Jett's Review of Gravity
I just saw Gravity with high expectations. The film started out like Mission to Mars and ended up like Spaceballs.
I love George Clooney but basically just tolerate Sandra Bullock - i'm not crazy about her, but i do respect her acting ability and widespread appeal. I loved Clooney in Solaris, and Bullock has done some decent non-comedic work with 'the Lake House' and 'the Blind Side'. Now, over the past few weeks, the professional film review machine was fully cranked and bloviating over this film, with one reviewer even comparing it to Kubricks '2001 A Space Odyssey'. As such, I felt we were all set for a major movie magic due to the great cast, gripping plot and millions spent on 'groundbreaking' special effects. That said, gravity has to be one of the biggest cinematic letdowns I've experienced in recent memory.
(**moderate spoilers ahead**)
The film starts out interestingly enough with the crew in space going about their business. The compulsory witty dialogue out of Clooney is free flowing, and Bullock is being her usual affable self. Then the crisis hits, which was scripted and portrayed satisfactorily, but to my dismay, there was no amazing departure from scenes in films like 2001 a Space Odyssey or Mission To Mars; in fact, there were borrowed elements from both. Bullock's character seems professional and capable enough at whatever task she was performing, but quickly constricts into a hyperventilating amateur with a nervous hick accent. The sense of crisis becomes notably less palpable and less believable as the film trudges along.
If an entire hour of Bullock performing solo under those circumstances isn't irritating enough for you, pay attention to the sheer amount of blunders she pulls off - one after the other. It literally got to the point where i was comically trying to predict her next screw-up, and how she would handle the ensuing crisis without having some rudimentary astronaut skills, because that's what it felt like. If you can picture, say Sarah Palin or some lucky soccer mom hitching a ride into space with the shuttle crew who suddenly find themselves thrown into utter chaos, well.. you get the picture. There is a short scene where Clooney re-enters the film, and I felt a jolt of excitement. I thought he had returned to save Bullock (in more ways than one), but alas, she was merely succumbing to the effects of low oxygen.
The movie started out intriguing enough but quickly degenerated into a predictable, boring, corny and I'm sorry to say - comical film. The few gratuitous butt shots provided by the milfy Bullock were hardly redeeming, and the few iconic shots attemped by Cuaron (like Bullock floating in a fetal position after entering the soyuz, or standing victoriously on land after nearly drowning via ocean landing because she didn't have the presence of mind to remove her space suit before swimming out of the capsule) were just fail.
Gravity is not worth the money spent, especially considering the cost of gas to get to the theater, parking fees (if applicable), snacks, dinner afterwards, etc. If you have an expensive date lined up, skipping Gravity would be your first attempt at trimming down costs for the evening.