Ed Asner

Edward Asner

Highest Rated: 100% El Dorado (1967)

Lowest Rated: 9% The Bachelor (1999)

Birthday: Nov 15, 1929

Birthplace: Kansas City, Missouri, USA

A legend of both comedy and drama in both film and television, Ed Asner had the distinction of being the only actor to win an Emmy in both genres for playing the same character, Lou Grant. A crusty, heavy-drinking TV news producer, Grant was a major presence on the iconic sitcom "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" (CBS, 1970-77) and its dramatic spin-off, "Lou Grant" (CBS, 1977-1982). A veteran of stages in New York and Chicago, Asner was a frequent guest star on shows like "The Fugitive" (ABC, 1963-67), "Ironside" (NBC, 1967-1975) and "Mission: Impossible" (CBS, 1966-1973), before landing the role of news director Lou Grant in 1970. After playing the role for laughs over seven seasons, CBS spun off the character into the drama series "Lou Grant," where Asner spent another five seasons as a newspaper editor confronting serious social and political issues that reflected his own outspoken opinions. From there, Asner frequently transitioned between film and television, playing drunken private investigator Guy Banister in "JFK" (1991) and Santa Claus in "Elf" (2003), as well as guesting on shows like "The X-Files" (Fox, 1993-2002), "Touched by an Angel" (CBS, 1994-2003) and "ER" (NBC, 1994-2009). Working well into his golden years, he also had a prominent career doing voiceover work, most notably playing the curmudgeonly Carl Fredrickson in the Pixar hit "Up" (2009). Despite his outspoken political activism, Asner remained impossible to dislike as well as one of Hollywood's hardest working performers.

