Witney Seibold

Witney Seibold

Agrees with the Tomatometer 75% of the time.

Publications:
CraveOnline , Nerdist
Total Reviews:
143

Listing Of All Reviews & Articles

Showing 1 - 50 of 143
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Rating T-Meter Title | Year Add Date
3.5/5 87% Only Lovers Left Alive (2014) " This movie is 130 minutes of awesome, cool-as-a-bloodsicle eye candy. If you like music, this film has the esoteric expertise of a proper rock historian. In short, Only Lovers Left Alive is damn cool." — Nerdist
Posted Apr 16, 2014
4/5 55% Cuban Fury (2014) " For a film that seems to stem from a single joke - i.e. "a fat guy dances salsa??" - Cuban Fury proves to be bright, brisk, and golden. " — Nerdist
Posted Apr 16, 2014
4.5/5 63% Draft Day (2014) " The miracle of Ivan Reitman's Draft Day is that it takes something completely esoteric about the universe of organized football... and turns it into one of the more compelling, funny films I have seen in a long while." — Nerdist
Posted Apr 11, 2014
4/5 72% Oculus (2014) " Oculus is one of the damn scariest movies in years." — Nerdist
Posted Apr 11, 2014
1.5/5 48% Rio 2 (2014) " The animation is fine, but Rio 2 is bland, not very funny, and even poorly plotted." — Nerdist
Posted Apr 10, 2014
3/5 29% Alien Abduction (2014) " Although the found-footage genre is growing increasingly stale, it can still provide some genuine - if cheap - thrills. Also, Alien Abduction hits this critic right in the nostalgia gland." — Nerdist
Posted Apr 5, 2014
4/5 61% Nymphomaniac: Volume II (2014) " Lars Von Trier made one of the best films of the year, and perhaps one of the best films of his career... and then betrayed us all with a cheap, gimmicky ending." — Nerdist
Posted Apr 5, 2014
2/5 57% Dom Hemingway (2014) " Seeing Jude Law spread his actorly wings to create a lovable antihero is fun and endlessly watchable. The film around him, however, never coheres. " — Nerdist
Posted Apr 5, 2014
4.5/5 85% Under the Skin (2014) " Under the Skin, even through its more uneventful segments, is still a ripping and compelling intellectual provocation. " — Nerdist
Posted Apr 4, 2014
3.5/5 89% Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014) " The ninth film in the ever-growing Avengers series has a slightly problematic plot, and it provides more comfort than true thrills, but is most certainly a serviceable entertainment." — Nerdist
Posted Apr 4, 2014
1.5/5 84% Cheap Thrills (2014) " This is a film that is more defined by its mayhem tally than by its story." — Nerdist
Posted Apr 3, 2014
2.5/5 41% Cesar Chavez (2014) " This historical biography about the important 1960s labor organizer so actively skews away from Hollywood theatrics that it begins to feel downright quaint." — Nerdist
Posted Mar 30, 2014
2.5/5 22% Sabotage (2014) " Director David Ayer is proving to be increasingly adept at character work, but the plot of Sabotage is too dumb and opaque to recommend the film." — Nerdist
Posted Mar 30, 2014
4.5/5 77% Noah (2014) " Ambitious, daring, and visually awesome (in the old sense of the word), Noah is an amazing and off-the-wall experience that I can't not recommend." — Nerdist
Posted Mar 28, 2014
3/5 80% The Raid 2 (2014) " The super-bloody and brutal violence is extensive, glorious, and exhilarating. Sadly, its length and complex story drag the movie down." — Nerdist
Posted Mar 26, 2014
4/5 47% Blood Ties (2014) " Blood Ties, a long-reaching crime epic, possesses all the earmarks of a mellowed-out Scorsese, complete with its bracing, grimy aesthetic, slowed down pace, gentle meting of information, and occasional explosions of extreme violence." — Nerdist
Posted Mar 22, 2014
1.5/5 40% Divergent (2014) " At 139 minutes, the final explosion of story and incident feels like extra bloat in a film that is too much explanation and not enough understanding." — Nerdist
Posted Mar 21, 2014
4.5/5 77% Nymphomaniac: Volume I (2014) " The ambition of such a project is amazing to behold, and I feel that Von Trier - by allowing himself to be this unfettered - has finally found his aesthetic niche." — Nerdist
Posted Mar 20, 2014
3.5/5 79% Muppets Most Wanted (2014) " You will most certainly laugh, and the film is fun and high-energy, but this is lesser Muppets." — Nerdist
Posted Mar 20, 2014
3.5/5 63% Bad Words (2014) " Bad Words, despite its vague lack of edge, is still strangely disarming." — Nerdist
Posted Mar 17, 2014
2.5/5 12% The Right Kind of Wrong (2014) " As the film progresses, and it becomes more and more heavily focused on the inevitable romantic linking of the male and female leads (including some late-film plot machinations that could have been left out), it loses steam and starts to feel perfunctory." — Nerdist
Posted Mar 17, 2014
2/5 10% Dark House (2014) " This is a film that skips all the foreboding, and gives us scene after scene of just boding." — Nerdist
Posted Mar 14, 2014
4/5 92% The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014) " Whereas many of Anderson's early films felt a little rough around the edges, The Grand Budapest Hotel - with its shifting aspect ratios, creamy photography, and oh-so-careful 90-degree camera swivels - feels impeccable" — Nerdist
Posted Mar 14, 2014
3/5 23% Need For Speed (2014) " I can say with confidence that Scott Waugh's Need for Speed is perhaps the best live-action video game movie made to date. It's still not very good. " — Nerdist
Posted Mar 14, 2014
