Mary Poppins Returns
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This sort-of cult classic has several main reasons for its continued success and several sequels. The preeminent reason, of course, is boobs, or more specifically a large amount of female nudity. No one likes this film, and if they actually do, it's probably for that one, shallow reason. The film is definitely more parodist than anything, because there are a lot of moments of unintentional hilarity throughout this film. It also feels more like a parody than an actual action film, and that is attributed to the lesser effects and obvious dispassion towards the production. The direction is lazy, the script doesn't even matter to the grand scheme of the entire film, and the actors obviously don't care. The women in this film actually look as if they're trying to get through the film with whatever small amount of dignity they can, but otherwise there isn't any concern for legitimate acting in this film. The plot runs like Dungeons and Dragons fan fiction throughout, yet there is no honor to the male characters. Even the hero is guilty of some serious crimes against women, and the rest of the men are shown as slobbering dullards who often rape, pillage, and drool. It's not exactly horrifying to see the state of women in this film, because it's definitely an unapologetic film. The one thing that saves this film is that the film makers are obviously not being serious with the source material. If this hadn't been a low budgeted indie film that was trying to reel in the lowest common denominator than outrage would be the appropriate emotion towards this film. Is the film actually enjoyable? I would say in small doses it isn't a horrible film, but it's also very distracting to see all these naked women nearly raped onscreen. There aren't even little stupid things to laugh at, only these meatheads trolling around onscreen, mashing each other's faces in. If you're curious though, it does have some of the same appeal as "Barbarella" without any of that pesky plot, so if interested go nuts.
Hot on the heels of the Arnie vehicle 'Conan' came this Argentine-American production which quite blatantly jumps on that very same bandwagon.
In all fairness this isn't as bad as you might think. Despite being an obvious excuse to see females topless, a Playboy model as a brutal topless female barbarian, mud wrestling females, enslaved females, thongs galore and the obligatory barbarian sex scenes...there is some natty action to be had.
Cheesy plot you say? errrr yeah just a bit, no need to fill you in, just think of any swords n sorcery films. The main hero is played by Rick Hill and his blonde wig, very nice it is too, but he does look pretty sturdy I'll give him that. Bernard Erhard plays the rather generic evil bald sorcerer with goatee, but his approach is nice and hammy, clearly relishing the role. Dunno what that tattoo on his head is all about.
So not much happens really, the final fight to the death warrior competition is probably the best sequence with reasonable fighting going on. The rest is forgettable apart from the sequence in the castle with all the topless girls, but hearing Hill reel of his dialog is quite good fun.
The films title and poster are far more interesting than the final product. The poster actually has nothing to do with the film in any way really, its just there to lure you in I think. Low budget and camp, if it wasn't for the small amounts of blood and large amounts of tits on show it could almost be an Adam West vehicle.
It's like some kind of World of Warcraft fan made film. The quality, the content, it is all God awful but damn hilarious. Most of the time it seems like a parody, stick Charlie Sheen in the lead and it would have been one of the best films ever made. Funny how things work out. The puppets all look as though they were saved from a Halloween bargain bin, the sets are obviously all Styrofoam and as for the acting...that's mostly confusing. Every woman, when touched, has her clothes fall off. It's a good 80 minutes for a drunken laugh, especially the evil sorcerer turning a henchman into a woman.
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