Critics » Frank Ochieng » Rotten
Frank Ochieng

Frank Ochieng

""Just a man with a man's courage, you know...just a man who can never fail. So pure the heart as to find the golden gale..ohhhhhh" --from the opening theme to the motion picture "Flash Gordon" (1980) "A man has got to know his limitations" --Dirty Harry Callahan"

Agrees with the Tomatometer 90% of the time.

Biography:
Biography: Online film critic Frank Ochieng has been devoted to writing and discussing film over the last several years. An avid observer of pop culture whose passion lies in the medium of film and television, Ochieng has been involved in the aspects of media in the Boston-area for quite some time. Ochieng has also contributed film reviews and other miscellaneous movie material to other Internet outlets such as The Internet Movie Database (www.IMDB.com) via newsgroup participation, TheWorldJournal.com, MovieEye.com, Stephen Hunt's SF Crownsnest.com, World Voice News, Associated Content and filmcritic.com...just to name a few venues. Ochieng belongs to online critic circles such as The Online Film Critics Society, The Internet Film Critic Society, and The Internet Entertainment Writers Association. Aside from his online film credentials, Ochieng functioned as a co-editor/contributing writer/film critic for his fanzine publication The Voicemakers (1997-2003). He had made occasional appearances as a media critic/commentator for WMWM 91.7 FM college radio's "The Juke Joint" based out of Salem, Massachusetts as well as frequently guesting on Boston's WBZ Radio 1030 AM's "The Jordan Rich Show" in the "Movie/TV Night" segments (October 2003-present). Also, he previously co-produced and co-hosted his movie review access cable TV show called The Evaluators. Past endeavors include co-hosting cable TV shows such as Trivia Live! (Warner Cable, 1988) and Time To Review (1988-89). He has also previously contributed film reviews to print fanzines Raccoon Times (1996-98) and VGT Online Magazine (1998). From January 2005 to March 2007, Ochieng had written film reviews for the independent urban newspaper "The Boston Banner". Interestingly, he has been featured in such book publications as "Spike Lee: Film 14 (Bertz + Fischer, November 2006) and quoted in "Independent Film Distribution: How to Make a Successful End Run Around the Big Guys" (Michael Wiese Productions, November 2006). Ochieng continues to write film reviews and is an ardent media junkie. He is a proud 1989 graduate of Suffolk University in Boston, Massachusetts.
Favorites:
Frank's all-time favorite films: To Kill A Mockingbird, In the Heat Of The Night, M*A*S*H, Shaft, The Deer Hunter, Dog Day Afternoon, Scarface, A Soldier's Story, The Color Purple, Pulp Fiction, Midnight Cowboy Frank's favorite underappreciated films: Best Seller, Antonia's Line, At Close Range, Get On The Bus, The Cable Guy, Election, Time Bandits Frank's favorite disturbing performances by actors that should have copped the Academy Award: Ralph Fiennes in "Schindler's List", Danny Glover in "The Color Purple", Christopher Walken in "At Close Range", James Woods in "Best Seller", Sean Penn in "Calito's Way", Samuel L. Jackson for both "Pulp Fiction" and "Jungle Fever"
Publications:
Associated Content , Filmcritic.com , Movie Eye , rec.arts.movies.reviews , TheWorldJournal.com , World Voice News
Total Reviews:
930
Total QuickRatings:
133
Location:
Based in Massachusetts (USA)

Worst Reviewed Films

Showing 1 - 50 of 910
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Rating T-Meter Title | Year Add Date
F 8% Kangaroo Jack (2003) " If it sounds bad, that's because it is, but reading about it can't even come close to the experience of actually watching it." — Movie Eye
Posted Jan 19, 2003
