Mike G.'s Movie Ratings - Rotten Tomatoes

Movie Ratings and Reviews

Step Brothers

There's a difference between being an immuture 40-year-old still living with your parents and acting like your 10.

The Rocker
The Rocker(2008)

It's complete teenybopper shit! I was completely stunned. While I'm not sure what I was expecting, I was most certainly not expecting a movie pandering to 13 year olds. I wasn't even going to do a review for this, but now, I HAVE to.

I'm not going to waste people's time with a synopsis, but think of it almost as an ineffective School of Rock with Rainn Wilson (whom I despise by the way). Acting is "meh," story is "meh," and everything else about it "meh." In reality, it probably deserves about a 40% on the Tomato-meter. The reason I "HAVE" to write a review, and the reason I gave it 60%? It exceeded my expectations (which were about as low as you can go), I have a HUGE soft spot for girly teenybopper movies (reference Twilight and Mean Girls), and I was actually entertained (a few decent laughs I might add). Granted, I was completely sleep deprived watching this and possibly drunk. Take that into account should you stumble upon it.

The Secret in Their Eyes (El Secreto de Sus Ojos)

The Secret in their Eyes (El secreto de sus ojos) follows Benjamín Espósito, a retired Buenos Aires federal agent, in 1999 interested in writing a novel about a case he worked on 25 years previously regarding a violent rape and murder of a young school teacher, perhaps to find some sort of reconciliation. The past and present collide in this thoughtful crime thriller where it?s more than just the murder that haunts our protagonist.

I?m rarely disappointed with The Academy?s pick for Best Foreign Film, The Secret in their Eyes is no exception. It?s a nice change of pace to move from the CGI filled meaningless drivel I?m often bombarded with to a thoughtful, inspiring, truly moving cinematic work of art. I was left in awe afterwards thinking about how insightful and important the dialogue was. There is not a single line, not a single frame that isn?t of high importance to the finale, which is both beautiful and poetic.

This is another win for the Argentinian cinema. I haven?t fallen this much in love with a foreign film since The Official Story (La historia oficial). This comes highly recommended, and as long as you can handle subtitles, I believe the viewer will not be disappointed.

Baby Mama
Baby Mama(2008)

Baby Mama stars Tina Fey as Kate Holbrook as a super-driven and successful career women with a biological ticking clock. She decides she wants to be a mother, but after discovering her chances are 1 in 1 million to conceive herself she hires a surrogate (Amy Poehler).

I?m not even sure where to begin. The story doesn?t move, and when it does the viewer is left confused as to why what happened did. There?s a spin in the middle of the movie that didn?t fit, and I could have cared less about the characters. Tina Fey wasn?t convincing as a wannabe mother, and the relationships between each character seemed contrived and forced.

While I did laugh at parts, overall, it wasn?t worth the 100 minutes of my time. I heard it was decent, but I have to disagree. There were about two decently funny parts. One was a squirrel reference and another was about Pam (the cooking spray). If you?re that interested you could probably YouTube the scenes. I suppose if Baby Mama is on TV and nothing else is on, it might be something to flip to.

The Silence of the Lambs

As I just saw this movie for the first time Wednesday, I would like to know why the hell nobody has been banging down my door or screaming at the top of their lungs about how great this movie is. This has become s a love affair my friends.

I?m probably the last person to watch this, ever, so I won?t go into too many specifics. It?s perfect, in every way. The two things I liked best were Jodie Foster?s and Anthony Hopkins performances. While I wouldn?t say I was scared, I was seriously creeped out, and Jodie?s unease around Lecter only adds to the tension. Their relationship is bizarre, but incredibly interesting. Do I really need to continue?

This is a real gem, and a defining movie experience for me. It crept it?s way into my heart and #3 favorite movie slot.

Date Night
Date Night(2010)

The Fosters are stuck in their married-for-years-suburban-two-kids lives. Phil (Steve Carell) is some sort of tax consultant/attorney, and Claire (Tina Fey) is a real estate agent. They?re both overworked and fall into a routine. Everything, and I mean everything about them screams ordinary. The have their ?date night? every weekend (which is they barely can make and has become a chore), PTA meetings, suburbanites, school, kids, hell, even their names are ordinary until they find out their friends are splitting up. Phil?s friend mentions he thought everything was fine, but in the end they were just ?really excellent roommates.? To avoid succumbing to their friends? fate, Claire decides to dress up, and Phil promises his wife to a night out in NYC. While at the restaurant they can?t get a table, so when the hostess calls for the Triplehorns and there?s no response, Phil jumps at the opportunity to be spontaneous and get themselves a table. The problem? The Triplehorns aren?t the best people, and events for a hilarious night ensue.