Photos

Highest Rated Movies

Filmography

Movies

Credit
73% 82% M.O.M. (Mothers of Monsters) Dr. Howard Arden (Character) - 2020
No Score Yet No Score Yet Senior Entourage Ed (Character) - 2020
92% 91% The Garden Left Behind Dr. Cleary (Character) - 2019
80% 81% Faith, Hope & Love Harry Karetas (Character) $210K 2019
No Score Yet No Score Yet The Tattooed Torah Narrator - 2019
No Score Yet No Score Yet All of My Heart: The Wedding Vern (Character) - 2018
No Score Yet No Score Yet Angels on Tap Swifty (Character) - 2018
100% No Score Yet The Parting Glass Tommy (Character) - 2018
No Score Yet No Score Yet In Vino Charles (Character) - 2017
No Score Yet 25% All of My Heart: Inn Love Vern (Character) - 2017
No Score Yet 7% CarGo Art (Voice) - 2017
No Score Yet 50% Saving Christmas Rick (Character) - 2017
No Score Yet No Score Yet Yamasong: March of the Hollows Elder Pyreez (Voice) - 2017
No Score Yet 60% Santa Stole Our Dog! Santa (Character) - 2017
No Score Yet 40% Love Finds You in Valentine Gabriel Morgan (Character) - 2016
No Score Yet No Score Yet Framed: The Adventures of Zion Man Adult Walter (Voice) - 2016
No Score Yet No Score Yet Super Sex George (Character) - 2016
No Score Yet No Score Yet Boonville Redemption Unknown (Character) - 2016
No Score Yet No Score Yet Love Meet Hope Mr. James (Character) - 2016
No Score Yet No Score Yet Getting Ed Laid Ed Randall (Character) - 2016
No Score Yet 93% Joe's War Harry Corman (Character) - 2015
No Score Yet No Score Yet The Nutcracker Sweet Owl (Voice) - 2015
No Score Yet 44% All of My Heart Vern (Character) - 2015
No Score Yet No Score Yet Audrey Walt (Character) - 2014
40% 45% The Games Maker Nicholas Drago (Character) - 2014
No Score Yet 17% Axel: The Biggest Little Hero Bonta/ Narrator (Voice) - 2014
No Score Yet No Score Yet Frozen in Time Grandpa (Voice) - 2014
No Score Yet 29% Second Chances Chief Buddy (Character) - 2013
73% 54% The House of Magic Sr. Jeffrey McDonough (Voice) - 2013
No Score Yet No Score Yet Christmas on the Bayou Papa Noel (Character) - 2013
No Score Yet 30% Home Alone: The Holiday Heist Mr. Carson (Character) - 2012
No Score Yet 8% Elephant Sighs Leo (Character) - 2012
No Score Yet 15% Identical Yaakov Washington (Character) - 2011
No Score Yet 40% Witness Insecurity Maxwell (Character) - 2011
77% 76% Too Big to Fail Warren Buffett (Character) - 2011
No Score Yet 34% Let Go Artie Satz (Character) - 2011
No Score Yet No Score Yet Shattered Hopes: The True Story of the Amityville Murders - Part I: From Horror to Homicide Narrator - 2011
No Score Yet 33% Hopelessly in June Rabbi (Character) - 2011
No Score Yet No Score Yet Good Men Morty (Character) - 2011
No Score Yet No Score Yet The Barrel of a Gun Unknown (Character) - 2010
No Score Yet No Score Yet Not Another B Movie Angry Investor (Character) - 2010
89% 88% The Desert of Forbidden Art Unknown (Voice) - 2010
No Score Yet 63% Superman/Batman: Apocalypse Granny Goodness (Voice) - 2010
No Score Yet No Score Yet The Triumph of William Henry Harrison Narrator - 2009
98% 90% Up Carl Fredericksen (Voice) - 2009
36% 34% Gigantic Mr. Weathersby (Character) $102.1K 2008
No Score Yet 41% Generation Gap Bart Cahill (Character) - 2008
No Score Yet 77% Channels Ed Packard (Character) - 2008
No Score Yet No Score Yet The Rich Have Their Own Photographers Unknown (Character) - 2007
No Score Yet No Score Yet Hard Four Nat Segal (Character) - 2007
No Score Yet 38% Christmas Is Here Again Krad (Voice) - 2007
No Score Yet No Score Yet Crab Orchard Grandpa Cecil (Character) - 2006
No Score Yet 65% The Christmas Card Luke Spelman (Character) - 2006
No Score Yet No Score Yet All In Unknown (Character) - 2005
No Score Yet 27% Out of the Woods Jack Green (Character) - 2005
No Score Yet No Score Yet Sleeping Dogs Lie Unknown (Character) - 2004
84% 79% Elf Santa (Character) $173.4M 2003
No Score Yet No Score Yet The Commission Capt. J.W. "Will" Fritz (Character) - 2003
No Score Yet 61% The King and Queen of Moonlight Bay Auggie Sinclair (Character) - 2003
No Score Yet No Score Yet Holding Out Hope George Calden (Character) - 2003
No Score Yet 12% National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation 2: Cousin Eddie's Island Adventure Uncle Nick (Character) - 2003
No Score Yet 50% The Man Who Saved Christmas Charles Gilbert (Character) - 2002
No Score Yet No Score Yet Fair Play Harry (Character) - 2002
No Score Yet No Score Yet Island Prey Jay Roth (Character) - 2001
30% 28% The Animal Chief Wilson (Character) $55.8M 2001
No Score Yet No Score Yet Bring Him Home Geza Horvath (Character) - 2000
No Score Yet 50% Perfect Game Coach Billy Hicks (Character) - 2000
No Score Yet 72% Common Ground Ira (Character) - 2000
No Score Yet No Score Yet Above Suspicion Thomas O'Claire (Character) - 2000
No Score Yet No Score Yet The Good War and Those Who Refused to Fight It Narrator - 2000