D- 51% In Praise Of Love (Éloge de l'amour) (2002) " Gone are the days of an exciting existentialist movie mastermind who once knew how to stroke the consciousness of the enthusiastically challenged, adventurous moviegoer." — Movie Eye
Posted Jan 15, 2003
1/5 5% Delta Farce (2007) " ...a surefire reassurance that war is indeed hell...another prime example of ingenuity involving a box of crayons and someone's desperate idea for quick-witted lunacy." — Movie Eye
Posted May 20, 2007
1/5 0% It's Pat (1994) " Which is more confusing...Pat's questionable gender or this dud's attempt to force a chuckle from our incredulous faces?" — Movie Eye
Posted Jan 20, 2006
1/5 14% Almost Heroes (1998) " A forgettable farce with no flavor...utterly flaccid and foolish. It wastes the comedic capabilities of Farley and Perry who deserve much better" — TheWorldJournal.com
Posted Jun 24, 2004
1/5 8% An Alan Smithee Film: Burn, Hollywood, Burn (1998) " A desperate and disjointed farce that flops considerably. This satirical sabotage on the moviemaking industry is an incoherent and unfunny abomination" — Movie Eye
Posted May 27, 2003
1/5 13% The Super Mario Bros. (1990) " Super Mario Bros. is about as playful and challenging as an unplugged pinball machine." — Movie Eye
Posted May 27, 2003
1/5 2% Baby Geniuses (1999) " A kiddie comedy that's about as entertaining as treating diaper rash" — Movie Eye
Posted May 21, 2003
1/5 21% Jason X (2002) " Isaac brings back the slaughtering cad under new circumstances although the results remain old...maybe he'll cut his own miserable hockey-masked head off therefore sparing us the inevitable development of Jason XI: The Slaying Stupidity Continues!." — Movie Eye
Posted Apr 28, 2002
1/4 14% Dragonball Evolution (2009) " Wong's noxious narrative is nothing more than a hyperactive hackjob that may appease some 10-year old boy grasping his Jackie Chan action figure. [A] cobbled-together canker soar of a fantasy" — Movie Eye
Posted Apr 12, 2009
1/4 14% My Best Friend's Girl (2008) " Raunchy and wretched...profoundly unfunny and sophomoric sludge...meaningless material that wouldn't be suitable for lining your pet parrot's birdcage." — Movie Eye
Posted Sep 23, 2008
1/4 2% Disaster Movie (2008) " Pointlessly rancid and redundant...Hopefully, Disaster Movie will indeed vanish as quickly as a three-second burp at a chili-eating contest." — Movie Eye
Posted Sep 8, 2008
1/4 14% The Love Guru (2008) " The Love Guru is creatively awful. The feeling you derive from this dud is comparable to swallowing a bottle of bulky Viagra pills while nursing an inflamed strep throat." — Movie Eye
Posted Jun 19, 2008
1/4 6% Full of It (2007) " [A] prepubescent piece of piffle in comparison to a hearty belch--it's obnoxious, loud, smelly then soon will disappear into the thin air." — Movie Eye
Posted Mar 6, 2007
1/4 10% The Grudge 2 (2006) " Consequently, The Grudge 2 is ruthlessly uneventful and as generically scary as stale pumpkin pie two weeks removed from a sedate Halloween party." — Movie Eye
Posted Oct 19, 2006
1/4 3% The Covenant (2006) " This sophomoric supernatural stinker couldn't put a convincing spell on a disabled frog. The Covenant has all the intriguing mysticism of a bent magic wand." — Movie Eye
Posted Sep 10, 2006
1/4 3% Zoom (2006) " Infantile, unfocused and dreadfully inept, Zoom is badly conceived...a totally faceless fable that strains for enlightenment but merely ends up as disastrous diversion" — Movie Eye
Posted Aug 22, 2006
1/4 12% Little Man (2006) " [The Wayanses] collaborate on another forgettable farce drenched in vapid vulgarity...[a] pea-brained prank. Anyone game for White Chicks II?" — Movie Eye
Posted Jul 23, 2006
