OldSchoolHollywood's Profile - Rotten Tomatoes

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Rating History

Karma Police
Karma Police (2008)
8 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

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This film played at the Belioit film festival, where my friends and I, all film buffs, were excited to see a movie based on the successful song by Radiohead. In all honesty, before I begin, I would like to say that the reason I've been motivated to write this review is because Karma Police was, without any exaggeration, the worst movie I have ever seen.

Allow me to explain.

Every character in this horrifyingly long and drawn out bore-fest is one dimensional. Completely and totally. There are good people and bad people. That's it. Oh, and the moral of the story is that everyone gets what they deserve in the end. So, 9/11 and Hurricane Katrina, the Holocaust, the Country of Haiti...need I go on?

I wonder what horrible thing I did to deserve the punishment of sitting through this film. Honestly. It was over-indulgent, predictable, horribly scripted, lazily directed...it's as if a twelve year old wrote the entire thing for a school project, the night before it was due on a napkin.

The movie didn't touch upon the hindu concept of karma once. To say the plot was a template for any boring spy/action movie would be a compliment this film does not deserve. There was no action, no jokes, no romance, no mystery, no anything. Just dialogue.

Bad, bad dialogue.

The plot holes are everywhere. A guy is watched under tight surveillance for years without noticing by a Global Corporation called the Karma Police. They spy on lots of other people, too. They judge whether those people's actions are "good" or "bad", and punish/reward them accordingly. As if invasion of privacy is totally ok.

Then, when the Karma Police turn on the poor goober (who's never had a negative thought in his hallmark life) he is suddenly able to sneak around them and spy on them, using the minor equipment they gave him, without being noticed. Of course. Totally. Makes perfect sense.

Only if this movie were made by adults for children would it be acceptable. Unfortunately, it was made by a child, for adults. That child, seemingly in his 30's, answered questions after the viewing. My friends and I got up and left before anything could get in our way. While they are each trying their hardest to erase their memories, I am here on my cpu, trying to stop anyone from seeing this film. It's for your own good.

Oh, and it has nothing to do with the song. Or karma. Or anything.

Hellboy II: The Golden Army (Hellboy 2)
8 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes
½

[font=Book Antiqua]Hello. Hellboy II was a significant improvement from the original. It was funnier, had more action, and actually felt realistic. This could either be from the lack of cgi (del Toro made a point of using costumes) or from fantastic screenwriting/acting...[/font]
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[font=Book Antiqua]My guess is the acting. There aren't many who would find a scene with a demon and a fishman (Hellboy and Abe) getting drunk together and singing along to lovesongs realistic by any stretch of the imagination or suspension of disbelief. But It works. By God it works. [/font]
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[font=Book Antiqua]Everything from the relationship between Liz and Hellboy, to the frightening image of the Angel of Death, to the media coverage of the Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense, all of it is so real. [/font]
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[font=Book Antiqua]That's what makes del Toro the success that he is. [/font]
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[font=Book Antiqua]Taking a ridiculous plot of an otherwise little known comic character and having it be coherant and relevant. [/font]
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[font=Book Antiqua]If you see the film, expect the [u]awesome[/u] to come flying at you from all directions. Not just in the action scenes, either. In every scene. I give [i]Hellboy II The Golden Army[/i] a 9 out of 10.[/font]