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Movie Ratings and Reviews


This is a fairly film that unfortunately gets bogged down in its own "Tarkovskyness". An interesting concept that Andrei Tarkovsky spoils through his slow, plodding style. You feel that he was trying to express something he had been contemplating, and ultimately his message is lost in the endless scenes with few payoffs.

There are elements to like in the film, such as the exploration of The Zone and some of the characters are interesting, but Tarkovsky needs to learn that sometimes making a film vague and distant doesn't make it profound, it just makes it boring.

Panic Room
Panic Room(2002)

Honestly, this is my favorite David Fincher film so far. Great little contained space thriller. Oh, and you get to see Kristen Stewart get punched face, for all those TWILIGHT haters.


Underated little thriller.

Schindler's List

Like Roman Polanski's "The Pianist", this is a tale of the Jews during the horrors of the holocaust. Spielberg steps away from his usual style of filmmaking and tells the story of a German who starts off exploiting the war for his own business ends, and becomes aware of a world of pain, sorrow, and fear he did not know before.

Like "The Pianist" this film is very graphic and for some people may be difficult to sit through, and is briefly marred by a few moments where you feel it should have held back a more (such as a pointless and brief sex scene). But the ending is one of the most heartening things ever shot on film, and a beautiful tale of survival, hope, and the cost of human life.

Close Encounters of the Third Kind

A fantastic sci-fi film about UFOs. The effects, cinematography, acting, music, and other elements blend seamlessly in this authentically Steven Spielberg film. Unfortunately the film suffers from a story point involving a man tearing his family apart through an obsession. In the end the film is beautiful to look at, end even poetic at points, but the story falls flat moments and its climactic third act is both jaw-droppingly astonishing and frustrating at the same time.


I was hoping for a unique little Indie film about a killer tire. What I got was a bunch of nonsense about how this film is a declaration of reasonless storytelling. It has its entertaining bits, but from the first scene we are literally told that this is non-linear storytelling without reason. As such there is barely any story thread, characters, or singular scene that leads coherently into the next, and all for no reason at all.

It' a surrealist film who's point is that it has no point.

The Sitter
The Sitter(2011)

A raunchy comedy about a babysitter buying drugs and getting into trouble with the mob. Need I say more? A few funny jokes couldn't save this movie.

Fantasia 2000

It's 2000!

The Eagle
The Eagle(2011)

So this was pretty decent. Nice little Ancient Roman movie. If your a fan of the book, it shouldn't tick you off, so that's nice.

Donnie Darko
Donnie Darko(2001)

A fascinating, yet ultimately unfulfilling cult film. The style director Richard Kelly employs is dark and disorienting at times, as it should be for a film shrouded in such surreal mystery. The film eventually loses momentum in the ending which, while it makes for interesting conversations afterwards, is a look at self sacrifice that destroys itself through circular reasoning.

Engaging at times, the film ends up being nothing more than a movie more interested in putting together the pieces of a puzzle while looking smart and sophisticated rather than actually asking any important questions.

Men in Black
Men in Black(1997)

Campy sci-fi 90's comedy with crappy CGI. Sounds good to me!


Effective pot-boiler starring Ryan Gosling as a stunt car driver who drags himself into the world of underground crime to save a family. The film has fantastic style and does a great job of delving into the world of the characters surrounding Gosling's emotionally distant character. The film does unfortunately have some gratuitous moments, but it remains a well made edge-of-your-seat thriller relying on atmosphere and characters to drive the drama, rather than action (although there are some great car chases in this thing as well).

Real Steel
Real Steel(2011)

REAL STEEL was real great!

Clash of the Titans

Ha ha ha ha! Oh "Clash of the Titans"...

Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark

Scary up until the moment they show you the critters. Still very well made.

Paranormal Activity 2

Ok. Seriously. These movies aren't scary. Stop it. Now.

Granted, this one is a little cooler than the first one, but "cool" doesn't = "frightening".

Easily over half the movie could be just cut out without losing anything, there are too many long slow build ups to things that aren't even scary (do we seriously need several minutes to build up to a door moving by itself?), and when it does pay isn't scary! I'm sorry, I've seen people get dragged around and thrown in closets before...and done better.

If you want an actually frightening found footage movie, stick with "Apollo 18"

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader

Blah blah blah. It goes against the books. Whatever. The film, on it's own, isn't half bad. Not terribly great or anything, but not bad enough that it warrants bad word of mouth.

Of Gods and Men

Absolutely beautiful movie. Long, slow, and artsy. But beautiful from a cinematic standpoint as well as a story telling standpoint.


Not a bad little popcorn muncher. check it out if you don't have anything better to watch (which you probably do).


Weird freaking movie. And I loved every minute of it! It's a good old fashioned "Boo, I scared you!" sort of movie. It harkens back to when haunted house movies were all about atmosphere and faces in the window. It almost feels like it was ripped straight out of the 70's, or at least the same fabric. That being said, don't expect a conventional thriller film. This thing has its fair share of camp and corniness. For me, that was part of the charm. From the geeky paranormal investigators to the old lady who can talk to the dead, this movie is filled with silliness, and it knows it. One of the most fun times I've had with a haunting movie. And again, it gets really freaking weird and creepy during the final act.

The Last Airbender

Doesn't deserve all the hate it gets (mainly from fans fo the animated show). Doesn't make it a great movie, though. Bad...but I've seen worse. MUCH worse.

Tron Legacy
Tron Legacy(2010)

Better than the original. Get over it, hipsters.


Expertly made film. However, even Cameron's eye for style and cinematic beauty can't save a rehashed, heavy handed, poor excuse for a story. Worth watching and re-watching merely for the aesthetic appeal alone, but only if you don't let the narrative get on your nerves.

