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Rating History

Inkubus (2011)
4 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

Inkubus (Robert Englund) spends the evening tormenting the unfortunate members of a police station skeleton crew and Diamante (William Forsythe), the detective who nearly put him away years ago. While it may seem like all fun and games for the crafty demon, he has two objectives: settle a score with Diamante and find a new host for rebirth so that he may live on for another century.

While the film boasts quite a few recognizable names and faces, the dialog is feeble, in stark contrast to the menacing tone and visuals. It's not quite campy and has no flow. A lot of the banter between Inkubus and the officers are laundry lists of past victims dating back to the beginning of time. I get it, he's killed a lot of people, I don't need to hear every name and date. In fact, Inkubus talks more about murdering people than actually killing them.

Englund and Forsythe are always a treat to watch but, yeesh, the acting by the rest of the cast is shameful. It's a baby step above porno-grade. (This coming from someone who watches a buttload of indie and low budget horror.) Speaking of pornos, there are two sex scenes, neither of which contains any nudity, despite the casting of rather well-endowed actresses.

The entire movie is one, long teaser of things to come and therein lies its colossal weakness. Scene after scene, I was itching for Inkubus to go postal on someone, anyone. Is that too much to ask from a beast that, in the beginning of the film, shows up with a decapitated head and a vehicle adorned with dismembered limbs and internal organs? I was both disappointed and relieved when the movie was done. Disappointed because the final showdown between Inkubus and his rival, Diamante, had ended so abruptly. Relieved because I was finally put out of my misery.

Skip this unless you're like me and hellbent on watching every horror ever released.

Resurrection County
4 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

Two urban couples head to the countryside for some downtime; however, they're quickly introduced to the other side of 'roughing it' in the wilderness when the men's ATV excursion makes a collision course straight for hell, where the locals aren't keen to strangers. After a standoff with a couple of ill-tempered hillbillies, the residents of Resurrection County go from hostile to downright murderous, out to avenge the death of one of their own.

It's your run-of-the-mill redneck torture flick - city folks wander off into no man's land for some fresh air, only to end up being stalked (sometimes devoured, but not in this case) by a group of inbred loonies who possess the strength of Hercules and the Hulk combined. Lo and behold, the actors and actresses, a bunch of no-names, do a pretty damn decent job. The make-up department and special effects crew deserve a round of applause for creating very realistic blood and gore on a limited budget.

It falters midway through, courtesy of some slow-moving and unnecessary scenes that should have ended up on the cutting room floor, as well as succumbing to the stereo-typical errors that characters in horror movies make. There is a shotgun scene in the beginning that will satisfy sadists but, while gory throughout, there really isn't much on-screen torture or anything that qualifies as extreme, not to veteran horror fans anyway.

Although predictable, it's still intense with genuine performances, but lacks anything fresh or remarkable.

Creeping Flesh
4 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

In the late 19th century, scientist Emmanuel Hildern (Peter Cushing) returns home to London with a prehistoric skeleton that he acquired in Papua New Guinea. While cleaning the skeleton, he learns that water triggers a horrific reaction - reanimation. He slices off the finger, now covered in flesh, and preserves it for later experiments.

While having breakfast with his daughter, Penelope (the breathtaking Lorna Heilbron), Emmanuel reads a letter informing him of his wife's death. Unbeknowst to Penelope, her mother has been in an insane asylum since she was a little girl. Fearful that his wife's mental illness may be hereditary, Emmanuel has sheltered his daughter at their estate with only the servants to keep her company. She's not allowed outside, except for short walks within the gated premises.

Emmanuel travels to the institution where his wife died. He meets up with his half-brother, James (Christopher Lee), who happens to be the insane asylum's director and a competing scientist. Emmanuel was always the favorite of the two siblings, the one destined to achieve greatness, so it's with great pleasure that James tells him that he is in the running for the prestigious Richter Award. In addition, he will no longer fund Emmanuel's transcontinental trips.

I'm not familiar with most horror predating 1980. I rate this somewhere between 60%-70% (about a 6.5/10). I've never watched a movie, horror or other genre, with so much anticipation and dread for what may come. The climax is truly a frightening one. The suspense is nail-biting! Lee and Cushing are great but it's the beautiful Heilbron who steals the show. I want to watch more films she stars in.

I recommend this to horror fans who want to explore the classics. No gore, torture, or loud music cues to instill a false sense of fear. I liked it!

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Garden Party
Garden Party (2008)
4 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

Willa Holland plays April who runs off to Hollywood to escape from her sleazy step-father. There, she is introduced to an even sleazier fellow, a photographer who offers her cash to pose naked for the camera. She does what she has to in order to survive, as do Nathan, a farm boy from Nebraska who dreams of being a dancer, and Sammy, an aspiring singer.

The only person to make this film interesting is the gorgeous Vinessa Shaw. She plays Sally St. Clair, Internet nudie turned tough-as-nails real estate agent who has a soft spot for teenage drifters, especially ones who will tend to her marijuana plants. The other characters seem to wander through life aimlessly, casting shame and good sense aside while avoiding, entertaining, or humoring their predators.

[b]Garden Party[/b] is a plain movie with equally plain characters that starts off painfully slow. It never fully satisfies. Certain vignettes end abruptly and new ones are introduced haphazardly. If anything, this film serves as a warning to young people with dreams of making it big in Hollywood. It isn't a fairytale journey and the Big Bad Wolf is lurking around every corner.

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Tabloid (2011)
4 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

Some stories are so preposterous and delightfully astonishing that they have to be exposed to the masses. Such is the true tale of Joyce McKinney, the former beauty queen who hired a pilot to fly her and an accomplice, Keith May, to England to rescue her boyfriend, Kirk Anderson, from the clutches of the Mormon church. After bringing him to a rented cottage in Devon, where the refrigerator was stocked full of his favorite foods, she bound and seduced him. What ensued was three days of sex, food, and fun, to be forever known as "The Case of the Manacled Mormon".

It sounds like every man's fantasy - a beautiful pageant princess waiting on you hand and foot, satisfying your every whim and fancy. However, Kirk, after reading about his own abduction in the newspaper, fled from his captors and alleged to the police a much different account of what happened. The all-American, charismatic blonde was arrested for kidnapping and raping the Mormon missionary and thrown in the slammer to await trial. The British tabloids had a field day with the bizarre incident.

The Daily Express printed Joyce's side of the story while their rival, The Daily Mirror, delved deep into Joyce's past and uncovered lurid details of her moonlighting as an S&M model and dominatrix for hire, painting her as a manipulative Jezebel that cast a spell over all of the men she met. The accusation did ring true. She often referred to Keith May as her slave and she had another admirer willing to do anything she asked. Even Peter Tory, a reporter for The Daily Express, seems to have fallen for Joyce's delusion that she was simply a girl so profoundly in love with her boyfriend, she risked life and limb in order to save and deprogram him from a cult of polygamists.

Unfortunately, Kirk Anderson declined to participate in Morris's documentary and Keith May passed away in 2004, but there is enough material to fill his absence, like Joyce's decision to travel to Seoul, South Korea to have her beloved rescue pitbull, Booger, cloned.

The interviews with Joyce, Jackson Shaw (the pilot), Troy Williams (a former Mormon missionary), Peter Tory, Kent Gavin (photographer for The Daily Mirror), and Dr. Hong flow smoothly, with barely any interruption by Mr. Morris. The montage of animated newspaper clippings was a visual treat and the background music fit brilliantly, which normally goes unnoticed in a documentary. The star of the show is Joyce with her animated voice and emphasized gestures. She's a breed of crazy that is sometimes unsettling, sometimes funny, and always entertaining.