Vuk's Review of Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1
So, since I've reviewed some pretty shit movies by now, why not give this one a try?
This is actually the only movie of the series I HAVE ever seen, and the only one I WILL ever see. I went to the cinema with two of my friends, one of them a girl who likes the series, the other a guy who doesn't care and just went out of fun. Anyway we made lots of jokes about the series being homoerotic, in order to make the guy feel unpleasant, when a few minutes into the movie, the Jacob character takes his shirt off. Joke went well.
Bella and Edward had lots of sex (which is like a spoiler, but hey, they can't be virgins forever) and Bella notices she has lots of bruises all over her body. I just stared at the female friend, who was sitting next to me, since she was complaining a few days about some bruise on her arm. Later, Bella said something about missing her period. I accidentally said, a bit too loud, "Of course it's late, he drank it all", and caused mass laughter in the cinema.
When the movie ended, there was some message on the screen to look below our seats for a little paper in order to win the book (guess which one). I reached below my seat, stood up and gave my friend the paper, she immediately went to claim her book.
All in all, I had a lot of fun joking around, I felt like I was in an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000. As for the movie, it was a load of tweenage bullshit. Damn, you'd think a vampire movie would have, well, more blood than tears in it. Well, at least the birth scene was gory xD Anyway, I am giving this movie half a star more because of the fun I had.
Oh, if only there were modern episodes of MST3k.