Michael P.'s Movie Ratings - Rotten Tomatoes

Movie Ratings and Reviews

Kick-Ass
Kick-Ass(2010)

Absolutely fantastic movie. The movie blends comic action with a dark, dramatic realism and some great dark humoured moments. I even found Nicolas Cage enjoyable! In my opinion 76% is too low for such an original and fresh movie which is incredibly rare these days. Sequel for hit girl please, all i ask is for the dark theme to continue,

Kick-Ass 2
Kick-Ass 2(2013)

Absolutely aweful, which was no suprise when you get a precerious sequel from adifferent director, but nobody expected it to be this bad. If it wasn't for the adourable Chloes potty mouth it would have got 1 star. Boring story, boring events, gore for gores sake, very poor portral of human element an unrealistic scenes. The script was also, poor.

Shame
Shame(2011)
½

Don't let the fantastic looking trailer fool you. This is an aweful movie, it is incredibly boring, prolonged, drags and an incredibly dull plot. You keep expecting it to unravel an unearth some hidden life but it never does, it stinks. Expect full nudity. The actors on their part did the best they could do in a movie, that you will never be able to reclaim the time wasted from your life.

The Passion of the Christ

Al i read is people critisising the gore an brutality labeling it as 'adaptation' 'primitive an pornographic'.. do not know what planet these people are on to say these words. It was an accurate portrayal of what happened, simple historical fact. I thought his suffering could not had shown what jesus was all about more, how can so many miss it? His love was unwielding his sacrifice was immense, more importantly he shown the role model for humanity, that any man can take so much pain for his moral basis with divine virtue. It is a event we aspire for.

Ip Man
Ip Man(2010)

It is ip man (2008)?
A very good movie that achieves what it sets out to do flawlessly in perfection. It does not over complicate, it is a simple story with simple principles that connects with great scenes of action an social change. The movie is perfection of a good movie.

Star Trek Into Darkness

Where the last started brilliantly an ended porly, this does the opposite. There just seems to be a real lack of emotive conneciton an soul despite the character play an khans nice acting. The latest director has followed suit in bizarrely making warp speed an firing weapons 'his' unique way. I am being kind here as apparently warp speed now includes a sprinkling of pixy dust behind, what were you thinking? A good movie to entertain. The future divergeance is limitless in exiting possibility.

Zombieland
Zombieland(2009)
½

Didn't laugh once, it is not a comedy, it is a vacume of drama, comedy, basically everything except a tiny bit of action near the end which was only great due to being on a fair ground. I left this movie wondering if anything actually happened, the simplest plot one can imagine, they travel from a to b, an in between 2 or 3 minor things happened.

Ip Man 2: Legend of the Grandmaster

Absolutely aweful movie, even more pain staking knowing it came after a thoroughly well made ip man 1. Please pretend this movie didn't exist an do not bother watching. Borefest in plot, spewed up countless times in a cheesy manner. I had to watch the dubbed version that consisted of the sillyest western/posh accents, an the most rediculously out of character voice tones. It was amusing watching western civilisation demonised to rediculous proportions in some anti empirical, historical agenda. It really was quite insanely villianised. An funny when we are used to watching the west demonise anything that isn't capitalist.

Super
Super(2011)

The most traumatic movie i have seen in my life, surpasses freddy got fingered and quentin quarantino, i cannot over emphesise the gore, brutality, not even so much amount, but the level an weight behind it. I thoroughly enjoyed the movie even though i wonder if it went too far with it, but that's part of the movies charm i guess. Highly amusing an more entertaining, keeps you on its edge, you just don't know what to expect with these movies.

Flight
Flight(2012)

Great start that slowly an at a steady pace, turns in to snooze fest.

World War Z
World War Z(2013)

Got a higher rating than deserved due to its original story an biological rationale. Casting Pitt as the main lead for the movie was strange as it requied somebody to engage in emotion an lets face it Pitt is emotionless an had only one expression all movie, like he was advertising for a perfume commercial. Otherwise there is nothing to critisise as it was a very competant movie, albeit everything you expect an have saw countless times in zombie movies.

