Battleship (2012)

All Critics (207) | Top Critics (39) | Fresh (73) | Rotten (138) | DVD (4)

Once the special effects take over, Berg has little room to assert his personality (or tell a story, for that matter), and the movie feels like a chore.

May 24, 2012 Full Review | Comments (17)

Ben Sachs

Chicago Reader

Top Critic

Battleship is substantially less awful than it could have been. And for me, that may have been the biggest disappointment of all.

May 18, 2012 Full Review | Comments (11)

Christopher Orr

The Atlantic

Top Critic

If the movie is anything like the game, I say stay at home and read a good book (or graphic novel). Or listen to an audiobook - In short, do anything else.

May 18, 2012 Full Review | Comments (9)

Peter Rainer

Christian Science Monitor

Top Critic

Big loud stupid dopey shameless cliched overbearing and did I mention stupid?

May 18, 2012 Full Review | Comments (55)

Richard Roeper

Richard Roeper.com

Top Critic

One can be sure that heroic characters get what they want, bond with enemies, and earn respect.

May 18, 2012 Full Review | Comments (2)

Adam Litovitz

Globe and Mail

Top Critic

"Battleship" doesn't sink, really. It just sits there booming endlessly as you look on aghast.

May 18, 2012 Full Review | Comments (27)

Tom Long

Detroit News

Top Critic

An assault on reason, logic and complex characterisation, but in an enjoyable way, like a slightly less camp dramatisation of the Village People's finest ship-based sing-song.

March 4, 2013 Full Review

Catherine Bray

Film4

Just like the board game, assuming the board game cost $200 million and was dumb.

March 4, 2013 Full Review

Tom Glasson

Concrete Playground

We should celebrate the explicit nature, the unabashed and unapologetic chutzpah of a film that dares to be stupid, yet does so with so much intelligence.

January 9, 2013 Full Review

Jason Gorber

Twitch

This cheap-looking dung heap doesn't even bother hiding its contempt for paying audiences, and the lack of pretension almost justifies the cynicism on display.

November 5, 2012

Rob Humanick

Projection Booth

What starts out as a seriously tense naval war thriller ends up being Pearl Harbour II: Intergalactic Boogaloo.

October 25, 2012 Full Review | Comment (1)

Ali Gray

TheShiznit.co.uk

All you'll find here is guilt at having wasted your time for no pleasure.

October 8, 2012 Full Review

Steve Wright

SciFiNow

Battleship is a movie that is enjoyable beyond expectation, but doesn't offer much more than the fast-food-style fun of a summer movie spectacle.

October 2, 2012 Full Review

Kofi Outlaw

ScreenRant

It's not satire, it doesn't play on two levels like Starship Troopers, it's just s---... As a piece of miscalculated, American wankery, it is almost unparalleled.

September 27, 2012 Full Review | Comment (1)

Adam Ross

The Aristocrat

Watch the movie for its spectacle and nothing else.

September 24, 2012 Full Review

Kevin Carr

7M Pictures

Peter Berg's Battleship is a sinking disaster that rarely stays afloat, but Universal's Blu-Ray disc is a finely tuned presentation that will put your HDTV and surround sound to the test.

September 18, 2012 Full Review | Comment (1)

Jeremy Lebens

We Got This Covered

A silly summer popcorn flick that tries too hard to be witty and tongue-in-cheek while still embracing its deadly serious commitment to being the ultimate blow-em-up action extravaganza.

September 15, 2012 Full Review

Kristal Cooper

We Got This Covered

It really should have been obvious to everyone involved that it was going to turn out like this.

September 14, 2012 Full Review

Jeff Beck

Examiner.com

Believe it or not, no one ever says the game's signature line. So, lets say it here, all together and with enthusiasm, "You sunk my Battleship!"

September 13, 2012 Full Review

Brian Holcomb

CinemaBlend.com

It appears a Hollywood boardroom has scraped the bottom of the barrel of originality to come up with a very long, very loud movie with almost nothing new to say.

September 10, 2012 Full Review

Justin Craig

FoxNews.com

It can't even muster any "so bad it's good" credentials.

September 6, 2012 Full Review

Rob Vaux

Sci-Fi Movie Page

Direction is sharp, but the dull assembly line story damages this hokey action picture that's occasionally so bad it's good.

August 28, 2012 Full Review

R. L. Shaffer

IGN DVD

Battleship is to chicken burritos what The Avengers was to shawarma.

August 22, 2012 Full Review | Comments (3)

William Bibbiani

CraveOnline

It's common to hear bloated, special-effects-driven blockbusters described as 'dumb fun'. Unfortunately there's very little that could be described as 'fun' in Battleship. There is, however, a whole lotta 'dumb'.

August 17, 2012 Full Review

Jordan Farley

SFX Magazine

Maybe it wasn't too smart to turn this Hasbro game into an alien-invasion movie.

July 13, 2012 Full Review | Comment (1)

Kirk Honeycutt

honeycuttshollywood.com

For an action flick that starts to sink right out of port, 'Battleship' does take a clever turn. But, boy, do you have to wait a long time for it to smarten up.

June 23, 2012 Full Review

Linda Cook

Quad City Times (Davenport, IA)

• 1. Lieutenant Alex Hopper: We need to find a way to destroy that communications relay.
  2. Petty Officer Cora "Weps" Raikes: Our last ship was just sunk, and we barely got off it. And we are compeltly cut off from the rest of the fleet. We don't have anything else.
  3. Lieutenant Alex Hopper: Yes, we do. [stares at the battleship Mississippi anchored in the harbor] We have a battleship.
  – Submitted by Stephan V (4 months ago)
• 1. Captain Yugi Nagata: [on the bridge with Hopper discussing how to track the aliens] What if we could see them without seeing them?
  2. Lieutenant Alex Hopper: Don't tell me you're talking about the Art of War. I've read that book six times, and it still dosen't make any sense to me. How do you fight the enemy where they are not?
  3. Captain Yugi Nagata: That is a Chinese book. Display NOAA data on the bridge monitor. [all NOAA data from buoys is displayed] Now, set grid formation. [a square grid appears on the monitor, and each buoy is in the center of a square] There's one right over there. [a square shows a large displacement of water from the buoy's measurements]
  – Submitted by Stephan V (4 months ago)
• 1. Petty Officer Cora "Weps" Raikes: Mahalo motherfucker.
  – Submitted by Typhon Q (5 months ago)
• 1. Admiral Shane: Prepare to fire.
  2. JPJ JOOD: Which weapons?
  3. Admiral Shane: All of them.
  – Submitted by James W (7 months ago)
• 1. Petty Officer Cora "Weps" Raikes: Mahalo mutherfucker!
  – Submitted by Natasha B (7 months ago)
• 1. Admiral Shane: I think I'll have a... chicken burrito.
  – Submitted by Curt D (7 months ago)