cuteness. The sisters are great and they're relationship seems very real. It's just, things start to get very unreal when a 8 legged cat bus shows up. Despite the almost random weirdness of Totoro himself, the story is very linear, perhaps a bit too linear. There is no climax or problem to be resolved, the movie just flows forward, and almost goes nowhere. It ends just a little more zany than when it began...that's it.


Let me start by saying that I did enjoy this film. It was as epic as it gets and looked awesome. The costumes and setting were amazing. The acting was pretty good. And the story was very dark, depressing and compelling.

Perhaps too a bit too depressing though. It was definitely better than Kagemusha, which is so far the worst kurosawa film I have seen. Both starred Nakadai, who is perhaps my favorite Japanese actor. But in Kagemusha, Nakadai had humor to give his character redeeming qualities. Here he has nothing but maniacal redemption, resentment and a desire for absolution. And all of these come after he is punished for his greed. I do have a slight problem with the battle scenes, I had wished they were more...battle-y but they weren't bad. The blood and gore worked well and came out as shocking.

Ran did perhaps contain one of the most well deserved and bloody beheadings in film history though. I don't want to heap praise onto this film just because the consensus is to do so. I think I prefer kurosawa in black and white and he has made quite a few movies better than this one. Still it is better than most film, just not his best.


Landmark and genius film. I could not believe this was made in 1931. It's very innovative and well written.

The story is about a serial pedophile/killer (a very convincing/amazing Peter Lorre) who is being hunted by a number of people and the effect his killings have on the community in general. That alone separates it from an average serial killer film, as Lang focuses on the ramifications of the murders rather than the murders themselves.

I love the way it's pieced together, seamlessly weaving different points of view and dialogue into one whole. The cinematography is just frickin' great and had to be very innovative for it's time. The acting was pretty amazing, from everyone, even characters with just a few lines were very believable.

Overall, great movie, I'd give it a 98%, it's extra special.

Samurai Rebellion

Very good piece of cinema. Another beauty, black and white samurai drama. It's not particularly heavy on action, save for the highly anticipated end.

Kobayashi loves to refute the authority of old world Japans ruling classes. He stresses in here, and Harakiri, that not all answers handed out by these "authorities" are correct, and we are human beings, flesh, bone and emotions, for better or for worse. The stringent rules of bushido, and the class system don't allow for true happiness and life to flourish.

All in all, it's a pretty great film, albeit a bit on the long side, but it's never boring because you know what will ultimately come in last third of the film. Mihune is great here, playing his strong, bold and honorable samurai, similar to yojimbo yet not the same.

Yoko Tsukasa does a great job here as well, you might remember her as the pretty woman who needs to be rescued by Mihune in Yojimbo.


I cannot give this less than 100.

It's such a moving piece of cinema, and so seemingly before it's time. Purely inspirational.

Kurosawa is a genius for telling the story the way he did. I haven't seen much like it in modern cinema. So well crafted, the film just flows well. It's begging to be remade in America, but I hope it doesn't happen. Other words that come to mind are: profound, beautiful, moving, relevant. The pace was not bad at all, people who complain about that really don't know what story telling is all about. The way the story is told in the last act (third) of the film is awesome.

The film sat really deep with me because I am currently stuck in a job that I hate and I felt I was wasting my I gotta quit and do something amazing (or just great).

The Squid and the Whale

Not sure how much of a comedy this was...though I did laugh a few times. The sheer awkwardness of each scene is almost beyond comprehension. It's like looking into the lives of a bunch of seriously deranged people with almost no redeeming factors. Acted well, and I suppose directed well because it did feel really personal. I don't know if I'd recommend this to everyone.

It was painful to watch, and that was Noah Baumbach's intent. Not particularly unlike,the films he's made with Wes Anderson, there were bits of very dark humor I assume, buried in there, but this film is definitely it's own beast.

Rear Window
Rear Window(1954)

Really, really great movie. You think it couldn't hold you're attention, possibly because it's shot on a back lot stage, partly because it doesn't seem exciting at first, and partly because how could an almost 50 year old Jimmy Steward get the amazingly super beautiful Grace Kelly. But it does hold your attention and is made really well, flows wonderfully and is very engaging, especially when the story gets going.

Did I mention Grace Kelly was the most beautiful woman on the planet?

I love the element that most of the film is shot from his apartment, the sheer voyeurism of it all is very captivating, and really makes the viewer feel as trapped as the protagonist.

Nosferatu, a Symphony of Horror (Nosferatu, eine Symphonie des Grauens) (Nosferatu the Vampire)

First of all, if you have the version with the Type-O-Negative soundtrack, mute it. It's kind of horrible and doesn't even match whats happening on screen. Other than that this film is pretty cool, very influential, and slightly scary. It is a very striking and captivating film.

Max Schreck is a scary dude...because of the films age and the amazing make-up, I could possibly believe that this was a documentary on the last vampire in existence (obviously data supports my the form of the film shadow of the vampire).

Somehow this is a more enjoyable scare than contemporary horror movies, without all the sudden fright sounds and unneeded gore.

Vampyr - Der Traum des Allan Grey

Easily great.

Crazy odd, horror movie...the weird thing is there's about no blood at all, and no gore whatsoever...heck it was made in 1932. But it looks great, the setting is beautiful and creepy and the feel of this film is palpable. I can't put my finger on it, but there is something here. The cinematography and special effects are pretty amazing and eerie. The shadow scene is just awesome. As is the coffin scene. It's like pure imagination sometimes.


IMO, not Kurosawa's best. It was a good movie, but the message was either somewhat lost or not big enough for the epic-ness of this film. I had wished it were a bit better. I don't really like the 80's feel of the film itself, ie. not the movie but the actual film it was burned on...That said, Nakadai is pretty funny as the warlord, reminded me of Captain Jack Sparrow. The battle scenes were disappointing but the poignancy of the final battle worked well with how it was shot.

For me, it didn't feel like Kurosawa. I'm holding him in the regard of films like Ran, Ikiru, Seven Samurai, Rashomon etc..and this one just doesn't live up to those.

Kaidan (Kwaidan) (Ghost Stories)

While I did like this film, it wasn't as scary or entertaining as I had hoped. The problem lies in the stories themselves. Each story was wonderfully shot and looked really great. The colors and set pieces and special effects were all cool. But the stories didn't have any real moral value to them. They felt like something you would read in a 'goosebumps' throw away novel when you were a kid. That said, I think all the actors did great jobs. If you like old Japanese cinema or samurai films, you will notice a lot of actors here. Perhaps my favorite story is Hoichi the Earless. The costumes and visuals are pretty amazing, colorful and dreamy. I would recommend this to hardcore film people, or if you have a lot of time on your hands.


The more I think about this film, the more I like it.

Beautifully shot, somehow these old Japanese films look amazing. Nakadai is great in this one as well. He seems to always play his characters a bit on the crazy side, which I like.

The story is great, and you definitely won't know where it's going from the beginning. Once it gets rolling, it's pretty sad and interesting and rewarding in a way. And yes, there are some duels in here, done with real swords, no less.

Let the Right One In

I'm afraid this film was super bad ass. Great and touching story which is more sinister and disturbing than meets the eye..well in a way. Love conquers all.

I can't bear to watch the American version after seeing this one. It seems like a masterpiece to me and I don't see the need to remake it.

Overall a great love story, coming of age story and vampire flick.


Great film, a very easy to watch Kurosawa movie and super's got Tetsuya Nakadai in it.....oh yeah Sword of Doom.....Mihune is always bad ass too.

If you liked A Fistful of Dollars, they essential lifted the story from here. Yojimbo is the everyman that all guys aspire to be like. Got a lot of the familiar Kurosawa actors in it too, ie. Takahashi Shimura.

Inglourious Basterds

At times, it's preposterous, ridiculous and downright kooky. Yet has some beautiful and redeeming moments. The sheer fantastic bizarreness of the climax in the third act is something to behold, I loved that scene by the way.

Quentin has always straddled the line between kitsch/cheezy/low budget homage and dramatic/realism. It just seems he was a bit more over the on the former's side this time around. He just seemed to be pandering too much to the jewish/anti-nazi whatever side a bit too much. I mean the nazi's almost had no redeeming qualities...and maybe they shouldn't but it would have balanced the film out a bit. It felt to me like the fact that Shoshanna had a black boyfriend was just to usurp all of the the beliefs that perhaps even closet racists have and not to further the story. Or it could have been because there felt absolutely no chemistry there. The pure vitriol between Shoshana and Zoller felt very real.

Melanie Laurent was great though, and I might add very beautiful. There were some amazing scenes in this film, particularly the opening few. The bar scene was very very well done, the tension was just amazing.

All in all a very good film, marred by a bit too much ridiculousness...but what can you expect, really, it's fiction dressing up as history.

The Book of Eli

I think my judgment of this film has been influenced a bit too much by the fact that I just read Cormac McCarthy's The Road.

If you want a post-apocalyptic dirge through the bleak wasteland Americas...that's your ticket. It will have you on the edge your seat the whole read.

The words that come to mind when I think of The Book of Eli are: predictable, preposterous, average, poorly planned...

First of all, this is way more sci-fi than The Road, yet it wants to be as realistic. What I realized from The Road, was that nomad scavengers don't have a ton of calories to waste on useless shit. They must always watch their backs, ie. when they start fires for warmth and food...

The book of Eli breaks these things time and time again. Rendering the realistic effort moot. This film makes little sense. This dude is traveling for 30 years, yet puts his canteen under a sink to see if the water is running, and doesn't even wait for the rusty water to clear out.....wth. This should have been instinct to him at this point.

He starts a fire in a building were he is a sitting duck and listens to music at the same time....making him totally defenseless.

Another thing...why are there fat people? If they're starving enough to go cannibal, how did one get so fat? Likewise, Denzel seemed like he was eating a bit too well. If anything he should have been ripped, I mean the dude is on a hairless cat diet. How much fat do they have?

I suppose where the this movie lacks in realism it makes up for is sheer preposterous action. The fight scenes were great but just seemed out of place somehow, and not believable, borderline ridiculous. That old cliched bar fight scene where all the dudes have guns yet refuse to use them in favor of getting torn limb from limb by the protagonist.

Or how about why everyone wears sunglasses because of some hole in the sky and yet hardly any of them cover their heads or faces from the same sun rays.

