Jesse Hassenger

Jesse Hassenger

Agrees with the Tomatometer 77% of the time.

Jesse Hassenger's reviews only count toward the Tomatometer when published at the following Tomatometer-approved publication(s): AV Club, Filmcritic.com, PopMatters, Time Out

Listing Of All Reviews & Articles

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Rating T-Meter Title | Year Review
C+ 53% A LEGO Brickumentary (2015) "Brickumentary has plenty to temporarily divert Lego fans, but little to distinguish itself from the kind of primer profiles that used to run on TV newsmagazines. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Jul 30, 2015
C 24% Vacation (2015) "Whenever Daley and Goldstein have the opportunity to make any biting observations or mount sustained original gags, they floor it in the opposite direction. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Jul 29, 2015
C+ 36% Staten Island Summer "Rather than offer any insight into what it's like living in arguably the most remote section of New York City, the movie focuses its energy on forcing Phillips and Pearlman to re-enact Superbad. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Jul 23, 2015
C- 18% Pixels (2015) "Even on its own silly terms, Pixels is not a very good movie; it's painted up like a Ghostbusters-style fantasy-comedy but plays like so many slapdash Happy Madison productions before it. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Jul 23, 2015
B+ 85% Trainwreck (2015) "Unlike many comic vehicles and just as many big-city romances, it's a real, and ultimately rewarding, piece of work. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Jul 16, 2015
C+ 87% Mr. Holmes (2015) "Mr. Holmes has moments of palpable regret and loss, but visually speaking, it looks like a blandly touching movie about a lonely old man who befriends a scrappy kid and learns about the magic of storytelling. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Jul 16, 2015
C+ 35% Strangerland (2015) "Kidman clarifies as much as she can, and for a while the movie seems to be on her wavelength. Eventually, though, its mysteries get lost in the shadows. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Jul 9, 2015
C 54% Minions (2015) "Minions has idiosyncratic roots, but it's a franchise play all the way. Finally, even 5-year-olds have their own movie that mechanically cashes in on something they loved when they were younger. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Jul 9, 2015
C 55% Stung (2015) "In the movie's final stretch, nearly every scene feels drawn out to twice its natural length-and not as an exercise in unbearable tension. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Jul 2, 2015
C+ 62% Jackie & Ryan (2015) "The section of the movie that should offer a climactic rush, however fleeting, feels instead more like falling action, or even a postscript. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Jul 2, 2015
B- 79% Advantageous (2015) "As in a lot of good sci-fi, the movie is set in a particular world, but driven by the characters that inhabit it. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Jun 25, 2015
C- 19% 7 Minutes (2015) "Though 7 Minutes does offer an impressive array of backstories for a film that initially appears to be about three semi-interchangeable guys, most of those backstories are still dominated by clichés ... " ‐ AV Club
Posted Jun 25, 2015
C 37% The Face Of An Angel (2015) "Past Winterbottom films have turned "real life" into both comedy and tragedy. The Face Of An Angel turns it into a directionless skulk. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Jun 18, 2015
C- 82% Infinitely Polar Bear (2015) "The daughters are barely distinguished from each other, Maggie's arm's-length affection for Cam doesn't deepen, and Ruffalo overacts like never before. This isn't much of a movie. It's a series of well-intentioned anecdotes. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Jun 18, 2015
B- 48% Live From New York! (2015) "Give Nguyen some credit upfront for making a documentary that only sometimes retreads familiar material. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Jun 11, 2015
B 95% Spy (2015) "Rare is the broad mainstream comedy that can goof on its bigger-budget Hollywood siblings while providing a few moments of sincere uplift. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Jun 4, 2015
B- 89% When Marnie Was There (2015) "As a children's movie, it's uncommonly sensitive and complicated, rooted in relationships rather than dazzling action. But adults may notice its simple poetry turning, after a while, to suds. " ‐ AV Club
Posted May 28, 2015
B- 54% Gemma Bovery (2015) "Arterton proves again that she has starrier magnetism in movies that slow down enough to appreciate it, even if she winds up as much a symbol as her own person. " ‐ AV Club
Posted May 28, 2015
B 76% Love at First Fight (2015) "Even when it's slowing down, Fight shows beguiling confidence in both its filmmaking and its characters-enough to make its smallest romantic moments feel significant. " ‐ AV Club
Posted May 21, 2015
C 77% Time Lapse (2015) "The three central actors lack warmth or even basic rapport from the start, which makes it difficult to trust their fuzzy interpretation of the time-travel rules-or, for that matter, their tolerance for each other. " ‐ AV Club
Posted May 14, 2015
C+ 83% Animals (2015) "The actors do their best to bring humanity to the junkie clichés, assisted by their character-actor mix of familiarity and anonymity. " ‐ AV Club
Posted May 14, 2015
B- 65% Pitch Perfect 2 (2015) "It's not as smooth a ride as Pitch Perfect, but it doesn't really need to be. " ‐ AV Club
Posted May 14, 2015
C 86% Noble (2015) "The real Noble accomplished a lot, but the movie insists on giving her achievements a mystical and mythical dimension ... without the imagination to carry it off. " ‐ AV Club
Posted May 7, 2015
