Witney Seibold

Witney Seibold

Agrees with the Tomatometer 76% of the time.

Witney Seibold's reviews (from any publication) always count toward the Tomatometer because this critic is a Tomatometer-approved critic.

Listing Of All Reviews & Articles

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Showing 1 - 50 of 219
Rating T-Meter Title | Year Review
26% Terminator Genisys (2015) "It feels less like a taut feature film, and more like the series finale of a long-running TV show. It's all reference and parody and fan service. " ‐ Legion of Leia
Posted Jul 2, 2015
71% Jurassic World (2015) "We have no interesting heroes to root for, no real theme, and a dumb premise. Oddly, the characters we're meant to feel the most sympathy for are the dinosaurs themselves. " ‐ Legion of Leia
Posted Jun 12, 2015
50% Tomorrowland (2015) "Beyond its visuals, Tomorrowland has a rather upsetting worldview that seems jumbled at best and strangely fascistic at worst. " ‐ Legion of Leia
Posted May 20, 2015
98% Mad Max: Fury Road (2015) "A hyper-accelerated rush of towering, weird-ass oil-fisted heavy metal explosiveness. " ‐ Legion of Leia
Posted May 15, 2015
27% Exodus: Gods and Kings (2014) "It is devoid of any sort of compelling emotional background or natural storytelling acumen. This last detail is especially damning, as this is one of the best-known tales in the Western World. " ‐ Legion of Leia
Posted Apr 23, 2015
71% Into the Woods (2014) "Marshall seems to have missed the point entirely, giving us one of the most straightforward, blandest interpretations of a satire imaginable. " ‐ Legion of Leia
Posted Apr 23, 2015
72% Big Eyes (2014) "Big Eyes is the most substantial film Tim Burton has made since Ed Wood. " ‐ Legion of Leia
Posted Apr 23, 2015
25% Fifty Shades of Grey (2015) "It's pretend bondage. Caffeine-free Diet BDSM. " ‐ Legion of Leia
Posted Apr 23, 2015
30% Insurgent (2015) "Robert Schwentke's Insurgent is a massively stupid movie. " ‐ Legion of Leia
Posted Apr 23, 2015
85% Cinderella (2015) "The problems with the story are still present - this is most certainly not a feminist polemic - but one can't help but be caught up in Branagh's theatrical spirit. " ‐ Legion of Leia
Posted Apr 23, 2015
5/10 29% Get Hard (2015) "'Get Hard's' affability barely outweighs its offensive stereotypes. " ‐ CraveOnline
Posted Mar 27, 2015
95% An American in Paris (1951) "It's hard not to be charmed by Gene Kelly's featherweight smiles and amazing dancing. But the film as a whole is -- and let no one contradict me on this -- a complete trifle. " ‐ Nerdist
Posted Feb 22, 2015
100% Rebecca (1940) "There are so many rich interpersonal relationships. This is not a romance or a history, but a bout of delicious Gothic psychoanalysis. " ‐ Nerdist
Posted Feb 22, 2015
94% Gone With the Wind (1939) "I love Scarlett O'Hara. She's so full of life and energy, it's hard not to be swept up in her personality. " ‐ Nerdist
Posted Feb 22, 2015
98% The Best Years of Our Lives (1946) "The Best Years of Our Lives is one of the most timely and immediate Best Picture winners in Academy history, beating even Mrs. Miniver in terms of topicality. " ‐ Nerdist
Posted Feb 22, 2015
100% All About Eve (1950) "Joseph L. Mankiewicz' All About Eve is a rich, impeccably written, gunshot sharp black comedy about an aging actress, the go-getter who seeks to supplant her, and the heaping pile of carefully fostered artisanal bitchiness that they construct. " ‐ Nerdist
Posted Feb 22, 2015
97% Casablanca (1942) "Frankly, it's earned its reputation. " ‐ Nerdist
Posted Feb 22, 2015
97% All the King's Men (1949) "Its political commentary is certainly blunt, but it's also a dynamic character drama full of excellent acting. " ‐ Nerdist
Posted Feb 20, 2015
94% Mutiny on the Bounty (1935) "This is a ripping yarn, an old-timey sea adventure. " ‐ Nerdist
Posted Feb 20, 2015
78% Going My Way (1944) "It makes you feel happy. And that's not nothing. " ‐ Nerdist
Posted Feb 18, 2015
78% Gentleman's Agreement (1947) "Can Gentleman's Agreement be a salient, good movie, and still be entirely too corny? Maybe it's just because I'm looking back at it from the modern day, but Gentleman's Agreement plays hokey and preachy a lot of the time. " ‐ Nerdist
Posted Feb 18, 2015
65% The Great Ziegfeld (1936) "Since it's so fun to look at, you will not be bored for a second, constantly wowed by the enormity of it all. " ‐ Nerdist
Posted Feb 18, 2015
74% The Life of Emile Zola (1937) "As a courtroom drama, and as a depiction of government corruption, this film is pretty first rate. " ‐ Nerdist
Posted Feb 18, 2015
94% You Can't Take It With You (1938) "Please see this one. Heck, see any Frank Capra movie. " ‐ Nerdist
Posted Feb 18, 2015
4/10 12% Mortdecai (2015) "Mortdecai is content to stroll casually and unassuredly through its paces, taking long, long intermissions for Depp to whimper and giggle. " ‐ CraveOnline
Posted Jan 23, 2015
2/5 47% The Judge (2014) "The Judge is... a gooey experience, lousy with clich├ęs and rife with awkward family-togetherness moments that look genuine on the paper, but ring false. " ‐ Movies.com
Posted Oct 19, 2014
