Witney Seibold

Witney Seibold

Agrees with the Tomatometer 72% of the time.

Publications:
CraveOnline
Total Reviews:
82

Listing Of All Reviews & Articles

Showing 1 - 50 of 82
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Rating T-Meter Title | Year Add Date
3/10 8% Runner Runner (2013) " Exactly the kind of movie that should be lost in the cracks." — CraveOnline
Posted Oct 3, 2013
8/10 98% Gravity (2013) " Gravity... may actually be that rarest of beasts: An actual game-changer. " — CraveOnline
Posted Oct 3, 2013
6.5/10 89% After Tiller (2013) " After Tiller gives a human and compassionate face to a complex and touchy issue." — CraveOnline
Posted Oct 3, 2013
3.5/10 5% Battle of the Year (2013) " Battle of the Year is no Step Up 3D. But then, what is?" — CraveOnline
Posted Sep 27, 2013
4.5/10 16% Baggage Claim (2013) " Because of all the gee-whiz glitter in your eyes, it's hard - for extended periods - not to be charmed by this largely stupid and personality-free little confection. " — CraveOnline
Posted Sep 27, 2013
4.5/10 11% Oconomowoc (2013) " Warning: The word "quirky" is going to be used a lot in my review of 'Oconomowoc.'" — CraveOnline
Posted Sep 13, 2013
3/10 31% Twixt (2013) " 'Twixt' is not unwatchable, but it comes close." — CraveOnline
Posted Sep 13, 2013
8/10 38% Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters (2013) " These are broad pulp action scenarios that feel sweet, well-worn, and kind of timeless." — CraveOnline
Posted Sep 13, 2013
6/10 64% One Direction: This Is Us (2013) " Young girls love vaguely sexualized young men who gather in groups of five and sing songs about making out." — CraveOnline
Posted Aug 30, 2013
3.5/10 46% Closed Circuit (2013) " If you're going to do pulp, do pulp. Don't dress it up in something serious." — CraveOnline
Posted Aug 30, 2013
5.5/10 75% You're Next (2013) " You're Next aims for the middle and lands there. " — CraveOnline
Posted Aug 23, 2013
3/10 26% Jobs (2013) " Jobs blows." — CraveOnline
Posted Aug 16, 2013
5/10 47% We're The Millers (2013) " A bland and expected comedy wearing the skin of something dark and naughty." — CraveOnline
Posted Aug 6, 2013
6.5/10 69% The Wolverine (2013) " The Wolverine is a mildly bonkers affair that occasionally reaches for a gritty yakuza drama, but clearly aches in every scene to collapse into a gleeful, giddy pile of ninjas, psychics, snake women, and multiple stabbings." — CraveOnline
Posted Jul 24, 2013
5.5/10 42% Red 2 (2013) " On a hot summer afternoon, RED 2 fits the bill the same way a small glass of cool pink lemonade does." — CraveOnline
Posted Jul 19, 2013
6.5/10 65% The Heat (2013) " It's no classic, but it has the most important thing that a comedy needs: laughs." — CraveOnline
Posted Jun 27, 2013
6/10 47% I'm So Excited! (2013) " A tossing off of the frock, and a sprint through fields of naked bodies, Valencia cocktails, and public sexual activity." — CraveOnline
Posted Jun 27, 2013
7/10 78% Europa Report (2013) " It doesn't feel like a huge event(the scientific accuracy leaves the film feeling a bit dry and procedural)... but the heft and thrills are just enough to recommend it." — CraveOnline
Posted Jun 27, 2013
5.5/10 67% World War Z (2013) " Thrilling special effects and a global scale almost make up for World War Z's perfunctory zombie movie cliches." — CraveOnline
Posted Jun 19, 2013
4/10 56% Man of Steel (2013) " Whatever." — CraveOnline
Posted Jun 10, 2013
5.5/10 84% Much Ado About Nothing (2013) " These kids know the words, but not the music. " — CraveOnline
Posted Jun 7, 2013
8/10 98% Mud (2013) " It's rare that films manage to capture the actual experience of what it is like to be a child, but 'Mud' seems to nail the ethos. " — CraveOnline
Posted Apr 27, 2013
5.5/10 49% Pain & Gain (2013) " For the first time in a hugely successful career, he showed a sliver of something more sophisticated, and for that, I applaud the man for the first time." — CraveOnline
Posted Apr 26, 2013
6.5/10 54% Oblivion (2013) " 'Oblivion' is atmospheric and good-looking and nigh thrilling enough." — CraveOnline
Posted Apr 17, 2013
9/10 44% To The Wonder (2013) " Even a supposedly "lesser" Terrence Malick film like "To the Wonder" touches on some large and ultimately hopeful themes, despite its overall opaqueness." — CraveOnline
Posted Apr 11, 2013
