philip b.'s Profile - Rotten Tomatoes

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Rating History

Super Mario Bros.
4 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

Years ago as a child I had the pleasure to see a movie, even as a little kid I thought just stunk. Now this was before video game adaptations started to become an influx in the world of cinema. Saw in 93, and that would be the last and only time until now to see it. That is of coarse the Super mario live action movie. I mean this movie was the equivalent to killing everything I loved as a kid. But after the years and years of putting it off, and seeing a review by the nostalgia critic. I watched it fully and I can gladly say, It's not as bad as I remember it.

Grated it's as bad as a hollywood video game adaptation can get. But after the countless street fighters, mortal kombats (First being the only good one), The resident evils, and even the Uwe Boll shit fests. Super Mario is by far by todays standards, the less terrible. I guess when you get down to it, Mario bros is by todays definition the hollywood's idea of a video game adaptation. Non faithful to the source material and there because they want a quick buck in the pocket from dumb fans who want only to see there favorite characters on the silver screen. But when you really get down to the nitty gritty of it, it does have a small charm to it all. I mean the basic premise, Girl gets kidnapped by dragon, heroes go to mystical land to save set girl. But it does seem to totally miss the whole point of the mario story... not really.

I guess the flaws out way the pros. We have some good things, Dennis Hopper gives the character of koopa a Dr. Evil like performance even before Dr. Evil was created in Austin Powers. You have Bob Hoskins giving a decent performance as Mario, I liked the girl who played Daisy, The world seems like it could have been from a different movie, some the action scenes were kind of good. But really a bad script and mis-casting with luigi. Now don't get me wrong, Leguizamo is a good actor, but as Luigi? No not gonna happen. With the goomba's found them kind of funny and also kind of cool there voiced by legendary voice actor Frank Welker who does fred from scooby doo. There are some more bad things that just feel like they could of done a really good job with what they were given.

But there lies the problem with adaptations. Most of it doesn't work. To some screenwriters they don't know the lore or the license or the story of the game or tv show there adapting. Like with the resident evil movies, Alice was a movie only character, and many people think Paul W.S Anderson made those movies just to see his wife naked... I agree and agree that they are somewhat guilty pleasures of mine, except the last one which sucked badly. But I feel if they did it right and gave it to the right people, The mario games could be adapted in a way like a opera. Perhaps give it to a fan. Look at what they did with the newest marvel movies like the tie ins to the Avenger movie, they were grand examples of good adaptations. And even the original Mortal Kombat was good for a game movie.

If you want to adapt Mario, do it in a way like an animated movie, I feel animated adaptations of games are a lot better. But this movie compared to the newer game movies isn't as bad as some people think now. Compared to Uwe Boll's shit fests this movie is Ben-Hur. It's worth another watch and I feel like it could be done a lot better.

Final Verdict: 2.5/5 (So-so)

Pros: Dennis Hopper's over the top acting, Some Visuals are good, Bob Hoskins not-so bad Mario, Overall Plot kind of interesting, Creature designs
Cons: Not faithful to the source material, John Leguizamo's casting as Luigi, Screenplay really hinders story, Bower's true form really silly.

Spy Kids: All the Time in the World in 4D
4 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

As far as kids movies go, you can give or take them. But in terms of good kids movies, one in a thousand. If you think of bad kids movies, the spy kids movies will fall into that category. The fourth of the franchise and possibly the worst of the four movies. The movies doesn't offer anything new to this franchise. Horrible acting is one of the things that make me want to shoot myself. Jessica alba just keeps showing why she is one of hollywood's worst actresses. Nothing in her deliveries and she just acts like she doesn't care. Joel mchale was just a poor pick for this film as her husband. Jeremy piven is somewhat ok in his role. The dog was too annoying. The kids were just terrible. Even though I found the young boy was an OK role. As well with the visuals were crappy. The original Spy kids come back and didn't inspire me what so ever. another thing was the use of poop jokes. This movie had too much of that. There was nothing that could of saved this movie. This series needs to stop. This was the nail in the coffin. For a kids movie, this just plain sucked. 0/5

The Simpsons Movie
5 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

I will say this, I'm as huge a simpson fan as the next person, I can see 5 seconds of a classic Simpson and tell you what episode. When it comes to the HD episodes, that's another thing. I've sort of had a falling out with the simpsons lately. I believe it started with the movie. I just don't like it as much as I should. Some of it just doesn't click with me as a fan and a follower of this epic show. I love the simpsons, but the movie is one I don't like. There are parts of this movie I like, but some parts I don't. I laughed and frowned at the same time. The plot is just not as good for a simpsons plot, and the character's motives are different then a couple of years ago. (i.e Bart wanting to be a flanders) I give this a low rating because I feel like this is not a simpsons move. Very disappointing
2.5 out of 5

Spider-Man 3
Spider-Man 3 (2007)
5 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

From one decent superhero movie, to a awesome super hero movie, to a horrible super hero movie. Is what I can say about Spider Man 3. I don't know what to say about this train wreck of a spider man movie. Wasted Potential and horrific build up for one, the true reason I went to see this years ago was for Venom and for him to only be in the movie was such a waste. The characters were another thing, I mean Emo Peter doing a stupid dance routine was horrible, I hated Mary Jane in this movie, the fact she came off as such a selfish person made me so angry. And also the fact that they go Eric off of that 70's show to play eddie brock was dumb. The plot was over crowded with too many characters and too much to take in for a casual film viewer was horrible. I'm glad there doing a reamp of the spidey series because starting from square one is a good thing, look at Batman. This movie gets a 1 out of 5.

Final Destination 5
5 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

Why pay money to a franchise which should be dead, when you can see this stuff on "1000 ways to die"! I hate these movies and the fact on how cartoony they are.