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Stan Helsing (2009)

tomatometer

0

Average Rating: 2.2/10
Critic Reviews: 7
Fresh: 0 | Rotten: 7

No consensus yet.

audience

18

liked it
Average Rating: 2.2/5
User Ratings: 5,877

My Rating

Movie Info

A descendant of the legendary vampire slayer who did battle with the most infamous bloodsucker in history faces off against six of the most frightening monsters of the modern era in this rowdy horror comedy featuring Kenan Thompson and Leslie Nielsen. The closest that video-store clerk Stan Helsing (Steve Howey) ever came to fending off monsters was dealing with disgruntled customers irked at the lack of new releases -- but with Halloween fast approaching, that's all about to change. When the

R,

Horror, Comedy

Bo Zenga

Oct 27, 2009

Anchor Bay Entertainment - Official Site External Icon

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All Critics (18) | Top Critics (7) | Fresh (3) | Rotten (15) | DVD (2)

Like garlic, holy water and silver bullets for our mythic evildoers, Stan Helsing is a surefire repellent to any good time.

December 7, 2009 Full Review Source: Los Angeles Times
Los Angeles Times
Top Critic IconTop Critic

If Stan does nothing else, it should at least get its four leads some attention.

October 26, 2009 Full Review Source: Variety
Variety
Top Critic IconTop Critic

If there's one thing of which the cinematic world doesn't need more, it's horror movie spoofs.

October 23, 2009
Hollywood Reporter
Top Critic IconTop Critic

How do you make fun of boredom without being boring? Well, that's a tall task requiring lots of smarts and even more artistry.

October 23, 2009 Full Review Source: Globe and Mail
Globe and Mail
Top Critic IconTop Critic

By the time we reach the climactic karaoke smackdown, we have learned more about Freddy Kruegerâ(TM)s personal hygiene challenges -- and how to make a shockingly bad movie -- than we ever wanted to know.

October 23, 2009
New York Times
Top Critic IconTop Critic

Mostly the gags are unfortunate and amateurish, but this micro-budget flick at least has a semi-coherent plot and every 10 minutes or so there's a flash of wit.

October 23, 2009 Full Review Source: New York Post
New York Post
Top Critic IconTop Critic

A darkly humorous horror comedy that fails to re-ignite the spark that made Scary Movie so much fun.

August 15, 2011 Full Review Source: Cinema Sight
Cinema Sight

[Director] Zenga really seems to be enamored with the genre he's satirizing embedding these gags in to the scripts instead of just tossing them at us waiting for us to laugh...

August 13, 2010 Full Review Source: Cinema Crazed
Cinema Crazed

In other words, you have to be a teenaged male or totally baked to appreciate this movie. Probably both.

July 6, 2010 Full Review Source: Georgia Straight

Its target audience is without question people who are just looking for a mindless good time and horny teenagers who find fart jokes to be the epitome of humor.

November 5, 2009 Full Review Source: Dread Central | Comment (1)

At least the Scary Movie features had a budget and filmmakers with some genre battle scars. Stan Helsing is more Friedberg/Seltzer territory: random, agonizingly desperate, and dripping with laziness.

October 30, 2009 Full Review Source: DVDTalk.com
DVDTalk.com

Puerile, yes, but rooted sincerely in character, this well cast comedy lampoons contemporary film audiences' familiarity with the horror genre without ever stooping to senselessly overloaded referential gags.

October 29, 2009 Full Review Source: Shared Darkness
Shared Darkness

How low can the genre-spoof genre go?

October 23, 2009 Full Review Source: Jam! Movies
Jam! Movies

This might be the cheapest-looking production of the year.

October 23, 2009 Full Review Source: Slant Magazine
Slant Magazine

To its credit, Stan Helsing is no less funny than the studio comedy Couples Retreat, meaning that even marquee comedians like Vince Vaughn couldn't save this film.

October 23, 2009 Full Review Source: Boxoffice Magazine
Boxoffice Magazine

Concocting a Halloween season brew of grossout and gentle gore, Stan Helsing doesn't let its derivative horror get in the way of over the top humor served up spicy and raw.

October 22, 2009 Full Review Source: NewsBlaze
NewsBlaze

Audience Reviews for Stan Helsing

Warning: this movie will likely cause irritation and a severe loss of braincells. Comparable to entering a run-down haunted house, where all the props are malfunctioning and the live-performing ghoulies have long since stopped giving a damn.

A barely watchable, underachieving parody, whose only saving grace is its busty female beauties and a brief appearance by the late great Leslie Nielsen. I could extend my distaste for it with an even longer review, but why waste more time on it than I already have.

If you want a fun horror spoof, watch Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil instead. Or even a haphazard selection among the Scary Movie flicks, which appear quite ingenious next to a suck-fest like this.

To be fair though, it isn't altogether crappy. Kenan Thompson was pretty funny in some scenes and it did have ONE big, sexy appeal: former playmate Diora Baird. Whenever things got too cheesy, at least she was there in her skimpy indian outfit to save the day. She ought to get her own movie, called "Poca-hot-ass"!

Besides Diora and her bazongas though, this misfire of a comedy doesn't have much to offer. Kind of like a bad Halloween special of Family Guy, if not more random yet. In other words: avoid like the plague!
July 7, 2012
CloudStrife84
Mike S

Super Reviewer

Any redeeming quality I tried to find in this was found wanting. Not only does this movie never once make true sense, but it rips off from all the low budget, grunge fests that have been produced in the last ten years with introductions from American Pie, National Lampoon, and the Scary Movie films. Stan Helsing is a parody, that really parodies nothing. It isn't all too funny, though the movie features a hilarious cameo by legend Leslie Nielsen. Besides the women in the film being almost naked with a laughable explanation, and the distinct stupidity of parodies, the characters only possessed substance in the beginning of the film before swiftly shifting to all out chaos and dumbassery. Watch Nielsen on YouTube; otherwise, avoid this like the plague.
June 22, 2011
FrizzDrop

Super Reviewer

Lame. I expected better from Kenan Thompson.
January 29, 2011
3niR
Dead Angel

Super Reviewer

    1. Stan Helsing: You drank the holy water?
    2. Teddy: It was delicious.
    – Submitted by John B (8 months ago)
View all quotes (1)

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