And the complete elimination of Christianity? For real.

I really wanted to like this film, but it wasn't campy enough to be a good action flick, and wasn't realistic enough to be a drama. Mila Kunis is very sexy though.


-----Now a little disclaimer: I have not read the graphic novel and know that most of this story stayed close to it.------

How pretentious does the first 2 hours of this film come off?

The song selections are great but somehow they feel more campy than artistic, snobbish even. I mean they'd be almost cliche in a 'regular' film, and could almost work in a dark ironic sort of way....but for some reason I can't explain, they just leave a bad taste in my mouth.

Some seriously unexplainable things plague this film....

Rorschach is hit up by a hooker, who would obviously know him because she works next to his house [as seen earlier in the film]... not to mention while he has a freaky mask on...uhhh yeah. Even if we assume heroes are real, this would be beyond insane.

And how the hell could a glowing blue man not cause a stir in a 3rd world country bar....

Rorschach takes his time to pick a lock on the cemetery gate, when he could just jump over. Sound like nitpicking buuut this scene is almost irrelevant.

How is Dr.Manhattan not aware of this extremely important 'program' event going on while he was just in the actual room it was supposed to take place in? (He left his watch in there.) Also the other doctors just let him waltz back in there when they would have fully known the 'program was locked in' for a specific amount of time.....? Why is the door even open with 10 seconds left on the timer? How did he not know that?? It seeemed like a very very important experiment.

The voice overs during these sections come off as slightly cheesy. (By Dr.Manhattan)

Mindless violence....great (read sarcasm).

Ooooh how ironic, giving a guy named Rorschach a Rorschach test....and the doctor was serious?! Ok yeah, that's wonderful. No lead in to that joke. (even if this scene was in the novel, still lame)

Thanks for the flesh peeling, boner killing atomic dream sequence.(read sarcasm)

*(I know the dream sequence was in the novel but were they naked initially? because that is what kills the scene for me.)

Thanks for juxtaposing the best scene in the film so far (see Malin in her birthday suit humping) next to the arm amputation scene....erections killed=2. Plus, Why ruin Cohen's 'Hallelujah'? Song selection=Fail.

No explanation for the prison riot....

But why would Dr.Manhattan be messing with cogs and levers when he could build anything from nothing.

There has been waaay too much of this slow down speed up stuff.

-------------------The Third Act------

For some reason this film has finally found it's legs....or become self-aware. Things get nice around the 2 hour mark.

The last hour or so, felt completely different than the first 2, and in a way, justified some the qualms I had with the film in the first 2 hours.

Somehow the fight scenes got better, which is odd.


Overall I think the voice overs by Rorschach seem cliche, which is not to say that voice overs in general are cliche, but it was just that the material itself seemed so. What really worked is when Jackie Earle Haley took over, when the doctor was probing him, he was a def +1 for this film in general. He was actually better without the mask.

I liked the film overall, despite the above complaints and Malin's lack of acting skill. Haley made the film worth while and I particularly liked the changes in the ending Snyder did, except for taking out another love scene, I mean WHY?!!!.....

On the other hand, the fact that Dan saw his friend get killed made it more poignant obviously for his character but might have taken away from the depressing nature of Rorschach's death and the feeling of futility about our lives in general that the scene creates.

Anyway, decent film made by kind of an annoying and sub-par director.


What can I say about this predictable popcorn-fest that hasn't been said already?

visuals: yes they're great at times
yes immersive 3-D or "real-D" as they call it

story: been done before
recently Last Samurai
very predictable,
anyone who has ever seen a single movie could call every scenes resolution.

directing: professional, every shot is nice
but nothing new, outside of using the 3-D

acting: it's there, done well, nothing to complain about

Lets get back to the visuals, just awesome at times, Cameron has revolutionized 3-D and possibly changed the way we watch film.........if only the story was better...or less run of the mill.


Godzilla: Final Wars

What an insane, weird, ridiculous piece of cinema.

And I wouldn't really want it much different. But damn, when old school mma legend Don Frye is one of your main actors and Godzilla (what we all came here for) doesn't show up for an hour an a half....things get kind of sketchy. Look out for other mma "stars" in Japan to make some cameos as well.

Don't bother following the "plot"...yes that's in quotations. And there are some odd Matrix-like scenes here, and i wasn't sure if it was a parody or just blatant theft. Just ignore the crazy mutant stuff, because you can laugh at almost about anything here.

Everything gets a whole lot better when Godzilla starts tearing through the monsters like an American through McDonalds french fries. The special effects weren't that bad, I mean it's no Avatar but this was six years ago and on a way smaller budget. Besides I prefer my kaiju to be men in suits as opposed to crappy CGI....a la "Zilla" the american version.

This is enjoyable though.

6.9 on the richter scale


A super predictable, fast paced, action film, whose sentimental heart is countered by it's brutal violence and death toll. A-list actor Liam Neeson, Oskar Schindler himself, is an ultimate badass, some sort of ex-secret agent/military guy. His daughter has been kidnapped and his only option to get her back is to kill 20-30 Albanians and whoever else stands in his way. Armed with every possible tactic/skill a military/secret agent could have, how could we ever doubt him?

Just sit back eat your popcorn and watch Oscar nominated Liam Neeson, destroy a bunch of guys in a big budget B-movie.

6.9 because I'm a sucker for action it wasn't as cheesy as it could have been.

Life Is Beautiful (La Vita è bella)

A very funny film that centers on a clown who is the king of coincidences. That being said I do not think this film makes light of the Holocaust. It just tells the story of one man and his family and his experience.

For Guido, especially at the beginning of the film, things really make almost no sense and actions have little consequences, and of course everything falls into place. But this is sort of essential, in order to establish his character, the superlative clown. There is no character development and it's perhaps not needed here. Everyone is one dimensional and that's how they stay. The story overall is funny, funny, then sad, then funny, then sad, then there's a funny/sad/happy ending. The translation scene itself is probably worth the price of admission.


The Sword of Doom

While the original name was Daibosatsu Toge, which would translate into Boddhisattva Pass, Sword of Doom perhaps more accurately warns the potential viewer as to what the film will bring.

Tatsuya Nakadai plays Ryunosuke Tsukue, perhaps the most psychopathic, scary, murdering maniac/ father/husband, I have seen, since Jack Nicholson in The Shining. What is odd about this film is that protagonist is in fact the villain. But Ryunosuke's killings aren't entirely unjustified, Kihachi Okamoto (director) creates scenarios where in Ryunosuke's point of view, the killings are ethical reactions to the situation. Although he never kills without being provoked, we still get a perverse or wrong feeling about them. Especially Ryunosuke's first kill which even if it was the practice of tsuji-giri, is viewed as morally wrong by todays standards but in those times it might have been considered acceptable.

One of my only gripes with this film was the portrayal of Ohama (Hama). It reminded me of the samurais wife in Kurosawa's Rashomon, she was selfish, manipulative and weak. I suppose that's what the story called for but it just felt dirty...

Did I mention that this film has a 100+ body count? Or that Mifune is a serious bad ass in his only ten minutes of screen time? and that the film ends with no less than four loose ends, because they were going to make two sequels but never got enough funds?

8.5 (would have been higher if sequels were made)


Too much steam, not enough punk.

While this animated film is pretty gorgeous to look at, the story was seriously lacking. I mean, all this build up, for.......a steam tower?! ok. The film itself was the equivalent of the Titanic, epic, long [2+ hours], beautiful and yet it went nowhere and sunk.

Overall, I didn't care about the characters, and the plot went nowhere, err..well, wherever it went I didn't much care about, probably because the failed character development.



While close up Beowulf looked great, from afar it was a different story with the character animation etc looking like a very good video game. I didn't mind the story, actually felt like they put a lot of thought into it, making the original a bit more enticing and in a way titillating. The completely nude Angelina Jolie was a definite plus, although the real deal may never have looked as good....

My only problem with this film was that it seemed far too gory. I'm all for gore and horror when it's needed but this seemed just out of control, like a science experiment or something (lets have Grendel rip this guys arms off and see what his muscles looked like from the inside out......uh no).


The Wrestler
The Wrestler(2008)

Mickey Rourke is Randy "The Ram". Plain and simple, one of the best, sincere performances by any actor. The story is touching without being too schmaltzy, it's visceral at times, and comes off more 'real' than some documentaries. It's also a very good length and over before you know it. Marisa Tormei also puts a lot on the line, extra points because I'm a red blooded male and she looks damn good for 40+.

The scenes in the deli counter remind me of why I quit my job in retail just to be dirt poor while doing what I love.


Le samouraï
Le samouraï(1967)

Beautifully shot and thrilling crime drama set in 1960's France, so what's not to like?

Le Samourai centers on a bushido obsessed assassin, who gets into a tough spot after one of his methodical hits doesn't end with a clean, free getaway. Technically this film is fine. The cinematography is always great, think long spacious shots and great close ups. I love the lack of dialogue, although ultimately it hinders the viewers ability to interpret the ending. Which is fine, it's not like the ending is left open. It's just the motive/motives for that ending are up in the air.

Overall, it's definitely a stylish, crime drama that has influenced a small legion of similar themed gangster/crime thrillers including the early work of John Woo.


Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End

First of all, lesson to be learned: never begin a movie with no script or an unfinished one.

It has been serious years since I have seen number 2 (Dead Man's Chest), but I wasn't really expecting to be completely lost when the movie began. However, somehow the film took me to singapore on an unneeded adventure and began to bore me before my microwave popcorn got cold. Within 30 minutes, the double crossing and back stabbing and mish-mashing of allegiances and pirate crews were probably enough to even confuse the actors.

I can't even recall how many times I said "what's going on?" or "wait a minute, what's going on?" or "ummm....what just happened?" or "geezus christ, what the hell is going on?!"

I shouldn't even discuss the other elements of the film ie. CG (which was actually great), actors (doing their thing:johnny, geoffrey rush, bill nighy and not doing so well: Bloom, Skarsgard) and score (as good as has always been) because this film is an epic disaster. Yes, epic because it was 3 hours! and Disaster because it's something you do not want to live through again.

The only redeeming factor was that the monkey just gets better and better.