3.5/5 92% Journey To The West (2014) " Journey to the West is an episodic picaresque epic, moving from set piece to set piece without the traditional Western screenplay-101 contrivances, allowing for a more casual, freewheeling, adventurous tone. " — Nerdist
Posted Mar 14, 2014
3/5 77% Veronica Mars (2014) " Not so much a feature film as an extended network-ready TV special (some cuss words notwithstanding), Rob Thomas' Veronica Mars... can't seem to lift itself from its own low budget, low-concept doldrums." — Nerdist
Posted Mar 14, 2014
4/5 81% Grand Piano (2014) " While Grand Piano is not as good as Hitchcock's oeuvre [as some critics have said], it can at least be compared to some of the better suspense films of Brian De Palma. And that's nothing to sneeze at." — Nerdist
Posted Mar 7, 2014
4/5 78% Mr. Peabody & Sherman (2014) " Although possessed of several frantic, breathless action-based sequences, the film seems to possess the same appealing nerdy effeteness of the goofy TV shorts, comedically riffing on ancient history the same way lesser animated films riff on pop culture." — Nerdist
Posted Mar 6, 2014
4.5/5 98% Jodorowsky's Dune (2014) " This is a film that is largely about Jodorowsky himself... but also about the way sci-fi movies have grown, changed, and mutated over the years." — Nerdist
Posted Mar 6, 2014
2/5 24% Pompeii (2014) " If you're a fan of Roman history, Pompeii is yet another film that will likely make you want to throw you copies of Gibbon at the screen. If you're an average film-goer, then, frankly, you can do better." — Nerdist
Posted Mar 4, 2014
2.5/5 10% The Bag Man (2014) " I've seen a lot of low-budget crime movies in my day, and while The Bag Man does not necessarily transcend the genre, it at least has just enough artistic ambition to be interesting." — Nerdist
Posted Feb 28, 2014
3.5/5 60% Non-Stop (2014) " Non-Stop is matinee junk food, but it's some of the best we've had in months." — Nerdist
Posted Feb 28, 2014
4/5 63% Generation War (2014) " This is a new subject in the ongoing cinematic conversation America has been having with the War." — Nerdist
Posted Feb 26, 2014
3/5 33% 3 Days To Kill (2014) " ...As an entertainment, it's a frantic, eager trifle, so pleased to be funny and so happy to kick ass, that you might find yourself caught up in the sloppy energy of it all." — Nerdist
Posted Feb 21, 2014
2/5 45% In Secret (2014) " Indeed, the darknesses pile up on one another with such an alarming rate (Murders! Strokes! Secrets!), the tone of the entire film shifts from one of illicit sexual naughtiness to downright death-obsessed Gothic melodrama." — Nerdist
Posted Feb 20, 2014
4.5/5 88% The Wind Rises (2014) " The Wind Rises becomes a near-Edenic look at the world, full of casual heroism, and a long, long string of romantic and emotional triumphs." — Nerdist
Posted Feb 20, 2014
2.5/5 48% RoboCop (2014) " Remember how you forgot about the Total Recall remake?" — Nerdist
Posted Feb 12, 2014
3/5 33% The Monuments Men (2014) " The Monuments Men is less Schindler's List and more Kelly's Heroes." — Nerdist
Posted Feb 9, 2014
3.5/5 10% Vampire Academy (2014) " I'm happy to report that Vampire Academy is actually a pretty fun little flick that shoots for flip and actually lands there." — Nerdist
Posted Feb 9, 2014
4/5 96% The Lego Movie (2014) " It's fresh, enjoyable, and seems to celebrate the joyous chaos of childhood play over the blind consumption of product." — Nerdist
Posted Feb 6, 2014
0.5/5 33% Labor Day (2014) " Labor Day is somehow simultaneously both a bland thudding mess of non-happenstance and an over-the-top soap opera fusillade of difficult-to-endure emotional cheap shots. " — Nerdist
Posted Feb 6, 2014
1.5/5 22% That Awkward Moment (2014) " Learning to grow out of your over-confident, sexually destructive, ignorant, sexist, loutish period may have made for a worthwhile story, but That Awkward Moment spends the bulk of its time with horrible young men you don't want to spent time with." — Nerdist
Posted Feb 6, 2014
4% I, Frankenstein (2014) " I, Frankenstein may be destined to become a late-night camp-fest in dorm rooms across the country. It will not, however, ever be defended as good." — Nerdist
Posted Jan 31, 2014
3.5/10 23% Gimme Shelter (2014) " Gimme Shelter plays like a particularly slick and somewhat natural version of a plainly average PAX TV after-school special about teen pregnancy." — CraveOnline
Posted Jan 24, 2014
6.5/10 18% Devil's Due (2014) " Devil's Due, while another predictable retread, is - I am pleased to report - actually effective as a cheap drive-in style boo-gotcha thrill ride." — CraveOnline
Posted Jan 17, 2014
2.5/10 11% The Nut Job (2014) " A cacophony of screaming unfunny characters, sloppy plotting, and uninspired animation." — CraveOnline
Posted Jan 15, 2014
3.5/10 30% Grudge Match (2013) " Chewing gum for the eyeballs. It'll be sweet for a few moments, and then lose all flavor, only to be spat out and forgotten a few hours later." — CraveOnline
Posted Dec 24, 2013
5/10 13% 47 Ronin (2013) " 47 Ronin feels less like a new opportunity to explore a Japanese national epic using modern tools, and more like 'Nondescript Fantasy Film #253.'" — CraveOnline
Posted Dec 23, 2013
6.5/10 83% The Unknown Known (2014) " Perhaps that Morris was unable to stay wholly objective only speaks to the power of Rumsfeld's verbal manipulation." — CraveOnline
Posted Dec 12, 2013
6/10 57% Some Velvet Morning (2013) " Too much method, not enough madness. " — CraveOnline
Posted Dec 12, 2013
Showing 1 - 50 of 143
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