While the plot is fairly weak, and there are no special performances by Tina Fey or Steven Carell (was anybody expecting as much?), it?s out to make for laughs, which is accomplishes very well. There?s a decent amount of chemistry between the two, and they make for a laugh out loud duo, even though it can try too hard at times.

What I enjoyed about this movie most, I?ve been there. As a married person, I get wanting to break out, be spontaneous, or go to a nice restaurant to be away from... life. Claire mentions her fantasy is to be left alone for a day where ?no one is touching me.? This probably isn?t that funny unless you have someone or something constantly touching you. It?s sweet, endearing, and pretty damn funny, especially... if you?ve been there.


Kick-Ass follows a wannabe superhero who asks himself the simple question, why aren?t there more vigilantes dressed up in costumes fighting crime and helping their fellowman? The answer, because they?d get their asses kicked. Disregarding his friends? advice, he tries it out anyway and learns first hand what his friends were talking about. He buys a costume and gives himself the moniker ?Kick-Ass.? After getting his ass kicked the first time, he doesn?t learn his lesson. During another excursion he accidentally gets involved with real masked ?superheroes? (Big Daddy and Hit Girl) getting Kick-Ass, subsequently, involved with some real bad guys.

While the premise is fun enough, I had serious issues with the movie itself. First, the objective to the movie isn?t clear. It clearly isn?t about helping your fellowman, and in the end, in my opinion, all the main characters, in fact, were villains. We like Hit Girl and Big Daddy because they take on the big bad drug industry, but in the end, their morals are compromised and really aren?t good people. This is a segway to my second problem, Hit Girl. Granted she?s the best part of the move (good job Chloe Moretz), but she kills without remorse, and she?s 12 (or thereabouts), not to mention the violence that?s committed against her. In the end, I felt she was exploited, and I have issues with violence against children. My third problem, Nicholas Cage. While I don?t like the man in the first place, is really just going through the motions on this one.

The positive: it?s fun. Watching Kick-Ass get his ass kicked is hilarious, and the scenes with Hit Girl are impressively choreographed, really some of the coolest fight scenes I?ve seen. It?s crude and violent to the extreme. While it?s not the best movie of the year, It?s definitely worth a rental, and in the end, it?s enjoyable.

The Town
The Town(2010)

Let me start with this caveat; I am not a Ben Affleck fan...at all. In fact, he tends to be more of a deterrent for me. I find his acting between mediocre at best and, well, what?s worse than horrible? When he is in good movies, I find the reason is because of a solid script and/or awesome supporting actors.

In The Town, Affleck redeems himself 10 fold. His acting is spot on and is a force to be reckoned with as a director. As a matter of fact, I will be very surprised if doesn?t get at least a nod from the Academy for Best Director and Best Actor. All the acting is first rate from all involved, Jeremy Renner (The Hurt Locker), Rebecca Hall (Vicky Cristina Barcelona), and a personal favorite of mine Jon Hamm (Mad Men). I also half expect Jeremy Renner to get an Oscar nomination for Best Supporting Actor.

The acting and the directing aside, The Town is a smart, nail biting, edge of your seat crime drama. It is reminiscent of Michael Mann?s Heat, and I?ve heard it compared to The Departed (thanks a lot crappy trailers), but only in that it?s a Bostonian crime drama. This is not a perfect movie, but I will dare to say it?s close. The shootout and chase scenes are exciting, the dialogue is brilliant, the cinematography is live and gritty, and every part is perfectly acted. I was left loving each character and wanted to follow each one after the curtain fell.

This is easily one of the best films of the year. I tip my hat and raise my glass to Mr. Affleck. Keep ?em coming, Ben.

P.S. I?m curious what people from Charlestown, MA thought of their accents. Subtitles anyone?

This Film Is Not Yet Rated

Way too long, way too repetitive, and like the industry it's trying to "expose" as "inconsistent" it does a better job at at pegging the MPAA as being consistent with a bias. Don't get me wrong, I hate the MPAA for how it shapes our culture and its inconsistencies. I personally haven't used it to guide the movies I view for the last decade. And it's not even that Kirby necessarily disagrees with the rating system itself, but that an NC-17 equates to financial suicide. Ultimately, it didn't go much deeper than conversations with people I had in high school about the MPAA. To its credit, I did find the anonymity of of the industry's members interesting and its overall secretive nature, but that could have been accomplished in about 10 minutes.

Iron Man 2
Iron Man 2(2010)

This was by no means a bad film, just kind of boring for me. Probably worth the price of admission, but explosions and CGI does not a good movie make.


Very good, just a little too silly in parts. Also, stupid thing made me cry.


I wish I could give this 85%. The attention to detail in this film made me love just about every minute. Needless to say there were cheesy moments by Cameron and the story itself was a little week. However, it wouldn't be very fare to say The Last Samurai was awesome, and then poopoo this film.