No Score Yet No Score Yet Tulsa Lynching of 1921: A Hidden Story Unknown (Character) - 2000
No Score Yet No Score Yet Becoming Dick Davis Aldrich (Character) - 2000
No Score Yet No Score Yet Gahan Wilson's The Kid Dead Cat (Voice) - 2000
No Score Yet No Score Yet Fumbleheads Charlie Atwater (Character) - 1999
No Score Yet 65% Our Friend, Martin Mr. Harris (Voice) - 1999
9% 28% The Bachelor Sid Gluckman (Character) $21.7M 1999
No Score Yet 54% Love and Action in Chicago Taylor (Character) - 1999
30% 34% Hard Rain Uncle Charlie (Character) $19.9M 1998
No Score Yet No Score Yet Fanatics Charlie Atwater (Character) - 1998
No Score Yet No Score Yet Dog's Best Friend Jeep (Character) - 1997
No Score Yet No Score Yet Christmas Carol Marley (Voice) - 1997
No Score Yet No Score Yet Payback Jack Patkanis (Character),
Executive Producer
- 1997
No Score Yet 80% Tell the Truth and Run: George Seldes and the American Press Narrator - 1996
No Score Yet 25% Bruno the Kid Engineer (Voice) - 1996
No Score Yet No Score Yet Goldilocks and the Three Bears Bruno (Character) - 1995
No Score Yet 67% Heads Ab Abbot (Character) - 1994
No Score Yet 87% Gargoyles, the Movie: The Heroes Awaken Unknown (Voice) - 1994
40% 52% Happily Ever After Scowl the Owl (Voice) $3.2M 1993
57% 76% Gypsy Pop (Character) - 1993
No Score Yet 71% Cruel Doubt Bill Osteen (Character) - 1992
No Score Yet 67% Beyond JFK: The Question of Conspiracy Unknown (Character) - 1992
84% 88% JFK Guy Bannister (Character) - 1991
No Score Yet 86% Yes, Virginia, There Is a Santa Claus Edward P. Mitchell (Character) - 1991
No Score Yet 87% Switched at Birth Ted Marx (Character) - 1991
No Score Yet No Score Yet Good Cops, Bad Cops Jake Quinn (Character) - 1990
No Score Yet No Score Yet Not a Penny More, Not a Penny Less Harvey Metcalfe (Character) - 1990
No Score Yet 100% A Friendship in Vienna Opah Oskar Reikman (Character) - 1988
42% 47% Moon Over Parador Himself (Character) $10.1M 1988
No Score Yet 56% Pinocchio and the Emperor of the Night Scalawag (Voice) $2.7M 1987
No Score Yet No Score Yet Cracked Up Rev. Vincent Owens (Character) - 1987
No Score Yet No Score Yet Kate's Secret Dr. Resnick (Character) - 1986
No Score Yet 62% The Christmas Star Horace McNickle (Character) - 1986
No Score Yet No Score Yet Vital Signs Matthew St James (Character) - 1986
No Score Yet No Score Yet Anatomy of an Illness Norman Cousins (Character) - 1984
No Score Yet No Score Yet A Case of Libel Robert Sloane (Character) - 1983
43% 56% Daniel Jacob Ascher (Character) - 1983
No Score Yet 29% O'Hara's Wife Bob O'Hara (Character) - 1982
No Score Yet No Score Yet A Small Killing Simon "Si" Shaber (Character) - 1981
86% 66% Fort Apache, the Bronx Connolly (Character) - 1981
No Score Yet No Score Yet The Family Man Eddie Madden (Character) - 1979
No Score Yet 77% The Gathering Adam (Character) - 1977
No Score Yet No Score Yet The Life and Assassination of the Kingfish Huey P. Long (Character) - 1977
No Score Yet No Score Yet Huey Long Huey P. Long (Character) - 1977
No Score Yet 59% Gus Hank Cooper (Character) - 1976
No Score Yet No Score Yet The Woman Who Cried Murder Peter Singleton (Character) - 1975
No Score Yet No Score Yet Hey, I'm Alive! Ralph Flores (Character) - 1975
No Score Yet No Score Yet The Impostor Barney West (Character) - 1975
No Score Yet No Score Yet The Impersonation Murder Case Det. Ed Ames (Character) - 1975
No Score Yet 80% Death Scream Peter Singleton (Character) - 1975
No Score Yet 20% The Wrestler Frank Boss (Character) - 1974
No Score Yet No Score Yet The Police Story Lt. Dave Blodgett (Character) - 1973
No Score Yet 61% The Girl Most Likely To... Det. Ralph Varone (Character) - 1973
No Score Yet 40% Haunts of the Very Rich Al Hunsicker (Character) - 1972
No Score Yet No Score Yet The Last Child Barstow (Character) - 1971
No Score Yet 54% Skin Game Plunkett (Character) - 1971
No Score Yet 33% They Call It Murder Chief Otto Larkin (Character) - 1971
No Score Yet No Score Yet Do Not Throw Cushions Into the Ring The Agent (Character) - 1970
No Score Yet No Score Yet The Old Man Who Cried Wolf Dr. Morheim (Character) - 1970
60% 36% They Call Me Mister Tibbs! Woody Garfield (Character) - 1970
No Score Yet 30% Halls of Anger Ernie McKay (Character) - 1969
10% 66% Change of Habit Lt. Moretti (Character) - 1969
No Score Yet No Score Yet Daughter of the Mind Saul Wiener (Character) - 1969
No Score Yet No Score Yet Gunn Lt. Jacoby (Character) - 1967
100% 87% El Dorado Bart Jason (Character) - 1967
No Score Yet 27% The Venetian Affair Frank Rosenfeld (Character) - 1967
No Score Yet 36% The Doomsday Flight Feldman (Character) - 1966
80% 75% The Slender Thread Det. Judd Ridley (Character) - 1965
50% 44% The Satan Bug Veretti (Character) - 1965
No Score Yet No Score Yet The Murder Men Dave Keller (Character) - 1961

