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There's not many trilogies that contain 3 excellent films, but there's also not many trilogies that get as exponential worse as the House of the Dead trilogy. Yes, even though this 3rd film was retitled Dead and Deader; it's a House of the Dead movie.
Unlike the previous H.O.D movies. The third doesn't even try to integrate itself with the videogame series( except for that needing a 1st generation zombie sample b.s). Dean Cain is the lead as Lt. Bobby Quinn a special forces soldier who is half zombified by virus carrying scorpions ( yeah). The rest of his team is full zombie and wreak havoc on the military base.
Initially, it was a refresher to see a H.O.D movie not take itself seriously and actually have an interesting plot. That's where the compliments end though. From here on out we are teamed with a black cook who is clearly a rip off of L.L. Cool J from Deep Blue Sea, and he is in the movie to do the stereotypical black guy( go damn!, Shit! And that is whack!). But he's not the only one with bad lines; half of this movies' dialogue is made up of references.
: There is a scene with two soldiers sitting in a supply truck, you know they're going to be killed but they don't show them being killed or even them encountering zombies. Their two minutes of screentime is spent debating who played the best James Bond.
There are countless Dawn of the Dead and George A. Romero references; which begs the question: If you're making a zombie movie why would you keep referencing zombie movies that are better than yours? It makes the viewer go " Yeah I remember that movie, it was really good....Why am I watching this piece of s**t.
The movie plays out like every H.O.D movie: evil scientist doing experiments on dead bodies but needs 1st generation zombie blood because apparently zombie blood gets outdated like ipods, scientist fucks with main characters and forces them to come with him on his zombie blood quest, they find the 1st gen and the scientist gets bit, everyone bad dies and our main characters survive........... Wait wasn't Dean Cain still a half zombie at the end who if he does that way redmeat will turn. Into a full zombie? Yeah that's not addressed like a number of plot holes in this "film".
I hated this movie, the dialogue was lazy, characters were stupid, and really could you have made the black guy anymore stereotypical. The only thing that amused me was the evil scientist played by Peter Greene( otherwise known as Zed from Pulp Fiction) who's most famous line is " Bring out the Gimp". Just Everytime I see his face I laugh thinking of that line( yeah that was my saving grace, laughing at a line of dialogue on of these actors said in another movie....Need I say more)?
There's almost no way to review the movie Ninja Terminator because it makes no F**king sense. There is a reason for that though, and because two completely unrelated movies were spliced together and voice dubbed to create the weirdest, worst, yet at times badass martial arts movies.
There is the Ninja Terminator story which is garbage, there's a golden statue that has 3 pieces. When the pieces are combined he holder becomes impervious even to samurai swords. Theres a red ninja who you never find out their name and 3 black ninjas. 2 of the black ninjas are middle aged white guys and the third is japanese??? Japanese Ninja ( named Tomashi) gets killed by red ninja and then the splicing begins.
Red Ninjas call up a Yakuza in another movie to kidnap the Tomashis sister as random so the two middle-aged white ninjas will give up their piece of the statue. So Harry McQueen( Richard Harrison A.K.A middles aged white guy ninja) calls a private eye and overall badass in the other movie named Jaguar Wong ( Jack Lam) to help rescue Tomashis sister.
Jaguar Wong is awesome and had it only been his movie it would've been really cool. Instead you go back and forth Jaguar Wong fight, red ninja breaks into Harry McQueen's house, Jaguar Wong fight, red ninja breaks into other middle-aged ninjas house, Jaguar Wong fight etc. until Jaguar Wong rescues Tomashis sister from one of the most ridiculous looking villains ever Tiger Chan a Yakuza who dresses normal, business suit, gloves, nice tie but then there is this bizarre blonde Bob haircut wig which is so ludicrous you can't help but double over in laughter Everytime it's on-screen. Tiger Chan's death is as ridiculous as his wig too as he somehow jumps down with enough force that he gets sticks waist deep in sand and Jaguar Wong kicks him to death.... Maybe death he might've just beat him up.
