Tico P. From the Vault's Profile - Rotten Tomatoes

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Rating History

World War Z
World War Z (2013)
3 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

First of all I would like to explain my absence from RT. After hundreds of tedious hours writing reviews, I find it frustrating getting as little feedback as I had expected. I thought RT was supposed to be a place not only to read and write reviews, but to discuss and debate. I understand it not being possible to comment on every single review, but getting the "nice review" comment over and over just made me lose interest. Well enough of my yakking, and I'm back for now, and have decided to give this a third chance.


SPOILER ALERT. IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEEN THE FILM DO NOT READ THIS.


Plot: thin 50%
Entertainment: 90%
Shock value: 80%
Humor: 30%

Plot: Gerry Lane (Brad Pitt ) is an experienced former United Nations crisis manager dealing with disastrous global situations. A pandemic, Zombie pandemic is spreading fast, tearing cities and people apart faster than you can say Holy shit.

Gerry and his family are saved from an aggressive rapidly spreading pandemic, and shipped to a US military convoy ship in the Atlantic.

There is a catch; the passengers allowed on board must have a function according to the crisis at hand. Gerry does not want to go back in the field, and is forced to track down the source of the virus or his family will be kicked off the ship and face their fate.

Can Gerry do the job and find a cure saving mankind?



Sounds stupid doesn't it? Well it is both silly and intriguing. But I decided beforehand to put away logic; ignore plot holes, clichés and the "Zombie Mythology" being ruined as a Hollywood blockbuster. In my opinion it really is the only way to watch and enjoy this film.

I have read many negative reviews criticizing the film not being faithful to the Max Brooks novel. I do believe in my case, having not read the book in advance was to my advantage.

Many of my friends have been skeptical to WWZ as I was, but it really is a fun ride. I enjoy the good ones as much as the trashy ones. Being "Dawn of The Dead", "28 Days Later", "Nightmare City" or even "Hell of the Living Dead".

Ignore all the negative press WWZ has received and accept it for what it is, intense fun.


The Good:
These Zombies are mean MF's that will stop at nothing in their path. WWZ is visually striking; eye candy if you will. At times it will have your jaw drop. The pace is exciting and the atmosphere intense.

The Bad:
I can't stand children yelling: "DADDY!, DADDY!" in films. I didn't really care much for Gerry's family subplot, but I get it, this is a Hollywood production that has the mandatory element of love and family. Some of the characters are plain dull and don't even seem affected or traumatized by the Zombie pandemic taking place whatsoever.

The Ugly:
Exaggerated Product placement. What the hell ... they needed sponsors and money. Some parts reminded me of what "28 Days Later" could have looked like if they had the money. I felt a bit conned at parts.


Okay, forget the Bad, The Ugly and you'll be in for a thrill. It has some humor in it as well. Most of it intentional, yet in the theater I found myself and the wife laughing at parts no one else was. I guess that counts as unintentional humor then.

It takes a lot to scare me these days having seen a trillion kinds of these flicks. I guess I kind have got a bit numb over the years.
I didn't hear a single scream in the theater, but did notice people jumping in their seats. Me and the wife saw this in 3D and some parts look amazing and serve their purpose. Others do not work as well.

The only time I got scared the living daylights out of me was when my cell phone started vibrating violently in my pocket. Our popcorn nearly hit the ceiling.

One thing I learned from WWZ: Pepsi can save mankind.

Bam Margera Presents: Where the #$&% is Santa?
5 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

Not much of a film at all, with Bam Margera of "Jackass" fame.

