Jupiter Ascending Reviews

Page 1 of 3
February 26, 2015
Where were the Guardians of the Galaxy when we needed them? If only they had prevented the disastrous atrocity that is "Jupiter Ascending" from infiltrating Earth's movie theaters before it was too late!
February 10, 2015
A lot of people spent a lot of time and a lot of money making a lot of movie, but there's not much there.
February 9, 2015
The Wachowskis create a churning, swooping C.G.I. universe that's decorated to the corners of the frame without taste or imagination.
February 6, 2015
Don't even get me started on the aliens, many of whom would have been turned away from the cantina door in Mos Eisley.
February 6, 2015
Jupiter Ascending is inane from first frame to last - the dialogue is so clunky, I wondered if George Lucas had been brought in to do the rewrite.
February 6, 2015
Upon exiting, my wearied delight with Jupiter Ascending coexisted with pure bafflement. But I exited knowing that I'd seen a movie no other filmmaker could have made.
February 6, 2015
This sci-fi-inflected fantasy has many a wince-worthy romantic exchange between stars Channing Tatum and Mila Kunis.
February 6, 2015
This movie often plays like a super-expensive, 21st-century version of one of those "Star Wars" knockoffs made around 1980 by people who weren't George Lucas.
February 6, 2015
Jupiter Ascending's early cleverness dries up quickly, especially when Kunis is offscreen, leaving us with just another incoherent sci-fi spectacle.
February 6, 2015
This kind of pandering FX padding, unnurtured by humor or heart, is what shifts Jupiter Ascending from a shambles to a fiasco. The Wachowskis wind up where you never expected to find them creatively: on the ropes.
February 6, 2015
A beautiful muddle from The Matrix-making Wachowski siblings.
February 6, 2015
A big, woozy, spacey fairy tale with a science-fiction exoskeleton and a core of pure mush.
February 6, 2015
"Technically, I'm an alien," Mila Kunis voice-overs, by way of introduction to this epically kitschy space opera ...
February 5, 2015
A grab-bag of things Wachowski, Jupiter Ascending is short of anything new. On its own terms, it's an entertaining action film that doesn't overstay its welcome. But it's less than we expected.
February 5, 2015
The universe that the writers-directors have created is so numbingly complex that keeping track of what is going on can cause headaches.
February 5, 2015
This unwieldy space opera is huge in scale and spectacle but thin on story.
February 5, 2015
A movie so jaw-droppingly awful that you can't wait to see what happens next (and that was without the use of mood-altering substances on my part).
February 5, 2015
Jupiter Ascending unfolds as a mostly entertaining mess, a cosmic soup of baroque grandeur that the Wachowskis swim happily through, even if few others will.
February 5, 2015
I enjoyed this movie more than the last two films from the Wachowskis, the interminable Cloud Atlas and Speed Racer. On the other hand, "The Matrix" it's not.
February 5, 2015
Watching Jupiter Ascending is like reading a menu of genre munchies at a drive-thru "B" movie burger stand.
Page 1 of 3