Brian Juergens

Agrees with the Tomatometer 76% of the time.

A critic for horror site, general film site, gay horror site, and columnist for women's horror site, Brian has his hands in all sorts of pies, most of them bloody. A filmmaker, writer, and mediaphile, Brian loves films of all sorts, unless they're bad. He lives in NYC.
Publications: , Bloody Disgusting , , Freeze Dried Movies , The Backlot
Critics' Group:
Online Film Critics Society
Total Reviews:
Total QuickRatings:
New York City

Listing Of All Reviews & Articles

Showing 1 - 50 of 293
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Rating T-Meter Title | Year Add Date
5/10 33% A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014) " Tumbleweeds literally blow between the laughs of this lackluster comedy." — The Backlot
Posted May 30, 2014
7/10 73% Neighbors (2014) " This frat comedy is just as profane and fluid-filled as the great popped-collar romps of yore; the absence of queasiness about affection between men makes it decidedly modern." — The Backlot
Posted May 9, 2014
34% Stage Fright (2014) " If you check out Stage Fright looking for a fun, smart mashup of Glee and Scream, you'll likely be slayed by its charm." — The Backlot
Posted Apr 28, 2014
8/10 93% Dallas Buyers Club (2013) " Though a spotty second half reveals its limitations, this story of one man's crusade against the virus soars thanks to the stellar performances of its two leads." —
Posted Dec 4, 2013
8/10 92% Philomena (2013) " An amiable and quietly infuriating true-life drama cut from the same durable cloth as its exceptional central character." —
Posted Nov 23, 2013
7/10 82% G.B.F. (2014) " A smart and frothy teen farce for anyone who has ever felt that the flag they've been waving has wrapped itself around their throat and is cutting off their air supply." —
Posted Nov 23, 2013
9/10 97% Gravity (2013) " A gonzo, gorgeous, brilliantly executed nightmare of a film." —
Posted Oct 4, 2013
8/10 81% Don Jon (2013) " Gordon-Levitt has delivered a lively, timely, and decidedly adult look at love and sex that is both uncommonly mature for a first-time director and very fresh." —
Posted Sep 30, 2013
7/10 69% The Happy Sad (2013) " It may have the trappings of your everyday NYC indie, but it stands apart for exploring love and lust in a world where sexuality and race aren't the sources of the drama." —
Posted Aug 16, 2013
2/10 24% The Canyons (2013) " This dud is too busy pointing fingers at the people it thinks are ruining Hollywood to realize that the dream factory goes down one bad movie at a time - including this one." —
Posted Aug 2, 2013
8/10 86% The Conjuring (2013) " It never met a haunted house cliche it didn't like, but Wan mercilessly piles on the uncanny events, gradually escalating the pitch from creepy to freaky to utterly bananas." —
Posted Jul 18, 2013
7/10 72% Pacific Rim (2013) " By no means a jaegerbomb, but not the TKO some of us may have expected from our beloved visionary. Adjust expectations and enjoy the big, dumb brawl." —
Posted Jul 12, 2013
9/10 83% Laurence Anyways (2013) " This frequently brilliant epic does more than make us understand the challenges faced by trans people and those who love them - it makes us feel those challenges ourselves." —
Posted Jun 28, 2013
8/10 98% Call Me Kuchu (2013) " A heartbreaking portrait, a brutal wake-up call and a testament to how the actions of a few brave souls can create change." —
Posted Jun 14, 2013
7/10 56% Man of Steel (2013) " Part Superman, part Superman II, part Thor and part Dieux du Stade calendar shoot" —
Posted Jun 13, 2013
4/10 49% The Great Gatsby (2013) " A bug-eyed, elbows-akimbo art deco migraine that gives one the horrifying sensation of being trapped at a theme party thrown on a cruise ship." —
Posted May 9, 2013
8/10 62% Evil Dead (2013) " The most fun I've had all year trying not to vomit." —
Posted Apr 2, 2013
6/10 52% Jack the Giant Slayer (2013) " While it's no classic, casual fans of well-staged action, decently-rendered CGI, and stature-indiscriminate sausage parties might want to check it out." —
Posted Mar 1, 2013
7/10 65% Mama (2013) " At long last, Vicki Lawrence is robbed of her title of Most Terrifying Mama - though it stumbles in its final scenes, this slow-burn creepfest offers a few fresh scares." —
Posted Jan 17, 2013
5/10 38% The Guilt Trip (2012) " While doting mothers may go for its gentle, corny brand of apron string S&M, there's not much there for the rest of us to enjoy. " —
Posted Dec 19, 2012
6/10 64% The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012) " While the 48fps reads very much as "American soap opera" in the early scenes, it's quite effective in the rousing, vertigo-laced action sequences. Messy, but worth a look." —
Posted Dec 14, 2012
7/10 66% Cloud Atlas (2012) " This is not a movie, it is a manifesto. A gonzo, breathtaking, and deeply humane celebration of the underserved, the undervalued, and the oppressed." —
Posted Oct 25, 2012
8/10 90% Gayby (2012) " A fresh, breezy take on modern gay life and platonic love delivered with disarming enthusiasm and genuine wit. " —
Posted Oct 10, 2012
9/10 99% How to Survive a Plague (2012) " This astonishing assemblage of archive material from the ground zero of the AIDS crisis is more than a history lesson - it is a rousing, essential study of human survival. " —
Posted Sep 17, 2012
7/10 80% Magic Mike (2012) " A breezy, slyly noncholant romp through the world of male strip revue. The bold men of Mike leave it on the floor ... and by "it" I mean "your panties"." —
Posted Jun 27, 2012
9/10 96% In the Family (2012) " More than just a carefully-crafted exercise in naturalism and restraint - Family is a beautiful, bold, and staggeringly moving film." —
