Crank (2006)
Average Rating: 6/10
Reviews Counted: 90
Fresh: 55 | Rotten: 35
It's a film about a guy injected with Speed... wait, there's no bus. It's a film about a guy who has to kick a bunch of squirmy butt to stay alive... wait, no snakes or planes here. But it is a film about doing lots of drugs and pulling lots of punches, and it entertains accordingly.
Average Rating: 5.2/10
Critic Reviews: 17
Fresh: 6 | Rotten: 11
It's a film about a guy injected with Speed... wait, there's no bus. It's a film about a guy who has to kick a bunch of squirmy butt to stay alive... wait, no snakes or planes here. But it is a film about doing lots of drugs and pulling lots of punches, and it entertains accordingly.
liked it
Average Rating: 3.5/5
User Ratings: 413,229
My Rating
Movie Info
A one-time freelance hitman who was just attempting to turn his life around is forced to keep his heart pumping when his vengeful former employers inject him with a lethal poison that will permanently stop his ticker if his pulse sinks beneath an active rate in a non-stop urban action extravaganza starring Jason Statham and Amy Smart. Chev Chelios (Statham) was one of the most skilled assassins in the West Coast crime syndicate. When he hung up his guns in the middle of a job to run off with his
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Cast
-
Jason Statham
Chev Chelios -
Amy Smart
Eve -
Jose Pablo Cantillo
Verona -
Efren Ramirez
Kaylo -
Dwight Yoakam
Doc Miles -
Carlos Sanz
Carlito -
Reno Wilson
Orlando -
Edi Gathegi
Haitian Cabbie -
Glenn Howerton
Doctor Ankleson -
Jay Xcala
Alex -
Keone Young
Don Kim -
Valarie Rae Miller
Chocolate -
Yusef Azami
Arab Cabbie -
Laurent Schwaar
Man in Garage -
David Brown
Sin City Brother -
Dorian Kingi
Convenience Store Clerk -
Med Abrous
Verona Crew -
Dan Stevens
Verona Crew -
Wally Lozano
Verona Crew -
David T. Green
Hightower -
Eve Loseth
Restaurant Waitress -
Allen Bloomfield
Pharmacy Man -
Stephanie Mace
Pharmacist -
Chester Bennington
Pharmacy Stoner -
Michael McLafferty
Hospital Cop -
Earl Carroll
Stretcher Patient -
Brian Swibel
Hospital Tech -
Donnie Smith
Hospital Tech -
Sean Graham
Motorcycle Cop -
Dan Callahan
TV Store Guy -
Noel Guglielmi
Warehouse Rooftop Hood -
Daniel Venegas
Warehouse Window Hood -
Francis Capra
Warehouse Hood Leader -
Frank Blake
Warehouse Hood 1 -
Michael J. Gonzalez
Warehouse Hood 2 -
Ken Moreno
Hood 3 -
Troy Robinson
Hood 4 -
Eddie Perez
Hood 5 -
Justin Riemer
Hood 6 -
Peter Choi
Shirt Factory Superviso... -
Elizabeth Jayne Hong
Bus Girl -
Toshi Toda
Japanese Businessman -
Sam Witwer
Shootout Henchman -
Jai Stefan
Shootout Henchman -
Jaclyn Chan
Cocoon Girl -
Rick Shuster
Helicopter Pilot -
Ted Garcia
TV Reporter -
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All Critics (94) | Top Critics (17) | Fresh (60) | Rotten (36) | DVD (16)
It's a promising concept, but instead of expending effort on, say, a coherent script, the filmmakers lazily rely on cheap editing tricks and gleefully relentless sadism.
Top CriticLeave it alone, or leave your brain and pocket change at the gate, strap yourself in and just enjoy the ride.
For those who enjoy this brand of wholly mindless entertainment, Crank delivers.
Jason Stratham rampages through Los Angeles in this retread of Speed, but for a movie premised on unrelenting action, Crank proves fatally turgid.
The movie is cranked up somewhere between stylish and proudly stupid.
While Crank has its moments, the line stringing them together isn't wound taut enough.
Gets by on a unique kind of absurd, deadpan humor in which the most implausible stuff cheerfully happens anyway.
Stylish, depraved, speedy action. Not for kids.
Sure, Crank is totally ridiculous, unbelievable, exhausting, and pretty much just plain stupid, but that's what makes it fun.
Ranks among the most mindless action films ever made, but scores as a helluva video game.
The super-concentrated silt at the bottom of a chemistry experiment that has no possible purpose to it but to deliver whatever limited jolt of which it's capable.
Its freneticism ... futilely tries to cover up the ludicrousness of every decision made by its dim characters.
Like D.O.A. as imagined by Guy Richie.
Assaults the senses tirelessly with wave after wave of momentum-building intensity, with Jason Statham enjoying his best role since The Transporter.
A macabre, attention-deficit adventure designed with the Joystick Generation in mind. For better or worse, the cinematic equivalent of crack.
You might just want to catch a matinee or wait for the DVD. This is definitely not worth your 10 bucks.
Audience Reviews for Crank
Super Reviewer
To quote Cracked: Jason Statham has to keep doing awesome things or it's all over, making this Jason Statham's Career: The Movie.
Super Reviewer
-
- Chev Chelios: How'd you like that one, tough guy? How fricking awesome was that, huh?
-
- Warehouse Hood 1: Chev you should crawl into a dark corner and do us all a favor an die.
- Chev Chelios: What you think I have the word 'cunt' wrote on my forehead?
-
- Doc Miles: [to Chev] If you stop you die.
- Chev Chelios: [to store clerk] If you move you die.
Discussion Forum
There are no discussion threads for Crank yet.
Latest News on Crank
May 16, 2013:
Bruce Willis Makes an Expiration DateHe'll play a poisoned hitman who's searching for an antidote before his time runs out.
January 18, 2011:
Jason Statham Talks More Crank, Expendables 2He's out promoting "The Mechanic," but that doesn't mean Jason Statham can't talk about other things...
April 15, 2009:
Exclusive: Bullets and Babes on the Crank High Voltage SetIn this week's super-charged sequel to the 2006 sleeper hit, Crank (60%), the writing-directing team...
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Now I know you are probably saying to yourself, "isn't that film just Speed, but with a heart instead of a bus." You would be wrong. Not about the heart thing because that is totally true, but you would be wrong in assuming that that is all this film has to offer. What it delivers is truly beyond comprehension. And depending on the elasticity of your moral compass, that could either be a good or a bad thing. After all,this film features, but is not limited to; dismemberment, public rape, hands in waffle irons, phone calls during skydiving, boner gags, instantly disappearing gunshot wounds, Dwight Yokam, and gobs of racism.
Fortunately, I had been warned several times and went into it with the correct mindset. Meaning, if you are able to take off your critic's hat and your ability to empathize with other human beings, then Crank is quite an enjoyable experience.
But viewer be warned, do not imbibe energy drinks or attempt any strenuous activity while viewing Crank. I had the misfortune of watching this film on my iphone during a grueling bike ride and was pretty convinced that my heart was going to explode at any moment.
Now that you have been warned, go rent Crank now and enjoy the ride.