Jay Dubb's Profile - Rotten Tomatoes

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Rating History

Kong: Skull Island
4 months ago via Rotten Tomatoes

QUICK REVIEW:
The visuals are awesome and King Kong the ape is HUMONGOUS! And of course, Samuel L. Jackson is great as Samuel L. Jackson lol

FULL REVIEW:

Maybe I'm not much of a creature feature fan anymore, but I don't seem to care for any Giant Monster movie outside of Jurassic Park. Maybe it was 1997's Godzilla, or Jack Black's version of King Kong, but giant monsters don't seem to strike the same cord they did say....50 years ago? I'm not sure but as visually stunning as this movie is - the realism gets in the way of the fantasy.

Yeah, that sounds right. Like, how is that EVERYBODY including military and civilians can survive a 100ft Ape attack in undiscovered terrain....and survive??! And not only survive, but not get a scratch, not dirty up their clothes, and not mess up their hair??

That is the problem I deal with as a die-hard movie fan; once you've seen something as cleverly done as 'Cloverfield' (JJ Abrams masterful monster flick) - which was hyper-realistic, jerky handheld camera, cuts, blood, bruises and all - blockbuster features like this just lack in that department.

One thing that suffers in monster movies is characterization. Typical for Hollywood movies, we learn just enough about the people as for WHY they are about to become victims, but not enough to truly care if they live or die. Really they are just monster fodder spitting out one-liners until they get chomped.

That being said, the script lacks any kind of meat and the dialogue was second rate. But of course SAMUEL L. JACKSON makes the most of his character! This entire movie could have easily been Jackson vs. Kong. (actually, it becomes that in the third act)


But...to be fair, what it lacks in plausibility it makes up for in Special effects.
King Kong's special effects are some of the best I've ever seen. And to prove the point, we get Kong early in the movie and OFTEN.

I would have like a bit more suspenseful build-up. I mean, Kong shows up rather early so the Great Reveal diminishes immediately. We know he is coming, but maybe delay the gratuity a bit longer? Once you've seen how MASSIVE Kong is, from there it's just a matter of By-The-Numbers story telling;

The people arrive. The Truth of the mission is revealed. Huge monsters appear. Bad Things happen and everyone barely escapes. THE END.

The movie has a healthy dose of drama and thrills and a little bit of comedy - And it looks stunning! But...I've seen this movie a dozen times. the only thing different is the effects get better. i don't dislike it, but if I never see it again for the rest of my life? I won't care.

Logan
Logan (2017)
4 months ago via Rotten Tomatoes

QUICK REVIEW:
Good news - We get the Wolverine we been dying to see for the past 20 years!
Bad News - He is old as f**k.

[SLIGHT SPOILERS]

The moment was in 'X2: X-Men United' when we get the first glimpse of Wolverine going into his famous 'berserker' mode! The part when the soldiers attack the mansion. It was The Moment all of us Wolverine / X-Men fans were dying to see! We forgave the PG-13 rating as long as we got to see Wolvie go nuts, slicing and dicing u bad guys. Sans blood.

'Logan' makes up for Allllll the blood and guts that every PG-13 movie could never show. And that is a bit of a shame for this franchise. The first Wolverine movie was so horrendous that my commentary ends here. The second one gave us more action and more people to watch Wolverine kill, but again...claws slicing people up without bloodshed was so ridiculous we still couldn't but into it.

We all love Wolverine because he is the ultimate anti-hero. He is absolutely TERRIFYING and you're glad he's on the good guys side. Notice I didn't say he IS a good guy. Like Punisher and Deadpool - Wolverine is that middle ground character who isn't evil, but he isn't the most righteous person on the planet. He's that guy who doesn't mind carnage and mayhem to get results. If its for a greater 'good'? - then so be it.

Which brings me to LOGAN. I really want to like this movie. Hell, I want to LOVE it. But seeing one of the greatest characters play out his final days, ambling about like a lame, coughing and wheezing and swearing, while having occasional bouts of violent rages - not exactly the Wolverine I want to see.