Return of the Killer Tomatoes!

It was fresh enough to pull itself off in my childhood 90's, not so sure it would be today but as i shall not watch, an review this from memory an enjoy that memory. Who can forget so many commercials

Escape from New York
½

You expect a B movie, what you find is a movie that looks visually alot more impressive, if oyu can get past the cliche story an 70's style cheese, its a thoroughly good movie

Iron Man 3
Iron Man 3(2013)

Its alright an worth going the pictures, i heard this was the best iron man, those who say it is even close to the original are having a sillyness party of the highest magnitude. This was an entertaining viewing and suprisingly had alot less 'iron' than expected.

Oblivion
Oblivion(2013)

original, which is like winning the lottery now days. Will certainly take you in immediately an keep you thoroughly entertained, without waining, again, rare these days!
Tom never seemed to display any emotion for the last decade, but the star that holds the credability and substance has to go to Andrea/Vic, who demonstrates some brilliant acting skill, that really brings the heart and connection to the movie. No lean feet having to distract you from the inept lifeless acting of the one and only Morgan Freeman.

Zero Dark Thirty

No need for the length of it, especially when there is no build up or emotional attachment. It appears there was a specific purpose in saying torture is acceptable with its narrow attempt, failing to show its implications, morality or all those innocent people who were tortured an locked up dragged straight from their taxis without trial. Worryingly, the moral showing is some what hypocritical, apparently, you can twist your moral principles to suit your purpose, but if somebody else does it for their religion, they are terroirists. The stealth choppers, were amazing though.

Django Unchained
½

Very basic simplistic story, so generic and formulated, right up to the mountain camp fire, yawn. Jamie Fox just didn't connect and his self gratification lead to irritation of the bowels. The plot simply went from bad to worse thanks to some bizarre scenes, that made very little sense, it climaxed into utter shoddyness of cheeseball garbage i.e rapping and horses dancing. The humor was almost none existant, all this is is a very poor blazing saddles remake, and the ones who will enjoy this are those who will enjoy it simply for its liberal use of a certain N word

Green Zone
Green Zone(2010)
½

Regardless of perspective, this movie is true to the core and still adresses all the issues in its topic. It simply pulsates right through until the end, one can only admire the beauty of progression and complex scenes. The visuals are the perfect ballance between reality and the sublime tech. If yout hink this is just another real life dull bore fest, you are mistaken.

Starship Troopers 3: Marauder
½

Ultimately the movie is let down by aweful acting an to a less extent a narrow an plain story that dragged in parts. How it cost 20m is a bit hard to imagine. It is a shame this movie wern't airbrushed a little more an with a better cast because it just may have pulled itself off.

Starship Troopers 2: Hero of the Federation

I was prepared for some shoddyness with this movie, i was prepaired for virtually no virtual effects, and i never ever turn a movie of once i start watching.
Only the remake of freddy cruigar has achieved this (5mins) this beat it hands down, it started with clips of the original regurgitated but worse, then fast forwarded to a soldier, with glasses on, as puzzling as that is, in the future no less. In the midst of a bug attack, blowing a kids football whistle, i was out at this point.

The Hunter
The Hunter(2012)
½

A movie with a story line that no doubt will become ever so more common in future, looking back,you will say, this was the original, free from over the top glaze,dollar and effects. It is unremarkable yet it has substance, thanks to the man that is the definition of 'actor' Dafoe.

The Book of Eli

When a movie has gary oldman, densel an mila kunis, rest assured it is going to be worth while watching. It has great visuals and a good feel to it, but it isn't great, densil seems to think he is blade at points. the last 20 seconds bit fo the story left me unimpressed.

The Expendables
½

Coming from a stallone an arnold fan of the highest order, this movie is a piece of shi,t!!! I would put it on the same level as the new nightmare on elm street or pearl harbour. The story is good in essence, besides the fact it's been made to stroke stallones ego as much as possible, the entire movie practically involves him on camera permanently. He co incidentally picks the weakest, lesser known actor to be his partner. The directing is so disjointed and bland, and the movie feels like it drags on forever.

