diego's Review of Planet of the Apes
Planet of the Apes(2001)
What was that?
This film, oh, this lovely film, has one monumental problem: itself. The movie is one big, goofy mess that a child could have pulled together. The story of 'Planet of the Apes' should be a reasonably serious one. Apes take over the human race, and many serious themes are touched upon that really make you think. So why was this film treated like it was a comedy? Why was it so silly at times? Tim, I love your quirky style, but sometimes you need to tone that down when a film calls for it. If the script was silly in the first place, that's why you have to have it rewritten. There's a time when there shouldn't be camp in a story. Sure, perhaps the idea behind the story of Planet of the Apes has some camp factor to it, but it's not on purpose. This particular film, and Burton, decide to add and overdo the camp: this is the film's downfall. It tries playing out like a higher-budgeted SyFy film.
The actors costumed as apes couldn't act well under the makeup, I must say. No hint of emotion. You'd think with our advanced ways of making films that we could make a ape face and also give the actor the ability to act. Unfortunately no. While the ape makeup was really very good (but was terrible on some actors...Helena Bonham Carter looked like Michael Jackson), it couldn't hide the fact that the film was a pile a crap. You'd think the humans would pull their weight being that their ape-disguised friends couldn't act. They might as well have put the ape makeup on all of them. Mark Wahlberg showed no emotion. His muscly self walked around all over like it was his boring job. Then the illogical human inhabitants of the planet served no purpose and they didn't help with their acting. The girl "savage" looked like she came out of the fashion studio. Impressive for someone who sleeps in dirt.
You know what? I've decided to talk about the film's story (I originally was not, but I've decided to). So the central character portrayed by Wahlberg gets, I don't know, zoomed? zapped? beamed? (Whatever!) into the future. He lands on this planet where the apes rule and the humans are savages. Let me ask you, do you think these savages could know English? It isn't simple teaching a lesser being your own language. How did the apes learn English? Why don't they have their own language? Then when we get the "big shocker"
SPOILER: that Wahlberg's mother ship with the people he was on the space mission with had crash landed on the planet and the apes took over, it still makes no sense.
Now we have this ending, an ending left open for a sequel which, thank God, didn't happen. 20th Century Fox likes us, I suppose? The ending is silly, to be completely honest, and makes not one bit of sense. The audience is left as confused as Wahlberg's character.
'Planet of the Apes' gets a 20% for the ape makeup for SOME actors. The makeup really did look good. It's a shame it was wasted on this ridiculous movie.