The Watch (2012)

All Critics (153) | Top Critics (36) | Fresh (25) | Rotten (128) | DVD (2)

A film packaged as pure product, aiming to snare the combined markets for loudmouth comics, sci-fi action and, er, Richard Ayoade - who, however seemingly misplaced, is the freshest thing here.

August 21, 2012 Full Review

Guy Lodge

Time Out

Top Critic

It's a mash-up of blah buddy comedy and gross-out CGI monster splatter, with nary a laugh to be had.

August 3, 2012 Full Review

Peter Rainer

Christian Science Monitor

Top Critic

The Watch is a predictable and lazy comedy wrapped around a penis joke occasionally enlivened with some funny lines.

July 27, 2012 Full Review | Comment (1)

Linda Barnard

Toronto Star

Top Critic

What should have been at least Ghostbusters lite ends up sliming audiences with sloppy seconds.

July 27, 2012 Full Review | Comments (7)

Peter Travers

Rolling Stone

Top Critic

"The Watch" takes the same ethos of male bonding, obsession with sex and sardonic violence that has proved so profitable in recent years on yet another summer spin.

July 26, 2012 Full Review | Comments (2)

Ann Hornaday

Washington Post

Top Critic

Improvisation is definitely The Watch-word, with Vaughn and Hill in particular winging just about every line they speak - most of them filthy, few of them funny.

July 26, 2012 Full Review | Comment (1)

Rick Groen

Globe and Mail

Top Critic

Rote, crass and worst of all, totally laugh-free, it inspires you to exact your own brand of vigilante justice.

May 26, 2013 Full Review

Al Alexander

The Patriot Ledger

Light entertainment at its lightest, The Watch does at least elicit some laughs.

March 4, 2013 Full Review

Tom Glasson

Concrete Playground

"The Watch" is a Dream Team in which no one's drawn up any plays and nobody passes the ball. Everybody just shoots and hopes for the best.

February 12, 2013 Full Review

Tim Grierson

Deadspin

This lame sci-fi comedy was supposed to be for teens, but was re-written by Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg to be aimed at adults. The result is a movie that doesn't work for either.

December 12, 2012 Full Review

Eric Melin

Scene-Stealers.com

Bland and juvenile, with little thought, humour, or imagination. It actually endorses its posse of puerile nobodies as noble, ass-kicking Americans.

November 22, 2012 Full Review

Brian Gibson

Vue Weekly (Edmonton, Canada)

A talented cast shines brightly, but can't carry the weight of this under-inspired sci-fi frolic.

November 16, 2012 Full Review

Michael Sauter

Film Journal International

For a flabby 101-minute movie, the gag hit rate is alarmingly low.

October 30, 2012 Full Review

Andy Lea

Daily Star

Aims for ridiculous comedy, hits "ridiculous"

October 20, 2012 Full Review

Marty Mapes

Movie Habit

The aliens may be not of this Earth, but the jokes in this lifeless sci-fi comedy are so lazy they never even manage to lift off.

October 19, 2012 Full Review

Jason Buchanan

TV Guide's Movie Guide

The only arcs these characters encounter are in their pants.

October 19, 2012 Full Review

Adam Ross

The Aristocrat

If the scenes between the four leads had been stronger, it might have been easier to overlook the film's structural and tonal weaknesses, but as it happens they only rescue it in dribs and drabs.

September 30, 2012 Full Review

Martin Roberts

Fan The Fire

The Watch is a lazy production at nearly every level. Expect these aliens to have better luck in a couple years - when they invade basic cable.

September 27, 2012 Full Review

Ben Kendrick

ScreenRant

All of this builds a pretty catastrophic picture of The Watch - and I think, given how many other awesome, funny, gross and clever comedies are out there, I refuse to be an apologist. It's not an unmitigated disaster, but it's not good - or good enough.

September 26, 2012 Full Review

Patrick Kolan

Shotgun Critic

... one of the funniest movies of the year.

September 26, 2012 Full Review | Comment (1)

Jim Lane

Sacramento News & Review

the story regularly dozes off and wakes up in other places, squinting its eyes and groping in the dark for laughs.

September 20, 2012 Full Review

Luke Buckmaster

Crikey

It's one of those sad occasions where the bringing together of funny people mysteriously negates their ability to be funny.

September 15, 2012 Full Review

Jim Schembri

3AW

The Watch is an utterly soulless, lazy, painfully dull affair. It is not a film. It is a product, and an awful one. This is one of the worst movies I have ever seen.

September 14, 2012 Full Review | Comment (1)

Jonathan Lack

We Got This Covered

There may be plenty of studio comedies that are better than this film, but there are more that are worse.

September 13, 2012 Full Review

Dominic Corry

Flicks.co.nz

The Watch doesn't totally know what it is - but that doesn't matter. It's entertaining, silly fun, if you like gaggles of fools stumbling upon alien invasions and d*ck jokes.

September 13, 2012 Full Review

Blake Howard

2UE That Movie Show

The Watch is indeed a feathered fish. It's a freaking underwater ostrich. Whether or not it will appeal to all four quadrants is of little concern to any viewer lucky enough to be located within its niche demographic, however.

September 12, 2012 Full Review

Simon Miraudo

Quickflix

• 1. Jamarcus: In a few hours, a transmitter will become operational. When it signals, our armada will commence a global invasion starting here in Glenview, which is clearly not ideal for you.
  2. Bob: What?
  3. Franklin: Why?
  4. Jamarcus: We're aliens, that's what we do.
  – Submitted by Hugo A (7 months ago)
• 1. Franklin: Look there's that kid from Costco with the big fat dick. Walking around with his massive cock like he owns the joint. That shits just banging against his knee caps. $20 that guys dick dips in the toilet as he's taking a shit.
  – Submitted by Rory R (7 months ago)
• 1. Franklin: I have one important question that I need you to answer for me right now, are you with us?
  2. Sergeant Bressman: Are you a cup?
  3. Franklin: No, you rejected me because I was too awesome for you.
  – Submitted by Sahily C (8 months ago)
• 1. Jamarcus: Nice to meet you.
  2. Retiree #1: Fuck you curly.
  – Submitted by Paddy R (8 months ago)
• 1. Jamarcus: Bob, this is the shits.
  2. Jason: It's just shit.
  3. Jamarcus: This, is just shit.
  – Submitted by Tom G (9 months ago)
• 1. Bob: Who is this boy toy named Jason? What's his toy story?
  – Submitted by Ikayo G (9 months ago)