5.0 (for Jack Sparrow, Keira Knightly:eye candy, and the CG)

The Prestige
The Prestige(2006)

Here is a nice moment in film making. Director Christopher Nolan takes us on a ride. Perhaps, better yet a magical journey (as horribly lame as that sounds, I couldn't resist). Nolan shifts between time and characters more than a bipolar homeless man. But somehow everything makes sense, and the viewer is never lost, I suppose it's something Nolan learned to do well while making Memento.

Of course, if you're reading this, you are well aware there is a "twist" ending. While I won't reveal any spoilers, there are several hints laid out during the films progress. With the entire film itself following the: Pledge, Turn, Prestige format. All the actors are up to the task but why must I always hate Scarlett Johansson's characters (first in Match Point, now this). David Bowie makes a great cameo, and is surprisingly not very David Bowie-ish.

Despite the whodunnit nature, the story is never really confusing, just seemingly complicated, all of which will be explained at the end.


The Darjeeling Limited

An interesting journey into the heart of India with a boon of ridiculousness and comedy thrown together with a smidgen of sadness and existentialism. It reads like most other Wes Anderson films, not to say that it's a duplication but deals with similar themes, destroyed familial relationships and the inability to effectively display ones emotions.......or things of that nature.

For the film itself, well I did literally LOL, a few times, like hard, the type of laughing that when finished you look around to see if people are staring at you. As for characters Owen Wilson is playing perhaps the same character he does in every film, which isn't a bad thing here. Brody does a good job as well. Jason Schwartzman does his usual semi-neurotic but very likable guy schtick. And it all seems to work together very well. Of course there's some great imagery here, textures, framing, etc. Wes is a pro at what he does.

All in all I liked it, liked it a lot. If you liked Wes Anderson's other films, you will love this. If you rented or watched the other films because of critical acclaim and left feeling they were just ok or even stupid, don't watch Darjeeling Limited, it's not for you, you won't understand it, you probably don't want to understand it, maybe when you're older, maybe when you start going to thrift stores to buy weird ties, or ride a moped to work..........



Perhaps this is the best heist/crime noir, cat and mouse film ever committed to film. But even on the slight off chance that it isn't, that it can't live up to the amazing story, the great cast (Robert De Niro, Al Pacino, Val Kilmer, Tom Sizemore, Natalie Portman, Ashley Judd etc.), and the epic face off between Pacino's manic borderline insane detective and De Niro's fully fleshed out thief with a heart and a mean streak....the downtown chase scene/ battle is almost worth the price of admission itself.

The story is almost 2 fold, shifting back between good and bad or whichever side you think constitutes good and bad. Pacino puts such a psychotic spin on his character that it's hard to root for him and LAPD. On the other hand De Niro's bunch of rag tag, ex cons, actually have morals and families, though some aren't as tight as they seem (Kilmer's Chris has martial problems).

It's about a 3 hour trek, well worth the effort, when Pacino and De Niro face off sparks fly, and my palms were literally sweaty through out several scenes. Mann does a great job here, tying everything together, the final few scenes were absolutely thrilling.....absolutely.


Iron Man
Iron Man(2008)

It is passable. Not the best super-hero film out there but enjoyable none the less. It had enough action to remain exciting, and a nicely despicable Jeff Bridges. However, I am not a fan of CG, and this film had a lot. Although a majority of the CG was pretty decent, with a bit of it looking completely "uncanny valley", if that even applies to robots in human form. Everyone did a great job in the acting department. So no qualms there.



Metropolis-great steam punk inspired visuals. Although some of the character designs were a bit too cartoonish for my tastes. The story is very similar to Blade Runner and Fritz Lang's original Metropolis with elements of Tezuma's own Astro Boy. Rintaro changed the original manga to actually resemble the original Metropolis to an even greater extent. But this anime film, comes off with too many buttons and perhaps not enough loops, there are so many storylines, each intersecting but not long enough for the audience to care.


Tropic Thunder

Tropic Thunder-the sheer awesomeness of this film is only upset by the lack of universality in it's humor. Overall, a very cool film, which took a lot of balls to make.


Little Miss Sunshine

Little Miss Sunshine-if there is anything close to perfection in cinema, this is it. Great story, wonderful characters, superbly acted, not cliche'd or over handed, the material was handled in the most amazingly delicate and yet un-biased way.


The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button-is a curious movie for David Fincher, in that it didn't seem like it would be up his alley. Somehow he pulls off something between a Forrest Gump, Twilight Zone and Before Sunrise (a love story on a time limit). Somehow it just wasn't fantastical enough. But definitely had it's moments.


3:10 to Yuma
3:10 to Yuma(2007)

3:10 to Yuma-was a very surprisingly good and well made western, starring an Aussie and a Brit [go figure]. The acting was as good as it gets and the action was pretty awesome. Also had an interesting morally clouded twist ending of sorts, which the nightbat definitely didn't see coming.


The Proposition

The Proposition-is an explosive, serene, bloody, western in the flavor of a Mamet film with an overlying moral dilemma. It has a sort of exotic mysteriousness rarely found in films today. Plus Nick Cave is involved.


The Dark Knight

...I'm the 100,000th person to review The Dark Knight.

You'll probably read the same old tired praise, the same expressions of affinity, the love for the new direction that you've read 100 times before. But honestly, it's a great movie, has all the elements to be a great movie and is executed very well. Now, that coupled with Heath's x-factor, just might make this an all time favorite.

Actually TDK, reminded me of another super hero movie, that I loved; SpiderMan 2. Both had disenfranchised heroes, who became a "menace to society", both had unrequited love triangles, and both questioned man's ultimate, innate, 'goodness'.

It was also hard not to notice the ethical questions posed by the film. Some that feel really current, as with the wire tapping and how far can someone morally go in order to sustain a fair and lawful world.

Those points aside, the base of the film worked well, although some of the dialogue felt too well written, as if every character was capable of witty reparte, and each line fell perfectly in with the previous one. For the most part, that does seem to die down once things get going in the film. And all the acting was definitely up to par, with Heath leading the way by miles.

-------nightyknight-----9.5 fresh

Escape from New York

I had fond memories of this film and particularly Snake. I almost didn't want to re-watch it, out of fear of spoiling my former enjoyment. But honestly, I couldn't pass up the 5 dollar bin at my local Wal-Mart.

This movie overall just felt fresh. It was well made. the special effects hold up, even today. I love the comic style characters, the amazing anti-hero Snake and all the oddities in New York. Lee Van Cleef's one dimensional police comissioner. And who could possibly forget Adrienne Barbeau and her incredible....assets [those might have actually given the film an extra half star].

The plot is intense. A race against the clock, for the lives of Snake and the President and possibly the United States. Not to mention, everyone in the movie is struggling against all odds to find a way out. It's a fast paced action film. And had some really convincing sets. The dialogue, especially concerning Snake, is often humorous and fits the film entirely. I also can't help but think of all those great Metal Gear videogames this inspired.

You going to kill me, Snake?
Not now, I'm too tired

Resident Evil

Actually, I think the screenwriters were victims of these brain eating zombies.

This film has all the intelligence of a carrot. But hey, look on the brightside, it seems like it was edited by a 3 year old. Which means, that the acting must have been superb, you know, so this film wasn't a total loss. Well there were some good actors in the film, zombie #1 was great, so were most of the other zombies. [/color]

So overall, this film failed to meet even the levels of story telling that most of the videogames achieved. It was non-thrilling, with decent action and some great sets.

Van Helsing
Van Helsing(2004)

Hot Damn! Twenty minutes into this thing I thought this film might have exceeded my already low expectations. But alas, it failed me.

It started out well, reminded me (purposefully) of the great, black and white monster flicks of old. Even after it went to color, I thought it could still be interesting, no nonsense fun. Just too bad, Stephen Sommers didn't take the film a tad bit more seriously. I almost gave it a 3, because of all the resources they wasted making this. The dialogue was horrendous, the effects were decent, the action was acceptable, and acting was almost passable. Good thing there is a decent amount of eye candy [uh hum...Kate]. But no beautiful but naked vampiresses...pleease. The best part was the finale, which had an actual enjoyable monster battle. I did also like the monster designs.

and if you're asking, my cable was shut off...ok...really.

Come See the Paradise

Wow. I really, really wanted to like this. The events and era this film is based on deserved better. I think Japanese people deserved better. Not that it was horrible, but it fell short of what it truly could have been. The film suffers from ADD, there was simply little flow, scenes would just arrive, in your face and not in a good way. The actors were overall pretty good. But can someone explain to me why Minichan keeps getting older and no one else does?? Overall, I felt the films editing, pacing and feel were rushed, off and wrong. Perhaps it was the editing?

Pan's Labyrinth

[font=Comic Sans MS]I'll have you know that I really anticipated this film. I never saw it in the theatre but I bought it on DVD without hesitation. I was immediately struck by how beautiful the film was shot. Del Toro really correlated the fantasy and reality elements in a very fluid yet seperate manner. The fantasy elements were the same over the top, beautifully rendered pieces of art that we come to expect from Del Toro but they still kept the same moody, sad undertones [and overtones] as the rest of the film. [/font]

[font=Comic Sans MS]Plus the story was fresh and wonderfully written, and it just felt like a classic fairytale with a sort of adult oriented, dramatic twist. This film is about the Spanish Civil War which devatstated the country from 1936-1939. It's a serious movie about serious life events that just happens to encompass this little girls dream world. Really, every actor was just superb, especially Ivana Baquero as Ofelia. I would recommend this film to anybody, really just a special film and the ending is just icing on the cake.-------nighty night---6:) [/font]

Nancy Drew: Original Mystery Movie Collection

[font=Comic Sans MS]Sometimes, those things we use to fill up the dead spaces in our lives can simply be fun, not heavy, not thought provoking...but fun. This collection is just that. I love Bonita as Nancy Drew [this is coming from somebody who never read any of the novels though], and Frankie as Ted is pure magic. I honestly couldn't imagine anyone else portraying those respective characters. They had great chemistry, as well as John Litel as Nancy's father. I love how each film just expands on the next, my favorite was Trouble Shooter. Willie Best as Apollo was sheer hilarity...and the things Ted'll do for Nancy...just insane. Anyway, watch these for some good ol' wholesome, charming, unpretentious, and whatever-other-words-people-are-throwing-around movie time.--------no I'm not a [i]fruit[/i] bat---wah wah wah-----:o [/font]

Wuthering Heights

Wuthering Heights is thickly saturated with that old, over-glorified, over-dramatic romance that was all the rage back in the day. Heathcliff is simply possessed with Cathy, to the point at which he is willing to alter his life forever, out of vengence and undying love for her. For Heathcliff his elan vital is Cathy and yet he is spiteful of her for [supposedly in his mind] choosing Edgar as a husband. And yet both Heathcliff and Cathy's ethos is selfishness. Are we to believe that they were born for each other? She says herself that they both made of the same basic fiber. But Cathy was consumed with a desire to be part of the affluent class of society. Cathy was so undecisive about who she wanted but definitely knew what she wanted: wealth.

