Troll 2 (1990)

This movie is like the perfect storm of crumminess. It's great, without being good by anyone's definition. It's so stupid, it makes no sense and everything is done wrong. The cameras can't keep anyone in shot, the sound got loused up at several points causing the dialogue to be lost and the story is confusing at best and internally confused at worst. From what I understand, a psychic or possibly schizophrenic child is being haunted and/or is imagining his dead grandfather, who menaces him by telling him incredibly insistent fairy tails about murderous goblins. Then his family goes on vacation to a town where the malevolent inhabitants keep trying to kill them by tricking them into eating pistachio pudding. The goblins prey on humans, despite being vegetarians, so they have to first magically turn their prey into rotting vegetation before they can eat them. The writer has since said that she was trying to express her frustration at her hoity-toity newly vegetarian friends, so hah! Take that, vegans! Revenge is a dish best served by insane Italian people, who have only ever read about food in books.There's also a manic evil witch in the movie. Who is also evil. I don't know why. This movie is so much fun to watch, and the stilted dialogue and really glaring plot mistakes will have you rolling in the aisles. One time, a troll gets punched in the face hard enough to visibly spin his mask around on his head. It's hilarious. Also, why is it that the family needs to have a seance to summon Grandpa Seth, an unwelcome spirit that they couldn't get rid of even twenty minutes ago? Why do the characters narrate what they're doing aloud? Why does Eliot bring his idiot friends everywhere? What's the difference between the goblins and the possessed townsfolk? This movie is like the kid at school that gets made fun of, not just for being odd but for trying to be cool by saying "yo" and "radical" a lot. I am so happy I saw this movie. It's really really bad, but it is so enjoyable.