Alan C.'s Profile - Rotten Tomatoes

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Rating History

Misery (1990)
6 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

DAMN! Misery is a masterpiece in thriller cinema! That doesnt even do it justice. It is one of the scariest movies I've ever seen!

Paul Sheldon is a writer who got his big break writing these kind of romance novels based on a character called Misery. He never really wanted to write these stories and he wants to go on to write better things so in his last book he kills the character off. After he writes a new book in the mountains of Colorado he crashes his beautiful 1965 Mustang (WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE CAR!) in the snow. He wakes up in the house of Anne Wilkes who is an ex nurse and a huge fan of his Misery books. She takes good care of him until she finds out that he killed Misery in his latest book. She goes crazy and keeps him captive so that he can write a new Misery book.

Now the movie might not sound that scary. But Wilkes turns out to be a murdering psycho who deliberately cripples Sheldon and kills anyone who comes looking for him. She's a complete psycho and she's scary as shit.

The ending is great! It's one of the best climaxes in a film other than Scarface. This movie has fantastic acting and suspense that will kill you! If you want to be thrilled and a little grossed out then check this out!

Memorable line: "You killed my Misery you COCKSUCKER!"-Anne Wilkes


The Host
The Host (2007)
6 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

Asians love monster movies for some reason. Gamera, Mothra, Jet Jaguar, Destroyah, and ofcourse Godzilla. If that stuff is your taste see my review of Godzilla vs. Destroyah.

But this movie is not like those at all! Those movies are cheesy and not serious and thats why they're awesome. This movie is serious, original, and very very good.

A man runs a food stand in Korea near the Han river. One day people see some strange tadpole thingy hanging on the bridge. At first people are throwing food in the water for it and its just a thing of curiosity until it jumps out of the water and starts killing everyone. The thing takes the man's daughter and keeps her in a pit in the sewer with a bunch of dead bodies.

Meanwhile the government says that anyone who has come into contact with the monster has a bad virus. So the man and his family search all the sewers around the Han river for the girl while being hunted down by the government at the same time.

The movie is a little strange but the story is original and the ending is great. I would highly recommend this one!


Memorable line: How many tails does that thing have?

Edge of Darkness
6 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

Damn its good to see Mel Gibson back on screen doing what he does best, KICKIN SOME ASS!

Now first lets talk about the flaws. The movie definitely had them. First off the story isn't all that original although its not a complete rip off. Its the same good stuff, Gibson looses someone close to him and then the vengeful rampage begins. Also there was a scene when he gets kidnapped and taken to a facility, but he breaks free within 5 minutes of us seeing him there and then goes back home. Ya we see him kick a couple guys asses but it leaves you thinking, "Um, okay what was the point of that?"

The movie also had some other flaws but I don't think that they're really important.

Now the good parts of the movie. The acting was pretty good. Mel does his usual routine but he's good at it and the other actors also deserve a mention for their performances. Also the action scenes were very satisfying although they were pretty short. Most of the movie is Gibson trying to find out what was happening to his daughter so most of the ass kicking is saved for the end. Speaking of which the ending is awesome! I thought it was very satisfying and I don't think they could've ended it better.

All in all, Edge of Darkness is your typical Mel Gibson movie but theres nothing wrong with that. I recommend it for some good entertainment.


Memorable quote: Oh and by the way, thanks for not killing me.

Death Race
Death Race (2008)
6 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

In film class we were taught that a Film is made for artistic and and story values. A Movie, is made for entertainment and money. This is DEFINITELY a movie, but hey, I enjoy some mindless entertainment every now and then.

The story is good enough to keep things going. There are some cool twists and I feel that the characters are developed well enough. But the action is really what it's all about. Fast cars, big explosions, and hot girls, it's just awesome. This is really one of those movies where you just sit back and let yourself be entertained.

The story is that in 2012 (ya 2012) the worlds economy has gone down the shitter even more (which will probably happen). The prison system has been taken over by private companies who host gladiator races with their prisoners. Jensen Aimes is a man who works at a steel mill which closes down and in a flash his wife is murdered and he's framed. He gets sent to prison where he is offered a chance to race as the prized racer who secretly died. His job is to wear the racers mask and race in his place. If he wins 1 more race he gets his freedom. All he wants is to get out and get his daughter back, so he accepts.

I really liked the gritty and dirty look of the movie. Everything is dark and dirty and it really puts you in the environment. Another thing I liked is how the warden of the prison is a woman. She holds herself with such a power that if it were a man it would come off as stupid but Joan Allen really pulls off the part. And of course the car he drives is a tricked out Mustang (its awesome).

Now the movie does have problems. Like I said, the story isn't much, but thats not its problem. The real problem is that the editing and cutting in the action sequences is VERY choppy. I guess its a trademark of Anderson's but he just needs to stop it. When there is action I want to see it but many times you feel confused because you cant see. It's not as bad as other films like Batman Begins but people need to make action scenes more fluent.

Like I said, not best picture material, but a damn good explosion of entertainment!


Memorable line: "Now thats entertainment"

Godzilla Vs. Destroyah
7 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

Lol, I just couldn't help myself. My favorite movie critic is James Rolfe from and every October he does a short horror movie review every day leading up to Halloween. Well in his 2nd year of doing this he decided to do Godzilla movies instead of horror movies and his reviews are entertaining as hell, I highly recommend them. Anyway this one looked interesting so I watched it on my Xbox and all I can say is WOW.

Its what you would expect from a Godzilla movie. Bad dubbing, cheesy special effects, and ofcourse big ass monsters beating the shit out of each other. Its just an explosion of entertainment. If your willing to let go of your sense of seriousness and logic and just enjoy an over the top cheese-fest, then this movie is for you!

Anyway, the plot, Godzilla is all burnt up and red and it turns out that because he was made from nuclear radiation his heart is a nuclear reactor (actual explanation in the movie, Im not kidding). So his reactor is melting down due to some explosion from the last movie. If he explodes the world is fucked = we all die. And to make matters worse there are these creatures running around killing people.

The scenes with the creatures are cool. They're like a mix between scorpions, predator, and alien and the scene with them attacking the SWAT teams make me feel like Im watching Aliens by James Cameron. So the creatures all morph into one big ass monster called DESTROYAH (thats literally the way it is spelled AND said). Godzilla's son (yes he has a son) fights it and beats it. But when Godzilla shows up it gets back up and beats the shit out of Jr. So him and Godzilla duke it out in one hugely entertaining fight.

DESTROYAH actually beats Godzilla and almost gets away, but the army use their freeze cannons to kill it. Just then Godzilla melts down but the army use their freeze cannons on him so the explosion doesn't kill everyone. It's actually kind of sad when Godzilla dies because it was a big deal, it was his 22nd movie, he's fought countless monsters and has been so indestructable that its surprising to actually see him die. But don't worry, this is no where near the last Godzilla movie.

This was one of the first Godzilla movies I'd ever seen and all I know is that I was extremely entertained. Compared to the other films, this one is pretty original with all the little DESTROYAHS running around. Now this might not be your taste and thats fine. It's cheesy, it's over the top, and it's ridiculous but it leaves you frozen in awe. I recommend it for a fun watch.


Memorable line: DESTROYAH!