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DVD (4)
Loud, shiny, and critic-proof, this franchise launcher is basically Transformers minus the humanity.
[Director] Sommers did the first two chaotic Mummy remakes; those play like Tender Mercies compared to this one.
After a first hour that plays like a bad TV show, Sommers hits his groove with an over-the-top Paris chase sequence that, in turn, leads to an underwater finale that's absurdly overproduced, momentarily diverting, and then instantly forgettable.
Sometimes, a film defies conventional narrative and artistic standards so utterly that it seems unfair to judge it by them.... Consider this a tone poem in 40 scraps of dialogue.
This pricey, juiceless pulp could never have been killed by critics, simply because it was already dead.
OK, it's seriously deficient in plot or acting. But in this genre, those two ingredients are as superfluous as canoes in a desert.
Here comes GI Joe, a film so loud and dumb it makes Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen look like a Mike Leigh docudrama.
As is usually the case, the seething bad guys make for far more "interesting" onscreen characters than the heroes.
Joe is the latest bloated float in Sommers's sad parade of cinematic shame...a glorified Cannon Films production with a nasty case of ADD."
G.I. Joe: Rise Of Cobra is a very throwaway experience, likely to be forgotten by the film world very quickly.
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is like a term paper that fulfills the word count requirement and drops in key phrases to demonstrate some familiarity with the material but is largely filler.
It's just as you would expect: poorly acted, conventionally written and occasionally fun.
... it's actually better (again, the wrong word; "not nearly as awful" is closer to correct) than the recent Transformers sequel, and significantly shorter to boot.
We're glad we didn't pay full price for our movie tickets.
Light entertainment with little to call memorable ... but at least therein exists some detectable evidence that the filmmakers had a soft spot for G.I. Joe and simply wanted to deliver its essence to the screen.
expensively produced escapist fantasy designed to protect the delicate sensibilities of the kids while never for a moment taxing their budding critical thinking skills
Un film bâclé qui n'obéit à aucune logique physique ou narrative
A typically frenetic actioner from Stephen Sommers...
This is an action film highlight reel, with any sense of story or purpose shoved to the corners.
There are bound to be some 10-year-olds who will shout a hearty "Yo Joe!" (the G.I. Joe battle cry). The rest of us will more likely be crying, "Say it ain't so, Joe!"
Fans will be disappointed unless they're so desperate that they'll like anything that says it's a G.I. JOE movie.
The folks at Hasbro must be laughing all the way to the bank this summer.
This is my favorite bad movie of the summer. And yes, I realize that's a backhanded compliment. Yo Joe.
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