Mr. French-Toast's Profile - Rotten Tomatoes

Want-to-See Movies

This user has no Want to See movie selections yet.

Want-to-See TV

This user has no Want to See TV selections yet.

Rating History

Sin City
Sin City (2005)
12 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

[url=""][/url] [img][/img]

I am just excited about the release of the Sin City movie. I read the comic from the beginning and found it to be just the starkly human piece of fiction that i needed after reading the new X-men series (it doesnt matter that the x-men are teenagers if you can get the old stories right). Hopefully this will be one of the greatest comic-screen adaptations of all time, but i doubt it will be. I actually expect one of the cheesiest pieces of cinema since Dick Tracy came out.

well, it doesnt matter if we see the birth of a new low in movies, or if it rocks beyond all comparison....i will be seeing it hoping for Miho, and Marv, and Hartigan to be kickin some serious ass. I hope you will join me.

Donnie Darko
Donnie Darko (2001)
12 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

[img][/img] i loved this movie, so im gonna put some thought into the review. coming soon.

They Live
They Live (1988)
12 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

They Live is the story of far distant aliens traveling to our planet and slowly, taking over through subliminal messaging. They can pass as humans because of some sorta fancy beamy thingy, which is a good thing because they look like hamburger meat with teeth without it.
The movie starts with roddy piper (yeah, the wrestler) walking through train yards and poor mexican communities. We can tell hes a wanderer because hes got a hard look in his eyes, the kind of look that say "ive seen it all" (or at least i think thats what they meant his look to say, personally i thought he was confused and constipated for most of the movie. He walks down to work services and is sent away. He walks (get used to this, itl be a constant theme) to some construction site and gets himself a job. At the end of the day, after an obligatory comment from the jackass boss "theres no sleeping here, park you a** somewhere else tonight" and "you dont get paid till thursday", he ends up WALKING to some sort of shanty town. theres all kinds of wierd things happening at the shanty town, priests are blind, people are interrupting cable t.v., and the church across the street practices the choir till 4 a.m. in the morning.
Roddy Piper, being the sort of genius we all know him to be, figures out something is wrong and investigates the following day. What he finds is the source of the cable interruption, hundreds of boxes of cheap sunglasses and some sort of freedom fighters (convenient that they were so close, god forbid roddy piper might not be able to walk somewhere in this movie).
The freedom fighters all get busted up, the shantytown is destroyed and piper manages to escape the hundreds of police with a pair of the shades. now im gonna skip ahead here a little cause...frankly, he just walks for about the next five minutes of the movie.
Putting on the glasses he realizes, hey, i look stupid in these. Just kidding, what he does discover is that all the posters and advertisements and billboards all say different things. This is one of the best parts of the movie because all the signs say things like "obey" "no independant thought" "consume" and so forth. Even the magazines say it.
This is where the real plot shows up, when someone shows up to buy a magazine Roddy, looks at him and sees, some sort of monster. Walking into a grocery store he sees more of the undead beauties. After a little confrantation they realize he sees them and he proceeds to kill two cops and smash one display of flowers trying to escape.
This is where the movie really got fun, he walks into a bank carrying all of the ghoul cops guns and wearing his terminator glasses and declares, "i came here to chew bubble gum and kick ass, and im all out of bubble gum" then proceeds to wipe out the ghouly bastards.

I wont bore you with the details of the rest of the film, ill just give you some highlights.
1. walking around on public streets even with his wanted add on every t.v.
2. kidnapping some ugly woman
3. getting hit in the head with a wine bottle and going through a plate glass window, rolling for a quarter mile, then getting up and...WALKING away
4. getting his ass kicked by his only friend, all over the glasses
5. walking to some meeting
6. more walking
7. o my god they're still walking
8. busting up the aliens broadcaster
9. YAY, Roddy Piper is dead, no more walking
10. Some hot chick screwing a ghoul

Constantine (2005)
12 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

This is going to just be a short bit on constantine, the parts that rocked, the parts that well...didnt. Constantine was based on a DC comic book entitled HellBlazer. Its a great comic book, but the movie fell a little short of its pen and ink roots.
Now, its in the casting of neo that i have the most issues. I should have seen it from the instant they began production of a constantine movie. im sure this is how the movie pitch went "we need an actor that can play a hero against evil, unstoppable creatues that are out to use us for their own enjoyment. now who do we know who can play that?" In the comic book John Constantine is English, and is blond, very blond. Now i have nothing against Neo in general but he does tend to plod his way through all his movies with the exact same expression and his wispy, tough guy voice. Actually i do have one thing against him, HE NEEDS TO GET A TAN. In every movie ive seen him hes transparent.
The movie itself is very cool, very stylish. The half breeds, on both sides are seamless in transition from human to otherworlder. The representation of hell as an apocalyptic version of the real world was nothing short of amazing.
The plot missed in a couple of places. Sometimes i felt i was missing something vitally important (maybe it was there and Neo just mumbled his way through it).
The characters were cool too. Gabriel is awesome, and Gavin Rossdale as Balthazar was great. As far as action goes, nothing incredible choreagraphically but the fight between constantine and Balthazar is great stuff (and the holy brass knuckles kick a lot of ass). Thats about everything i can think to say on constantine right now. It gets a 8 from me, and if you dont like my thoughts then you can go F***K yourself.

Garage Days
Garage Days (2003)
12 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

I thought this movie recieved a lot of bad press. The best rock and roll film ever, certainly not but definitely not the worst i have ever seen. Really its not a movie about rock and roll but about a struggling band and their difficulties with life, and thats what comes through on film. By the end of the movie you know all the characters better than you would in most rock and roll movies (i direct your attention to the absolutely terrible "rock star" with marky mark) and you truly come to an understanding about their issues.
That being said i think i can focus on what i found to be best about the movie, the comedy. This was so much funnier than any aussie "comedy" that i have seen in years (see the collected works of Yahoo Serious for information on bad aussie comedy). From stitch removers in the buttocks to hairy, washed up rockers in man-kinis, i laughed the whole way through the film. It wasnt just physical comedy though, there were a lot of visual gags as well. When the lead singer gets a stitch remover pulled from his arse by his ex girlfriend a huge expletive literally flies across the Australian sky, trailing exclamation points. When the band needs to come up with the money to make a demo tape, their different ideas to make money end hilarilously. If you think the night club part is good, wait for the rolling koala fight in the street. Also the sequences entitled "fun with drugs" are worth a look (i always thought the sydney opera house was funny looking but wow)
Unfortunately you cant escape the sappy love story in the background, as well as the friend against friend over a girl controversy that inevitably rips the band apart. I dont have a problem with love stories, but this one was wholly unoriginal. The only exciting or interesting thing about it was the introduction of a melon in diapers named simply "melly". Theres also a cheating on the girl story that follows the movie till the last few scenes that ends rather interestingly. Itl put a whole new perspective on "a mind f***k".
And of course you have the rock and roll. by simple but clever twists of narrative and staging you never actually hear or see the band play until the near end. When they do you'll understand why but you wont be disapointed by it, because this movie wasnt about the band's music, it was about the band.
Well, thats probably everything i have to say on this movie. i would have given this a 9 out of ten detracting the insipid love story, but even the dialogue lags in some places, wanting to be clever but falling just short. however i think this is a strong enough comedy to be seen on that level so ill give it a 8.