C+ 84% I Am Big Bird: The Caroll Spinney Story (2015) "Spinney's unassuming career is worth celebrating, even if it doesn't provide much of a story. " ‐ AV Club
Posted May 7, 2015
C- 48% Ride (2015) "Technically, most of this proceeds smoothly; on a writing level, it's something of a mess. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Apr 30, 2015
C 54% The Age of Adaline (2015) "For a movie that emulates literature, The Age Of Adaline never fits comfortably into a particular form-literary or cinematic. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Apr 23, 2015
C- 6% Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015) "Maybe Paul Blart isn't spoofing John McClane after all; maybe these movies are actually too stupid to realize what they're imitating. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Apr 20, 2015
D 9% Kill Me Three Times (2015) "It's too listless to even qualify as a proper Tarantino knockoff, and each faux-retro strum on the soundtrack starts to feel like a burden. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Apr 9, 2015
C 31% The Longest Ride (2015) "Qualifies as one of the best Sparks films by virtue of not including any love-ghosts or destructive misinformation about how Alzheimer's works. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Apr 9, 2015
C 42% Effie Gray (2015) "On a purely technical level, Effie Gray is fine, if uninspired, with its washed-out color, attention to detail, and lack of heavy-handed moralizing. As an experience, though, it's a drag without much reward. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Apr 2, 2015
C+ 85% Cheatin' (2015) "Cheatin' offers little narrative or emotional advantage over watching a series of the director's more concise works. At 76 minutes, it should play like a short feature. Instead, it's more like an extra-long short. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Apr 2, 2015
B+ 81% Furious 7 (2015) "The series will doubtless continue on with Diesel, Rodriguez, Johnson, and the rest, but in the meantime, Furious 7 comes to the most conclusive and emotionally satisfying ending since, fittingly, the very first film. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Apr 2, 2015
C+ 53% Like Sunday, Like Rain (2015) "Whaley aims high for this sort of material, but his film, sweet as it is, gets a little too precocious. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Mar 26, 2015
C 29% Get Hard (2015) "Before the movie has even really begun, it's already fudging its own premise and undermining its satire. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Mar 26, 2015
C+ 45% Home (2015) "DreamWorks movies are often about outsiders learning that they don't have to fit in, a lesson the filmmakers may not have absorbed themselves. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Mar 26, 2015
C+ 22% Tracers (2015) "A movie about Taylor Lautner joining a parkour gang, and often exactly as silly as that sounds. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Mar 19, 2015
C 30% Insurgent (2015) "Insurgent has more action than Divergent, but not much more excitement. Perhaps a more mercenary blockbuster mentality could have at least shaped that action into stronger set pieces. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Mar 19, 2015
D+ 58% Walter (2015) "What's not to love, after all, about a therapist who calls a mentally unbalanced man crazy to his face? But it's also an appropriate response to both Walter the movie and Walter the ridiculous construct of a movie character. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Mar 12, 2015
C- 11% Unfinished Business (2015) "Like several of Vaughn's most recent comedies, this one concerns itself with keeping its heart in the "right" place-i.e., a safe distance from the unsavory business of laughter. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Mar 5, 2015
B+ 92% The Hunting Ground (2015) "The Hunting Ground isn't necessarily a great film-but it doesn't need to be to work as powerful advocacy. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Feb 26, 2015
C+ 79% McFarland USA (2015) "Caro keeps the material picturesque, respectful, and respectable-without crossing the line into real inspiration. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Feb 19, 2015
C- 64% The Rewrite (2015) "Once in a while, Grant tosses off a funny line; more often, he's too busy mouthing Lawrence's patronizations. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Feb 12, 2015
C+ 36% Hits (2015) "The satire of self-satisfied, opportunistic Brooklynites is cutting, but it lacks the humanity afforded the upstate characters, and quickly repeats itself, seemingly by design. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Feb 12, 2015
B 60% The Last 5 Years (2015) "Kendrick sings her heart out and also proves a great reactor, managing to steal a couple of scenes from Jordan even when he's the one singing. " ‐ AV Club
Posted Feb 12, 2015
90% Wild (2014) "The movie does an admirable job visualizing the potentially tedious process of a person walking around, thinking about herself. " ‐ The L Magazine
Posted Feb 6, 2015
72% Big Eyes (2014) "A portrait of Burton's native California: sunny pop-art sprawl with undercurrents of dysfunction and menace. " ‐ The L Magazine
Posted Feb 6, 2015
9% Taken 3 (2015) "Taken 3 feels like a perfunctory coda. This time, it's vaguely impersonal. " ‐ The L Magazine
Posted Feb 6, 2015
27% Wild Card (2015) "Wild Card is kind of pointless, but it goes down swinging. " ‐ The L Magazine
Posted Feb 6, 2015
52% The Humbling (2015) "One of Levinson's worst movies ever, one that rambles and rambles and rambles like its lead character " ‐ The L Magazine
Posted Feb 6, 2015
39% Black or White (2015) "What if Mike Binder, that humanist with seemingly no idea of how humans actually behave, made a movie about race that claims to be about people? " ‐ The L Magazine
Posted Feb 6, 2015
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