Crappyreviewer's Movie Ratings - Rotten Tomatoes

Movie Ratings and Reviews

Semi-Pro
Semi-Pro(2008)

Funniest comedy I have ever seen. The part where Jackie Moon gets punched in the stomach and throws up made me laugh so hard I threw up! Funnier than Monty Python and the Holy Grail!

Monty Python's Life of Brian

Hellarious! Raunchiness makes a better Monty Python movie!

The Fugitive
The Fugitive(1993)

Not that good. Too long and not enough action.

Brewster's Millions

The funniest film in the world.

Far and Away
Far and Away(1992)

I LOVE THIS MOVIE!!! TOM CRUISE HAS THE BEST FUCKING IRISH ACCENT EVER!!! THE ENDING MAKES ME FEEL LIKE A PUSSY! WAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Airplane!
Airplane!(1980)
½

Not really that funny. It was just not good. Is it because I have a bad taste in comedy?

Encino Man
Encino Man(1992)

Hilarious! Funnier than Airplane!

Spies Like Us

OMG!!!! THIS WAS SO FUCKING FUNNY!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!1

Battleship
Battleship(2012)

Two words: Battleshit!

Fools Rush In

If he just worn a condom this movie wouldn't have happened.

Willow
Willow(1988)

The foulest most abysmal movie ever made. I had a boner before I watched this movie and when I started to watch it my boner was gone. The dialogue sucked, the action sucked, the effects sucked and the acting sucked. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck you Ron Howard!

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
½

That's me in the corner
That's me in the spotlight
Losing my religion

Wait! WHY AM I SINGING AN R.E.M SONG IN A REVIEW?

Cloverfield
Cloverfield(2008)

Awful, awful, awful and most of all it was awful. Oh yeah and the camera was too shaky.

Clash of the Titans

A masterpiece that I masturbate to.

Pinocchio
Pinocchio(1940)

The book was better.

Dude, Where's My Car?

Dude this movie was totally cool, dude.

Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny

It's mostly KG and JB rhyming rock with cock.

21 Jump Street
½

I'm surprised this got good reviews.

The Shawshank Redemption

Even idiots like me can't hate this movie.

The Hangover
The Hangover(2009)
½

Funny? Sometimes! Overrated? Hell yes!

The Hunger Games

So Grover-rated! Yes I meant to say that on purpose!

RoboCop
RoboCop(1987)

Robocop was a sandwich before it was a movie. Wait, what? Seriously, that makes no fucking sense. I don't get why critics have a weird way of saying they didn't like a movie!

Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1

-BILL CONDON?!? More like Bill Condom! Jesus Christ this was bad! Makes Robocop look like Transfomers 2.

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
½

Please let a more talented director like Stephen Sommers direct the next twilight movie. Oh shit its-

Private Parts

Howard Stern should put those private parts up his ass!

Titanic
Titanic(1997)

The best part was the nudity and the part where *spoilers*.

Epic Movie
Epic Movie(2007)

You'd expect me to like this movie, but I don't

Baby Geniuses

Even with my idiocy by my side I can still say that this is a shitty movie.

Battlefield Earth

Why does the Nostalgia Critic rip on the best movies of all time?

Bride of the Monster

Ed Wood does it again. Tor Johnson should have won an Oscar.

Glen or Glenda?

Ed Wood should have been more famous than Orson Welles.

Avatar
Avatar(2009)

It was not just the visuals that sucked this time.

Twilight
Twilight(2008)

It was OK, but the fangirls should shut the fuck up about this movie.

John Carter
John Carter(2012)
½

I loved the dialogue, but the visuals sucked.

Plan 9 from Outer Space

Best movie I ever seen! The special effects were amazing! Makes Avatars special effects look like Citizen Kane. Wait, what?

Troll 2
Troll 2(1990)

This is the best movie ever made! Screw Citizen Kane! This is a masterpiece!

Troll
Troll(1986)

I enjoyed it. I think it's the best Harry Potter movie ever.

Carrie
Carrie(1976)

Not that good, but Sissy Spacek was hot in this one. Yeah baby! Let's do it in the butt!

Dazed and Confused

So overrated! Why did people like this so much? Explain!

A Thousand Words

War, children, it's just a shot away
It's just a shot a... Wait! WHY WAS I SINGING A ROLLING STONES SONG IN A EDDIE MURPHY REVIEW?!?

Mirror Mirror

Mirror mirror on the wall, anyone who hates this can suck my balls.

Inside Man
Inside Man(2006)

It was OK, but IT NEEDS MORE SEX!!!

Justin Bieber: Never Say Never

WHY DID 65% OF USERS LIKE THIS MOVIE? IT WAS SHIT!!!!!

Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience

Ok, I know I'm supposed to like this movie because of my idiocy, but I FUCKING HATE IT!!!! Jonas Brothers blow monkey dick!!!

The Big Lebowski

Dude! This movie gives me a headache, dude!

Monty Python's The Meaning of Life
½

When that fat guy puked I puked out those nachos I just ate. Again raunchiness makes a better Monty Python movie!

Monty Python and the Holy Grail
½

I don't get what is so great about this movie. Only had a few funny parts. The raunchier ones are better.

Bio-Dome
Bio-Dome(1996)

So hilarious! Pauly Shore and Stephen Baldwin crack me up! They need better girlfriends though. I don't know why people find them attractive.