8/10 82% The Place Beyond The Pines (2013) " An immensely thoughtful and well-constructed evolutionary analysis of the origins of crime, and how it subtly perpetuates throughout generations." — CraveOnline
Posted Mar 28, 2013
8.5/10 66% Spring Breakers (2013) " ...Harmony Korine's Spring Breakers will leave you simultaneously cold, afraid, aroused, filthy, bemused, and wholly unsettled, bleeding and masturbating, half-conscious, at the bottom of a pit full of Bud Light and marijuana residue." — CraveOnline
Posted Mar 22, 2013
6.5/10 44% The Call (2013) " Even when 'The Call' takes a hard left turn into implausible stupidity, it's still kinda fun." — CraveOnline
Posted Mar 15, 2013
7/10 28% Upside Down (2013) " 'Upside Down,' in terms of its visuals, is gorgeous and clever and creative." — CraveOnline
Posted Mar 14, 2013
6/10 36% The Incredible Burt Wonderstone (2013) " Sweet and good-natured and periodically chuckle-worthy." — CraveOnline
Posted Mar 14, 2013
5.5/10 46% The Sweeney (2013) " The film is just stylized enough to register as above average, but on the whole it's pretty forgettable - the kind of film you describe with a noncommittal "interesting," while walking out of the theater. " — CraveOnline
Posted Mar 2, 2013
2/10 —— A Talking Cat!?! () " It's not quite crazy or energetic enough to be a proper Bad Movie Night kind of movie... indeed the film is pretty effing boring." — CraveOnline
Posted Feb 20, 2013
6.5/10 84% Side Effects (2013) " Most certainly not a trumpet blast of the Steven Soderbergh's energies... but it's a pretty good thriller from an interesting director." — CraveOnline
Posted Feb 7, 2013
5/10 4% Movie 43 (2013) " If testicles and poop... are enough for you, maybe "Movie 43" will be your cup of (*ulp*) tea." — CraveOnline
Posted Jan 25, 2013
7.5/10 66% Mama (2013) " Fun ghost story, awesome monster, and Jessica Chastain dressed as Joan Jett. What more could you want? " — CraveOnline
Posted Jan 18, 2013
6.5/10 98% The Loved Ones (2012) " I kinda dug the flick." — CraveOnline
Posted Jan 8, 2013
9.5/10 91% Holy Motors (2012) " Weird, baffling, and the lunatic work of a powerfully ambitious filmmaker, 'Holy Motors' is one of the best films of the year. " — CraveOnline
Posted Nov 16, 2012
8.5/10 49% The Man With the Iron Fists (2012) " It occupies a middle ground between the '70s-obsessed eye of Tarantino, and the bold magical silliness of 'Big Trouble in Little China'" — CraveOnline
Posted Nov 1, 2012
7/10 —— Werewolf: The Beast Among Us (Unrated) (2012) " Resemble[s] a second-tier badass action flick from the mid-1980s." — CraveOnline
Posted Oct 24, 2012
8.5/10 96% Argo (2012) " Its politics are subtle, its performances are good, and its script is amazing." — CraveOnline
Posted Oct 24, 2012
7.5/10 24% Paranormal Activity 4 (2012) " A sweet scary little night at the movies. " — CraveOnline
Posted Oct 24, 2012
3.5/10 51% Trouble with the Curve (2012) " To call this film corny would be an insult to corn." — CraveOnline
Posted Sep 21, 2012
8/10 85% End of Watch (2012) " End of Watch was a surprise. I liked it a lot. " — CraveOnline
Posted Sep 21, 2012
6.5/10 48% The Tall Man (2012) " A spooky and atmospheric little thriller that contains some actual and unexpected surprises." — CraveOnline
Posted Sep 1, 2012
7.5/10 78% The Ambassador (2012) " Full of incredulous guffaws at the open and expected corruption in this part of the world. But don't expect to be tickled. This film is making a point." — CraveOnline
Posted Sep 1, 2012
7/10 58% Red State (2011) " It's an often-funny, sometimes precious, but always kind-of-scary little flick worth a note. If this was Smith's first film, he would be touted as a new talent to watch out for." — CraveOnline
Posted Aug 25, 2012
8/10 85% The Ides of March (2011) " The entire first two thirds of the film have the calm idiosyncratic qualities of a mellowed-out Mamet." — CraveOnline
Posted Aug 25, 2012
8.5/10 64% Young Goethe In Love (2011) " It's just as gorgeously shot, just as clever, just as frothy and dynamic as the period pieces of 15-20 years ago." — CraveOnline
Posted Aug 25, 2012
4/10 —— Pete Smalls is Dead (2011) " "Pete Smalls is Dead" nearly kills itself with an overdose of cutesy mainlined hipsterism." — CraveOnline
Posted Aug 25, 2012
Showing 1 - 50 of 82
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