Daniel's Review of Daniel - Der Zauberer (Daniel The Wizard)
Personal Score: 0/10
Okay, here's the deal right off the bat: I have never watched this movie. In fact, I'd never heard of it until very recently, when I checked IMDB.com's 100 lowest rated films. There it sat at number 2, and I thought: "Why does the 2nd worst movie have my name on it?"
This is criminal. Of all the names that could've been first to be used among the worst films ever, mine is closest to the top. Even Justin and Kelly (From Justin to Kelly) are looking up and laughing at my name. What a load of crap!
Now I'll never be able to become a wizard in the Harry Potter world if there's another story about it, cause they'd have to say, "There's Daniel the wizard." to which someone would reply, "You mean that REALLY crappy movie?" Why God? Why?
The other bad thing is that there's no company at that spot to make me feel any better. The next names on the list are Ben and Arthur, and guess what? They share the number 7 spot. Now I don't want to minimize how bad it is that their names are there, but at least there's company. Heck, they could even argue over who should be 7 and who should be 8. And even after those two Justin and Kelly share spot number 16, and we all know they're too stupid to care cause they'd just sing about it. Why can't they be at the top?
Daniel is suppose to be a great name. I like it. Daniel stuck it out all night in a den of lions. He wasn't number 2 on a crappy movie list, he was the number 2 to King Nebuchadnezzar, the most powerful man in the world. Now that's some name justification, baby!. Why couldn't they throw Daniel the Wizard in the lion's den and everyone just forget about it?
So anyway, I really hope no one will take that list too seriously. If you've pondered naming your kid Daniel, don't let Daniel the Wizard stop you. It's a great name. I know, cause I've worn it all my life and I'm better because of it. And Ben and Arthur are good names. Justin and Kelly are good too, as long as you don't have both. Now that'd be bad.