The Wolverine WE get is in the year 2029 (which makes him well over 100 years old). He is shacked up with an impossibly fragile Professor X and - get this - CALIBAN. Why In god's name of ALLLLL the mutants to pick for Wolverine to spend his final days...WHY CALIBAN?? Caliban came across as a quasi-gay, vampire caretaker dying of AIDS, rather than a former mutant hunter for Apocalypse. I just couldn't buy into that dynamic. Why wouldn't Logan pick Jubilee or Storm, or hell, ANYONE?? anyone but CALIBAN. Geezus! lol

So Professor X is wasting away as the World's Most Powerful Psychic Invalid - and Wolverine is dying from what we assume is Adamantium poisoning. And Caliban is - well, CALIBAN (lord.....smh) the whole thing is a dreary mess.

That is, until X-23 shows up!! :D :D

Thankfully, this movie gets a dose of 'OH F**K DID THAT JUST HAPPEN?' once X-23 comes into the story line. So without giving anything away, The Weapon X program was continued and the revelation is the 'x' is not the letter X but the number 10 - as in the Weapon #10, the system tried 10x until the made Wolverine (hence, Weapon X). Now here we flash forward into the future and the Weapon program has been cloning the powers of dead mutants with children. Some worked and some did not. Weapon #23 is a Wolverine clone (X-23), a female version! And damn she is a wild little Bad-azz!

The movie jumps into high gear from here. Well, as high as it can get with three of the lamest broken down characters ever featured in the entire X-saga. Oh man its just pitiful seeing Logan/James Howlett hobbling about all dusty and crusty :(

So apparently something Very Very Terrible happened to every mutant on Earth and I guess only Wolverine and Professor X survived. And CALIBAN (Whyyyyyy....).

Anyway. The Reavers are the bad guys and apparently Pierce is the one guy among plenty of cybernetic-enhanced mercenaries who seems to have any clue on how to fight a LAME Wolverine. And by lame I mean physically lame. He's on his last leg and still, 50 bionic men can't stop him. That's a testament to both his legendary fighting prowess AND how ill-trained the bad guys were haha! :P

I enjoyed every second of X-23, but In the end this sad, sad R-Rated blood-fest about our favorite heroic mutant maniac comes to a whimpering halt.

And I'm exactly not happy about that.

Hopefully Bishop alters time and changes this shit.

John Wick: Chapter 2
5 months ago via Rotten Tomatoes
½

4 1/2 stars!

30 SECOND REVIEW:
Better than the first! Keanu Reeves is perfect as John Wick! This movie is Everything that made the first movie an instant classic but better! Quadruple the action and uber-stylish set-pieces. This is carnage with a touch of class lol!

FULL REVIEW:
SO if you haven't been on Planet Earth the past two years, Keanu Reeves reinvented himself with a new action anti-hero named John Wick - a legendary hitman who 'retired' to the normal life, only to be DRAGGED back in after Russian mobsters stole his car and killed his puppy (awww, sad!). The first JW is the ultimate revenge movie...

Chapter 2 (the actual title) picks up right where part 1 left off! So John is literally picking up the pieces from the first movie (funny actually lol) and damn if his old life doesn't come knocking at his door - AGAIN!

So what's a retired super-assassin to do? THIS ONE LAST THING. Only, of course we all know that the ONE LAST THING, is never quite that. John Wick comes back to finish up an old debt and get out of the assassain game for GOOD...

Only problem is... this time around every assassin in the WORLD wants a piece of John Wick! Which just means we get to see him kill even MORE people in the most insane display of 'Gun-Fu' (I coined that phrase!) you've ever seen!

Look, I've seen tons of action flicks including early John Woo stuff (Hong Kong action maestro) - but John Wick is a different level of 'gun-foolery'! (also coined!)

