Da 5 Bloods
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I May Destroy You
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Thought it would be another 'whilst we're at college, lets go to the woods to get murdered' film. I couldnt have been more wrong. Turns the genre on its head whilst being both hilarious and heartwarming. Dale's shy flirting and increasing bafflement about what is happening, are worth 5 stars on their own.
You know that moment when you are just casually chatting and behind you, a freakishly enormous spaceship drops off a humongous robot, but you dont notice until it punches through the roof, because you're too distracted wondering where your new friends get fresh milk and vegetables in the middle of both the desert and the apocalypse? No? Well, McG does.
Still, that's one of the less unlikely things in a film where terminator motorbikes come with controls for humans (just flip the switch from 'kill humans' to 'help humans' ) and terminator fish (sigh) are just metal skeletons, because 'metal' and 'skeleton' are the two words you always associate with efficient fish design.
This was also the movie where Christian Bale decided 'acting' and 'shouting' were synonyms, but still out-acted everyone else.
If you enjoy putting a hammer drill to your head whilst eating popcorn, you'll enjoy this. Otherwise, not so much.
It may just be Aliens with werewolves, but a solid plot, good acting, good script and characterisation and great directing shows you can make a great action/horror film without a massive budget. An 80's classic made in 2002.
In China this film is called 'The unbelievable exploits of the flying car gunmen'.
Well, not really, but it should have been.
What's it about? I don't know-all I remember is explosions, flying cars, and I think someone with a British accent climbs something high at one point. It might be a documentary about what happens if you give Michael Bay a blank cheque.
I'm beginning to wonder if Michael Bay is paid by the explosion.That would explain this film.
Supermodel kicks zombies to whatever death is when you are already a zombie and also shoots monsters in the head. What's not to like? Incidentally, this review also works for any other resident evil film.
Such a shame-genuinely atmospheric and creepy, until with 15 minutes to go the director apparently realised he was out of money and went with the cheapest and most cliched ending possible. Is there a fan out there who can edit this into the film it should have been?
Special forces team act like cheerleaders in a horror film-split up, go into the darkest places they can find, and stop looking for alien monsters in favour of doing drugs. At least they didn't go skinny-dipping. Culminates in a truly laughable Doom FPS style monster-slaying mashup. I swear my IQ dropped 10 points watching this.
At first, nothing happened. Then it happened again. Then it kept happening. After 20 minutes I gave up and repainted the bathroom. I'd been meaning to get round to that, so it gets half a point for motivating me.
Sometimes you just want to turn off your brain and be entertained. When that happens, you can watch this. I've watched it three times-goes nicely with a bottle of Cava.
I don't even know how to describe it-a comedy, action, feelgood buddy movie about possibly criminals, possibly heroes, telling unlikely stories that may not be as unlikely as the truth. Brilliant acting. The only film I've seen that was anything like it is Forrest Gump, not in plot, but in feel. Watch it asap.
Action scenes done well enough in a Keanu-ish way. Honestly though, whilst I'd be peeved if someone killed my dog, it does feel like he over-reacted.
I've created an account just so I can warn everyone off. I suffer from a chronic kidney condition that means I get kidney stones on a regular basis-painful, but nothing compared to watching 'The dead don't die'.
I can't describe the film except to say that if you mashed up all the best zombie films, removed everything that made them good, and replaced it with Bill Murray looking blank and speaking slowly, you would have something one-tenth as bad. Oh, and it has a samurai who is abducted by a flying saucer, for no reason. I would say spoiler alert but I couldnt spoil this film if I ground it up and administered it to you rectally-in fact that would probably be better than watching the film. For that matter, being eaten by zombies would be better than watching the film.
Since watching it, my days are plagued by the memory of its unbelievable dullness and stupidity, and at night I pray for the sweet release of death.