Top Gun
Top Gun(1986)

A fine example of how crucial a soundrack is to the success of some movies. The best aerodynamic movie there has been. Stream lined slickness from the 80's.

The Special Relationship
½

A fact based film where michael sheen an hope davis take the show, an leave the other two in shambles. It is in part dull and fails to reference in any way the actual thing that defines Blair(iraq) or indeed Dianna. Found it to be incredibly condescending and as we are used to seeing, america is the bee's knees, looking down to the 'grateful' who are lookily enough to be around their devine grace. THAT is not Bill Clinton. Worth a watch.

Ted
Ted(2012)
½

3/5 is pushing it to it's limit, probably a 2.5. It isn't as stupid, with toilet humour trash as you may fear, and it's reality is measured quite successfully however it isn't really funny.

The Dark Knight Rises

inevitably it's hype gets the better, but only in a few unrealistic sequences, stabbed armour and don't get me started with the nuclear bomb. Ever slighly inferior to the dark knight, which could arguably be the best film of all time. I thought the first hour was perfection at it's best however the end climax scenes could have been better. I give this move a 5/5 regardless due to it's epic scale and continuation of it's ideology. Extremely angry about the rediculous nonsensicle ending.

Internal Affairs
½

Hardcore nastyness, make no mistake, the depths of evil traumatising scenes in this movie make the godfather look like a day time tv show. Fantastic acting from all of the cast, but the main aspect fo this movie is just how well it is made, the work of suspense and build up really resonates. The Psychological profiling is so sadistic and complex (credit again) that such a character is not very hard to imagine atall.

D.O.A.
D.O.A.(1988)
½

Incredibly complex plot, that flows sweet and won't have you scratching your head in the end, a Eureka moment. Fantastically stylish, i have not seen such a perfect blend of colour/blackwhite use. Dennis and Meg, enough said, he is the best he has been here, an megs beauty is in the perfect role. Also has many layers and you really get a feel about what it tries to achieve, living life. Fanatastic, probably should have gave it 5 stars

Prometheus
Prometheus(2012)
½

Well made movie with everything you would expect coming to see in this movie, perhaps a tad predictable, especially in the alien formula but what is peformed is performed to a high level. Great graphics and set. Think 'mission to mars' but the end product is alien and that is this movie. Room for improvement, rating 18, more suspense and thriller, more involvement.
I did however find the date rediculous, 2090 and were suddenly wizzing through space!? may aswel say we will colonise half the galaxy by 2020!

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

In interesting film, made and directed with skill and although obvious frm the beginning, it doesn;t fully unravel right till the end and keeps you engaged through out thinking. The slow moving pace leads to some extremely tension filled pockets in the middle but other than that it is very dull drapes stuff, particularly in the final third. This is probably more a result from the style and setting that they wished to be portrayed but never the less considering the gravity of events, feels very mcuh like people have simply been cheating at cluedo and they take it too seriously.

Eyes Wide Shut

I'd have gave this a whole extra star if it wasn't for the most annoying piano playing nearly through the entirity of the movie. Thank god i could mute it is all i have to say! What is accepted for a brief moment as acceptable suspense instrument quickly becomes a form of torture. iF you cheat or have the urge, this move will help you grow a little

Déjà Vu
Déjà Vu(2006)

For those with Phds in Physics who take realism seriously, i am afraid this movie has serious flaws in science. For the rest of us, it opens up another aspect of imagination, unique story lines and i stress, it has style and essence. In general, the actual idea is unique and great. It is a pity they thought it realistic to let Densel go ape mental in a multi billion equiped room however like he was some god when he shouldn't have even been allowed in there, sigh lol. great movie though!!

Perfect Creature

Perplex setting in an technological equivelant 1920's with futuristic genetic engineering and 21st century urban skyscrapers. If you think this sounds daft, your not wrong. The story has some real meat and could have spun a sequal if it was better recieved. I suspect it will not be long before genetic engineering in movies will have it's own genre when it's impact and broad scope are realised in mainstream cinema. While not groundbraking script, it was original. But as many films do, no soul, no emotive connection no dramatised sequence. Poory produced.