1/4 11% Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties (2006) " It's too bad that curiosity didn't kill this particular cat. However, the rest of us will find more stimulating time mindlessly playing with a ball of yarn." — Movie Eye
Posted Jun 30, 2006
1.5 35% The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (2006) " Another vapid actioner involving smoking wheels and women...Tokyo Drift doesn't burn its rubber very convincingly." — Movie Eye
Posted Jun 28, 2006
1/4 33% Click (2006) " [A] painfully generic and gimmicky comedy. Relentlessly interminable, predictable and drowsy in concept. Sandler's man-child routine has already run its course ad nauseam." — Movie Eye
Posted Jun 27, 2006
1/4 13% Just My Luck (2006) " Slight, pointless and convincingly witless. Lohan's cinematic Luck runs out instantaneously...[this] convoluted comical piece is as lucky as a mutilated 2-leaf clover" — Movie Eye
Posted May 14, 2006
1/4 11% The Benchwarmers (2006) " The Benchwarmers is basically another dreadful and repetitive sophomoric session of misplaced potty humor that has all the devilish ingenuity of a corked baseball bat." — Movie Eye
Posted Apr 9, 2006
1/4 7% Basic Instinct 2 (2006) " ...a relentlessly cheesy, over-the-top sexual thriller that has all the provocative luster of an inner thigh rash...[a] botched, stillborn psychological fable." — Movie Eye
Posted Apr 2, 2006
1/4 14% In the Mix (2005) " [A] dreadful romantic gangland drama...In The Mix is an on-screen, vapid Valentine's Day card to Usher's professional ego and the giddy-minded skirts." — Movie Eye
Posted Nov 26, 2005
1/4 4% Dirty Love (2005) " Dreadfully lacking...about as awkwardly received as a training bra on Anna Nicole Smith's bouncy bosom...a cheap-minded farce aimed at the lowest common denominator" — Movie Eye
Posted Sep 26, 2005
1.5 5% The Perfect Man (2005) " Inherently mawkish, simplistic and exceedingly numbing, this movie is woefully incomplete-much like a stale Twinkie treat without the creamy filling inside." — Movie Eye
Posted Jun 17, 2005
1/4 1% Alone in the Dark (2005) " Woefully murky and meaningless...The world's most durable and heavy duty flashlight couldn't bring an ounce of brightness to the underwhelming Alone in the Dark" — Movie Eye
Posted Jan 30, 2005
1/4 5% The Cookout (2004) " ...a taxing and intolerable vehicle that has all the charm of a gold-toothed rapper's root canal. The Cookout is certainly not any food for thought." — TheWorldJournal.com
Posted Jan 19, 2005
1/4 5% Christmas with the Kranks (2004) " ...one of the most woefully irritating and uneventful so-called comedic Yuletide yawners...a seedless slapstick romp that has all the bounce of a defective pogo stick" — Movie Eye
Posted Nov 25, 2004
1/4 15% Raise Your Voice (2004) " In watching the anemically manipulative Raise Your Voice, one wouldn't mind calling for a touch of well-needed laryngitis." — Movie Eye
Posted Oct 30, 2004
1/4 0% Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (2004) " Clark's CGI-induced rugrat romp is about as inspiring in its hilarity as a diaper rash. Exceedingly nonsensical and...excuse the intended pun-infantile" — Movie Eye
Posted Sep 19, 2004
1/4 18% Soul Plane (2004) " ...a hideous hip hop spoof of the most disposable kind. This is the worst kind of racial rubbish suited appropriately for the barf bag." — Movie Eye
Posted Jun 3, 2004
1/4 11% New York Minute (2004) " ...a misguided vanity piece for the twin teenyboppers. Shockingly, this is one pronounced slab of pre-adolescent pabulum at its finest...or at its worst-simply take your pick" — Movie Eye
Posted May 8, 2004
1/4 9% Marci X (2003) " ...a tremendously clumsy and disastrous dud for the ages...a staggeringly inept romp that plays like stale fodder in a nostalgic Luther Campbell/2Live Crew home movie." — Movie Eye
