Jesse Hassenger

Jesse Hassenger

Agrees with the Tomatometer 78% of the time.

Listing Of All Reviews & Articles

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Showing 1 - 50 of 350
Rating T-Meter Title | Year Review
C 53% The Age of Adaline (2015) " For a movie that emulates literature, The Age Of Adaline never fits comfortably into a particular form-literary or cinematic. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Apr 23, 2015
C- 4% Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015) " Maybe Paul Blart isn't spoofing John McClane after all; maybe these movies are actually too stupid to realize what they're imitating. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Apr 20, 2015
D 9% Kill Me Three Times (2015) " It's too listless to even qualify as a proper Tarantino knockoff, and each faux-retro strum on the soundtrack starts to feel like a burden. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Apr 9, 2015
C 29% The Longest Ride (2015) " Qualifies as one of the best Sparks films by virtue of not including any love-ghosts or destructive misinformation about how Alzheimer's works. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Apr 9, 2015
C 42% Effie Gray (2015) " On a purely technical level, Effie Gray is fine, if uninspired, with its washed-out color, attention to detail, and lack of heavy-handed moralizing. As an experience, though, it's a drag without much reward. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Apr 2, 2015
C+ 83% Cheatin' (2015) " Cheatin' offers little narrative or emotional advantage over watching a series of the director's more concise works. At 76 minutes, it should play like a short feature. Instead, it's more like an extra-long short. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Apr 2, 2015
B+ 82% Furious 7 (2015) " The series will doubtless continue on with Diesel, Rodriguez, Johnson, and the rest, but in the meantime, Furious 7 comes to the most conclusive and emotionally satisfying ending since, fittingly, the very first film. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Apr 2, 2015
C+ 50% Like Sunday, Like Rain (2015) " Whaley aims high for this sort of material, but his film, sweet as it is, gets a little too precocious. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Mar 26, 2015
C 29% Get Hard (2015) " Before the movie has even really begun, it's already fudging its own premise and undermining its satire. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Mar 26, 2015
C+ 47% Home (2015) " DreamWorks movies are often about outsiders learning that they don't have to fit in, a lesson the filmmakers may not have absorbed themselves. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Mar 26, 2015
C+ 22% Tracers (2015) " A movie about Taylor Lautner joining a parkour gang, and often exactly as silly as that sounds. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Mar 19, 2015
C 31% Insurgent (2015) " Insurgent has more action than Divergent, but not much more excitement. Perhaps a more mercenary blockbuster mentality could have at least shaped that action into stronger set pieces. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Mar 19, 2015
D+ 55% Walter (2015) " What's not to love, after all, about a therapist who calls a mentally unbalanced man crazy to his face? But it's also an appropriate response to both Walter the movie and Walter the ridiculous construct of a movie character. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Mar 12, 2015
C- 11% Unfinished Business (2015) " Like several of Vaughn's most recent comedies, this one concerns itself with keeping its heart in the "right" place-i.e., a safe distance from the unsavory business of laughter. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Mar 5, 2015
B+ 92% The Hunting Ground (2015) " The Hunting Ground isn't necessarily a great film-but it doesn't need to be to work as powerful advocacy. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Feb 26, 2015
C+ 79% McFarland USA (2015) " Caro keeps the material picturesque, respectful, and respectable-without crossing the line into real inspiration. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Feb 19, 2015
C- 64% The Rewrite (2015) " Once in a while, Grant tosses off a funny line; more often, he's too busy mouthing Lawrence's patronizations. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Feb 12, 2015
C+ 36% Hits (2015) " The satire of self-satisfied, opportunistic Brooklynites is cutting, but it lacks the humanity afforded the upstate characters, and quickly repeats itself, seemingly by design. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Feb 12, 2015
B 59% The Last 5 Years (2015) " Kendrick sings her heart out and also proves a great reactor, managing to steal a couple of scenes from Jordan even when he's the one singing. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Feb 12, 2015
90% Wild (2014) " The movie does an admirable job visualizing the potentially tedious process of a person walking around, thinking about herself. " ‐ The L Magazine
Posted Feb 6, 2015
72% Big Eyes (2014) " A portrait of Burton's native California: sunny pop-art sprawl with undercurrents of dysfunction and menace. " ‐ The L Magazine
Posted Feb 6, 2015
9% Taken 3 (2015) " Taken 3 feels like a perfunctory coda. This time, it's vaguely impersonal. " ‐ The L Magazine
Posted Feb 6, 2015
28% Wild Card (2015) " Wild Card is kind of pointless, but it goes down swinging. " ‐ The L Magazine
Posted Feb 6, 2015
51% The Humbling (2015) " One of Levinson's worst movies ever, one that rambles and rambles and rambles like its lead character " ‐ The L Magazine
Posted Feb 6, 2015
37% Black or White (2015) " What if Mike Binder, that humanist with seemingly no idea of how humans actually behave, made a movie about race that claims to be about people? " ‐ The L Magazine
Posted Feb 6, 2015