Oh I didn't forget about the other story going on. Red Ninja challenges both middle-aged ninjas to a showdown. In preparation all three ninjas are testing swords on themselves and they're all invincible; which is Bulls**t because it's already been established that all three pieces are needed. If you're invincible with the one piece who gives a s**t about the other two. ((Deep breath.....Deep breath)).
Dumb five minute fight happens, middle-aged ninja who's name I never learned bites the dust because for some reason they become uninvincible during the fight( not explained). Harry McQueen holds the full gulden ninja statue and the red ninja blows himself up. End. Credits.
What you just read was more coherent t than what I actually saw because I've left out other major continuity problems. Sooooo much reusing footage Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh! I've never had a movie leave me speechless but Ninja Terminator did it. Do I recommend it? If you want to feel like youve had the men in black memory swipe, this is the movie for you. But if you watch on YouTube and just skip to the Jaguar Wong parts you'll enjoy yourself. I don't know what to make of this movie.
It's hard to talk about Batman without letting my fandom take over, but seeing how LEGO Batman references so much Batman history; it's only appropriate to review it from a fan perspective. With that being said, "LEGO Batman" is by far my favorite Batman movie behind the original Adam West Batman. I loved "Batman Begins" and the "Dark Knight" but even those didn't keep me quite as entertained from opening shot to credits.
"LEGO Batman" is an encyclopedia of Batman knowledge,: from the laundry list of villains from comics and TV shows, to the marketing of Batman to kids in the 90s that included some of the most ridiculous Batman specialized action figures ( I'm pretty sure I had Arctic freeze batman s a kid). The unrequited love/hate plot between Batman and Joker is a hilarious play in their history as well.
At first I was skeptical that the LEGO version would be geared too much toward a 10 and under audience, but was pleasantly surprised how well it translates no matter how long you've been a Batman fan. Even if it's your first Batman movie it sums up his whole mythology well enough that you could understand his past, and motivations. (Will Arnett) takes the character in a more arrogant and look at me I'm Batman sort of way but it works so well because you could easily see a billionaire playboy having an unhealthy ego, even that plays well in showing batmans solitude and loneliness.
Simply put,this movie is amazing, and definitely the most fun I've had at the theater in a while. It's worth the full price of admission and I think seeing it on a small screen wouldn't do justice to the beautiful graphics this film has to offer. Grab your kids, your parents, your grandparents,friends, grab whoever and go see "LEGO Batman".
(( Major SPOILERS!!!))
but this movie sucks anyways.
When it comes to renegade cop movies, there are certain things that we've come to expect. The villain will be protected by law because the detective was a hot head and didn't obtain evidence properly, the detective stalks and bothers the villain until the department says "leave it alone", detective catches villain in next act of violence(within confines of the law) and kills him(justifiably). "Ten to Midnight" manages to do two of these things right.
The one thing this movie truly did well was paint the template for Mary Harrons' version of Patrick Bateman's in "American Psycho". The killer in this film is named Warren Stacy (Gene Davis), an office maintence man who kills women who reject his creepy sexual advances. Gene Davis and Christian Bale look so similar and the mannerisms remind so much of Patrick Bateman's, not only from the movie, but Brett Easton Ellis' novel .
Warren makes sure to have an alibi and kills Betty a co worker who had previously rejected him. Unfortunately for Warren, Betty was the gossipy type and wrote about it his creepy behavior in her journal. Warren tries to recover the journal but ends up killing Betty's roommate( another co-worker) and finding the diary is gone.The cops have the diary which then puts the most douchey version of Charles Bronson I've ever seen on his ass.
Bronson keeps trying to hook his new partner Paul McAnn ( Andrew Stevens) up with his hot but annoying daughter Laurie(Lisa Elbacher). Warren meets Bronson's daughter and becomes obsessed with her. Bronson has that gut feeling Warren is guilty, and after a couple failed attempts to catch him, plants evidence on him to get him for murder. [[ TIME OUT!!!!!!]]
This was one of the biggest problems with this movie. It's already long and boring, but you make you're renegade cop into a dirty corrupt piece of s**t who plants evidence? We're willing to forgive dirty cops in movies if it's taking money or gambling debts,but planting evidence is reserved for bad guys. Dirty Harry never put blood on a guys jacket to put him in jail. He waited til the guy messed up and shot him. This happens half way through the movie, and at this point on there's no one to root for.
