Paradiso mistakes noise for comedy and bossy attitudes for satire.
Tony N' Tina's Wedding (2007)
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Reviews Counted:8
Fresh:2
Rotten:6
Average Rating:3.6/10
Rated: R [See Full Rating] for language including sexual references, and some drug use
Runtime: 1 hr 50 mins
Genre: Comedies
Theatrical Release:Dec 5, 2007 Limited
Synopsis:
Tony 'n Tina's Wedding is the story of childhood sweethearts, who decide the next coolest thing to do after High School is to get married. Tina and her circle of friends are not the kind of kids...
Tony 'n Tina's Wedding is the story of childhood sweethearts, who decide the next coolest thing to do after High School is to get married. Tina and her circle of friends are not the kind of kids who go off to Princeton or Stanford. They may study at Community Colleges, but their goals in life are to get married and have a family. Now Tony and his gang don’t even have the option of Community College. They are already working and earning their way through the school of Hard Heads, Queens, New York. Tony is a street kid, but not a thug or addict. He’s a hustler about to be hustled into taking over his Dad’s GoGo Bar. He’s also getting married to Tina even though she isn’t even pregnant yet. “It‘s da right ting ta do” as Tony has often said to himself and others. “Why wait ‘till you knock her up, you know?”
As Dominic says: "There are a couple of minah problems. You see, Mr. Nunzio, Tony’s dad, and Mrs. Vitale, Tina’s mom, they don’t like each othuh. Somethin’ about her an’ Mr. Nunzio hatin’ each othuh in High School in Queens, but Mrs. Vitale, she got married to Vito Vitale and they moved outta the shit hole old neighborhood to the burbs and the real life in Massapequa. They got a real house 2 miles from the beach. Tony, you see, still lives with his Dad in an apartment above the GoGo Bar. It’s Tony, his Dad, his Grandma and Maddy, his Dad’s newest girlfriend. Madd’s nice, she dances in the club, but she’s not like Tony’s Mom. Maddy don’t cook if you know what I mean. Grandma’s not too happy, but she wasn’t happy wit the real wife who tried to torch the place and ended up in a institution. The family don’t like to bring her up too much." According to Donna Marsalis, Tina's closest friend, "They been goin’ together since fifth grade. It’s too bad Tina’s Dad Vito died last year. Tina’s been real down about that, but she told her Dad she was goin’ to marry Tony and Vito gave it his blessing. So that’s that. I know for a fact Mrs. Nunzio’s been trying to call it off, but she don’t get it. Tony and Tina are in love. Wish I was in love, but that’s another story.”
Marina, one of Tina’s bridesmaids and a Tina wannabe from way back says: “Oh, the wedding was so romantic, until the guys got like jerkoffs and got drunk and fucked the whole thing up. But the ceremony was bee u tee full. Father Mark is just the coolest priest. And what a ring Tony gave her. At least 3 carats with rubies all ovuh. The whole place rocked. I thought Mrs. Vitale was gonna have a heart attack. She kept praying to Vito. Mr. Nunzio looked like he didn’t mind. Of course, we all shit in our pants when Michael, Tina’s demented ex, she and Tony had a fight one year, sophomore year, and Tina and Michael dated. Anyway, Michael got naked and sat on the wedding cake, I swear. The shit hit the fan when one of the ovens exploded. People say Vinnie torched the place but we all conga danced outside without any known fatalities. It was weird. The whole thing spilled outside on the parking lot. I mean people are stoppin’ their cars and watchin. Then all of a sudden, I notice Tony and Tina sittin’ in the car makin’ up. Next thing I know they’re beepin’ the horn, givin’ us the finguh and peelin’ out. Everybody stopped to watch them given us the finguh. All of a sudden there’s a big explosion. The Coliseum’s up in flames. Thank God everyone’s outta there. So, like I said, it was romantic, but a little too much Queens hittuh stuff at the end if you ask me.” --© Emerging Films
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Starring: Joey McIntyre, Mila Kunis, Adrian Grenier
Starring: Joey McIntyre, Mila Kunis, Adrian Grenier
Director: Roger Paradiso
Director: Roger Paradiso
Studio: IFC Films
Reviews for Tony N' Tina's Wedding
This is unforced, gradually unhinged, always-entertaining hilarity involving one of the most unconventional wedding receptions ever to be put on film.
Tony n' Tina's Wedding picks all the Queens-Long Island clichés, rolls them into a ball, and then throws what's probably more of a spare than a strike.
Nothing more than a white minstrel show and one is forced to wonder why this particular community is not out protesting it in force.
Plays out like a far too long (108 minutes) sketch featuring stereotypical characterizations and witless dialogue and situations.
It's all mean-spirited, foulmouthed sniping about oversexed tramps, philandering horndogs and Italians with big mouths and no taste.
Setting the action wishfully in the hilarious year of 1988 for hair and fashion points, writer-director Roger Paradiso throws a pall of desperation and contempt over his throng of caricatures before they even leave the church.
The not-exactly-long-awaited movie version is here, trading in stereotypes just as ineptly as the original.
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