Plot: None
Entertainment: 40 %
Humour: 40 %
Shock value: 40%

Plot: Bam Margera and friends make a bet. If Bam goes to Finland, and doesn't find Santa and bring him back to America, his dorky pal gets to have it off with his wife Missy. The boys fly over to Finland and hook up with Hanoi Rocks star Andy McCoy who gives them directions of Santa's whereabouts in northern Finland. The boys travel by plane, train, on foot, helicopter and finally by reindeer sled. Arriving at Santa's castle is a bit of a letdown. Santa's left a note on his throne claiming to be vacationing in the Bahamas. The boys are devastated and take a bullet train back to Helsinki to drink their sorrows away. Drinking heavily in a Helsinki bar, they find a drunken whino that resembles Santa and take him back to the States, assuring the bet a victory. Santa's fate is in a hot tub with 2 homosexuals. Bam gets a tour bus for Christmas from his wife Missy.

Filmed of course as a documentary, it's very obvious 75 % of the film is staged, besides the pranks and stupid behavior that proceeds on their way to the Arctic Circle.

You know what to expect from bozos like these guys. Farts, rude behavior, vandalism and guys making fools of themselves. The boys eat animal eyeballs, fight with intestines on a train and try getting laid on the way.
Kat Von D from L.A. Ink, turns up at a Christmas party.

Very stupid indeed, but I had to watch it through for 3 simple reasons:

1. What will the guys be up to next?

2. Here in Norway there has been a debate for decades if Santa is in fact from Norway or from our friends up in Finland. I had to see Bam's take on the old fairy tale.

3. I was too lazy to change the channel.


Need I say more ... than this is a film to watch if you're an adolescent fan of Jackass and The Dirty Sanchez, or in my case simply bored. At the time I would have laughed at basically anything without any depth what so ever, even a fly landing on the remote would have been funny.

Do your self a favour for the holidays and put on BAD SANTA instead, for the proper Christmas spirit. (BTW, B.S.is in my reviews)

A Serbian Film
5 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes
½

I saw this last night with the wife, and have to admit this is going to be a tough one reviewing without giving away too much, but will give it a go.


Plot:

Milo is a semi retired Serbian porn star living a comfortable life with a beautiful wife and son. Even though Milo doesn't work in the industry as much as he used to, he barely seems to make ends meet financially.

Milo is one day contacted by an old female porn star colleague, so he agrees to meet her at a fancy outdoors restaurant. She claims acquaintances with an artist, director that desires to make a masterpiece that would set Milo financially for life.
Overlooking the meeting is Milo's brother Marko. Marko is a sleazy police officer jealous of Milo's former success as a porn star and envious of Milo's happy family life.

Milo a few days later is picked up by a limo and driven to an unknown location in the outskirts of the sick city. On arrival at a mansion estate, Milo is met by a crew of suspicious looking bodyguards that escort him to an encounter with a wealthy powerful artist known by the name Vukmir.

Vukmir explains he cannot reveal any of the supposed film's plot, but need Milo's muscle since he has the ability to gain an erection simply by thought. Vukmir also explains that the less Milo knows, the more natural will be the outcome of the film. Milo simply has to do what he knows best, f**k his brains out until his d**k is raw. Milo at first does not agree until consulting with his wife, but returns to the estate and signs a contact.

The first day of shooting Milo again is picked up by a limo. On arrival Milo is handed an earpiece by the mysterious driver. He is escorted by thugs with digital cameras to the location that according to a sign on the main entrance is a supposed orphanage.

From there on Milo is given directions to his every move and proceeds into a room with a woman that performs oral sex on Milo. He notices a little girl in the corner witnessing his actions, finding this inappropriate and complains. Vukmir then explains he would never direct anyone to perform any act against their free will.

Milo continues performing strange awkward tasks for Vukmir during the course of a week, but grows weary and suspicious. Milo consults his brother Marko, requesting a background check on Vukmir.

Not much information is found on the director either than his name is Vukmir Vukmir, or has no known film attached to his name.


READ NO FURTHER IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW THIS PLOT SPOILER TWIST!


After several exhausting days of filming, Milo wakes up confused and realizes he has lost track of 3 days and has amnesia. Milo breaks into the film location and finds the raw footage. Curious Milo watches the tapes and to his disbelief discovers what he had been involved in.

