|
|
——
|
Rushlights (2013) |
"
The endless hidden connections and coincidences eventually become ridiculous."
—
Village Voice
Posted Jun 18, 2013
|
|
4.5/5
|
56%
|
Man of Steel (2013) |
"
Henry Cavill gives us something we haven't gotten on film in a while: a SUPERman, with all the awesome power the name implies."
—
Houston Press
Posted Jun 15, 2013
|
|
|
13%
|
The Stroller Strategy (2013) |
"
Personnaz has a nice Gallic Adam Scott thing going, and Thomas's degenerate best friend (check) gets some amusing scenes, but none of lifts The Stroller Strategy out of the well-worn ruts of its genre."
—
Village Voice
Posted Jun 11, 2013
|
|
2/5
|
34%
|
The Internship (2013) |
"
Google made over $3 billion in profit in just the first quarter of this year, and yet they not only expect you to sit through a two-hour commercial, but pay money to do so."
—
Houston Press
Posted Jun 8, 2013
|
|
|
73%
|
The Painting (2013) |
"
With striking visuals reminiscent of Matisse and Chagall and a refreshingly (for domestic animation audiences) grown-up storyline, The Painting is almost reminiscent of, well, a work of art."
—
Village Voice
Posted Jun 7, 2013
|
|
2.5/5
|
62%
|
Epic (2013) |
"
I will now review this movie using the lyrics to the song "Epic" by Faith No More, which I think you'll find are eerily fitting."
—
Houston Press
Posted Jun 1, 2013
|
|
2/5
|
11%
|
After Earth (2013) |
"
How could species evolve over the course of a mere thousand years to get a serious hate on for human beings, when *no humans have been on the planet that entire time*?"
—
Houston Press
Posted Jun 1, 2013
|
|
|
17%
|
A Green Story (2013) |
"
Comes across like the result of a not particularly inspired Mad Lib ..."
—
Village Voice
Posted May 21, 2013
|
|
3.5/5
|
87%
|
Star Trek Into Darkness (2013) |
"
I was comforted to see a warp drive spacecraft could be kickstarted like a 1912 Buick, and we were treated to not one but two desperate uses of the fabled "manual override." "
—
Houston Press
Posted May 19, 2013
|
|
2.5/5
|
50%
|
The Great Gatsby (2013) |
"
If I hear someone say "Old sport" one more time I will run them over with my giant yellow convertible."
—
Houston Press
Posted May 19, 2013
|
|
|
18%
|
1st Night (2013) |
"
It's hard to explain why every character in 1st Night behaves like an adolescent in a sitcom."
—
Village Voice
Posted Apr 30, 2013
|
|
|
67%
|
Desperate Acts Of Magic (2013) |
"
Desperate Acts of Magic is a pleasant little film."
—
Village Voice
Posted Apr 30, 2013
|
|
3/5
|
55%
|
Oblivion (2013) |
"
"The dream is always the same.""
—
Houston Press
Posted Apr 28, 2013
|
|
3/5
|
45%
|
Pain & Gain (2013) |
"
Bay could've paid for Pain & Gain with the spare hundreds he keeps around for cocaine straws."
—
Houston Press
Posted Apr 28, 2013
|
|
3.5/5
|
68%
|
Trance (2013) |
"
Trance isn't the director's best by a long shot, but it's a perfectly serviceable thriller with all Boyle's trademark flourishes."
—
Houston Press
Posted Apr 14, 2013
|
|
|
7%
|
Tomorrow You're Gone (2013) |
"
It's almost as if Jacobson and writer Matthew F. Jones changed their minds at the last minute, leaving us all in the lurch."
—
Village Voice
Posted Apr 3, 2013
|
|
2.5/5
|
28%
|
G.I. Joe: Retaliation (2013) |
"
If you went back to 1984 and told me there would be a serious production about toys called "Destro" and "Ripcord," I'd have asked you when lobotomies became mandatory."
—
Houston Press
Posted Mar 30, 2013
|
|
2/5
|
41%
|
The Call (2013) |
"
Shocking, I know, to think the writer of Thir13en Ghosts and Exit Wounds may not have been up to the task of crafting a fully realized narrative. "
—
Houston Press
Posted Mar 23, 2013
|
|
1/5
|
47%
|
Olympus Has Fallen (2013) |
"
Olympus Has Fallen wants to be "Die Hard in the White House" so much I half-expected Alexander Godunov to pop up at the end."
—
Houston Press
Posted Mar 23, 2013
|
|
|
56%
|
Hunky Dory (2013) |
"
Surprisingly, it's not bad."
—
Village Voice
Posted Mar 19, 2013
|
|
3.5/5
|
59%
|
Oz the Great and Powerful (2013) |
"
Oz the Great and Powerful is perfectly adequate for kids and people who don't believe every trip down cinema's memory lane amounts to sodomy of their childhood."
—
Houston Press
Posted Mar 9, 2013
|
|
|
72%
|
Greedy Lying Bastards (2013) |
"
[It] shines a harsh light on the lengths the energy industry continues to go to in order to head off climate-related legislation-and assure the public there's nothing wrong with continuing to rely on fossil fuels."
—
Village Voice
Posted Mar 5, 2013
|
|
2.5/5
|
57%
|
Snitch (2013) |
"
The scene where Matthews searches for "cartels" on Wikipedia is as (unintentionally) hilarious as Michael Bolton looking up "money laundering" in the dictionary."
—
Houston Press
Posted Mar 2, 2013
|
|
3/5
|
52%
|
Jack the Giant Slayer (2013) |
"
Tomlinson wears a suit of armor well, but as long as we're reimagining the classics, why not give the Princess more to do that run away from home and await rescue?"