TV

Credit
No Score Yet No Score Yet Royalties Papa (Character) 2020
78% 89% Briarpatch Unknown (Character) 2020
No Score Yet 89% Blue Bloods Chuck Kennedy (Guest Star) 2020
No Score Yet No Score Yet The Talk Guest 2020
85% 87% Modern Family Herschel (Guest Star) 2020
No Score Yet No Score Yet Home & Family Guest 2019
90% 91% Dead to Me Abe (Character) 2019
No Score Yet No Score Yet 50PlusPrime Guest 2019
No Score Yet No Score Yet Forgive Me Unknown (Character) 2018
94% 93% Cobra Kai Sid (Guest Star) 2018
No Score Yet 75% MacGyver Saul (Guest Star) 2018
No Score Yet No Score Yet Tavis Smiley Guest 2017 2015
No Score Yet No Score Yet Between the Lines With Barry Kibrick Guest 2017
90% 82% Bones Rufus Tucker (Guest Star) 2017
No Score Yet No Score Yet Stars in Shorts George (Character) 2016
No Score Yet 79% Sponge Bob Unknown (Guest Voice) 2016
No Score Yet No Score Yet Access Hollywood Live Guest 2016
No Score Yet No Score Yet Celebrity Family Feud Guest 2015
No Score Yet 87% Criminal Minds Unknown (Guest Star) 2015
94% 92% The Good Wife Guy Redmayne (Guest Star) 2015
75% 92% Chasing Life Artie Carver (Guest Star) 2014
No Score Yet 84% Mom Jack (Guest Star) 2014
8% 86% Men at Work Unknown (Guest Star) 2014
No Score Yet No Score Yet The Queen Latifah Show Guest 2013
54% 66% The Crazy Ones Mr. Finger (Guest Star) 2013
59% 82% The Glades Unknown (Guest Star) 2013
No Score Yet No Score Yet Betty White's Off Their Rockers Unknown (Guest Star) 2013
78% 93% Law & Order: Special Victims Unit Coach Martin Schultz (Guest Star) 2013
No Score Yet 71% Hawaii Five-0 Unknown (Guest Star) 2012
No Score Yet 78% Hot in Cleveland Jameson (Guest Star) 2012
No Score Yet 90% The Middle Ben (Guest Star) 2012
No Score Yet 62% The Cleveland Show Walter (Guest Voice) 2010-2011
94% 74% Royal Pains Ted Roth (Guest Star) 2011
No Score Yet 90% American Dad Grandpa Smith (Guest Voice) 2010-2011
No Score Yet No Score Yet Working Class Hank (Character) 2011
No Score Yet No Score Yet The Line Unknown (Character) 2009
No Score Yet No Score Yet Made in Hollywood Guest 2009
No Score Yet 91% CSI: New York Abraham Klein (Guest Star) 2009
92% No Score Yet Andy Barker, P.I. Unknown (Guest Star) 2007
74% 92% Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip Wilson White (Guest Star) 2006
0% No Score Yet Center of the Universe Art Barnett (Character) 2004-2005
No Score Yet No Score Yet The Practice Unknown (Guest Star) 2004 1997
No Score Yet 80% ER Dr. James McNulty (Guest Star) 2003
No Score Yet 73% Johnny Bravo Unknown (Guest Voice) 2002
No Score Yet 66% King of the Hill Unknown (Guest Voice) 2001-2002
No Score Yet No Score Yet Max Steel Unknown (Voice) 2000-2002
54% No Score Yet The Ellen Show Unknown (Guest Star) 2001
92% 95% Curb Your Enthusiasm Mr. Weiner (Guest Star) 2001
No Score Yet 62% Family Guy Steve Bellows (Guest Voice) 2001
No Score Yet No Score Yet The Wild Thornberrys Unknown (Guest Voice) 2001
No Score Yet No Score Yet Dharma & Greg Unknown (Guest Star) 2001
No Score Yet No Score Yet The Huntress Unknown (Guest Star) 2001
62% No Score Yet Arli$$ Unknown (Guest Star) 2000
No Score Yet No Score Yet Touched by an Angel Unknown (Guest Star) 2000
85% 77% The Simpsons Unknown (Guest Voice) 1999
