Phillip P.'s Profile - Rotten Tomatoes

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Rating History

The Last Witch Hunter
2 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

"They didn't kill my parents they were my parents".

'The Last Witch Hunter' is not a good film, it's got a lot unnecessary details that complicate things, the story is uninteresting and so are the characters. But and this kind of funny I was entertained, somehow I had a pretty decent time. The hokey plot, often hilarious dialogue and boring characters all add up to something fun.

I'm not sure how and even though I know there's the bad good film this doesn't really fit that most of the time. But it does have a ridiculous serious tone to it that creates (I think) somewhat unintentional fun. It follows the Witch Hunter ''Kaulder' (Vin Diesel) as he tries to bring an old friend out of a curse and battles an old evil that cursed him with his immortality. The present day setting zaps some of that hokey charm it should have had, there are some luscious backgrounds in the witches lair near the beginning but they're quickly replaced by bland skyscrapers.

He' suppose to be haunted by the past with his wife and child's death but it's a little thrown together. He also has that whole brooding "I don't want to do this any more I wish I was dead" kind of thing. And that's part of why I like it, it plays with the story so seriously that I can't help but laugh.

The story of an old evil coming back is fantasy films 101 and it doesn't do anything with it that's all that interesting. The special effects leaves a lot to be desired on the Witch King too particularly since the rest of the film looks pretty decent. I'm not selling it am I?

There's something about it I enjoyed and despite thinking it over a lot I still can't quite figure out what it is. All my points aren't particularly believable here and that's simply because when I think back I just have criticism. But I liked the whole thing. 'Elijah Woods' hilarious turn at the end, Rose Leslie's whole get-up and Vin Diesels uber-serious performance. I should really like nay of it but it did - I guess I'll never know why. Not a strong reason is it for the score? Maybe I'll figure it eventually.

Spectre (2015)
2 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

"Iv'e always been there' James".

Meh, meh that was my reaction after coming out of the cinema. After the months of hype and my excitement for what I thought was going to be incredible, top to bottom what I got instead was disappointing. The secrecy the inclination that 'Bond' was going to be up against a massive force, something unlike before - someone, something that had it's hand everywhere and felt like a weight on his shoulders everywhere. An ever presence.

Nope, it was pretty far from that - those words from the trailer "You are a kite dancing in a hurricane" don't apply to anything here. 'Bond' is on his own after a merger between two spy agencies and the abandonment of the 00 program. He's reluctantly let of the leach by M as he travels the world looking for the head of 'Spectre' and finally bring the man to justice - or death. It all sounds exciting but beyond some pretty nice set-piece and one that goes on for far too long - a car chase with the head henchman would not end.

It's biggest problem is it's nonsensical story, the obvious betrayal aside it makes very little sense. 'Christoph Waltz' plays the bad guy and yes he is who you think he is. I know that a spoiler but the reveal isn't one, nor is it interesting. Whether he's his original name or the name he takes on (right at the end) it's not interesting. He's a man who controls pretty much everything, knows the threat of spies yet invites one into his home assuming he's won. Cocky villains is a staple but with this guy I thought it would be one chance and that's it his whole set-up through marketing spelt the most dangerous enemy ever for 'Bond'. Instead 'Bond' doesn't so much squeeze through his grasp more walk, trot or strut -t's too easy and rather dull.

There are some quite nice parts the opening is pretty good, the large scale chase down a snowy mountain and the idea behind Bond's past with 'Oberhauser' is nice but thin, weak and not explored beyond a bit about an avalanche. Which suppose to shock but doesn't really come close to doing so. The whole story really is weak, the merger is set-up so obviously, 'Oberhauser's threat seems minuscule, the board room alluded to in the trailer is less impactful in it's whole. It gets all very confusing with who has power, why they have it - I left with "I don't understand the point of what all these people are trying to achieve".

Thankfully the whole film is somewhat save by it's speculative set-pieces and it's overall pristine look and feel. The suave, the guns the gadgets (albeit brief particularly the car so disappointing) and the acting make it enjoyable if nothing else. I'm so severely disappointed and I haven't been this disappointed since 'Intersteller' - which left a similar taste in my mouth. The trailer made it seem something it wasn't and what it seemed was so so much better than this.

Pan (2015)
2 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

"Welcome to Neverland!".

I remember saying to myself while watching the trailer for 'Pan' "This looks pretty good! I'm surprised - I can't wait to see this". Oh how wrong I was. Peter Pan is a staple in the world of classic stories. The story has been told numerous times, different angles, actors and with varying degrees of success. You can count 'Pan' an attempt at a Peter Pan prequel in the dire category.

There's the makings of a good idea but that's just it the makings of. The story starts in London England with the usual dark dreary streets as 'Peter' is dropped off at an orphanage, it then jumps ahead as we see his trickery at the expense of the head nun. I quite liked the fairly visual drab start showcasing Peter's joyful rebellion against those that don't see his view of the world. But then he gets captured and taken to Neverland and that's when everything crumbles at quite an alarming rate. It isn't a gradual downfall it's almost instantly as despite Neverland's visual aplomb and inventiveness it's still a boring place to spend time in.