Marvel's The Avengers
½

Monumentally proportioned to the mythical gods themself in over hype/praised ratings. Nothing but a bog standard blockbusting action flick done to a reasonibly satisfactory level.There are some real moments of laughter which Joss Whedon is an expert in, but it lacks emotional attachment, suspense and the threat of loss due to predictability. This is a top notch movie for the youngens, far superior to anything else (laughs at transformers from a high hill) Was hoping for more for the adult audience. Although Scarlett is just ....a danger to mens mental health. They should make the sequal about her beauty making men obsessively insane.
p:s the script for the sequal is incredibly impressive for those in the know how of mythology, all ties in!

The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day

As a major fan of the original i cannot hide my dissapointment to this shocking mediocre thing. I struggle to find anything atall that wasn't mediocre. From the person who rated the first one 100%, do yourself a favour and pretend a sequel didn't exist

The Boondock Saints

ok i see why i thought this was the 'find' of the century, if you ask me, this was like finding a disgarded treasure, one of my favourite movies. If it doesn't make you a fan, it is guaranteed to entertain with it's humour and action.

Sunshine
Sunshine(2007)

This movie should for sure be categorised as a thriller! The only complaint i have is that it pain stakingly dragged for long periods up til the second half. This movie did not have the usual sci fi feel you come to expect so be warned, it in turn plays with sacrifice, and the stark reality of moraltiy.

Bruno
Bruno(2009)

Only one of the most bizarre minds could think these incredibly thought out and ilaborate things out.

The 13th Warrior

Don't think people give this a chance before it has began. A very clever story with real soul, has you so involved you want to fist pump, excellent music.

You've Got Mail

A movie with Tom and Meg as starring roles is always going to be this good.

Bloodsport
Bloodsport(1988)
½

Yes, one of Jean clauds (remakes) as they are all the same, well this is as perfect as he got it. Twice as good as kickboxer.

The Peacemaker
½

good actiong, good effects, fantastic story, great pace that smoothy just gets higher and higher until climax.

Mortal Kombat
½

Nothing brings you back to your blood rushed teenage roots like mortal combat. It's action and music leave you terribly carried away with yourself trying acrobatic kicks when your alone in the room, even if you are abit older these days

Jackass 3.5
Jackass 3.5(2011)

Consists of people excreeting poo on camera practically for the whole movie, so long that is achieves the impossible and embarrasses them.

Copycat
Copycat(1995)

An excellent movie that cannot escape the feel of a sub standard movie. Difficult to explain why, but this has some fantastic stuff, it's a must see. It has a rather deep emotional feel and connection it shifts intensity magnificently.

The Specialist

One of stallones weakest blockbuster movies, yet it is still watchable

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
½

An interesting concept that didn't take long to be left as a poor movie.

Crossing Over

What appears like a movie representing something for what it is, quickly becomes a fictional movie of patriotic propaganda in which US citizens need to live with themselves. Shrugging off the fiction of glorious america does leave one with huge sympathy for the immigrant, one which should feel natural to a nation not long ago born from them. Still this is an entertaining movie.

Kingdom of Heaven

While being an empty film of sorts, there is some fantastic visuals and camera shots. Some of the crusader shots are breath taking. The movie did have it's home work done with some detailed history on set. Ultimately Orlando Bloom as a Knight sums this up in a nut shell..an empty one.

The highlight for me was the focus on the moral philosphies involved and the virtues of Orlando. This aspect has had me ponder and think more than any other movie.

Commando
Commando(1985)
½

One can't not like this movie. This is everything you expect from Arnold, full of classic one line moments and him ludicrously destroying a army single handedly, while some how making it all look very plausable, cool and charming. Hey if rambo can, so can he!

Get Over It
Get Over It(2001)
½

Deserves a higher rating than expected, solely because this about as good and as aspiring as these sort of movies can achieve. Excels from a limited zone, this is a very amusing movie that will have you feeling good about yourself.

Body of Lies
Body of Lies(2008)
½

This tomato meter has suprised me the most, i thought this was an excellent spy thriller. Leonardo is at his best, the directing is top quality changing the mood expertly. If you like spy movies you will love this. So refreshing to see a western movie so humble in it's realisation that it is not always everybody in the east is the enemy, and the west can be it's worst own enemy. For those with intelect, go see.