75% 86% The X-Files Maurice (Guest Star) 1998
50% 82% The Closer Carl Dobson (Character) 1998
No Score Yet 91% Spider-Man Unknown (Voice) 1994-1998
0% No Score Yet Ask Harriet Unknown (Character) 1998
No Score Yet No Score Yet Soul Man Unknown (Guest Star) 1998
No Score Yet No Score Yet Dead Man's Gun Unknown (Character) 1997
No Score Yet No Score Yet Gargoyles: The Goliath Chronicles Hudson (Voice) 1996-1997
No Score Yet No Score Yet Mad About You Zigmund Klarik (Guest Star) 1996-1997
76% 68% Roseanne Lou Grant (Guest Star) 1996
No Score Yet No Score Yet Captain Planet and the Planeteers Hoggish Greedly (Guest Voice) 1993-1996
No Score Yet No Score Yet Thunder Alley Unknown (Character) 1995
96% No Score Yet Dinosaurs Evil Georgie (Guest Voice) 1994
50% No Score Yet Hearts Afire George Lahti (Character) 1992-1993
No Score Yet No Score Yet NOVA Narrator 1992
78% No Score Yet The Trials of Rosie O'Neill Walter Kovatch (Character) 1991-1992
No Score Yet No Score Yet The Bronx Zoo Principal Joe Danzig (Character) 1987-1988
No Score Yet No Score Yet Highway to Heaven Harold (Guest Star) 1986
No Score Yet No Score Yet Saturday Night Live Host 1984
No Score Yet No Score Yet Lou Grant Lou Grant (Character) 1977-1982
No Score Yet No Score Yet Norm Crosby's Comedy Shop Guest 1979
No Score Yet No Score Yet The Mary Tyler Moore Show Lou Grant (Character) 1970-1977
No Score Yet No Score Yet Rhoda Unknown (Guest Star) 1974
No Score Yet No Score Yet Police Story Lt. Dave Blodgett (Character) 1973-1974
No Score Yet No Score Yet Mod Squad Harry Loring (Guest Star) 1970-1972
No Score Yet No Score Yet Here Come the Brides Matt Balter (Guest Star) 1969
No Score Yet No Score Yet Name of the Game Unknown (Guest Star) 1969
No Score Yet No Score Yet The Wild, Wild West Unknown (Guest Star) 1968
No Score Yet No Score Yet Iron Horse Unknown (Guest Star) 1967
No Score Yet No Score Yet Judd for the Defense Unknown (Guest Star) 1967
No Score Yet No Score Yet The Girl From U.N.C.L.E. Unknown (Guest Star) 1967
No Score Yet No Score Yet The Fugitive Sheriff Mayhew (Guest Star) 1967 1965
No Score Yet No Score Yet The Felony Squad Barney Bradovich (Guest Star) 1966
No Score Yet No Score Yet Gunsmoke Sergeant Wilks (Guest Star) 1966 1964
No Score Yet No Score Yet Please Don't Eat the Daisies Unknown (Guest Star) 1966
No Score Yet No Score Yet A Man Called Shenandoah Unknown (Guest Star) 1965
No Score Yet No Score Yet Mr. Novak Unknown (Guest Star) 1965 1963
No Score Yet No Score Yet The Farmer's Daughter Chase (Guest Star) 1964
No Score Yet No Score Yet The Outer Limits Unknown (Character) 1963
No Score Yet No Score Yet The Lieutenant Unknown (Guest Star) 1963
No Score Yet No Score Yet Ben Casey Jerome Lynch (Guest Star) 1963
No Score Yet No Score Yet Dr. Kildare Unknown (Guest Star) 1963
No Score Yet No Score Yet Alfred Hitchcock Hour Unknown (Character) 1963
No Score Yet No Score Yet The Untouchables Unknown (Guest Star) 1962-1963
No Score Yet No Score Yet Route 66 Custody Officer Lincoln Peers (Guest Star) 1961-1962
No Score Yet No Score Yet Alfred Hitchcock Presents Unknown (Character) 1962
No Score Yet No Score Yet Westinghouse Summer Theatre Third Actor (Character) 1957