When the visuals come in it becomes clear that that's all the show has. The story is thread bare as there's no discernible point I can see. Something about fairy's and his link to them. It's about 'Peter' but that seems to be as far as they got. The acting is shaky too - somewhat acceptable from the child actor playing 'Peter'. 'Jackman' is probably the best thing about the film giving far more energy than the film deserves. Mara too has some charm and comes out with some dignity.

As for 'Hook' he seems to be from a different film, era and place. His accent, his approach the fact he's supposedly been their for many years despite sticking out - all screams this guy doesn't belong. And for such a pivotal character in the future of 'Peter' that it beggars belief that they chose this persona.

All those things Iv'e mentioned the acting, the lack of any sort of story, the characters they all pale in comparison to the main problem. And that's it's so bland and dull that it's a slog to get through. That's the worst thing a film can be, a bad film can be entertaining, a good film can be flawed but boring is just that. It's just utterly forgettable. It might in the future become a good answer for quizzes.. Oh and yes that was Nirvana's 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' sung near the beginning and no I don't know why it's in there.

The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared
2 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

"I like to blow stuff up".

I can see why this isn't too everyone's taste. The story jumps around more than any other film Iv'e ever seen. It's links are often nonsensical and ludicrous. This one man meeting all these world leaders, spies and helping on the Manhattan project. And not to mention the slightly off make-up on the 100-year old who is clearly some ways off that actual age. Yet I loved it all.

I think the aforementioned ludicrous plot and more or less impossible events add to the comedy and I think they're intended too. 'The 100 Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out The Window And Disappeared' is about just that a 100 year-old man and his adventures present and past. As on his birthday he decides to just get out and leave his retirement home. Along the way he's pursed by a biker gang (due to accidentally taking their suitcase full of money or should I just say not really caring) and a P.I who's just trying to find him.

It's a road trip movie with 'Allan' coming across people he eventually calls friend who all get stuck in with this suitcase full of cash. A lonely man who is the only resident in a town, an indecisive student who has hundreds of credits but has never finished a single course and a women who knows what she wants. It's very absurdist more so when you see flashbacks of Allan's childhood or his meeting with Franco and Starlin and how they come about. They aren't necessarily believable but with Allan's nature they feel somewhat natural.

'Allan' comes across as untouchable and going with the flow - oh and he loves blowing things up. It's surprisingly funny, more so at towards the beginning. Absudism is probably my favourite genre of comedy so when it uses the barest of threads narratively or picks something out like Einstein's idiot brother I was laughing a lot. I found it really interesting despite it's over the top nature just seeing Allan's care-free attitude clash with those who are serious around him - or in Franco's case oblivious is a joy. His relationship is always different with each flash-back, some are friends, some unknowingly enemies and some staunchly serious.

That's not to say there aren't any problems despite the great start it does progressively get worse, not by all that much but to the point where it's noticeable the jokes have dried up and its coming an end.

It might narratively all the place but that's part of its charm. It's story, is ridiculous, it's full of absurdist situations and moments 'The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out The Window And Disappeared' is as crazy as it's over-long detailed title suggests.

Stoker (2013)
2 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

"Why didn't you tell me I had an uncle?"

'Stoker' simultaneously shows how to build up an impending sense of danger with ease and then cut it down with a typical bland reveal. We all know clichés aren't bad. It's the execution that makes it bad, so when the curtain reveals what's happening its limp and met with a quiet sigh. It's one of those situations where the mystery is one of the usual hits a film like this goes with.

Surprisingly more so how limp is, is that this is the man who created 'Oldboy' that majestically held the real outcome to very end - it didn't given anything away. While 'Stoker' doesn't really give anything either - it has a lazy explanation (even if the scene that actual shows the reason is chilling and well shot).

'Stoker' starts with the death of India's (Mia Wasikowska) father due to a car accident. At the family house she is introduced to her uncle 'Charles' (Matthew Goode' and he stays with 'India' and her distant mother 'Evelyn' (Nicole Kidman). 'India' tries to keep her distance from her charming yet slightly off uncle. It does an excellent job at first of building an uneasy relationship with the two as well as her meek, emotionally unstable mother (who clearly has little interest in her own daughter).

I felt like there was an air of supernatural going on, naturally this is my own reasoning so when it doesn't I did feel a little disappointed. there is that feeling throughout it, even when it's 100% clear there is something wrong with 'Charlie'. Part of mystery building is the emptiness of the house and of course Park Chan-wook's camera work and uses sound to show sort of parity between 'India' and 'Charlie'. The use of space and silence is another aspect that 'Park' is no stranger to and it's probably the film that has the most of it.

Unfortunately the film loses the tension and mystery it builds with the weak reasoning in a rather typical and bland manner. It loses all sense of its identity and becomes something I wouldn't expect of 'Park'. The performances are excellent (which they are Goode in particularly is fantastic - having a perfect mix of charm and perverted.). But even they can't prevent it's final 30 minutes.

'Stoker' is a minor blip in Park's filmography, it's still decent film with his usual panache and beautiful shots but it ultimately falls short of his other films. There are brilliant performances throughout - Goode, Kidman and Wasikowska work like a metronome together. This film needed a strong reveal, the slow trickle of the mystery and 'Charles' interest in 'India' set it all up. But it hits with a light breeze and all that good will is reduced to a disappointing wimpier.