Heathcliff used the new colonies in America, to gain his wealth and get revenge on everyone who looked down on him. But he still wanted Cathy, so much so that he was willing to have her killed just so no one else could have her. In the end, in their deaths we are led to believe that perhaps, they do deserve each their own demented, greedy way. Lord Olivier was wonderful in the film as was Merle Oberon, they played their respective parts with just the right amount of over the top, dark, dementia.

I will "Cathy!" in my sleep, unfortunately.

Superman Returns

[font=Comic Sans MS]...I mean Jesus is no noooo. Superman is our saviour.[/font]

[font=Comic Sans MS]Ok, was I the only one slightly bemused by this story?[/font]
[font=Comic Sans MS]The romantic complexity is what really drove me away. I wasn't too sharp on my old Superman movie skills and only remember bits and pieces, all out of order, of course. So initially I was not sure which of Donner or Lester's films this is a sequel of. I would suppose number 2 [which also partly made by Donner] because 3 and 4 were pretty bad. My main gripe was Lois lying to her husband about the child, which I mean the writers should have made up their minds [or cleared things up a bit]. Did she remember her reletionship with Superman or not? Despite the fact that I hated the Super'boy' element, the story could have picked up. But Bosworth was sooo dry that I failed to care about her character. Spacey's Lex was also about 10,003 times more evil than Gene's. There was also little supsense, and the film seemed to end about 3 times. The running time also left something to be desired, it just felt long, even for 2 [size=1]1/2[/size] hours. I felt as if, Singer just delivered the goods, but didn't deliver [i]'the Goods'[/i]. I was a fan of the Christ-like allusions, though.---------eh--nigh bat still loves that John Williams score-----7.7:rolleyes: [/font]

Blades of Glory

#1. It's a comedy people.If it works, it works.

#2. I suppose you either hate Will [and his male chauvinist, drunkard or you love him. I fall into the latter category.

Given those points, this thing is funny, stupid funny not Wes Anderson funny. But funny is funny after all. 'Laughs', I don't care where they come from just as long as they're there. That said, I don't care for Poehler and Arnett, or at least their performances in this film. If you can appreciate a good, formulaic, but mostly hilarious comedy, then Blades of Glory is for you.

Chazz: They laughed at Louie Armstrong when he said he was going to the moon, and now he's laughing at them from up there.

The Illusionist

[font=Comic Sans MS]The fantastic part of this film wasn't the magic, special effects or 'twist' ending. No, what was fantastic about this movie was the fact that it held up so well despite those things, as well as a weak script. Edward Norton fit so perfectly as Eisenheim, and Biel was surprisingly decent. Giamatti handled the inspector and the aforementioned script well. I can't even comment on the score, mostly because it set the mood and blended with the film so well that I don't even remember it.------nightenheim is gonna dissapear-999[/font]

The Departed
The Departed(2006)

[font=Comic Sans MS]Review goes as such [summarized form]: A modern Scorsese diatribe on a plethora of moral issues including trust, fatherhood, deceit, power and justice. Utilizes common Scorsese elements such as: Rock N'Roll score, troubled male lead, quick cuts and an emotional detachment considering death.[/font]

[font=Comic Sans MS]This film is like my 3-D letter of the alphabet project, I got a B+ and everyone thought I deserved an A. But I realized that not all my lines were straight, some of my cuts were uneven, some of my glue wasn't perfectly applied and all of my seams weren't in line. So although my design was great, it wasn't executed as well as it could have been.[/font]

[font=Comic Sans MS]The Departed was lacking in a few important character elements, and not all of the seams met as well as I would have wished. I don't particularly enjoy Scorsese's work, but the last few with Leo have actually been pretty good. The acting is top notch though to almost a caricatural extent.8.8:fresh: ------Nascaaa----667889[/font]


[font=Comic Sans MS]My title basically sums up the dialogue pretty well, but even with the sound off this movie would still be beautiful. It's an amazing story, and I initially hated all the one-liners in the movie [they were very cliche], but came to realize that some of them were actually said [allegedly] and originated in that particular battle. Most of the things I hated about the film in the begining [Leonidus' wife, the Spartan way of rearing a child, among others], were supposedly historically accurate [whatever that means]. But some of the events in the movie were a bit off and there were some obvious errors that were probably caused by the entirely green screen settings and the complexities in shooting a film that way. The characters weren't that bad, save for goat man [hilarious], and seemed very Todd McFarlane inspired and kind of over the top. I could also do without the cheap Enya inspired music. But overall it's worth seeing, just take a quick history lesson first.---[size=1]If-someone-screams-Sparta!-at-me-one-more-time-I'm-gonna-shoot-the-next-muscle-man-I-see[/size]----665:rolleyes: [/font]
[font=Comic Sans MS]7.9:fresh:[/font]

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

[font=Comic Sans MS]Honestly, the novel was better, albeit, a different animal. It's impossible to transfer everything from a full length novel to a film without it being 9 hours long or one of those new fangled trilogies everyone is so keen on. But This film is as perfect as the whole experience can get. The acting alone is impeccable, just so believable, that you're often there cheering McMurphy on as if you were one of the loonies trapped behind those metal grated windows [the whole cast was wonderful]. The score was perfect, blending in and not taking anything away from the film, only added ambience and enhancing scenes. My only gripe is that, the novel is narrated by Chief Bromden, which was an important feature, especially concerning the metaphors embedded in the story.-------night flew over-----699[/font]

Letters from Iwo Jima

[font=Comic Sans MS]Letters is a sad tale, a wistful memoir, spinning it's yarn from the other side of the sweatshop. This ain't your fathers old war movie, it's human, it's values and ethos are purposfully murky, and even though it's from a viewpoint opposing the American one, it's not anti-American [sounds wierd right?]. Letters also is not a prevarication of history, actually it does a pretty good job of putting you right there in the thick of it, full of bullet holes, blood, exploding bodies, fanning the flames, with mixed emotions and a sense of being lost. But somehow, even with the foreknowledge of how the battle ends, the film is still permiated with hope. The acting is great with the execption of a few minor characters. The score is grim, captivating and at times dissonant. Overall, just a well made movie, that could possibly open eyes on justification and results of war, power, lies and greed.-------good-knight--6-clint is tha sh!t.:fresh: [/font]

A Scanner Darkly

Now the question can be posed that if this film didn't utilize the rotoscope animation effect, would it be as good or interesting?

The answer is no, it wouldn't.

But A Scanner Darkly does use that mesmerizing effect which helps the film hold ones attention longer than it could have without it. The story is ultimately full of itself, perhaps full of addiction, and has more layers than an onion. And if you stick past the first hour, some of those layers will be peeled away, and by the end of this drug riddled ride, some of those questions that bubble up in your brain during the first hour will be answered. It's just those answers aren't that satisfying.

overall it's a low B

Eddie and the Cruisers

Bottom line, I love this movie, I love this soundtrack, and I feel that goes hand in hand. Although this film is based off a novel, I feel it rests more so on the music of John Cafferty. Who makes the greatest, completely inspired by The Boss' music ever not made by The Boss. And because of that, this movie succeeds. I love Pare in this film, he exudes attitude and an imprisoned, almost caged, street intellect very worthy of being a Boss type character, and you fully believe that he was destined for greatness. The story flows well, and Beringer holds the reins with ease. Now part of my affinity for Eddie and the Cruisers might be sentimental but the movie holds up well, even over time.

Curse of the Golden Flower

Well well well, oh we-ell, to quote John Lennon.

It was messy, crazy, over the top, convoluted and yet I couldn't look away or stop from going "Wha?" upon each insane revelation. Now I feel like middle aged, bored, housewives all over the planet. But it was beautifully shot though, great colors, vibrant and lurid and eeringly warm. But ultimately it resembled a big budget soap opera with a tad bit of hong kong action cinema.

Obscura says "Noooooooooo!" as he drops to his knees

Children of Men

In the days where we cry out 'stop the violence', 'stop the war', and yet do nothing out of shallow apathy, in a world where a plethora of information is available at ones fingertips and yet out of sight is still out of mind, it would take a film of this kind to open the eyes of the those blinded by a desire to protect themselves. So many ideas here will attack a small majority of peoples political and ethical views, and Cuaron may substitute countries but not ideology, perhaps his ideology. But that substitution can put some things in perspective....I digress though, I don't want to merely talk of this films take on modern America [among other nations and happenings].

The movie starts bleak, Theo [Clive] has lost his faith in humanity [among most of the world], the planet is in chaos, and there's no one to blame. Jasper [Micheal] is a sliver of light in the dark room the world has become. And soon we find ourselves hurled into the most realistic sci-fi movie I've seen, only, calling it sci-fi is like calling a strawberry pop tart a fruit. Throughout the film you watch a truly beautiful transgretion, Cuaron displays humanity and authority in a harsh light, power corrupts authority, and lives are taken on a whim. The film has some pretty suspenseful moments and you'll find yourself whiping your sweaty palms on your jeans from time to time. I wasn't too big on the CG [you know, if you've seen it, "uncanny valley"] but that could be the only downpoint. I'm sure in retrospect this film could probably be a 10, I think I just have to watch it again.



The scenario, the cinematography, the dialogue are all beautiful. The characters are extremely realistic, they have flaws and yet redeeming properties, which makes it hard to like them but also hard to despise them...actually you end up wanting to hang out with them. This is an adventure movie at heart and generally moves pretty well, except for a slow moment here and there....usually about wine but they don't hold the film back. It's ultimately funny and heartwarming and depicts a neo-american society that's actually very accurate. Funny, well written and endearing movie.