Posted Jun 22, 2012
7/10 28% Struck by Lightning (2013) " An unexpectedly serious-minded comedy that sets itself apart from other teen fare by tackling adolescent ambition without the safety net of irony or sarcasm." —
Posted May 18, 2012
4/10 37% Dark Shadows (2012) " By refusing to go either full-on melodrama or pure sendup, they've sentenced the original show's characters to an eternity of being upstaged by ugly lampshades. " —
Posted May 18, 2012
7/10 34% Battleship (2012) " A deafening, seizure-inducing, patently ridiculous full-length military ad co-directed by Michael Bay and a trash compactor. Worst of all, it's also a hell of a lot of fun." —
Posted May 18, 2012
6/10 63% Going Down In La-la Land (2012) " Going Down doesn't stray far from the Hollywood Cautionary Tale formula - but credit for making a downward spiral feel as gritty as a mid-afternoon trip to Pinkberry." —
Posted Apr 20, 2012
6/10 51% The Iron Lady (2012) " As a biography, it's a ridiculous mess - but as entertainment, this bizarre jukebox biopic built around the expectedly brilliant Streep is a qualified guilty pleasure." —
Posted Jan 13, 2012
7/10 71% Carnage (2011) " Thanks to a few nice comic turns and a crisp final 10 minutes, this comedy of bad manners just barely manages to rise above its own calculated chaos." —
Posted Dec 16, 2011
0/10 7% New Year's Eve (2011) " NYE, the #1 reason I hate you is because I'm going to look like a total a**hole when I have to admit to my mother that yes, I saw you, and I thought you were terrible. " —
Posted Dec 9, 2011
6/10 79% Shame (2011) " A handsome movie about a handsome guy with serious issues and a Platinum card. It's kind of like American Psycho without the body count. (Or the sense of humor.)" —
Posted Dec 2, 2011
8/10 95% Making the Boys (2010) " An entertaining and compelling reason to either reconsider the polarizing work or to experience it for the first time with due regard for its original context." —
Posted Nov 22, 2011
8/10 84% My Week with Marilyn (2011) " Williams' captivating performance generates the unearthly glow of something too beautiful and too fragile to grasp. It also may have knocked a few points off my Kinsey rating." —
Posted Nov 18, 2011
5/10 43% J. Edgar (2011) " Two hours spent with the man are such a chore that it's hard to imagine why lifelong confidants Tolson and Gandy suffered his toxic, rapid-fire company for entire decades." —
Posted Nov 11, 2011
5/10 68% A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas (2011) " Would it be too much to ask for an all-NPH spinoff? I think he's more than earned it. Otherwise, definitely an improvement over the abysmal Guantanamo installment." —
Posted Nov 4, 2011
1/10 30% The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) (2011) " Cheap, repetitive, and dull. It's like being forced to watch the same Three Stooges gag over and over until someone finally farts in your face and lets you go home." —
Posted Oct 7, 2011
8/10 84% Tucker & Dale vs Evil (2011) " While its subversion of the well-worn "hillbilly horror" genre may be a one-note gag, that note is played pretty durn well. A clever, bloody, and unexpectedly sweet romp." —
Posted Sep 29, 2011
8/10 73% Night of the Eagle (Burn, Witch, Burn! ) (1962) " An odd, stylish, and completely absorbing witchcraft-in-the-suburbs oddity that puts hexes into the hands of academics and university wives." —
Posted Sep 9, 2011
4/10 17% Shark Night 3D (2011) " How delicious would it be if we were to look back and find that the current lousy 3D trend "jumped the shark" with a film that actually features jumping sharks?" —
Posted Sep 6, 2011
5/10 58% Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark (2011) " If you aren't generally scared by CGI goblins who whisper a lot, the title's warning is sadly unneeded - you won't be afraid of Don't Be Afraid of the Dark." —
Posted Aug 25, 2011
6/10 61% Final Destination 5 (2011) " Thanks to solid suspense and a clever resolution, FD5 is more fun than watching household objects conspire to brutally murder disaaster survivors (in 3D!) has any right to be." —
Posted Aug 11, 2011
9/10 90% Attack the Block (2011) " That the film treats marginalized youths with real respect while delivering such a raucous and inventive spin on horror comedy is the most welcome kind of cinematic miracle." —
Posted Jul 28, 2011
8/10 96% Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 2 (2011) " That both the beloved characters and the film series itself manage to emerge victorious from the fray after over 10 years is truly something to celebrate." —
Posted Jul 14, 2011
7/10 69% Horrible Bosses (2011) " It may be 9 to 5 stripped of its feminist bite and much of its dark potential, but it's still a fun ride through the sketchier neighborhoods of the working man's mind." —
Posted Jul 7, 2011
8/10 79% Non si deve profanare il sonno dei morti (Let Sleeping Corpses Lie) (Don't Open the Window) (1974) " Scenic settings, guts, and a residual contact high from the counterculture movement converge in one of the zombie genre's most unique and enjoyable entries." —
Posted Jun 22, 2011
5/10 26% Green Lantern (2011) " Reynolds is a charismatic lead, but the filmmakers miss the mark by making all the outer space stuff seem cartoony and the story on Earth cornball and dull. " —
Posted Jun 16, 2011
7/10 82% Super 8 (2011) " If you grew up a horror nut in the Midwest, Super 8 might feel like a missing page from your childhood. And if not, well ... that train crash is still pretty mint." —
Posted Jun 13, 2011
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