Keanu is PERFECT as the impeccably dressed hitman with a dazzling array of hi-tech gear and gadgets. This is like a bloodier James Bond, with less quips and more dead bodies lol lol

If you love action OR like me if you jus love everything that Keanu Reeves does then you MUST see John Wick Chapter 2!

If you haven't seen pt. 1 yet then... slap yourself and un-friend your life. haha.. No I'm just kidding, just kidding!

But seriously, you do suck.

4 1/2 Stars

Split
Split (2017)
5 months ago via Rotten Tomatoes

M. Night, consider retiring from making movies.

2002 is the last time I can remember being genuinely entertained and satisfied by an M. Night movie. That movie was 'Signs' and it was a timely and fascinating discussion about mysterious crop circles popping up around the world. (of course, turned out to be alien coordinates).

Since then he has made a string of missteps and flops, and the NOTORIOUSLY wretched version of my beloved 'Avatar: The Last Airbender- one of THE greatest animated series of all time and he DESTROYED IT!

I told myself I would NEVER forgive M. Night for what he did to my 'Airbender' and I vowed never again to pay for another of his movies. I caught 'Split' on a discount night so justified paying only $5 and some spare change...


Well I want my $5 back.

Here is something I usually do not say about a movie: I simply did not like SPLIT.

The premise of Split is thus: three teen girls are kidnapped by a man (James McAvoy) with split personality disorder. He supposedly has 23 different personalities and a doctor who has been working with him for years.

Our bait is that his doctor believes that this DISORDER is actually a sort of human evolution, where different psyches also have different physiological abilities - meaning, each persona has its own physical traits and skills as well a mental identity. We are led to feel a sort of SYMPATHY for the abductor upon learning that his fracture mind is due to childhood abuse....

This would have been a fine movie just on the premise of THAT ALONE - Buuuuut, M. Night decides that we should revel in this 'extraordinary' discovery at the peril of three teenage girls. Turns out that the other 23 personalities reveal a (drumroll please.......) 24th PERSONALITY! This *new* psyche is supposed to be some sort of amalgamation of different powers combined to form the Beast.

The kidnapped girls are tortured with the idea of The Beast throughout the entire movie and that's where I had a problem. M. Night takes a probable fascinating idea and sullies it with base-level abduction movie tripe. We are to believe that in this uber-connected world we live in, a single mane can kidnap not one...not two...but THREE grown and capable girls in broad daylight!

Not only that but M. Night cranks up the icky factor by introducing what I thought was a totally unnecessary subplot involving a situation even more disturbing than the present dilemma. I found myself sitting for 2 hours just WAITING for something to resolve or some huge amazing plot twist reveal......

Annnnd, disappointment.

I was disappointed in the fact that we are TOLD that there are 23 psyches and yet we only meet 5 or 6 of them! I mean...that would have been cool to meet every single one at same point in the movie.

Also, McAvoy's acting as a split nut job was just okay. It wasn't the BEST split personality performance I'd seen. That would be Andy Serkis as Smeagol/Gollum in the LOTR series. Yes it was motion-capture, but that was Serkis under that makeup doing all of that incredible acting!

Another thing I didn't like about this movie is the usual tedious Damsel(s) in distress to further a plot. The tired notion that girls/women are easily captured and constantly in peril as helpless wimps. This was woefully on display early in the movie as one girl had a GREAT escape plan, but was talked down by another (WHY?? why not at least TRY to escape?), only to meet her eventual demise. Smh.... no spoiler there.


SPLIT may sound like a very interesting premise -and the trailers show plenty of promise - but the execution falls woefully short of expectations. In the end, SPLIT is unfortunately much too predictable even by M. Night's recent standards.

Not only did I feel disengaged, I felt a bit disturbed and angry out how fetid the ending played out. And a bit confused.

Are we supposed to feel sorry for the victims? Or marvel at the antagonist?
What was the point of that DREADFUL subplot?

And the 'final surprise' was such a ridiculous attempt at a Marvel Universe moment I just scoffed and walked out the theater.

Geezus M. Night.... just stop already.