Blade: Trinity

Now I'm sure somewhere here there was a cool idea....well...maybe not. But there are a few decent moments, but I've seen better action in an Amish brothel, and most Hong Kong action cinema. The fight scenes are weak and that's saying a lot because they're basically the crux of the film. The Dracula is horrendous, and contrived and so are most of the performances. Really just crap, just plain old crap.

Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith

For one, I'm not a Star Wars nerd, geek or whatever you want to call them. When I was a young child I did have the toys, people might kill me for this but I froze my Darth Vader in a cup and when I got him out his arms broke off, anyways, after the hideous Episode I, and the okay Episode II, I really had no hopes for this one, and in a way that helped.

A decent part of the acting seems wooden, the dialogue seems contrived but the actors really give it their best. Despite some questionable outcomes and events [the ones you can turn a blind eye to], and some of the useless and weak CG, this is a pretty decent film and the one that holds the most water when compared to the initial three.

Rocky Balboa
Rocky Balboa(2006)

[font=Comic Sans MS]So Sylvester is going through a mid-life crisis of sorts, perchance he was saddened by the slow cheesy disintigration of the cherished characters that he labored over for so many years. Honestly I would feel the same, and so plausibly Sylvester went through an existential melt down and pulled this thing out of his hat, 'this thing' being the only feasible option for Rocky after a few of those dreaded sequels. The movie is kind of slow, with a great piano laden score by Conti, filled with those Rocky idioms and expressions [which are usually witty and rewarding]. It's funny, sad and uplifting, it's about growing old, love, death, and new life, it's a mesh of everything that, amazingly, actually works. I think ,really, that it could get better with multiple viewings. My only gripe being that I kind of wished that the fight scene was a bit longer.-------Adriiiiiiiiii......whoops......---niiiiiiiggghhhtbaaaaat---999:fresh: [/font]

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

If this isn't acting then I don't know what is.

About now, you probably have already heard everything on and about this film. It would be easy to dismiss it as another Jackass style, MTV, reality spoof, but anyone who has seen the film would attest to the opposite. There is an element of depth to Borat, the underside to the hilarity, and after you laugh you can then be disgusted with the blatant racism and elitism demonstrated by the films white, sometimes well off, participants. But Borat would fall in the same vein as Fahrenheit 9/11, where perhaps the editing plays a very important role, because I would like to believe that the people exploited in this film are few and far between.....I'll cross my fingers on that one. All in all, Borat is absolutely hilarious, you will be laughing 80% of the time and contemplating the state of America the other 20%.

2001: A Space Odyssey

Wow. The first half of the film almost doesn't stand the test of time, but you have to give it the benefit of the doubt. Monkey people or not, when this thing hits space, the real beauty begins. I have never seen a more realistic version of space, and the future of space travel.

The score was monumental, extremely necessary, and haunting...but boy does it work well. I loved the story and how it shifted in such a sharp way. But the weakness of the original story shines through when you see the star baby. I just wished that part was left out of the film, because there are soo many unanswered questions whose resolution could only tarnish the story and films credibility. Less is more and here Kubrick gives us the least amount imaginable.


This has to be one of the most original, odd, yet wonderful movies ever made.

The celluloid of this film must be dripping with the sweat of Apollo. It's so amazing, a life-like dream inside another dream wrapped in a fantasy. Actually it's like real life, a movie about a man who tries to write a movie and actually puts himself into the movie, yet it is a movie about the guy who wrote the movie.

Cage is surprisingly great, on par, even as two different beings. Believe me, I've known enough twins in my life to realize the difference. The supporting cast is wonderful as well, especially Chris Cooper who embodies his character so well. The story is great and engaging and the narrative is funny. One of a kind film, and that's probably the highest praise I can give.

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby

[font=Comic Sans MS]I was extremely hyped about this film, and I mean extremely. For reasons that will remain unknown, I had to wait for about a week until I could see this movie. The result: funny movie, not yet as good as Anchorman, but better than most of the unhilarious filth released by the major motion picture companies.[uh hum, Wayans brothers...] Some of the laughs would have been greater had they not been ruined by the previews, but que sera sera. Will is, of course, genius, but the supporting cast, with exception of the children in the film and his partner in crime John C. Reilly and of course Sacha Baron Cohen(the third funniest man alive), just fell short of the comedic all-star performance in Anchorman.-------all in all---nightbatlovesit--8.0---6:fresh: 6[/font]

The Descent
The Descent(2006)

This movie had a very promising start, an excrutiating transition, a decent middle and a horrid ending. The begining was pretty good, tragic yet good.Then it built itself as a feminist, bra burning, feminist movie, shoved some trite "reality" based dialogue on you, as well as some easily spotted cheap-o scares.

Once they get in the cave, things start working pretty well. You feel the stark, wet, dark coffin that the cave represents, the plight of the women, and a bit claustrophobic, in a good sacry sweaty palms way. But the lack of any explanation as to why these girls can become cave monster killing badasses in a heartbeat, and explanation[ a good one] on why these men evolved into creatures, really just makes this one take a nose dive. The ending also leaves much to be desired.


This movie knows where it's going and takes you there. No stops. No breaks. You know the events are coming but it's the way they come that's impressive. The randomness of the victims and the disgusting devilishness of the murderers gets to the core of all of us. We want revenge, we want justice and for the most part we get it. The torture scenes are gruesome but I don't think they're too much. They actually hold back somewhat and that helps because it leaves room for something better, something that can be worse...ones imagination.I liked how the main characters have little or no redeeming traits, it adds to the depth, to the reality of it.

In the end I was satiated, the movie works extremely well, and is wonderfully short on cheap scares.[you know those lame pop up freak outs that are accompanied by short bursts of sharp dissonant music]

The Hills Have Eyes

[font=Comic Sans MS]You know the movie wasn't very great when you enjoyed the making of the movie documentary better than the film itself. The movie works, with a few set backs. I didn't like the rape scene, it seemded too well orchestrated for a group of deformed hillbilly desert people. I liked the main family and their relationship seemed genuine. [not the gamma radiated family, of which i thought needed more air time].The acting overall was on par, except "the lizard" whom I thought over-acted quite a bit. I also loved the special effects for the most part, my only gripe was that Pluto reminded me of Sloth from the Goonies a little too much. But what I thought was amazing were the CG effects done on the little girl to make her look deformed, it was really impressive. But all in all I appreciate the story of survival. It illustrated how far a man could go for his family. the action sequences were also done very well, especially the one that takes place in freak city USA.----------6nightbat-66------5.9:fresh: [/font]

V for Vendetta

[font=Comic Sans MS]Well, it had good intentions, but last time I checked, good intentions can't warrent a good review. In my humble opinion, there's just too much message and not enough action. But that's brought to your attention by the lack of drama. When V died, you really don't mind, he doesn't come across as a Robin Hood, or cultural hero, someone you can root for. There's a lack of personality, of closeness. But it looked great, and Natalie Portman is beautiful, and the action scenes were done well. SO, I give the movie an actual rating of 6.8:fresh: .-----vexing----666[/font]

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

[font=Comic Sans MS]...well, Johnny Depp was good. Don't get me wrong I like pirates as much as the next guy but this movie dragged a little, mostly due in part to the many plot twists and characters. The score was way forgettable with the exception of the main theme and it really leaves you hanging in the end. I assume everyone saw it because you kind of have to in order to see the third installment, or their girlfriends dragged them to the theatres because of Mr.Johnny. It did have some great funny moments[the whole scene with the cannibals on the island was extremely great] and overall some wonderful parts. I honestly didn't care for Will's character or Elizabeth, except during the fight over the chest, which really made the four charcters react to each other and put their relationships in perspective...I think what made it lag was extra plot twists and characters that lead or connect this movie with the next installment...which is a bummer, because I could have used an actual ending.:fresh: 7.5----------ohwell------66matey6[/font]

Dead Man
Dead Man(1995)

Honestly, this film is one good ride. Don't be fooled by the begining, which is super slow, as soon as the plot thickens this thing moves, and the dead pile up. The acting is definitely there with Iggy Pop, Gabriel Byrne, Billy Bob....all in your face with odd characters and the only way to describe it would be 'wildly bizarre'. Some of Jarmusch's shots are pure beauty and Neil Young's soundtrack is haunting.Not to mention, Johnny plays his favourite bumbling manic nerd character. One of the best westerns I have ever seen.

Nacho Libre
Nacho Libre(2006)

[font=Comic Sans MS]Weeelll, It looks as if Hess has done it again. As impossible as it may be, this thing is close to greatness ofNapoleon. Granted the characters aren't as fleshed out, and the humor seemed a bit more juvenile. It's more of a standard slapstick, except with an endearing veil thrown over it. It's almost child-like. And yet again, the critics don't understand it. They seem like aliens, trying to get milk from Da Iry. Part of the sheer simplicity of this film was probably due to it being produced by Nickelodeon. I didn't care for some of the CG effects but oh well, maybe next time Hess. I enjoyed it.[/font]
:) :fresh: ---------I believe in science.....666


Nolan proves again that he is the next big genius director. If Memento wasn't enough, here he allows us to see inside the heads of a delirious detective and an unremorseful murderer. Nolan has the ability to put you directly in the shoes of whomever he chooses and does so sooo beautifully that ultimately it almost as good as one's imagination. Pacino is unrelenting as usual and Robin is perfectly on par as well. It was kind of slow during the middle but really picked up in the end. The music was exceptional as well and really captured the theme of the movie.

For a Few Dollars More (Per Qualche Dollaro in Più)

By now, everyone should be aware of my Sergio obsession. While the first movie in the series[ Fist Full of Dollars] seemed cheap and thrown together, what it lacked in budget it made up for with heart and originality.

This being the sequel, there's more of the same....Ennio's music is better, the budget is bigger, the sets are more grand, and the actors are more talented. The only problem is that it fails to fully advance the style...basically does what the first movie did only better. Which isn't a bad thing, but the movie seems sluggish around the middle and I think I was just spoiled by Ennio's later works... but all in all it's one of the better westerns out there. I was very impressed by The Hunchback, his performance was over the top but in a great way.