—
Houston Press
Posted Mar 2, 2013
|
|
|
46%
|
The Sweeney (2013) |
"
[It] feels a lot like an American-made cop movie circa 1990."
—
Village Voice
Posted Mar 1, 2013
|
|
|
19%
|
Inescapable (2013) |
"
Inescapable isn't a terrible movie, but absent its ripped-from-the-headlines setting it's unremarkable."
—
Village Voice
Posted Feb 19, 2013
|
|
2/5
|
15%
|
A Good Day To Die Hard (2013) |
"
Over the course of 25 years and four ensuing movies, we've gone from mild eye-rolling to goggling incredulity."
—
Houston Press
Posted Feb 16, 2013
|
|
2.5/5
|
46%
|
Beautiful Creatures (2013) |
"
I'd enjoy listening to Emma Thompson even if she was reading me my list of offenses against the Crown while the Royal Buggerer oiled up his Punishment Phallus."
—
Houston Press
Posted Feb 16, 2013
|
|
4/5
|
80%
|
Warm Bodies (2013) |
"
It kind of reminded me of Twilight, if that movie had an engaging cast, intelligent script, coherent story, and didn't make me want to eat a bullet."
—
Houston Press
Posted Feb 3, 2013
|
|
3/5
|
14%
|
Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013) |
"
I counted at least six occasions when Renner could've led with, "This ... is my BOOM STICK.""
—
Houston Press
Posted Jan 27, 2013
|
|
1.5/5
|
30%
|
Broken City (2013) |
"
At no point during the film was there a shred of doubt in my mind about where things would end up."
—
Houston Press
Posted Jan 19, 2013
|
|
3/5
|
60%
|
The Last Stand (2013) |
"
But you can't let yourself get hung up on, you know, *logic* and *facts* and *police procedures* and *why a guy named "Owens" is speaking in a guttural Austrian accent*"
—
Houston Press
Posted Jan 19, 2013
|
|
4.5/5
|
93%
|
Zero Dark Thirty (2013) |
"
"We always get our man, eventually.""
—
Houston Press
Posted Jan 12, 2013
|
|
2.5/5
|
69%
|
Not Fade Away (2012) |
"
I don't mean to belittle the memory of an entire decade, except when I do."
—
Houston Press
Posted Jan 5, 2013
|
|
|
19%
|
Texas Chainsaw (2013) |
"
Try as [Luessenhop] might to honor the original -- flashbulb transitions, a skeevy (yet buff) hitchhiker, metal doors, and meat hooks -- there's little of its mounting dread."
—
Village Voice
Posted Jan 5, 2013
|
|
2/5
|
52%
|
This is 40 (2012) |
"
"Hey, remember that annoying couple in that Judd Apatow movie about the loser who got the hot chick pregnant? No? Well, we made a movie about them anyway.""
—
Houston Press
Posted Dec 28, 2012
|
|
3.5/5
|
61%
|
Jack Reacher (2012) |
"
I know I'm not the only one who appreciates a lack of ambiguity when watching a dude get his testicles crushed."
—
Houston Press
Posted Dec 28, 2012
|
|
4/5
|
69%
|
Les Misérables (2012) |
"
The songs you expect Javert to knock out of the park end up - at best - bloop singles with Crowe's limited range."
—
Houston Press
Posted Dec 28, 2012
|
|
2.5/5
|
65%
|
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012) |
"
I prefer my movies to be more entertainment than ordeal."
—
Houston Press
Posted Dec 15, 2012
|
|
|
43%
|
Waiting For Lightning (2012) |
"
Pretty boilerplate doc material."
—
Village Voice
Posted Dec 4, 2012
|
|
|
50%
|
In Our Nature (2012) |
"
During their "getting to know you" scene, Seth asks Vicky, "Is everybody that predictable?" As far as In Our Nature goes, it would seem so."
—
Village Voice
Posted Dec 4, 2012
|
|
4/5
|
75%
|
Killing Them Softly (2012) |
"
So this is our fate, it seems: the endless bureaucratization of every aspect of life, even down to the illegal."
—
Houston Press
Posted Dec 1, 2012
|
|
1.5/5
|
13%
|
Red Dawn (2012) |
"
"When they came for the grunge enthusiasts, I said nothing...""
—
Houston Press
Posted Nov 21, 2012
|
|
2.5/5
|
48%
|
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 (2012) |
"
If you removed the endless soulful gazes, this whole series could've been delivered as a two-night SyFy Channel exclusive and wrapped up before the next airing of Sharktopus."
—
Houston Press
Posted Nov 17, 2012
|
|
3/5
|
92%
|
Skyfall (2012) |
"
I wanted to like Skyfall more than I did, which is funny because after the opening sequence, I felt sure I would love it."
—
Houston Press
Posted Nov 11, 2012
|
|
3.5/5
|
89%
|
Lincoln (2012) |
"
I honestly don't know how audiences are going to respond to what is essentially 2.5 hours of speechifying bookended by brief scenes of wartime atrocity."
—
Houston Press
Posted Nov 11, 2012
|
|
2/5
|
78%
|
Flight (2012) |
"
Alcoholism remains a serious problem, but it's hard to take seriously when Zemeckis and Gatis have drenched their story in such rank sentimentalism."
—
Houston Press
Posted Nov 3, 2012
|
|
3.5/5
|
67%
|
Cloud Atlas (2012) |
"
This won't come across as a knock to some, but there are times when Cloud Atlas feels like a sci-fi Love, Actually."
—
Houston Press
Posted Oct 28, 2012
|
|
4.5/5
|
96%
|
Argo (2012) |
"
Anyone who thinks the cheesiness of the proposed Argo's plot and shameless aping of A New Hope is far-fetched has obviously never seen Battle Beyond the Stars."
—
Houston Press
Posted Oct 14, 2012
|
74%
81%
62%
52%
26%
4%
