The Painter and the Thief
The Half of It
The Vast of Night
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Paul Logan looks like he's infuriated by something throughout the entire movie. This is an obvious mockbuster of Piranha 3D, and though I haven't seen that I can understand how this would try to capture its over the top concept and action, but as an Asylum movie (the 6th one I've seen and our 3rd entry in our "The Asylum Presents" movie marathon) this simply fails on every level. The loud, overblown musical score and the ludicrously fast pace makes the cast's earnest efforts seem a little too silly.
Comedic highlights for bad movie fans include extremely repetitive film editing, absurd giant piranha CGI, several very out of place actors, and US marines wielding Nerf guns. These are among the infinite flaws of what may be the abysmal cinematic endeavor of 2010.
Despite how bad it was and how many painful fits of laughter it induced, I must add that the pointless editing made Mega Piranha give me a headache after a while and the ending was beyond comprehension. It'll guarantee frequent laughs, but it's to over-ambitious to be better than The Asylum's other attempts. 03/100
Silent German character study with a masterfully tragic performance from Emil Jannings and innovative tracking camerawork by F W Murnau. Emotionally gripping and the story still resonates. The ending is very absurdly deus ex machina though. Probably one of the defining early works of European cinema and, along with Nosferatu, Tabu, Sunrise, and Faust, validates F W Murnau as the sole creative genius behind German Expressionism. 98/100
There are some funny one liners and otherwise his routine became irritating after a while. For a stand-up comedian, there are better. 69/100