Twelve Monkeys (12 Monkeys)

[font=Comic Sans MS]In a few words...slightly confusing but all the while entertaining. It kind of shoots out like a rocket, fizzles for a minute and then reaches it's apex and crash lands in your brain. And yes, there are some loop holes and that only adds to the confusion, none the less, Terry Gilliam makes this thing work even though he didn't write it. The set's are marvelous and I appreciate them even more knowing the movie was made on a limited budget. Brad and Bruce were both great, although bruce looked more 'out of his element'. This was pre-[i]Sixth Sense[/i]. My main gripe with the movie was the music and sound. Sometimes the sound and over dubbs felt very cheap and perhaps comparable to a B movie....and while the main theme of the movie is wonderful, the rest of the music seemed to be made with a very blase attitude.:fresh: 8.7-------------N--E--Way----nightbat...out[/font]

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

[font=Comic Sans MS]Could I have ever dreamt that I would find a movie that works on every level so wonderfully? Perhaps not. Although my true rating of this movie is 9.5:fresh: , the system which we are bound to won't let me. From the opening scene to the final howl, this movie has Sergio's name written all over it. Extreme close-ups, extreme adventure, vivid settings, vivid characters and of course the beautifully unique soundtrack of the genius Ennio Morricone. Sometimes there's so much going on, you just have to sit back and watch it all come together in the end. Eli Wallach is superb, and just plain fun to watch. And Clint is at the height of his cool, squinty eyed 'No Name' era. At a running time of about 3 hours, it's a bit long, although the jist of the scenes have precedent. My favorite scene is 'the cataclysm of gold', where 'the ugly' runs through a mass of graves with gold fervor supported by a maddening yet hauntingly great piece by Ennio.[/font]
[font=Comic Sans MS]------------------------------nightbat recommends you buy this dvd-----now---you know what you are-----your a son of a [i]oooooAA ooooAA oooo wa wa wa----[/i]666[/font]

House of the Dead

Ok let me give you a run down of this movie:

0:01-opening narration, alright, ok, I'm with you.
0:02-uhhh...not a big fan of the videogame sequence cuts.
0:04-insert blah characters; blond,red head, black chick...ok,ok,ok
0:06-well here it is, the horrible acting.
0:10-insert crappy actors as the captain and ron howards brother.
0:10.35-hmm..crappy dialogue too.
0:13-well breasts, so this movie is getting better.
0:16-an old tale of murder in a grainy cheezy film grain style about the isle de muerte, yeah that's original.
0:20-zombies..finally, only we don't see them.
0:20.40-disappointing zombies dammit.
0:21-people are dying without any remorse, sense of loss. insert cliche karate asian girl with not so cliche american pants and even less or perhaps more cliche'd name Liberty. Did I mention she has a penchant for zombie ass kicking.

-----here's where I fast forward-------

0:40-ok, I stopped, and watched 1 min. of this 20 min. action sequence, where these college students kill 1,000 zombies matrix style without any pervious gun training. A zombie just did a flip and tossed an axe at the same time plus more video game cuts. fast foward. blah blah blah, people dying, la-di-da, more zombies doopdidoo, more meaningless characters get eaten.
0:70-ok finally the end, oh wow, the spanish fencing master zombie takes on the redhead who just happens to be a fencing master as well. Oh wow, they both get killed but the narrarator lives.....good thing that was over.

do not see this not even for laughs

Wedding Crashers

Completely great. Vince Vaughn is on point. You come to realize the characters early on, their nuances and behaviors. [Their crazy brotherhood, Owen's conscience/sheep/partner mentality and Vince's demanding/nuerotic] The story is extremely well paced and the laughs come strong and hard [yeah baby, much like myself, you know it, ok horrible jokes aside].

The previews didn't do this movie justice, I honestly thought it was going to be crap. It seriously gives The 40 Year Old Virgin a run for it's money. Plus the cameos are great. Very re-watchable [ I just made that word up].

The Aristocrats

[font=Comic Sans MS]Somebody tell me why 80% of these guys are comedians. Because I thought the most important criteria for being a comedian is that you have to be funny. The original joke this is based on is somewhat funny, actually I was the only one who laughed when Jay Marshall told it. But where these guys take it [Sagat and Gilbert Gottfried] is very unfunny and almost as if they they've told it sooo many times that the joke has lost it's edge despite the sheer raunchiness of it. They're so deep in their own comedic ethos that they struggle and fail and lose sight of what is actually funny. The movie's only saviours are genuinely funny people...Robin Williams, Andy Dick, Eddie Izzard[haphazardly], Chris Rock, Howie Mandel, The amazing Johnathan[especially in the dvd extra's], Otto and George [seriously hilarious throughout], and Larry Storch. But the rest fail to prove why they're considered funny, especially those with ties to old hollywood.-----------------------no likey-----6 1/2[/font]

Underworld: Evolution

[font=Comic Sans MS]OK, first of all, I like vampire movies. I have seen the best of them, and unfortunately the worst of them. This would fall precisely in the latter category. From the start you are going to be confused, the story takes a nice Medieval turn, which I liked, but then the story gets so confounded and polluted with so many names and faces that you lose your 'wait a minute who's that guy?...he did what?'. It takes another 20 minutes before you catch up and yet still by the end of the movie, your a bit confused. It also didn't help that the dialogue was very pedestrian, as well as the pace of the film, editing and so on. There were no real surprises, no suspense, the action was merely average, the visuals were probably the movie's only saving grace. It took several liberties with the lore of vampires and werewolves...and I didn't mind except nobody bothered to explain anything. SURE Kate is very beautiful[don't get your hopes up as my friend did, the love scene includes mainly her naked...abdomen], but that alone can't save this thing from drowning because it's own story is so wrapped around itself that no one could enjoy it.-----------------nightbat didn't expect much though--------+ scott speedman was a lot less blue in this one.[/font]

The 40 Year Old Virgin

[font=Comic Sans MS]When I first saw this, literally the whole theatre was vibrating with laughter. I figured the reason why it works so well, is the realism. You believe the story, Steve makes it work so well, you see inside his life[ the egg salad story, the video games, the to do list on the fridge that includes [i]sleep[/i]]. The jokes are also realistic and the characters, be they stereo-typed or not, are for the most part very realistic. They actually reminded me of my own former workplace....a lot. I think in particular I was the Paul Rudd character, only to a lesser degree. I don't know how they're going to top this one but shiit it's worth a try.----------------------nightbaty likey likey----666[/font]

Wolf Creek
Wolf Creek(2005)

In my lifetime[short, yes, I know], I have seen a lot of crappy horror movies. Now if that is a result of the amount of crappy horror movies made opposed to the amount of good or my poor movie choices, I can't tell you. But I can tell you that this movie was only mostly crappy.

Now this is like a hybrid, Texas Chainsaw Massacre meets The Blair Witch Project. It had some near knee rattling moments but most of them were brought upon by the two main girls tragic stupidity. The violence wasn't that outlandish because the director wanted to convince you that this was a 'true' story[ common sense alludes to the opposite though]. The only other set back was that the Mick reminded me totally of Harlan Williams the comedian.

March of the Penguins

[font=Comic Sans MS]"Only the most hardened soul won't be moved by this heartwarming doc."[/font]

[font=Comic Sans MS]Well, my soul must be at least made out of brick. Through brick can be broken, my soul remains mostly intact. I am a fan of Animal Planet, but this is for people who have never watched an animal documentary with an orchestral soundtrack and a humdrum narrarator. It did have some truly beautiful moments [when the females first return to the water, a lot of the scenic shots] and those darn baby penguins are adorable. But overall, although it offered some interesting facts this movie won't be creating any 'save the penguins' fanatics....not because it lacks the power to do so...but because most of the people who praise this movie are hypocritically self minded.--------nightbat---loves---turtles----------------6-1-1--yo!


Super Troopers

[font=Comic Sans MS]Shit Troopers.[/font]


Goodfellas is a film where everything works great but it's overall appeal misses the mark, slightly. This film was a blatant slap to the face, a bullet to the head of the viewer. And yes, viewer discretion be advised, because that literally happens. The film portrays the mob as the grime that they are, and yet shows how they can become so enraptured by their own lives as to not care about anyone elses. It also doesn't fully condemn that lifestyle either. Although anyone with half a brain could realize that it's not your average day at the office when you have chop up someones body and bury it in the boondocks somewhere. What really bothers me, is that Henry Hill had everything, and he throws it away out of greed and a severe lack of any intelligence. He's destined to fail, they all are. These men aren't friends, they aren't brothers, they're united by one thing, the ability to encriminate each other. I've heard you have to watch this one twice. So maybe one day, this review will be updated but until then, it was a great movie, with a great soundtrack, with characters that are complete assholes....which is the downside of the whole debacle.

The Graduate
The Graduate(1967)

:) [font=Comic Sans MS]Life, it goes by fast, before you know it your a 21 year old college graduate set to enter the 'real' world, seemingly unprotected, a pariah, your former self is lost somewhere in your former world and you might not have any hope for the future even though, it's right there in your hands. That's the concept of this film, done very very well by Mike Nichols. The sound track[I love Simon and Garfunkel] fits so well, it only enhances Banjamin Braddock's[Hoffman] depseration and desolation. Though the middle seemed slow, it picks up greatly and soon your on an existential roller coaster, where a troubled young man pushes everyone to the edge only to find himself there as well. I'd give it a 10 except for the few intsances where I felt that Dustin seemed to overplay his character.--------nighty--scuba---pool----sounds--fun----6[/font]


In one word: "wow". In four words: "wow, this is crap."

This is a convoluted mess of a movie. Basically, it seems as if Stephen just slapped together all his favourite movie ideas into one book,[ think:adolescent bonding, telepathy, alien body snatchers and an over powerful military faction that might endanger the world it's supposed to protect], and then doesn't dwell on each subject long enough for it to develope. Also, 'aliens that come out of your ass' we need this.

Walk the Line

In this day and age, stars come and go, hype is piled on hype and nigh a stone is turned as far as musical progress is concerned. Fifty years ago, the world was a very different place, it was feasable enough, to make oneself a star, to raise a fan base and to live your dream. Johnny Cash brought a sort of mysticism, a blurry vision of a man who wore black and sang dark songs. This film depicts that man, and yet still doesn't completely immerse us into his heart. But what we do leave with is an awareness that love and strife can tear the strongest of us apart. What this film does well is paint a great picture, you believe what you see, what you hear. It's just personel enough to suck you in and perhaps give you a few chills. I love the fact that Joaquin sang all of the songs, it really completed the whole feel of the film. Favorite scene: When Johnny and the boys try out for the record contract, and magic is in the air.