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

This is a big, loud, stupid, poorly acted, poorly directed, not well thought out, sorry excuse for a movie. And I enjoyed every minute of it. Yes, I understand just how bad this movie may be; that being said, it had guys in robot suits running through Paris. It had underwater spaceship battles. It had Ninja fights, big guns, and explosions.

This is not a great movie, it may not even be a good movie. But man did I enjoy the hell out of it! Shut up, sit down, turn your brain off, and let the stupid do the talking.

Astro Boy (AstroBoy)

A great little superhero movie that's fun for the whole family! Wow, that really sounded forced. Anyway, it's worth a look for family movie night. It's got action, character, and heart. Voice acting wasn't the best but now I'm nitpicking. It's like "The Incredibles" meets "Mega Man"!


Starts out great, gets better, than flashlight mouth happens and the whole movie falls apart from there.

S. Darko: A Donnie Darko Tale

Feels more like a fanfic than an actual sequel. Hits all of the references to "Donnie Darko" with little of the meaning. If it wanted to be a successful sequel it should have went on to be its own movie without any of the old characters and new surreal situations to tie together in the end.

Black Dynamite

Blacksploitation is blacksploitation.

Hot Fuzz
Hot Fuzz(2007)

One of the flat out funniest films I've ever seen, as well as sporting one of the most action packed finales ever. So British.

Children of Men

This movie has some of the best cinematic moments ever captured on film. Very powerful.

Paranormal Activity

Boring. Just boring. You could cut out almost all this movie and you wouldn't miss anything. I'm sorry, slogging through 20 minutes of watching people sleep and goof off with the camera to get to a shot of a door moving slightly doesn't make for a scary film.

Kataude mashin gâru (The Machine Girl)

There is a point when over-the-top just becomes flat out bad. Still can't believe I sat through this entire thing.

The Village
The Village(2004)

A typical Shyamalan film that builds up as the film progresses, only to plummet towards the end. The film is fairly intense at moments, and the mystery surrounding the village draws you in, but a Shyamalan plot twist about three quarters in ruins the aura. You can either see it as a cautionary tale or an affirmation of self-deception, either way, the ending is frustratingly unsatisfying for a film that started out so promising.

Men in Black II

Not nearly as good as the first one. Although the fun camp factor is still here, for some reason it feels forced. Perhaps it's the added crass jokes or the throw away references/gags to the first movie. Either way, a lot of the charm is lost this time (though not entirely gone).

The Boondock Saints

A fun film about a pair of Irish Catholic brothers who kill mobsters in the name of God. The film gets bogged down in its declaration of vigilante violence sometimes and is marred by violence, brief nudity, and constant language. In the end, though, it's a well made, well written, over-the-top, guns n' shootouts action flick.

The Pianist
The Pianist(2002)

A beautiful tale of survival during the holocaust. A difficult film to watch, and certainly not for everyone, but for those who can stomach the atrocities it is a wonderful testament to the people who lived through the holocaust.

The Raid: Redemption

Holy cow was this movie exhausting! Easily one of the most intense action films I've seen. And the violence! Good gosh!

Colossus: The Forbin Project

A rather interesting movie that has some great moments peppered in the jargon. Too bad the writers couldn't think of an ending.

Emergo (Apartment 143)

Starts out like any other supernatural found footage movie, going for predictable "scares" and unfrightening cliches. At about the halfway mark, though, it takes a sudden turn in a different direction, and I'll admit, despite the poor acting and other faults the movie may have, it pulls some creative gimmicks I haven't seen before, and at least tries to be more than your average found footage flick.

Ed Wood
Ed Wood(1994)

Weird as this movie is, I find it kind of inspiring to a young filmmaker. Minus the parts where Johnny Depp cross dresses, of course. Funny and somewhat touching in its own, Tim Burtony way.

Also, Martin Landau is perfect as Bela Lugosi.

Ivan's Childhood (Ivanovo detstvo)

Anrei Tarkovsky's best work about a boy working in the Russian army agains the German forces. The film highlights what war does to innocence in a way we haven't seen before, and does it in Tarkovsky's usual slow, thoughtful style that has been both his undoing and his greatest tool in future films. Here he sticks to a straight narrative and tells a war story from a boy soldier's perspective, and shows us just much war can change us while we struggle to keep who we are intact.

Naqoyqatsi (Naqoyqatsi: Life as War)

The first two films in the trilogy worked because behind they focused on life and had meaning behind the imagry. This just feels like some pretentious film student founf a bunch of stock footage and figured out how to apply fancy color filters.

Resident Evil

All style and no substance. The absurd action can be entertaining, but it's not enough to make up for the fact that it tries to make a simple plot more confusing than it needs to be. Silly and somewhat fun, yet forgettable.

Starship Troopers 2: Hero of the Federation

Chalk this one up as a horrible, cheesy, low budget, groan worthy sequel to the wonderful Paul Verhoeven original. Once you hit the halfway point though, it is worth it just for the "so-bad-it's-good" factor. Can't say I wasn't bored.

Vampyr - Der Traum des Allan Grey

Surreal and haunting, just the way I like it.

Eyes Without a Face

It's like someone took a B-film story and made a French art film out of it. Echoing H.G. Wells' "The Island of Dr. Moreau", this chilling tale of sorrow, vanity, and medical experimentation explores the dangers of terrible acts with well meant intentions.

Psycho II
Psycho II(1983)

Surprisingly not terrible! Not to say that this film lives up to Hitchcock's original classic, but this second chapter in the tale of Norman Bates at least tries to hold its own. Slow, predictable, and forgettable, it's an 80's slasher that has more in common with "Friday the 13th" than "Psycho". But if you're a fan of the original I'd say check it out, if only for curiosity's sake.