4/5 88% Gone Girl (2014) "A rather excellent potboiler full of dark revelations and unexpected twists. And, wow, those twists leave one gobsmacked. " ‐ Movies.com
Posted Oct 6, 2014
1.5/5 29% Annabelle (2014) "Dull-witted, stiff, and predictable. " ‐ Movies.com
Posted Oct 6, 2014
41% This Is Where I Leave You (2014) "Occasionally, Hollywood will step forward with a family drama that actually manages to tinker with actual pain... "This Is Where I Leave You" has no edge, no darkness, no texture, no character to speak of. " ‐ TheWrap
Posted Oct 1, 2014
4.5/10 18% When The Game Stands Tall (2014) "Despite having a unique message, When the Game Stands Tall is pretty boring stuff. " ‐ CraveOnline
Posted Aug 22, 2014
3.5/5 93% Bound By Flesh (2014) "If you've ever had any interest in early American entertainment, the world of freak shows, or in the Hilton Sisters in particular, this is exactly the film you need. " ‐ Nerdist
Posted Jun 29, 2014
3/5 83% Begin Again (2014) "Born Again's most glaring weakness, however, comes from the mere fact that this has already been done, better, by the same filmmaker. It's nice to see him exploring similar material, but if you've seen Once, you've already seen the superior film. " ‐ Nerdist
Posted Jun 29, 2014
2/5 18% Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014) "Michael Bay's latest exercise in excess is the biggest, longest, loudest, explodiest film ever made. " ‐ Nerdist
Posted Jun 29, 2014
2.5/5 23% Think Like a Man Too (2014) "As it stands, the flick is too good-natured and too clean to offer audiences anything more than a mild afternoon distraction. " ‐ Nerdist
Posted Jun 23, 2014
3.5/5 76% The Last Sentence (2014) "Ultimately, The Last Sentence, despite the great performances and awesome visuals, gets too preoccupied with its own interpersonal drama and soap opera dynamics, eventually forgetting to address some of the bigger moral implications it hints at. " ‐ Nerdist
Posted Jun 21, 2014
3/5 52% Jersey Boys (2014) "Jersey Boys brushes off the glitter of the typical musical and gives us a calming and languid experience that never soars, but gently entertains nonetheless. " ‐ Nerdist
Posted Jun 20, 2014
86% Borgman (2014) "Borgman is one of the oddest, most unsettling, most boldly and strikingly bizarre films I have seen in a long while. " ‐ Nerdist
Posted Jun 20, 2014
4/5 47% All Cheerleaders Die (2014) "Within the first hour All Cheerleaders Die cycles from indie romance, to feminist polemic, to genuine horror, to horror satire, to titillating B-picture. But somehow, this film coheres. " ‐ Nerdist
Posted Jun 19, 2014
4/5 85% 22 Jump Street (2014) "It's lightweight instead of high-concept. Silly instead of crass. It's the funniest spoof movie I've seen in a while. " ‐ Nerdist
Posted Jun 19, 2014
4/5 92% How to Train Your Dragon 2 (2014) "How to Train Your Dragon 2 is the most solid, light, and enjoyable fantasy film of the summer. " ‐ Nerdist
Posted Jun 19, 2014
58% The Signal (2014) "Ambitious enough to be interesting, The Signal is an original genre exercise that doesn't always work, but is certainly worth a look. " ‐ Nerdist
Posted Jun 12, 2014
2.5/5 81% The Fault In Our Stars (2014) "It's not that The Fault in Our Stars does anything particularly grievous, it just does too much of what it has. " ‐ Nerdist
Posted Jun 7, 2014
3.5/5 62% Filth (2014) "Based on a novel by Irvine Welsh, Jon S. Baird's Filth is delightfully anarchic, forthright in its crassness, and, despite a general lack of thrust, exhilarating to watch. " ‐ Nerdist
Posted Jun 4, 2014
3/5 54% Trust Me (2014) "If Trust Me is any indicator, Gregg is a talented budget director of surprisingly downbeat, tonally staid, wholly effective tragedies. " ‐ Nerdist
Posted Jun 4, 2014
5/5 97% We Are the Best! (2014) "Warm, joyous, and excellent, Lukas Moodysson's We Are the Best! is an honest and refreshing celebration of young girls' friendship, with a few playful punk punches thrown in. " ‐ Nerdist
Posted May 30, 2014
2/5 49% Maleficent (2014) "For all its ambitions and striking visuals, Maleficent is a dreamlike miasma of bad ideas. " ‐ Nerdist
Posted May 29, 2014
3/5 33% A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014) "Seth MacFarlane scales back on some of the crassness and plays up the charm in his latest feature film. The result is fitfully funny, a bit trifling, and paradoxically inoffensive. " ‐ Nerdist
Posted May 28, 2014
5/5 94% The Dance of Reality (2014) "It is playful and expansive. This film is awesome in the old sense of the word. It is one of the best films of the year. " ‐ Nerdist
Posted May 26, 2014
1/5 52% Lucky Bastard (2014) "The NC-17-rated Lucky Bastard uses the found footage gimmick to surprisingly strong effect, and it give a refreshingly frank view of the porn industry, but eventually steeps into moralizing and tut-tutting that left a very sour taste in my mouth. " ‐ Nerdist
Posted May 23, 2014
3.5/5 10% The Angriest Man in Brooklyn (2014) "Phil Alden Robinson's film starts as a caustic comedy, and becomes a teary, life-affirming, and sentimental journey of a dying dad. " ‐ Nerdist
Posted May 23, 2014
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