QUOTES FROM Edward Asner CHARACTERS

Carl Fredricksen says: [woke up]

Russell says: Uh, I thought you were dead.

Santa says: Sorry Buddy but ..... your dad is on the naughty list

Santa says: Sorry Buddy but... your dad is on the naughty list.

Buddy says: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Buddy says: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Russell says: can I come in sir?

Russell says: Can I come in sir?

Carl Fredricksen says: No! (serious and straight forward, closes door, a second passes) ok come in

Carl Fredricksen says: No! [serious and straight forward, closes door, a second passes] Okay come in.

Russell says: Can we keep him, please?

Carl Fredricksen says: No.

Russell says: But it's a TALKING DOG!

Carl Fredricksen says: So long boys! I'll send you a post card from Paradise Falls...

Carl Fredricksen says: So long, boys! I'll send you a postcard from Paradise Falls!

Carl Fredricksen says: So long boys! I'll send you a post card from Paradise Falls...

Russell says: (after Carl opened his front door) Good afternoon, my name is Russell. I am a Wilderness Explorer in Tribe 54, Sweat Lodge 12 , are you in any need of assistance today sir?

Russell says: [after Carl opened his front door] Good afternoon, my name is Russell. I am a Wilderness Explorer in Tribe 54, Sweat Lodge 12, are you in any need of assistance today sir?

Carl Fredricksen says: No.

Charles Muntz says: comon fredrickson spit it out

Charles Muntz says: Come on Fredricksen spit it out.

Carl Fredricksen says: (fredrickson spits false teeth at charles muntz)

Carl Fredricksen says: [Fredricksen spits false teeth at Charles Muntz]

Carl Fredricksen says: It's just a house.

Dug says: I can smell you!

Carl Fredricksen says: You can smell me?

Russell says: Good afternoon. Are you in need of any assistance today sir?

Carl Fredricksen says: No.

Russell says: I can help you cross the street.

Russell says: I can help you cross your porch?

Carl Fredricksen says: Look, why don't we play a game I know? Whoever is quietest for the longest time wins.

Russell says: Oh great! My mom loves that game!

Russell says: I found the snipe!

Carl Fredricksen says: Oh, did you?

Russell says: Are they tall?

Carl Fredricksen says: Oh, yes. They are very tall.

Russell says: Do they have a lot of colors?

Carl Fredricksen says: They do, indeed.

Russell says: Do they like chocolate?

Carl Fredricksen says: Oh, yeah... chocolate? (stares at Kevin) Aagh! What is that thing?

Carl Fredricksen says: Oh, yeah... chocolate? [stares at Kevin] Aagh! What is that thing?

Russell says: It's a snipe!

Carl Fredricksen says: So long, boys!

Carl Fredricksen says: Gah.

Russell says: Please let me in, sir.

Carl Fredricksen says: No. (shuts door)

Carl Fredricksen says: No. [shuts door]

Carl Fredricksen says: (opens door) Oh, alright.

Carl Fredricksen says: [opens door] Oh, alright.

Carl Fredricksen says: Tell your boss he can *have* my house.

Construction Foreman Tom says: Really?

Carl Fredricksen says: Yeah. When I'm dead!

Russell says: You were talking to a rock. Hey! That one looks like a turtle. And that one looks like a dog!

Russell says: WOAH! It is a dog!

Carl Fredricksen says: We have your dog!

Russell says: We're not allowed to have dogs in my apartment Mr. Fredricksen...hey. I like dogs!

Carl Fredricksen says: I wonder who he belongs to.

Russell says: Sit! Hey look! He's trained! Shake! Uh huh...speak!

Dug says: Hi there.

Russell says: Good afternoon. Are you in need of any assistance today, sir?

Carl Fredricksen says: No.

Russell says: I could help you cross the street.

Russell says: I could help you cross your yard.

Russell says: I could help you cross your porch.

Carl Fredricksen says: No! [closes the door on Russell's foot]

Russell says: Ow.

Russell says: Can we keep him, please please pleeease???

Russell says: [Kevin screeches] Can we keep him? Please, please, please?

Carl Fredricksen says: No!

Russell says: But it's a talking DOG!

Russell says: But it's a TALKING DOG!

Carl Fredricksen says: Let's play a game. It's called "See Who Can Be Quiet The Longest."

Carl Fredricksen says: Hey, let's play a game. It's called 'see who can be quiet the longest.'

Russell says: Cool! My Mom loves that game!

Carl Fredricksen says: I think that did the trick.

Dug says: Hi master.

Carl Fredricksen says: Afternoon.

Carl Fredricksen says: I am nobody's master got it!

Carl Fredricksen says: I am nobody's master, got it?

Carl Fredricksen says: [points at Dug with cane] I don't want you here! [points at Kevin] and I don't want you here!

Carl Fredricksen says: [Points at Dug with cane] I don't want you here!

Carl Fredricksen says: [Points at Kevin] and I don't want you here!

Russell says: can I tell you a secret?

Russell says: Can I tell you a secret?

Carl Fredricksen says: No.

Russell says: Alright, here it goes

Russell says: Alright, here it goes.