13% Seventh Son (2015) " Look, I'm not saying you should rush out and see Seventh Son. But if you do, and wind up enjoying it more than Still Alice or Crazy Heart, I won't tell anyone. " ‐ The L Magazine
Posted Feb 6, 2015
D 25% Enter the Dangerous Mind (2015) " A stalker thriller rife with the kind of details that the filmmakers might call "psychological" and that psychologists might call "insultingly stupid." " ‐ AV Club
Posted Feb 5, 2015
B+ 92% Girlhood (2015) " Writer-director CĂ©line Sciamma expertly places her characters in that nebulous region between child and adult. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Jan 29, 2015
57% The X-Files: Season 8 (TV, 2000-2001) " The post-Mulder episodes are on the dull side. And the season as a whole is a serviceable study of how quickly a good show can go bad-the fragile nature of good television. " ‐ PopMatters
Posted Jan 23, 2015
B 13% Mortdecai (2015) " It's exactly the sort of oddball trifle, like Hudson Hawk, that tends to attract the ire of baffled audiences and grumpy critics. It's also the sort of oddball trifle that, like Hudson Hawk, will put certain aficionados of silliness in a pretty good mood. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Jan 23, 2015
B- 36% Song One (2015) " Not enough happens in Song One for the movie to really qualify as unpredictable, but it deserves credit for a steadfast avoidance of melodrama in a story that practically begs for it. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Jan 22, 2015
B- 18% Strange Magic (2015) " The movie maintains its own level of oddball invention that at least feels pleasantly removed from the grind of big-studio cartoon manufacturing. At times, it's surprisingly messy for a mainstream animated feature. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Jan 22, 2015
8/10 89% Girls: Season 3 (TV, 2014) " Over the course of these 12 episodes from the spring of 2013, the show levels out some of its characters and its seriocomic tone, with fewer of the melodramatic swings that capped the second season. " ‐ PopMatters
Posted Jan 21, 2015
C 54% Spare Parts (2015) " Sequences and scenes end unceremoniously, everyone in the movie seems to know each other's backstory before they're properly introduced, and mild jokes land with uncertainty. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Jan 20, 2015
B- 98% Appropriate Behavior (2015) " Ultimately, Appropriate Behavior works almost in spite of itself ... " ‐ AV Club
Posted Jan 15, 2015
6/10 81% The Fault In Our Stars (2014) " The actors and the basic material ensure that The Fault in Our Stars remains, in its movie form, an affecting love story. " ‐ PopMatters
Posted Jan 6, 2015
C 21% The Woman in Black 2 Angel of Death (2015) " Redundancy is about all it offers, despite an entirely new set of characters and a story set 40 years after the early 20th-century original. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Jan 2, 2015
B 71% Into the Woods (2014) " Even if this Into The Woods lacks the exhilaration of the best movie musicals, it does capture the show's emotional intimacy -- no small task in a field that favors razzle dazzle. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Dec 23, 2014
C 60% Goodbye to All That (2014) " In between missteps, Goodbye To All That carves out some of its brief running time for the kind of quiet, low-key dramedy that complements the recessive charm of its leading man. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Dec 16, 2014
C 6% The Color of Time (2014) " Franco makes a lot of art, both good and bad. But no one provides a bolder example of the vanishing lines that used to separate movie stars, fringe artists, and working actors. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Dec 11, 2014
C- 9% The Pyramid (2014) " These B-movie touches aren't especially scary, and the characters are too paralyzed with fear to have much fun with the silliness. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Dec 5, 2014
B+ 62% Life Partners (2014) " Most of the time, the banter doesn't sound like banter; the movie shares Sasha and Paige's unforced shorthand. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Dec 4, 2014
C+ 35% Horrible Bosses 2 (2014) " The laughs don't linger, even within individual scenes. What remains, reinforced by a set of end-credit outtakes, is the sense that Sudeikis, Day, Bateman, and Pine had a really good time making a sort of okay movie. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Nov 25, 2014
D 0% Reach Me (2014) " The score works overtime to assert what kind of movie this is, sometimes shifting several times within a single scene. Choices include a low-rent thriller, a contemplative drama, and a slick Elmore Leonard-style crime farce. None of them stick. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Nov 20, 2014
D+ 17% A Merry Friggin' Christmas (2014) " Instead of bringing together a fractured family, the movie stays diffuse. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Nov 7, 2014
76% The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe (2005) " It's not really the religious stuff that does the film in - though the combination of fantasy and allegory does have the presumably unintended effect of making belief systems in general seem downright hallucinatory. " ‐ The L Magazine
Posted Nov 6, 2014
14% The Love Guru (2008) " The Love Guru feels like the third or fourth sequel to itself. " ‐ The L Magazine
Posted Nov 6, 2014
54% Mamma Mia! (2008) " After 40 minutes, it feels a bit like scarfing an entire bag of Doritos. " ‐ The L Magazine
Posted Nov 6, 2014
20% The Last Song (2010) " Two pretty teenagers, trying to out-Christ each other. " ‐ The L Magazine
Posted Nov 6, 2014
29% Dear John (2010) " At first it looks as if the movie might at least raise some difficult wartime questions, but Sparks only uses real-world elements like war or autism or cancer to shuffle the tragic-romance deck. " ‐ The L Magazine
Posted Nov 6, 2014
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