Leo Gibson's Profile - Rotten Tomatoes

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Rating History

Grown Ups 2
Grown Ups 2 (2013)
4 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

Now this is how sequels are done! I never saw the original Grown Ups, but after seeing this powerful film, I will be sure to check it out. Probably the biggest feat attained in this movie is that no prior knowledge of the previous film is needed to understand this one. It's really quite remarkable! Ten minutes in, and I already knew all I needed to know about the characters. Although I hadn't seen the first one, I found this installment quite easy to follow, which is a very good sign. Let's start dissecting this masterwork.

Grown Ups 2 is about a mentally retarded man who is forced to live with the shame of his severe mental handicap. Shunned by society, his only human contact is with his small group of equally retarded friends (each one more mentally challenged than the last). Over the course of two hours, he demonstrates what it is like to be a retarded potato in America today, expertly skewering our mental health care system and society's persecution of people with mental problems. By the end, you will never see a retard the same way again.

Perhaps the greatest acheivement in this film is from Adam Sandler, who normally works in comedy. But he is absolutely gripping here in his very serious and down-to-earth portrayal of the main character, who has a severe case of down syndrome. He also has a malignant brain tumor that eats away at his grey matter, making him increasingly retarded throughout the film. As his mental state deteriorates, the audience can't help but be sucked in. I don't know about you, but I shed a tear when he laughed at Kevin James's "burp snart" (a burp, fart, and sneeze all in one). The thought of a human being becoming retarded and pathetic enough to laugh at such a thing is absolutely gut-wrenching.

Altogether, I give Grown Ups 2 a solid 8/10. This film is masterfully crafted. All I can think is that the people who hated this expected a comedy but instead got a critical indictment of America's views on retardation, and they couldn't handle the pure dramatic intensity of the movie. The people who laughed at this absolutely disgust me. That's like seeing a potato in a wheelchair, drooling out of the left side of his mouth, and laughing at him. Wow. That's fucked up. Anyway, to experience the full dramatic range of Adam Sandler, you must watch this film. I guarantee that you will not be disappointed.

Blue Is The Warmest Color
4 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

After having this film come so highly recommended to me, from both Diego Tutweiller and Chase Nyland, I figured it was about time that I check it out. So I pirated it from a wonderful website called PornHub.com. I was unimpressed. Unlike one of my favorite genre films, Back Door Butt Fuck Sluts Gone Nuts Vol. XXVII, it did not deliver on the "all anal action," "freaky lesbians playing with their toys," and "hours of eleven-inch strap-on pelvic thrusts," like it was advertised to have. In fact, very little of this film featured the "erotic girl-on-girl action" that my colleagues stated it did.

Although I do like my porn to have a story to it, this porno takes far too long to get around to the actual sex. And when it does, the performers are clearly amateurs. I mean, they don't even use a real vagina! It's a prosthetic! Do I look stupid? I have been watching and reviewing films of this genre ever since I hit puberty, so don't act like I can't tell the difference between a rubber vagina and a real one. Ridiculous. These girls need to get down and dirty if they expect me to pay attention.

This film is fine overall, but pales in comparison to such classics of the genre as Dyke Hard, When Harry Ate Sally, and Call of Booty: Modern Whorefare. Unlike those masterpieces, this film contains very little graphic strap-on penetration, scissoring, fisting, and hardcore sex of any kind. What a disappointment. Also, what kind of a name is "Blue is the Warmest Color?" It should have had a far more inventive title than that. Saturday Night Beaver? Cumming to America? The Lord of the Anal Beads? You guys seriously passed all of these up?

Overall, I give Blue is the Warmest Color 4 out of 10 stars. It's not that bad once you get past how tame it all is, but there's still far too much talking and nearly none of the hardcore sex that films of this genre should have. Prudish movies like this might have been okay for the 1950s, but nowadays, we should expect more.

Atrocious (2011)
4 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

It lives up to its name.

Sahara (2005)
4 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

Ah, the days before Matthew McConaughey was good. This is probably one of the worst movies I've ever seen; a painfully generic and idiotic adventure movie that has no purpose or entertainment value of any kind. It's basically two hours of a pale and lifeless Indiana Jones rip-off with none of the fun or awesome stunts. Skip this one.

The Lovely Bones
4 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

First let me say that I really respect Peter Jackson as a director. I think he's got a great eye for visuals and is one of the better storytellers of our time. That said, this movie only features the former. It has INCREDIBLY imaginative visuals, but basically nothing in the way of plot or characters. All of the dialogue is very contrived, and there's basically nothing to it that I found intriguing. Adding to its flaws is an overall feeling of exhausting pretentiousness and a 2:15 running time. If this movie just thought less of itself, it could be fun. But seeing as it apparently thinks it's exposing revelations about the afterlife or whatever, it just comes off as holier-than-thou bullshit.

I'm not a fan of Mark Wahlberg, and he's no better or less bland here than he was in Ted. But he's not to be singled out, as the other actors don't really put much effort in either. This might have been acceptable from another director, but the guy who did the LORD OF THE RINGS TRILOGY? Come on. Give your actors some motivation. As for the story, it seems more like a children's book with a lot of pictures than a feature film. Also, that bitch from The Host was in this. So that's a point deduction right there.

THE LOVELY BONES OFFICIAL KEANU SCORE: 2/10. The visuals are imaginative, but even with them, the story lacks meaning and purpose. And sometimes, the visual effects are so clearly CGI, it detracts from the story and even looks fake. Altogether, this is a really big disappointment for anyone who was a fan of the LOTR movies, and a big setback for this director in general. It's almost impossible to sit through.