Clash of the Titans

One of the worst movies i'v seen, you may think oh but it will have some good action scenes in worth watching to pass the time, your wrong! Just find something else. Am i the only one who see's Liam Neeson as the most inexpressionable actor around?

Zoolander
Zoolander(2001)

A conundrum, destroyed by critics yet Ben confesses it is his most popular movie, i personally agree with Mr Stiller and his fans, this movie is arguably his best along side Dodgeball, and as such the controversy draws comparisons to the 'cable guy'. This is no movie that involves using ones brain, it uses character stupidity in hilarious circumstances, if you like saturday night live, you will love this.

X-Men: First Class

Cheesey and cliche on appearance, but this movie is a surpisingly solid effort. A delivery of entertainment more than anything, the only criticism is that the character development and relation to the audience, to atleast spark some care or interest is none existant. Although there is a visible and failed attempt to do so.

Ghostbusters (1984 Original)
½

A true classic, with the lads being key more than anything to it's appeal with their energy and charisma.

The Bourne Identity

What makes this movie so popular is its uniquely grounded, humanly realistic action sequences. There is always a sense of realism in which most other movies toe the line with outragious fantasy. But here a magazine and a pen are just as deadly, without the explosions. The pace through out is constant and there is an interesting story line.

21 Jump Street

As far as these rugurgitated movies go, it is one of the better ones. Even if the villian was obvious, 68% max though!

Interview with the Vampire
½

First of it's kind to masterfully take advantage of skipping through a vampires history smoothly adding depth to it's present, a formula repeated successfully through a range of shows.

Conan the Barbarian
½

The most suprising thing was, not that the acting cast would be it's most painful thing of note, but that it would ironically be it's best (by which i just mean Jason). Take this as a compliment or an enditement of the awefulness of the rest of the movie. From the directing, Production,visuals and writing.

A Nightmare on Elm Street

It is some achievement when i have to turn it of after 5 minutes.

Project X
Project X(2012)
½

specifically aimed for teens and a good laugh.

Stephen King's It

Is it reasonable to cliam this is the reason people are afraid of clowns?

Space Battleship Yamato
½

Left wondering what the movie could have been with a bit more music and scenes that arn't needlessly over the top in length. The female was just breathtakingly beautiful and the CGI could make the majority of Hollywood movies look embarrassed.

The Longest Day

Made from the perspective from both sides, Truelly one for the collection.

Anchorman - The Legend Of Ron Burgundy

Created quotes to last for generations. If only we all had Rons vocabulary, life would never be dull.

Pearl Harbor
Pearl Harbor(2001)

Epitomises everything wrong with the country

Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back

spoiler alert, what makes this movie so special is that ever so rare element, the bad guys win.

The Hunger Games

This was never going to meet my expectations when i had been counting the days down for atleast a year. I felt it could had done better in the action sequences, roughness and the lower age rating didn't help. When you ignore the creators lie about not copying battle royals 'bag scene' the film is an acceptable piece, however it is no masterpiece. i have a feeling the sequels will provide a greater experience though and will look to them with anticipation.

Moneyball
Moneyball(2011)
½

From somebody who has trouble recognising baseball as a sport, i found this suprisingly enjoyable and interesting. Character interaction in favour of overly dramatic sporting sequences was a smart move. I would recommend this movie.

The Lost Boys

One of my favourite films of all time. Exploding with style, darkness and that special ingrediant only films of the 80's can deliver. One of the best soundtracks ever also to mirror it. If you like your films with a touch of dark comedy, this one is for you.

Battleship
Battleship(2012)
½

Another good showing from Kitsch from a movie with to die for visual effects,truelly. This was never going to be a great film but it is certainly worth watching with good action sequences.

But for the record, many 'goldylox planets' are already chartered and it misses the point of us being able to contact a distant planet somehow without it taking thousands of years! Perhaps i am being too cynical here for what i personally call basic inteligence and logic. I am not over analysing, simply raising a point.