8.5 fresh

Shall We Dance? (Shall We Dansu?)

I have been squinting at my memory of this film for quite a while now, trying to flesh some things out. In retrospect, it's an amazing film, it draws you into this contemporary Japanese culture, and keeps you there all the while pondering what exactly Mr.Sugiyama wants. It's a story of the everyday man realizing that his dreams are not what he thought or what was shown to him: a nice house, a wife, a good job, and maybe he needs something else. The vague relationship between him and his instructor Mai is what bothers me though [what exactly was he pursuing with her?]. None the less, this film is very funny and really entertaining.

Mystic River
Mystic River(2003)

[font=Comic Sans MS]Life stories aren't always pretty, in fact they're hardly ever. This film hits the senses from the first few moments and doesn't stop until your pondering some existential dilemma of your own. Our lives are full of gray areas and catch 22's, this film lays one of those on the chopping block for us and forces us to stare at it's Byzantine existence. It's also a demonstration of subtlety by Tim Robbins who convinces you that one life experience can destroy your every being. Almost a perfect film, the score was also wonderful in a vague cheerfully somber way.:fresh: [/font]
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[font=Comic Sans MS]--------night twas hard to sleep after this movie----66----6[/font]


[font=Comic Sans MS]First of all, I pray this was a comedy. Tampopo means dandelion and this surely was a dandy of a movie, part comedy, part warm hearted food adulation and a tiny bit carnal cuisine porn and a bit "spaghetti" western. I'll let you figure which part was my favorite. This movie was continuously hilarious, and wonderfully zany but managed to settle down for some poignant moments(the wonderfully awkward hobo worship song scene):) . The main character, Goro, satires the "spaghetti" western formula to a "T", hat and all, and so the story starts with a western showdown outside an eatery(saloon) with some beligerent drunk instigaters. It moves from there like a spirit evoking food perversions thoughout an entire world, spanning through several characters and situations all centering on food. I recommend this to everyone over 20, or anyone who is comfortable with their own sexuality.--------------------------------nightbatttlovesyaksoba----6666[/font]

Secret Window

Well, it was scary, but only because I have a small ugly dog, was wearing a beanie and glasses and didn't shave or take my pijamas off yet. I also love corn. Other than that, I figured it out about 30 minutes into the film and was just staying tuned because I wanted to see if his wife lived or not. So that is that.

The Twilight Samurai (Tasogare Seibei)

This somewhat somber yet hopeful tale shows the complexities of the tradional Japanese life complete with pecking order and menial tasks.

It's a strong story about dedication and survival, shot in a very beautiful Japan. I loved the main character,Seibei , he displayed a solemn, humble will to survive which reminded me of a sort of everyman put in a life threatening situation, it seemed as if he could fail at any moment. Hiroyukisan is really great, demonstrating here that he is a true actor. You will cheer, laugh and perhaps cry for Seibei.

Obscura never cries though, he's too much of a man. Okay, maybe one big tear.

The Last Samurai

First of all, this is an action adventure movie.
Secondly, do you remember when these were good???[Indiana Jones...etc]
Tertiary, this is a damn fine movie.

I like to think of this as a war time drama, an ode to Japan and it's culture and a nod to a forgotten time. Last Samurai is a culture study, a beautifully tragic culture study and a demonstration of Japans will to keep up with the modern world after years of isolation and the difficulties of cramming 50 years of assimilation into 10.

Tom Cruise is at his best and I believe very convincing, his acting is usually more empty than this. Ken Watanabe is really great, and acting mostly in a second language to him, English. The story is tragic but one thing that wasn't stressed enough was that the rebels were considered the bad guys, and here I felt sympathy for them, both sides of the story weren't accurately stressed, but this is part fantasy...and it is hollywood...they prefer to stay away from leaving the viewer with mixed feelings.

Double kudos for allowing Japanese to actually portray Japanese in film.

ga suki des

Gangs of New York

In the opening scenes I had an idea that this was a psuedo Japanese anime made with live actors based in old time New York. Masses died, limbs flew, and blood spurted out like fountains...seemed ridiculous....the characters were just that, total, utter characters...wielding insanely fantastical weapons and sporting equally fantastic costumes [priest with his leather neck guard and cross sword].

After those brief scenes though this movie became an epic, sprawling gem reminiscent of a childs take on an old play, imagination sprinting along without a hitch. The sets were amazing, the world seemed large and bustling with life, the details were all present. The acting was equally great especially Daniel Day-Lewis who fleshed out the world so to speak. His sheer skill in encompassing the character Bill the Butcher was astounding, I never once denied him.

Training Day
Training Day(2001)

[font=Comic Sans MS]Unlike a lot of critics and psuedo-critics, I didn't think the movie was implausible or had too many improbable conclusions. I thought most of it was very conceivable, in the wake the Rampart scandal and in regards to the sheer chaos that LA can be, I think that it is fairly plausible. Although yes, the end is questionable[the coincidences], but it moves so fast and raises a few good questions about justice, not to mention Denzel's amazing performance. I thought it worked well, was shot well, encompassed a decent part of the heart of LA and the acting was great.-----I--am--nightbat--and--this--is--my final thought.[/font]


This movies genius is offset by David Lynch's refusal to discuss the movie in the Stories extra on the DVD. No David I don't care [i]how[/i] good that sandwich was back in 1975. Please David no one cares about some camera mans driving ability...pleeeease just tell everyone that Henry is an alien who was transported here to impregnate our women but has succumbed to the pressures of being a father and human life so he decides to murder his own baby in order to free himself of his burden.

Otherwise it's very very very beautiful, and mesmerizing and some of the imagery will stay in your head for a very long time.

Pink Flamingos

[font=Comic Sans MS]How can one go about describing this....[/font]
[font=Comic Sans MS]Let's see...[/font]
[font=Comic Sans MS]If you were to mix the strange attractiveness of a car crash with the putrid smell of a dead mouse that has been in your car for weeks and you wondered what in god's name that smell was, and then throw some repulsive nudity and shit eating and blood and singing assholes[literally], then you might begin to understand the effect this movie makes on the viewer.[/font]
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[font=Comic Sans MS]Worst Movie Ever Made...yes...some of the worst acting as well.----nighbat is not disturbed because he has seen worse on the internet----666[/font]


I'm saying this was delightful, even though I am positive that I have never used that word before. It looked great, the story was great [think old bed time story], it had humor and drama and another least for my girlfriend and most all women in the world...Johnny Depp. Even though he isn't in the movie that much, he does add something of interesting male character.

The film dragged a teeny bit at the end but culminated very well and the finish was very satisfying.


This movie is very well made. The humor is a dark shade of grey. The visuals have murderous intent. And the story is a black cup of coffee, blunt and to the point. One of the best comic to movie thingamagigs ever.


Raging Bull
Raging Bull(1980)

[font=Comic Sans MS]So a dumb goomba uses his head as a sheild and barely pummels his way into a boxing title and a beautiful wife and a bunch of money and some mob connections. But damn does it look beautiful and De Niro just completely realizes the human rhino of a character he plays. Believable and Beautiful.-----nigthbazzle my nizzle---666 yo![/font]

21 Grams
21 Grams(2003)

[font=Comic Sans MS]Wow where do I start??? Maybe at the end or in the middle...[/font]
[font=Comic Sans MS]This film played out like the greatest soap opera ever with some of the greatest actors in silver screen history. And if I'm not mistaken that's actually what it was, except all chopped and mixed like a package of colby jack cheese, yet unlike colby jack cheese this wasn't a wonderfully tasting mesh of a few different things. Don't get me wrong, this movie works and it's partly or mostly because of the Benicio story and the Benicio acting, the guy's a genius. The last 20 minutes are the best though and I almost thought this whole movie was made so we could get to the narrarated montage at the end[ the best part].-------66---nigh--6---tbat....[/font]

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

I love Danny Elfman, I love Johnny Depp, I like Tim Burton, so logic may deduce that I should really like/almost love this movie, when in fact I just merely liked it. Deep Roy was interesting, nearly as interesting as 30 different little people, yet not. Two of the musicals were good and the sets were pretty and breathtaking. Yet the magic wasn't strong enough to make me believe, and honestly while this version had better set design, musicals, and overall feel, I liked Genes' Willy a little better. Johnnys' was just too openly outlandish for me [perhaps a little too Michael Jackson-esque], save a few humorous parts.


War of the Worlds

What the hell? The first half of this thing was mostly bearable, had very realistic and somewhat believeable sequences, too bad I can't say the same for the last half. Tim Robbins was great, partly because I love insanity(also his comment on 'occupations'). The unexplainable actions of the son, Robbie, as well as, his unexplainable survival when all else died, is unforgivable. I liked the bacteria infestation closer but it perhaps happened a little to fast to be logical. This is though a midly interesting commentary on how an occupation can shatter ones life in many ways. The ending was just plain crap, yeah, and I'm sticking to that.

Land of the Dead

umm...apart from the intriguing concept, this thing just gets worse from the beginning. About 80% of this movie was as charming as watching sky flowers, and not the kind you buy in Mexico that blow off the little fingers of ignorant children but the kind that are deemed safe and sane by the government of California.


In many ways I have foresaken this movie, friends have let me borrow it[to no avail], critics praised it[again no luck] and finally DVD fever took hold of me. I bought and bought and spent my motorcycle savings and finally this movie ended up in my collection, due to the fact that I like to buy movies I have not seen but know that I will love or am supposed to love.