[[ TIME IN!!!!]]
After McAnn finds out Bronson planted the evidence; he forces him to come clean. Subsequently Bronson is kicked off the force, and Warren is let free. Instead of leaving things alone, Warren runs it in Bronson's face that he got away; so Bronson stalks him relentlessly and begins to ruin his personal and work life in ways so lame I won't even mention them. Eventually Warren goes to kill Laurie, he ends up killing her three roommates instead. Bronson shows up and a foot chase ensues: Bronson running after Warren running after Laurie. They come to a police standoff where Warren pleads to Bronson that he's sick and has a split personality. As the cops are ready to take Warren away and hes smirking, Bronson shoots him in the head and the credits roll.
Two problems there too. 1. ) Bronson was off the force; why is he at the police standoff 2.) He shot an unarmed man, that's not heroic and itz actually criminal. Shouldnt the movie end with Charles Bronson going to jail???
I'm not sure, but what I am sure of is; this movie is slow, it's long, and there's almost no likeable characters to speak of, and that's a credit to Gene Davis as the villain and a total knock on our supposed hero Charles Bronson. Oh and one more thing
WHY IS THIS MOVIE CALLED TEN TO MIDNIGHT????!!!!!!
(( some spoilers))
When people think of Hackers whether real or fictional we think, Snowden, Mr.Robot, techy computer savants who spend countless hours in front of computer screens sifting through numerical code that would seem like gibberish to the layman. We don't think " highschool" kids ( who look 30), who dress like they're in a madmax film acting extremely flamboyant and depicting hacking as a mish-mash of every popular 80s arcade game with A.I.M trash talk( a.i.m.....Wow I'm old).
You know what though?.......
1 R3@LLY L1K3 TH15 M0V13. :D
Hackers was released in 1995; the era of dial up internet, MtV(when it was edgy), payphones, and floppy disks. It stars Johnny Lee Miller as a genius computer hacker named Dade Murphy A.K.A: Zero Cool, Crash Override ( coolest hacker names ever in this movie). He was caught hacking by the FBI when he was 10 or 11, and banned from using a computer or LAN line phone until his 18th birthday.( First:What? Second: Stupid)
He moves to New York city with his mom and soon falls in with a group of low level hackers at his highschool (yes, there are echelons of hacking according to this movie.) A young and very hot Angelina Jolie is Murphy's love interest and rival hacker named (Acid Burn); they go back and forth with the love hate relationship in this movie, but this is just the subplot of the film.
The main plot involves Overrides lame hacker friend (Joey), who trying to impress his friends accidentally copies a garbage file from a major oil corporation that would expose a couple corrupt executives syphoning money. This is where we get our villian, the best and worst part of this movie. Our main villian is Fisher Stevens (Short Circuit1 and 2 and a litany of television appearances) who's a hacker ,and the C.T.O of the oil company who rides a skateboard everywhere and only lets people call him " The Plague" ( someone actually calls him Mr.The Plague). Our secondary villian is Lorraine Brocca (The Sopranos, Goodfellas) as a ditzy C.E.O who blindly follows everything The Plague suggests. They're an odd mismatched pair and look like Jessie and James of team rocket if James grew a beard.
The Plague plans to blame Dade and his friends for a hack he created to syphon money from the oil company. The movie is pretty much a expose the douchey evil corporate fatcats who oppress our lives and try to blame us for their misdeeds.
The movie is very campy and ridiculous throughout(Especially Matthew Lillard), but it's also fun. Of course the way they show hacking in this movie is nothing like real life, but how awesome would it be if it was. This movie is like if hacker who was a videogame and anime junkie got to direct a movie. It's ultra 90s awesomeness, and you can totally see elements from this film that have inspired the amazing show Mr.Robot. Yes, this movie is dumb but it's too much fun to pass up.
P.s. awesome hacker names in this movie
Phantom Phreak Crash Override
Cereal Killer Acid Burn
Lord Nikon Zero Cool