Milo has repeatedly been drugged and been participating in a series of brutal acts of necrophilia, child molestation, rape and murder. One of the tapes reveals Milo and a masked man raping two hooded victims. The hoods are removed, Milo has been anally assaulting his son, and the masked man turns out to be Milo's brother Marko raping his wife. Milo commits suicide shooting his wife and son in the comfort of their home.




Okay, I know most of you are thinking it all sounds familiar and sounds like typical torture porn. Well, both yes and no. I found the first 45 minutes quite predictable, but the film does take a turn and delivers outrageous twists.

Most viewers will be offended, but that is the whole intention of A Serbian Film. Director Srdan Spasojevic explained that the film is meant as a social comment on the politically correctness of our modern day times. Every act of atrocity and brutality portrayed in the film was inevitable to make his point and criticism towards the exploits of Eastern European societies.

A Serbian film was banned from screening at the Fright Fest Festival in London and was released on DVD with 49 cuts. The director admitted in an interview not seeing the new cut, but the message of the film had been altered and was different than his intentions.

I did watch the UK version, and found it quite graphic.
1: A man's eye socket is sexually molested.
2: An infant is physically extracted out of a womb.
3. Milo holds his erect member (as hostage) threatening to cut it off.
The list goes on and on, so one does wonder and can only imagine what the 49 removed scenes were. It could be interesting reading a list describing the 49 cuts in detail, but do we really want to go there? The mind boggles ...

I liked the film and found it even a bit clever at times. It did make me laugh a couple of times, but that was because of bogus film footage of 80's porn flicks, as we have seen in "Boogie Nights". The production values are decent and the acting is credible.

Here in Norway the film was considered too extreme by the censors, removed from further distribution and banned after 2 months of its release. It is currently banned in Brazil, and the only way to see the film at the moment, in its uncut form, is at a midnight screening in Serbia. I doubt I'll ever get to see this in its uncut form and don't even know if I want to, but who knows?

That said, this is another one just like "The Human Centipede 2, The Full Sequence" that will gain a cult status and following. It'll probably be banned in most countries, and its fate will be on most horror film fans hard drives in the future.

My wife managed to sit this one through, and didn't say much after viewing. She did go to bed earlier than usual for a Friday night, and I hope she won't be scarred for life. If I ever show this to my sister in law, I doubt she'd ever speak to me again.

So take my advice, and watch "A Serbian Film" at your own risk. You have been warned ...

I Am Omega
I Am Omega (2007)
5 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

Okay folks ... I'm back. I've had a RT rest for a while, but have no intention giving up.

The piece of celluloid grade Z trash was quite enjoyable. If you liked Richard Matheson's novel I am legend, like me, you should check this out and you'll probably giggle like I did.

Plot: The human race is extinct, and the dead are stark raving mad cannibals. (Vampires in the novel). The last survivor is immune to the plague and plans to blow up the city taking out the Cannibals. Nuff said.

This one isn't half bad despite the mediocre acting. But what can you expect from a martial arts expert in the lead role.

In the novel the vampires roam the earth and are absent during daytime, whilst here they are cannibals with pretty bad latex make up. The novel's character Robert impales vampires with stakes, only to be replaced in this one with nun chucks. A silly excuse for exaggerated action sequences. Still what can you expect from the company, Asylum, that makes these kind of rip off flicks.

Asylum also made Snakes on a Train, The Transmorphers, and The Da Vinci Treasure. What's next ... TWILIGHTERS?

Still I do admire what Asylum was able to create on such a modest budget. It shows, but is still a fun ride if you liked THE OMEGA MAN; I AM LEGEND, and THE LAST MAN ON EARTH. I sat through this flick with a grin on my face, and fans of the novel will probably do so as well.

BTW, I haven't been here for a while, but what the hell happened to RT?


It simply put looks awful.