And yes, like the messiah, this movie has forgiven me and it's beauty was beheld by thine only, me. And yes, like our saviour, it has filled me with kindess, love, and a laughter that was as infectious and loud as that SARS disease. This movie is without flaw, funny, loving and beautiful to look good as it gets[no not that movie].

in loving memory and hi-def

Road to Perdition

[font=Comic Sans MS]Great ending, great movie, great actors. Funny and at the same time joyous and sad. You can't help but feel for the kid, and his father and their journey. Wonderfully shot, and great music. Almost as simplistic as this review yet layered over with humanity.[/font]
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[font=Comic Sans MS]8.8:fresh: [/font]
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[font=Comic Sans MS]nightsbats[/font]

Blade Runner
Blade Runner(1982)

[font=Comic Sans MS][size=1]Once in a great while,[/size][/font]
[font=Comic Sans MS][size=1]there comes along moment.[/size][/font]
[font=Comic Sans MS][size=1]When you mind moves for miles,[/size][/font]
[font=Comic Sans MS][size=1]and you reach atonement.[/size][/font]
[font=Comic Sans MS][size=1]Bring forth your forlorn spirit[/size][/font]
[font=Comic Sans MS][size=1]and pray for a revelation.[/size][/font]
[font=Comic Sans MS][size=1]Pray for your savior.[/size][/font]
[font=Comic Sans MS][size=1]Pray for your salvation.[/size][/font]
[font=Comic Sans MS][size=1]If truth comes now, don't fear it[/size][/font]
[font=Comic Sans MS][size=1]but embrace your emancipation.[/size][/font]
[font=Comic Sans MS][size=1]This movie will leave you[/size][/font]
[font=Comic Sans MS][size=1]in a state of divination[/size][/font]
[font=Comic Sans MS][size=1]ridley scott may make too[/size][/font]
[font=Comic Sans MS][size=1]many illuminations.[/size][/font]
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[font=Comic Sans MS]best sci fi movie ever made. may it stand the test of time.:fresh: [/font]
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[font=Comic Sans MS]nightbat666[/font]

Sin City
Sin City(2005)

In retrospect, my love for this movie is quite larger than I had previously thought. Beautifully shot, almost completely wonderously acted, and with a heap of violence and a look that cannot be duplicated, this is one of a kind film. Mickey Rourke has made his long over due comeback[yes!] and Bruce Willis conitnues to impress. I would wish that you enjoy it as much as I did, the lack or abundance of color beaming at you, and just watch and believe.

the good: Neo Film Noir with a dose of grit and tarentino-esque violence, two amazing stories....along with some great one liners.

the bad: Micheal Madsen[acted like a block of wood], Jessica 'where's the nudity' Alba, and the middle story[lagging immensley compared with the other two].


The Princess Bride

[font=Comic Sans MS]No, not the bible, The Princess Bride, and no I am not gay. Witty and simplistic, sad yet jovial, always exciting and always beautiful, this is one of the greatest movies ever made in the history of the planet earth. It also has a bitchin' soundtrack. There are things here for children, and things underscored for adults, slapstic humor with intelligent dialogue, and truly perfect action sequences. Everything in this movie just feels right.....a lot like the premise of the movie....true love.....------I <3 nightbat----666[/font]

The Rundown
The Rundown(2003)

;) [font=Comic Sans MS]I liked this film. If movies were pizza's this one would be a large five dollar cheese. No it's not going to be the best pizza you have ever had, but you don't expect it to be, but it is one great pizza for five dollars, perhaps one of the best five dollar pizza's you have ever had. If movies were pizza's then this one would be a wonderful wonderful five dollar pizza on a low budget day with a large bottle of pepsi. And everyone already knows I love pizza.-------------------------------------------nightbat----is getting hungry?----666[/font]
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IN OTHER WORDS: action was surprisingly great, dialogue was occasionally funny and acting was very passable.[/font]

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Fever Pitch
Fever Pitch(2005)

Unfinished movie I suppose, defintiely in post production. Occasionally funny, seldomly romantic, this movie could have been made with a bit more heart. The connection between Drew's character and Jimmy's was just not believable. The best part about the movie was the soundtrack and the baseball sequences[they seemed very authentic and really captured the game in all it's big light beauty].


Sometimes, expectations are met. Like this movie. The setting was perfect, the acting was perfect, the horse was perfect, the story was perfect, the screen play was perfect, the music was perfect. And yet the combination of all these perfections was the one thing that made this movie imperfect. Definitely a show-er not a grow-er.

Ong-Bak (Ong Bak: Muay Thai Warrior)

Youth is not a time of life; it is a state of mind; it is not a matter of rosy cheeks, red lips and supple knees; it is a matter of the will, quality of the imagination, a vigor of the emotions; it is the freshness of the deep springs of life. -Sammuel Ullman

I say this because Tony is the new Jackie. Yes, he is, but Jackie will always be Jackie, and Jackie will always, hopefully, have the youthful exuberance he always had. It's beautiful though, Tony Jaa is amazing, the punches seem to really connect, as well as the flying knees. Exciting, so much so that you forget the subtitles were even there and that you don't speak thai but one thing you never forget is the fact that no wires were used. This guy like Jackie can fly. Any action fan must see this movie.

8.7 fresh


At the wars as they do at the wars, and at love as they do at love. This film was funnier than expected, and certainly more lovable. I would pick kevin james to be my courts' jester. Will Smith was surprisingly endearing, and not in the least annoying. One of the only romantic comedies I have ever enjoyed.


Where shall I start, the tired story, the heartless script, the horrible effects or the predictable unfullfilling ending??? The best thing about this movie is what it could have been, around the middle eighth, there was a sequence of events that could have led this movie into a wonderful direction, but alas my hopes had to be dashed. The movie ended up being exactly as good as it should have been given the circumstances and limitations.

DO NOT SEE THIS FILM.-----------------------altruism is not a myth

The Aviator
The Aviator(2004)

[font=Comic Sans MS]Wainwright practically opened the movie, which was a giant step in the right direction. Who knew, well besides the avid history channel watchers, that Howard Hughes was such a great character? Who knew, well besides those who saw What's Eating Gilbert Grape, that Leo was such a wonderful professional actor? Ok, probably many of you. This movie was almost too long, and I say almost because about everytime I thought it was, a gorgeously shot scene would emerge and bring me rigth back in. Beautiful movie, grand story, super well acted and triumphantly directed. Movies this large and epic can go one of two ways....good thing that Scorsese took the "right" turn at the fork in the road. I applaud all involved.------words----and music---and moving----pictures---nightbat[/font]

Meet the Fockers

[font=Comic Sans MS]Tired, over wrought and over self-conscious, no I am not talking about myself. I laughed at a few of the slapstick parts, a few. The words matter naught, well naught more than gibberish from a baby. But as a baby the movie could extrude from me a few moments of pure, real laughter. And for that i give it a 5 out of 10. The truth serum scene was probably one of the best and most thought out, and dabbled in the embryo of real writing and comedy....reality and actuality.[/font]

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

I greatly appreciated this gem amongst the sedimentary rocks that compose most major films. I loved the sets, the dialogue, the characters [with the exception of 80% of Ned]. I was bothered that Owen Wilson kept falling out of his accent. But other than that the film should be revered as a miracle of contemporary major film making. or something like that.


Gray's Anatomy

[font=Comic Sans MS]Can Saplding get any greater? Just as the philipino psychic surgeon, this movie will rip your guts out...except with laughter not some voodoo psychic power. This is the covenant to all spoken word and it should be worshipped as such. Now focus and listen and laugh and learn.[/font]

The Incredibles

Nice...funny...action packed...well crafted...well written...another hit by the always thinking boys at Pixar. They're ingenius though, in making these movies that literally anyone can watch and love. I had a particular affinity for the mini-movie in the beginning. Their take on humanizing superheroes was wonderfully fresh and paid off in laughs as well as just plain old heart warming story telling.


[font=Comic Sans MS]I have divided the world into two types of people: those who like Saw and those who don't. I fall into the latter(and more intelligent group if I do say so myself).[/font] This movie had me at hello and then lost me somewhere before we promised to call each other. The ending was illogical and appalling and I've seen better acting in student films. Honestly, if you are thinking about seeing this movie-go rent Seven or Silence of the Lambs.

Shaun of the Dead

You know how it is when you talk to someone, you have a crush on, for hours in the middle of the night sitting on a lonely platico amidst the stars? Well imagine the feeling right after that moment? Now factor in the fact that she just broke up with her boyfriend and he still calls her, and thats how I feel about this movie. So overall, some extremely wondeful parts that any evil dead fan would love.....[uh yeah whatever that means]


Because I can't give it a 8.5. Have fun and enjoy your meal. Great popcorn action cinema.


I ****am *****still**** unsure.**** Existentialism perhaps, pure randomness of life, feasibly. I still don't like the ending either way. But Michael Mann is amazing he paints a wonderfull gritty almost demented picture at least until the end. Tom is very professional and shows us that he still has some acting chops, perhaps my favorite role from him....perhaps. And this could be the only film that I don't despise Jamie Foxx in. So, well done, Michael Mann, well done.

The Village
The Village(2004)

One day this will all make sense. This is not a horror movie, it is a warm drama built around the love of two people who happen to live in a completely contrived world full of monsters and fantasy. This movie will not scare you but will impress your ears, eyes and almost your cold black heart. It may be even better in retrospect. But until then, it has slightly failed in it's execution.

Napoleon Dynamite

There are people like this, I know them, no... it's not me you idiot!

A funny movie made completely of nuance. I liked it and if you have any nerd in you, you will too. This film is sooo out there, but inherently tied to the real world, that it pulls off this timeless, pseudo-reality with comedy undercurrents thing and it just all gels. This can probably never be repeated which makes it even more special.

Fahrenheit 9/11

This rock spins, fatser than you could ever concieve. Turning, exposing the light to your eyes. The holes you experience through, shape the light into objects that are then interpreted by your brain. My brain tells me that Bush is the worst president since...ever...I guess, yeah worst president ever. I hold him, his puppet master father and all of the greedy, slimey, yellow, racist, narrow minded assholes associated with them accountable for all the grief, lives lost and worlds destroyed. I hope, if there is a god, that they all burn for eternity in hell.

that said. This film is undoubtedly one sided, could be the right side but one sided none the less. So the rating drops down to a 7.4 , it's well made and the message may be nice.

Kill Bill: Volume 1

Time has passed and my fury has subsided. The embankment softened the crash and now I felt fit enough to view that which I had so nearly dreaded. This movie was not Quinten attempt to destroy HKAC as we know it. It was a tribute to that which he loves. And what bad ass tribute it is.

Spider-Man 2
Spider-Man 2(2004)

I was lost, looking, searching for the one thing that would right my life. So was spiderman. This movie is uplifting to say the least. It illustrates a world that is without love is no world at all. So see this movie and love it, Sam Raimi is an amazing director. I could see elements of his former glories shining through his new hollywood polished skin. Very Good movie. Even better than the first one.