Posted Aug 26, 2003
1/4 9% My Boss's Daughter (2003) " My Boss's Daughter is another generically sloppy and dismal chuckle session that doesn't have any clue whatsoever as to why its torturous funnybone is about as amusing as a mugging in the city's red light district." — Movie Eye
Posted Aug 23, 2003
1/4 10% Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003) " ...one of the most rancid disappointments ever to be hatched as an intentional piece of flavorless entertainment. Undoubtedly, this dispiriting dreck has all the allure of a pepperoni-induced burp." — Movie Eye
Posted Jun 13, 2003
1/4 5% Swept Away (2002) " Whenever you agree that there's more credibility in spotting a flying donkey with the hiccups rather than believing in an effective Madonna-hired acting coach, then you definitely earned the license to go with your first instinct." — TheWorldJournal.com
Posted Feb 3, 2003
1/4 10% Darkness Falls (2003) " 'Director Jonathan Liebesman helms a ridiculously familiar and arbitrary cheesy horror tale that doesn't effectively challenge the simple conventions of the fright genre.'" — Movie Eye
Posted Jan 30, 2003
1/4 48% Jackass - The Movie (2002) " To say that this vapid vehicle is downright doltish and uneventful is just as obvious as telling a country skunk that he has severe body odor." — Movie Eye
Posted Oct 27, 2002
1/4 5% The Adventures of Pluto Nash (2002) " The Adventures of Pluto Nash is an inane, tacky and stultifying experience for anyone to endure. Gee, talking about a meteoric miscalculation! What did you ever do to deserve this idiotic rocket-sized ruse?" — Movie Eye
Posted Aug 18, 2002
1/4 49% Human Nature (2002) " Director Michel Gondry's satire on the "beast in us all" is too pretentious and tedious for us to take as a wry, frothy entertainment. Despite the overload of quirkiness instilled in Kaufman's spotty script, Human Nature is an awkward and tired mes" — Movie Eye
Posted Apr 21, 2002
1/4 11% Kung Pow! Enter the Fist (2002) " Kung Pow seems like some futile concoction that was developed hastily after Oedekerk and his fellow moviemakers got through crashing a college keg party." — Movie Eye
Posted Mar 4, 2002
1/4 2% Texas Rangers (2001) " Texas Rangers is a generic, gun-toting fable -- a dull, laughable cactus costume drama that has no significant appeal to it other than to boast the empty machismo antics of its leads." — Movie Eye
Posted Mar 4, 2002
1/4 7% Glitter (2001) " If poor Mariah Carey suffered a well-publicized breakdown prior to the release of this disposable display, imagine what she'll feel like to learn that she may have appeared in one of the worst ill-advised pointless flicks of the year." — Movie Eye
Posted Mar 4, 2002
1/4 3% Rollerball (2002) " Who's in the mood to play games with Rollerball, an insipid and excitable mindless sports fantasy that rolls over your cinematic senses in incomplete, boisterous fashion?" — Movie Eye
Posted Mar 4, 2002
1/4 13% B.A.P.S. (1997) " This film has no direction or redeeming qualities other than being offensive, aimless, and having its young black female leads all dressed up in silly garb with no place to go. B.A.P.S: Beware of Asinine Picture that Stinks!!!" — rec.arts.movies.reviews
Posted Jan 1, 2000
1.5/5 44% Trouble Every Day (Gargoyle) (2001) " An awkwardly garish showcase that diverges from anything remotely probing or penetrating." — Filmcritic.com
Posted Feb 26, 2002
1.5/5 21% Baise-Moi (2000) — Filmcritic.com
Posted Dec 4, 2001
1.5/5 8% The Wash (2001) " What could have been a delicious hoot about dysfunctional dynamics in a disillusioned workplace merely ends up as a woeful, clunky comedy of errors." — Filmcritic.com
Posted Nov 19, 2001
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