Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013)
Average Rating: 4/10
Reviews Counted: 126
Fresh: 19 | Rotten: 107
Alternately bloody and silly, Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters fails as both a fantasy adventure and as a parody of same.
Average Rating: 3/10
Critic Reviews: 20
Fresh: 1 | Rotten: 19
Alternately bloody and silly, Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters fails as both a fantasy adventure and as a parody of same.
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Average Rating: 3.4/5
User Ratings: 87,484
Movie Info
After getting a taste for blood as children, Hansel (Jeremy Renner) and Gretel (Gemma Arterton) have become the ultimate vigilantes, hell bent on retribution. Now, unbeknownst to them, Hansel and Gretel have become the hunted, and must face an evil far greater than witches...their past. -- (C) Paramount
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Cast
-
Jeremy Renner
Hansel -
Gemma Arterton
Gretel -
Famke Janssen
Muriel -
Peter Stormare
Berringer -
Ingrid Bolsø Berdal
Horned Witch -
Derek Mears
Edward -
Thomas Mann
Ben -
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All Critics (126) | Top Critics (20) | Fresh (19) | Rotten (107) | DVD (3)
If this long-delayed and blatantly pandering CGI malarkey is anything to go by, Hollywood's current craze for fairy tales isn't going to have a happy ending.
Top CriticThere isn't much to this beyond the poorly staged, rapidly edited violence; the witches, all but devoid of backstory, are basically canvasses for cartoon splatter.
The movie settles for showers of gore with intermittent moments of spoofiness.
The whole kidding trope, which you can bet was ordered by McKay and Ferrell, is pretty lame, and defeats the leads' attempts to bring shadings to cardboard cartoon characters.
At least it puts forth a sound message: Kids, avoid overdoing it on sweets -- especially candy that doubles as drywall.
It's a grim fairy tale, all right.
The best "Evil Dead" sequel we never got.
Very lean and speedy... Its primary goal seems to be to entertain as quickly as possible and get the audience back out the door before the story gets old.
Another similarity it shares with Van Helsing is that it's not very good.
a loud, obnoxious mess
I laughed quite often, at its brazen and unapologetic stupidity more than its intentional stabs at comedy.
[Director Tommy] Wirkola attempts to balance his over-the-top gore with gags, but the jokes often fall flat. The characters aren't very compelling either, and that's a problem in a film built around action.
There may be some wit afoot, particularly with director-writer Tommy Wirkola's good-for-a-chuckle rethinking of the missing child notices adorning milk bottles, but the film is still just a one-note, hired guns story-with groupies.
Imagine the elaborate plan: 'We use the sets left over from Red Riding Hood, add a candy house, throw in some aerial forest shots out of Twilight, keep it cheap. Steampunk it up, and have 'em wear leather, 'specially her. Lotsa cleavage.'
Nothing more than Dario Argento dialed down for fourteen-year-olds.
It's an amusingly cheeky notion: the siblings from the Brothers Grimm fairy tale as witch-slaying bounty hunters. A defter hand than Wirkola's might have succeeded ... but the film's anachronisms are clumsy and most of the jokes fall flat.
Dangerously ignorant and inaccurate on the subject of diabetes, Hansel and Gretel should be disregarded at all costs, and the filmmakers really ashamed they put something so irresponsible on the big screen.
...feels like a coven of people in offices visited the set, were shown the mocked-up candy house and then decided to gut the whole thing and make it safe for theatrical and television sales to other countries where there's lots of censorship.
Let's not mince words: Hansel and Gretel is not a good movie.
The gore is a bore and the sweary script just isn't funny.
One suspects that, seriously or tongue in cheek, it's really about the "war against terror" and that Hansel and Gretel are the CIA and the witches belong to al-Qaida.
What will Terra Firma's new overlords think of us if, by some freak set of circumstances, Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters is all that remains of our once proud hominid civilisation?
There's no reason in the world for Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters not to be good, clean, trashy fun. But it isn't.
Made in Germany, this raucous adventure merrily refuses to follow the usual Hollywood route of blanding-down a fairy tale for the lowest common denominator (see both Snow White movies last year).
[A] fast and furious all-action continuation of the classic fairy tale ...
It's an appalling, insulting and cynical mess from start to finish.
Audience Reviews for Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters
Super Reviewer
Super Reviewer
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- Hansel: I'm old fashioned but Gretel needs more convincing to clarify that someone is a witch.
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- Ben: When I am a grown up, I wanna hunt witches like you too do.
- Gretel: We didn't ask for this Ben.
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- Gretel: You collected all this?
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- Hansel: The name's Hansel, and this here is my sister, Gretel.
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- Gretel: What do you think your doing?
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- Hansel: Who the fuck is Edward?
Discussion Forum
| Topic | Last Post | Replies |
|---|---|---|
| How can this religious-hate-movie even have been made? | 27 days ago | 193 |
| Hell yeah. | 27 days ago | 67 |
| IT BETTER HAVE DWARVES FARTING! | 3 months ago | 28 |
| No review? | 8 months ago | 13 |
| For Christopher Walken | 58 days ago | 12 |
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Latest News on Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters
June 4, 2013:
Digital Multiplex: Jack the Giant Slayer and Hansel & GretelIf you're hankering for some alternate takes on well known fairy tales this week, then look no...
January 28, 2013:
Box Office Guru Wrapup: Hansel & Gretel Hunt Their Way to #1This weekend, the horror-action combo Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters led a sluggish North American...
January 24, 2013:
Critics Consensus: Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters Not Screened -- Guess the Tomatometer!This week at the movies, we've got killer siblings (Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters, starring...
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Foreign Titles
- Hänsel und Gretel: Hexenjäger (DE)
- Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (UK)
