Running Time: 101 Minutes
Walking into this film, I was thinking about a supernatural movie. Some type of monster that supposingly lives in Antartica. And then I went into some research and found out it was based on a comic book. A crime drama it seems. So maybe, a crime drama on the supernatural. Like kills that dont come by very often or just sick rituals. After seeing the trailer, thats exactly how I thought. Could I be so wrong? I guess everybodies guess was as good as mine. Unless they read the comic book. Boy, was I wrong. Kate Beckingsale, a natural beauty tags along Domonic Sena. The guy that brought us the interesting thriller, Gone In Sixty Seconds. So this is it right? Ultimate thriller. With hot girls and cool cars? No, its frat parties in bunkers, snow mobiles, sleds, beer in dry ice, and Kate Beckingsale. Guess which one is better?.Its obvious but guess. Despite me walking into the unknown, I kinda felt the film would be a brainwash and somewhat disappointing adaption of some snowy murder case that plays out like every other murder case. So instead of the fountain of youth and originality, its the youth of profound cliches. Despite its clear flaws, you can always hope that this film will end up as cheap fun or a guilty pleasure. Yet a guy whos in retirement comes out of it to do one last case that would probably be the case of his life. Literally.
The murder mystery case comes about in the opening sequence where a plane crashes. Some say incidental, some say foul play. So why not make an investigation. Why not introduce Kate Beckingsale in a shower scene where she tells a guy that shes in the shower. Like the audience is stupid and the characters are deaf. But what seems to trouble me is that she finds all her answers by talking to people. Well not all of the answers but key. That is some intelligent agent. If thats how it works, everybody is a winner. A lot of cliches takes course in this film that sincerly slows the film down. Like a part where she gets chased by a unknown killer, wakes up in her place with a bad dream, bumps into a man, tells him ?hows his chin?, and he replys ?hit you in the head?. What kind of message does that tell you? Maybe hes the unknown killer. How many times does a film let you on like that. Wether he is or not is not the reason for slowing down. Its the scenerio that sets it up. Your like ?what the hell, I?ve seen that before?. And I say, ?yes you have?. Does it have to repeat? Most likely. And it seems every agent has some past that blinds their future. As if they are not sure what to do or sometimes halted. Why is that? No monkey off the back equates to complicated scenerio. A large part of the film tries to reveal secrets and often create more mysteries. It doesnt quite solve it all until our hero feels like its the end of the world and everything must be stopped or supposingly earth is in danger. When it really is just her or Antartica but who lives there.
The probability of seeing this film as CSI: Antartica is probably the correct answer. Just a bigger budget and its one long episode. Where everything is scientific and past events conclude to embodiments of truth and self conscience. Is it worth ones while? I highly doubt it. Its highly boring for the first hour until it turns out into nonstop fistfights. Where Kate becomes Selene and just topples every enemy in her path. Just no guns, only pickaxes. So my idea of the supernatural seems quite false and I feel incredibly dumb thinking so. Maybe the trailer shouldnt had made that eerie noise every time someone falls into a pit. Then again, the film industry is a lie.
When you can see the different twist coming and the plot seems predictable, your kinda hoping that someone gets naked soon. Otherwise, why should I bother. Kate?anything? There are no penquins, no sealions, no polar bears, only the snow that has more screen presence then the cast. Then you think to yourself, ?boy did I waste 12 dollars? and such a response is natural. There is a little hope in the end, and then it shoots you down with a spear gun and drags you across the icy field until the whiteout shadows your every thought and is no longer relevant. Maybe the Whiteout forced Domonic to be blinded. In the end, he just crams together crap while resolving with the novel or book. It doesnt even matter now. Because the movie sucks.
Other then Snow and Kate, nothing really comes to life. Just crap and flashbacks. Does that soothes anyone or interest anyone? No, it doesnt. Yet it keeps happening. A lesson is learned. No one can say what it is nor teach it. Its just shown. Only way to pick yourself up is to do a remake and maybe some nudity in the shower with Kate. Or why not remove the cliches and stop using the special moments of ?us being friends?. It really is getting old. One thing I did like, the soundtrack and how the guy who was behind everything does a major sacrafice and the film ends. Maybe thats two things. But then again, who cares now.
Never does Whiteout exceeds its setting nor is the premise all that exciting, it just disappoints.
Written By: Xou Xiong
p.s - This is horror? WTF!
Another p.s - The Ending is the best!