Mr. Garrison decides that it's time to get a new look and gets a nose job, making him appear indentitcal to David Hasselhoff. While he is out, the class gets a substitute teacher, whose voice is provided by "that chick from Species." The boys fall head over heals for their new teacher, which upsets Wendy, who is no longer receiving the kind of attention from Stan that she's used to. Chef also has his eye on the substitute, but is disappointed to find out that she "licks carpet." Eventually, after being harrassed by too many women, Mr. Garrison gets his old nose back, and Wendy has the substitute shot into the sun.