I don't know what to think about this movie. On the one hand it isn't really all that terrible for the genre. On the other hand it really isn't very good either. It's like a lukewarm drink. It's just unsatisfying enough to make you disappointed. Basically what happens is that there is a power outage at the
Universal Cryogenics lab. Apparently they never considered this before because they don't have a generator or a battery backup for their corpses ... uh I mean ... clients. Anyway the guards decide that it would be a good idea to put all of the containers outside where it is "cooler" while they're waiting for the power company to show up. Here are the major flaws with that logic. It's supposed to be 30 degrees outside but there's rain and a full on thunderstorm. Also, by moving all of the containers outside aren't you making it that much harder on yourself once the power is fixed? I mean, then you have to move them all back in just to turn them back on. That makes about as much sense as wheeling your fridge outside every time the power goes out. So, with all of the containers outside wouldn't you know it. They all magically become lightning rods and electricity flows through the conductive "green" (they mention that the fluid is green like 9 times) cryogenics fluid; bringing the zombies to life. Over the next 45 minutes we see all sorts of random zombie Tom foolery. Apparently undead zombies in The Chilling can ... politely tap people on the shoulder, wield a sword, pick up people by the collar, lift garage doors, punch in cryogenic chamber access codes, take carefully timed jumps on to unsuspecting victims, drive cars, survive without their head, pop out from behind cover, and run down stairs. But they can't walk straight, or gang up on a guy driving a fork lift.This movie was, in my opinion, made to be a political statement about the dangers and immorality of cryogenics. I don't think it worked. Anyone with a brain already knows that cryogenics is BS. We can't even heal sick people, how can we possibly reanimate and then heal already dead people? That's like building a new cow out of steaks.Probably the most disappointing thing in this movie is the fact that they show you that Roosevelt, Walt Disney, Charlie Chaplin, and Michael Jackson are stored at Universal Cryogenics but they never show one of them attacking anyone. Talk about a missed Thriller reenactment opportunity.The dumbest overall move by our heroes in this movie is the run for the car scene. They finally all get in the car and of course it stalls. Probably because it is a Chevy Celebrity turned rent-a-cop car. So instead of getting out and running to either the limo or the repair van to escape they all just go back inside. Why? Why not try to escape? Where is the harm in that?You have to be pretty hard up to watch and enjoy this movie. I'd recommend it only to those who just can't get enough zombie movies or those who are gluttons for punishment.
March 17, 2010
