Rob C.'s Profile - Rotten Tomatoes

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Rating History

The Devil Inside
4 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

The only thing scary about this movie is that I watched the whole thing. I still don't know why I did, I must've been possessed. The plot was more thin than an Olsen twin, the acting was more flaccid than Jon Wayne Bobbitt, and the fact that nobody spoke Italian in a movie set in Italy, seemed to make as much sense as hiring Casey Anthony to babysit. The only positive thing I can say about it aside from it being over, is that I drank a really large soda and had to leave the theater 3 times to water the dandelions.

After seeing this "film" the only thing that would've seemed worse would be a biographical movie about Frank Sinatra starring Bobcat Golthwait, where he's a time traveling vampire hunter that wears a rocket pack and can solve a Rubik's Cube through telekinesis. Scratch that, my idea sounds better.

If you think I'm kidding, go ahead and see the movie, but don't say I didn't warn you. I'm not even sure how this movie got even a 7% as I write this review. I enjoy movie that suck as long as it's preposterous enough to make me laugh about it, but this couldn't even fail properly. Nothing has sucked this much since that Dyson combined balls and vacuum cleaners.

I wish I had a time machine to go back before I bought my ticket to this movie. And then I'd go even further back to when this project got green lit, and punch each of the individuals that were responsible for this mess, right in their reproductive organs.

I would punch them so hard, their ancestors would've developed a stutter.

Splice
Splice (2010)
6 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

Dren??? Really???? Spoiler alert!!!!! This movie is going to suck... a lot, and you'll be out $8 and those precious few moments you could've been more happy getting into an automobile accident. I don't want to say that this is the worst movie ever, because oddly enough I stayed through the whole thing. Perhaps I wanted to feel like Alex in A Clockwork Orange, but this movie still made me want to smash eggie-weggs. My lady and I ran into another couple of movie goers outside, and asked what their opinion was. Their response: "It was a movie, and I saw it". Nuff said. I'm not really sure where people are coming from saying that this movie had any merit. The acting was attrocious, the casting was poor, genetecists are not cool rock star types and don't get me started on the special effects. Oh no! You got me started on the special effects! Spoiler alert!!!!!!!! Every creature in this movie looks like it popped out from between a dudes legs. I don't want to get too graphic, but there hasn't been this much inadvertant male nudity since Caligula. There hasn't been this much of a Freudian slip since Freud went to the banana peel factory to watch Brokeback Mountain with John Holmes. Do yourself a favor, and skip this one and paint a splotch on the wall. It's more fun to watch, and maybe read the instruction manual on your dishwasher, because it had better character development than this script.

The Last Airbender
6 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

I am not someone suffering from recent head trauma, but I thoroughly enjoyed this film. Granted the acting is not great, but it is far better than say.... Splice. The special effects were pretty rad, and the story was fun and moderately paced, one might say medium paced with a side of kick-A! I have to be honest that I don't know my bum from my elbow when it comes to Avatar, Yo-gi-oh! and Pokeman type genres, but this one was a fun romp in a bunch of cool settings. All in all if I had my $8 to spend to go see a movie, I'd go see this again before thinking of going anywhere near another movie, say..... Splice. Stay tuned for my scathing review of Splice, coming soon to a rotten tomato near you.