Soooo..... Prequel? Sequel? Remake? Reboot? Huh? Well, whatever. Being that I'm an insanely huuuuuge movie buff, I'm wondering if it would come as a surprise to any of my fellow readers that I haven't seen ANY of the Planet of the Apes movies. Well does it? Because I sure as hell have not seen any. Not the original, not Beneath, not Escape, not Conquest, not Battle, and most definitely not Tim Burton's supposedly god awful remake. Walking in to this one, I felt really really uneasy about seeing it, for a few reasons. First, when I want to see a movie I see the trailer and read the synopsis a few times or so. I've only seen the trailer for this one time when I went to see X-Men: First Class. Second, I really didn't have any desire to see this, despite hearing really good reviews. Seemed like a flick where I had to put my brain to work a little bit, where I could've just seen Cowboys and Aliens, a popcorn flick where shit gets torn up! Anyway, so my friend did I coin toss. Heads: We see Rise of the Planet of the Apes. Tails: We see Cowboys and Aliens (Which despite hearing bad reviews, I still want to see, and still intend to soon). Considering which movie I'm reviewing right now, I'm not so sure I need to tell you which side it landed on. Tails of course! No I'm just kidding heads, but wait why the hell am I talking about coins when I'm taking up all of you guys' time? You clicked on that link from that message I sent you because you thought I'd be talking about a movie that has apes killing people. Well you've been punk'd, or Rickroll'd or whatever. You know what screw this lets just get to the review already! Sheesh!!
Alright now that that's over, (NOTE: This is a pretty detailed plot synopsis I'm giving so beware this might contain "major spoilers", and gives away about 90% of the entire film. If you do care about being spoiled, skip to the next paragraph, otherwise proceed at your own risk), this movie stars James Franco as a scientist who has been working for years on a cure to Alzheimer's. His dad (John Lithgow) suffers from it. For some reason, they test it on apes before they get the green light to use it on other humans. So Franco discovers an interesting outcome to one of the apes after the drug was used on her. After an incident, the workers put the ape down and soon was born her offspring. The symptoms of that drug from the female ape was passed onto the offspring when he was born almost immediately when the mother died. The symptom was pretty much the ape being super smart. Franco's character raises it and keeps it for many years, until one day a huge incident happens with a neighbor, and he is sent to an animal control facility where he and many other apes are tortured by Dodge Landon (Tom Felton aka Draco Malfoy). This character makes Draco look like a pussy and please please excuse my language. Soon Cesar (the main ape (Andy Serkis(you may know him best as Gollum from Lord of the Rings trilogy))) develops to that small cage lifestyle, and communicates with the other caged apes, he ingeniously finds a way too sneak out of the facility and retrieves the drug, and soon all the apes become insanely smart, they break out, and run amok on the city and some serious stuff goes down, including toward the mid-end of the film Cesar actually screaming the word "NO!!!" I was so taken aback by that (but in a good way), the last time my jaw dropped like that watching a film must've been when Vader first told Luke he was his daddy. Anyway, soon Cesar would eventually have to confront Franco's character one way or another. I told you to proceed at your own risk. I just told you about 100 min of the 2 hour movie. Don't blame me.
It's great how during the credits, we get the idea that they could be setting up for a sequel, but unlike so many other big action movies we've seen this year, we're not promised one. We're just told that one COULD happen. Would I like to see a sequel to this? Is this worthy of one? Did I even like this film at all? My answer is..... Yes (well, for the most part). Now I've heard so many people rave about this film. Hell, even CO-HOST from spill.com gave it spill's top rating: A "BETTER THAN SEX"! The guys on that site don't give out too many of those. And the thing is, I can see where everyone was coming from this. I can see what everyone really loved about this. Hey I was having a great time. I was sharing some good ol' popcorn, and having two really good hot dogs (and my Diet Coke, sure as hell can't live without that). I think my problem is probably the fact that I walked in thinking I was gonna see a different movie. I thought it was just gonna be big stupid apes, ripping up planet Earth. Well boy was I wrong! But that wasn't a bad thing. The other thing that I will not stress is how long the middle dragged. Boy oh boy, did it drag for a long long time. It must have taken up about 75% of the film. Like 40 minutes for the beginning, an hour for the middle, and 20-25 minutes for the end. That would probably be my big complaint, you could've probably just had taken out the middle and use a bit more screentime for the big action climax. Oh well, it's still fine.
There are some roles that James Franco just puts up a terrible performance at, there are some where hey it's just a whatever or okay go at it, and then there's that 127 Hours performance where your mad a t Colin Firth for stealing his Oscar (I'm mad at The King's Speech for even being made!!!)! So with Franco, you really don't know how good he'll be seeing his history. Let's just say with this movie, the boy went to work. Very good job with this one. Two hours was a good enough running time for this. By the time the end came around, I was thinking Gremlins meets Titanic. Weird huh? It's because at the beginning it's interesting, the premise is layed out, and we have some very very cute shots of this tiny chimp, and then as he grows and does more awesome things, it remains so cool to watch what he's doing, but then at the end, it gets scarier, and he's an evil primate kicking ass alongside a bunch of apes causing a huge war on the Golden Gate Bridge. Seems like Gremlins, and the disaster at the end: Titanic. I don't know maybe it's just my retarded mind saying stupid stuff. Obviously this wasn't like any other review. Not acting my quote on quote "professional" self, and just acted lazy, and said what came to mind, but hey that's what writings all about. Wait how did I get from talking about coins, to apes, to writing? I guess I- YOU KNOW WHAT?? WHATEVER!! I'm out. To sum it up, it was fun, I enjoyed it, and I thought it was good, but not great, and I highly recommend it to everyone. Why do I highly recommend it if I didn't absolutely love it? Because I have a gut feeling that whoever's reading will like it a lot more that I did. Just a hunch, but considering the reviews I've read, I;m sure you'll love it. I'd like to see a sequel I suppose, but Hollywood, please, give it time. Okay? Don't make come down there or I'll- tell you not to make a sequel!!! Ugh... Hollywood. You guys want me to shut up now don't you? Okay I'll shut up now.
Rise of the Planet of the Apes: 7.5/10